Shamelessly Feminine

I'm guessing you have a toxic person (or two!) in your life. How can you recognize toxic people? Why is it so hard to recognize that toxicity? And what does recovery look like?

Co-host Lauren Trantham and I dig into what a toxic relationship looks like, why they can be so hard to pinpoint, and how you can recover from that type of abusive relationship. We want you to know that if you're in an abusive relationship, please seek help because you have the freedom to make choices and get out.

Recognizing Toxic People

For me, I have one of two reactions to toxic people: (1) they either make my skin crawl immediately OR (2) I understand they're toxic but believe I can help "fix" them.

One way to recognize toxic people is to ask, "How does this person make me feel?"

In my life, I don't want to upset the toxic person so I stuff down my own feelings and don't take care of myself, all in the name of selflessness.

Even when you recognize toxic people, you sometimes can't separate from them, e.g. a family member. Toxic relationships are complicated.

Emotional and verbal abuse comes out like a dripping faucet, but the next thing you know, you have a flood. Humans can adapt to almost anything so we adapt to abuse too. Abuse happens slowly.

Two more keys to recognizing toxic people are asking, "Can I identify the drips?" and "Am I able to do something about it?"

You can only control your own reactions.

Recovering from Toxic People

Lauren shares these best practices as she's recovering from her toxic relationship:

1. Be really clear about how you feel.
2. Take moments to discover how you feel.
3. Analyze if there's any legitimacy to how you feel.
4. Be really clear on who you are.
5. Surround yourself with those who know and love you.

Conclusion:

Remember that abuse can be really hard to recognize because it's made up of little manipulations. Also, know that you can recover. You are free to do what you need to do to get help.

Key Quotes from the Episode:

There is life after toxic people - Jen Rozenbaum

Connect with Jen and Shamelessly Feminine:

• Join our Shamelessly Feminine Facebook Group
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Facebook
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Instagram

This episode was originally published on shamelesslyfeminine.com/episode47.

It all started with a Facebook post by my friend (and today's co-host) Jana Vallone when she shared a link to a Sports Illustrated story about hip cleavage being a new trend. You guys know that I'm all about accepting all body types, but when did women's body types get "trendy"? And is that even ok?

My fellow boudoir photographer and today's podcast co-host Jana Vallone and I share our thoughts about body trends, body image, and the media in this episode. If you're ready for an unfiltered conversation about who and why women's bodies are deemed trendy, listen in.

What's Going on With Body "Trends"

Jana and I agree that we are thankful that all body types are now being featured in the media, but my concern is that our bodies can even be trendy at all.

We know that you can't change the shape of your body although you can gain/lose weight or have surgery. But we have fallen victim to the idea that our bodies can become trendy.

Body Terms

You and I hear the terms "plus size," "curvy," and "fat" every day. In the 1980s and 1990s, Kate Moss and the waif-ish look was in. Now, J. Lo, Nicki Minaj, and Kim Kardashian are trendy. Their bodies have been under the knife so how can we keep up with that?

How you feel about your body impacts every interaction and relationship you have.

Dad Bod versus Mom Bod

In our society, Dad Bod, a.k.a. letting yourself go, is considered cool while Mom Bod needs to be "fixed."

Men find women rising up as intimidating. Men are scared of women's bodies so they make women's bodies trendy.

Labeling our bodies and what's "trendy" is a form of control.

Conclusion:

Let's ask the question, "Is it ok that you're being labeled as trendy?" Question what you see and what the media feeds you. What's hidden underneath? What are the motives behind the message?

Key Quotes from the Episode:

• "Women's attractiveness has a shelf life." - Jen Rozenbaum

• "I can't understand how we've made body image … trendy." - Jen Rozenbaum

• "How about the trend should be, 'No two bodies are the same so whatever you have, love that'?" - Jen Rozenbaum

• "Let's make sure that we're all inclusive." - Jana Vallone

• "Body image and body acceptance affect every, single woman." - Jen Rozenbaum

• "We have to be smarter than the trends." - Jana Vallone

• "Fight where you can and question, question, question." - Jana Vallone

Connect with Jana Vallone:

Instagram

Website

Connect with Jen and Shamelessly Feminine:

• Join our Shamelessly Feminine Facebook Group
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Facebook
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Instagram

This episode was originally published on shamelesslyfeminine.com/episode46.

The #1 question I get asked is: "How did they find your cancer?" I share it all in this episode. If you've ever wondered about my cancer story, this is your episode. Lauren and I talk about how doctors found my cancer, what life has been like since, and my advice to you about cancer.

How Doctors Found My Cancer

My cancer story started in 2016 when I went in for my first mammogram at age 40. Doctors found calcifications on the left side of my left breast and I was told to come back in six months to follow up. Not much had changed so I came back for a mammogram in another six months.

In January 2017, the mammogram revealed cysts on my right side, but again, there seemed to be no cause for alarm. Between January and July 2017, I took a selfie and noticed a shadow, a bump that just didn't look right. It didn't feel like a lump, but more like a swollen muscle.

