October 22, 2023

Shame & Expectation: Shedding The Shoulds

45 minutes

Wow — what a powerful and deep conversation with Steve where we dive deep into his experience as a Nigerian man who immigrated to the US and the experiences we all face trying to sift through expectations, norms, and shame-driven pressures to produce, do, and be successful. Some of the key points we hit on:

The grief in realizing we can’t do and be it all, even when the world seems to expect it from you

Reconciling what our “best” looks like versus the expectations we have of ourselves

Navigating expectations, existing in a place of duality and code-switching

The process of individuation and self-acceptance mainly when it differs from our parent's expectations

How to differentiate what we do from values-driven choices versus shame-driven pressure

The pressures on an immigrant family and the internalized bias that perpetuates unrealistic expectations of success and performance

The “pound of flesh” experience for immigrant children

The process of energy refinement and self-integration

Steve Amaefuna was born in Nigeria and immigrated to NJ when he was 4. He recently graduated from an anesthesia residency program in Baltimore. He is passionate about fitness, music, and goldfish and is excited to share his perspective, challenges, successes and hopes with the world.

Connect With Steve:

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