I went for a sonogram in July 2017 and nothing new was found, but I mentioned to my doctors that I had found a bump on the upper part of my right breast. When they looked at the spot, a giant, football-sized hole appeared on the screen.

The technician went for the doctor, who told me that I couldn't leave until he performed a biopsy. During the biopsy, he implanted a titanium marker, which is standard procedure. The doctor came back and told me, "This isn't good," and I found out I had cancer. The cancer -- invasive lobular carcinoma -- never showed up on a mammogram because it doesn't take the form of tumors, but spreads through the lobules of the breasts. I also had no signs of being sick, but was really tired and couldn't find energy.

There was a week between the initial biopsy and the official diagnosis. As a patient that week, I had so many questions about the diagnosis, prognosis, and life questions like, "Do I tell my kids I love them enough?"

I made the decision to have a bilateral mastectomy in July 2017.

The Battle After Cancer

Cancer has ripple effects. You're in "battle mode" during your treatment, and then you're in "battle mode" to put your life back together. The emotions come after you're out of survival mode.

You may have finished with surgery, chemo, and other treatments, but there is still so much more to process physically and emotionally. It's very easy for me to get paranoid about what I eat and how I live. The trauma of cancer treatment can manifest itself in physical reactions to smells and objects, i.e. needles.

I go to therapy to help me process my experience.

Some days are good and some days are just bad. However, when I look for it, I can find the good in my cancer like new friendships, perspectives, and opportunities.

My Advice About Cancer

Do self-checks, be your own advocate, talk to your doctor. And just know that even if you do everything right, you still might get cancer. I worked out, took my vitamins, ate well, and didn't have a family history of breast cancer, yet I still got cancer.

Connect with Lauren Trantham:

• Ride My Road (Facebook)
• Ride My Road (Website)
• Authentic Media Training (Facebook)
• Authentic Media Training (Website)

Lauren Trantham's superpower is fierce tenderheartedness. Just imagine an elite ninja crossed with a hopeful romantic and you can understand her personality! She believes in black coffee, dark beer, shooting straight liquor, and that true strength lies in vulnerability. When she is not riding her motorcycle or traveling the world she is helping entrepreneurs find their authentic message so they can grow their business by getting real.

Key Quotes from the Episode:

• "Cancer doesn't always show up. It's not so simple." - Jen Rozenbaum
• But then I said, "I'm ready to fight for my life." - Jen Rozenbaum
• "There's no end to it." - Jen Rozenbaum
• "I don't want to just keep putting Band-Aids on my boo-boos. I want to heal my boo-boos." - Jen Rozenbaum
• "It's very easy for the darkness to overshadow the light." - Jen Rozenbaum
• "Don't be afraid to call your doctor … Be your own advocate." - Jen Rozenbaum

Connect with Jen and Shamelessly Feminine:

• Join our Shamelessly Feminine Facebook Group
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Facebook
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Instagram

This episode was originally published on shamelesslyfeminine.com/episode45.

Do you find that you like everything to be perfect? That you can't stand it when you let someone down? Do you have a low tolerance for mistakes? And does forgiving yourself seem impossible?

Lauren and I dissect our lives as we talk about what perfectionism is, why we can't stand making mistakes, and how to forgive ourselves. You'll also hear about the mistake Lauren made for a charity event, the time I hit a 95-year old man with my car, and an email from a fan declaring his love for me. You won't want to miss this episode.

Letting Go of Perfectionism

Recently, Lauren left off her partner's logo on a graphic promoting a charity event. She felt horrible.

Here's one question to ask yourself when you're struggling with being perfect: What is the truth in this situation?

Making Mistakes

Lauren believes that she's not so much a perfectionist, but someone who doesn't want to let anyone down. When she does make a mistake, she resolves to be better only to let someone down again.

Here are several questions to ask yourself when you're struggling with being perfect:

• Where does that thought come from?

• Do I hold people to the same standards that I hold myself to?

• What stories am I telling myself?

Forgiving Yourself

Others may forgive you far more easily than you forgive yourself.

Here's one question to ask yourself when things don't go as you planned: Can I forgive myself when I make a mistake?

Your Next Steps

Remember that perfectionism can show up in body image and unrealistic expectations. Read this Psychology Today article, Mothers are Drowning in Stress, to get an idea.

Here are two more questions to ask when you're struggling with perfectionism, making mistakes, and forgiving yourself:

• Who do I have to be perfect for, i.e. who demands perfection from me?

• What is real?

If you struggle with perfectionism and a low tolerance for mistakes, will you get back with us?

Let us know if you struggle in these areas too!

Other Episodes Mentioned:

Episode 40: Pachamama - A Moving Experience in Peru

Connect with Lauren Trantham:

• Ride My Road (Facebook)
• Ride My Road (Website)
• Authentic Media Training (Facebook)
• Authentic Media Training (Website)

Lauren Trantham's superpower is fierce tenderheartedness. Just imagine an elite ninja crossed with a hopeful romantic and you can understand her personality! She believes in black coffee, dark beer, shooting straight liquor, and that true strength lies in vulnerability. When she is not riding her motorcycle or traveling the world she is helping entrepreneurs find their authentic message so they can grow their business by getting real.

Key Quotes from the episode:

• There's so much pressure on women to be perfect. - Jen Rozenbaum

• Perfection isn't real. - Jen Rozenbaum

• Perfectionism comes back to self-worth and forgiveness. - Lauren Trantham
• We're trying to be everything all the time. - Jen Rozenbaum

Connect with Jen and Shamelessly Feminine:

• Join our Shamelessly Feminine Facebook Group
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Facebook
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Instagram

This episode was originally published on shamelesslyfeminine.com/episode44.

Stress is a part of life, especially for women who are passionate about what they're doing. So how does it affect us and what are five practical ways you can de-stress today?

My co-host Lauren Trantham and I share three ways stress impacts life, what's stressing us out right now, and five practices to help battle stress. You know you're stressed right now so join us in this friendly conversation about stress and how we all struggle with it.

The Impact of Stress

As women, we care for everyone and everything around us. We take on a lot and that responsibility has an impact.

Stress Impacts You Emotionally

It's easy to pull back from our friends when you need people the most. You may not share what's going on in your life so you feel isolated or you may not be as available for your friends as you'd like to be. There's also the element of guilt that you're not a good friend or daughter when you're in stress.

Stress Impacts Your Mindset

Stress also makes every problem seem bigger. Keeping perspective is hard because everything seems like a big deal and small things can set you off.

Stress Impacts Your Body

Sometimes in times of stress, your brain seems to shut down and you can't think clearly. Your body tells you that you can't push it to do any more than it's already doing. High-emotion times can lead to sickness.

What's Stressing You Out

You're a woman who knows what she wants and is multi-passionate. One area that may cause you stress is work, but how do you not do what you're passionate about? How do you do what you love without getting overly stressed? How do you not over-do it, get work done, and take care of yourself?

Five Practical Strategies to Help Manage Stress

1. Ask yourself, "Who am I? What do I want?" In stress, you may feel disconnected from your "why."
2. Find gratitude in the mundane. We lose sight of all we have to be thankful for in times of stress.
3. Develop a game plan. Go through the options at your disposal with friends, family, or co-workers.
4. Rest in awe. Do something that amazes you and is restful. Rest and relax in what lights you up.
5. Remember you always have 10 minutes. Take a deep breath. Step outside. Read a book. Meditate.

Conclusion:

Lauren and I don't have the answers to stress, but we are right there with you. You've got the tools that can help you manage the stress. It's just a matter of using them.

Other Episodes Mentioned:

Episode 26: Practicing Mindfulness with Cory Muscara

Connect with Lauren Trantham:

• Ride My Road (Website)
• Ride My Road (Facebook)
• Authentic Media Training (Facebook)
• Authentic Media Training (Website)

Lauren Trantham's superpower is fierce tenderheartedness. Just imagine an elite ninja crossed with a hopeful romantic and you can understand her personality! She believes in black coffee, dark beer, shooting straight liquor, and that true strength lies in vulnerability. When she is not riding her motorcycle or traveling the world she is helping entrepreneurs find their authentic message so they can grow their business by getting real.

Key Quotes from the Episode:

• "Women take on a lot." - Jen Rozenbaum
• "Can I find gratitude?" - Jen Rozenbaum
• "Rest in awe." - Lauren Trantham

Connect with Jen and Shamelessly Feminine:

• Join our Shamelessly Feminine Facebook Group
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Facebook
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Instagram

This episode was originally published on shamelesslyfeminine.com/episode43.

What does confidence have to do with reaching your potential? What's one secret you need to know to live more confidently today? And how does your wardrobe impact how others respond to you?

Devoreaux Walton, an author and confidence coach, joins me as we talk about confidence, self-talk, and your wardrobe. While we don't see eye-to-eye on everything we talk, we still collaborate and connect, and respect the heck out of each other! If your confidence needs a boost and you don't know where to start, listen to Devoreaux's wisdom.

Devoreaux's Journey from Feeling Stuck to Living with Confidence

In 2014, Devoreaux was frustrated. She felt stuck working at a job she didn't enjoy. She wanted to be confident and charismatic, but she wasn't. Then she discovered counseling and therapy then she hired a life coach and audited her closet.

Through her experience, she discovered "insider secrets" to become confident in who you are.

One insider secret is to be aware of your mindset and to understand the power of self-talk.

We all have lots of thoughts throughout the day with the majority being negative. Being self-aware of the thoughts you're thinking can shift the focus of the negative and toward the positive.

But how do you stop the negative self-talk?

Focus on gratitude. Ask yourself, "What's the best-case scenario?" Focus on the good that can happen.

What happens when the best-case scenario doesn't happen?

Remember to control what you can control, which is what you do, say, and think. When the outcome doesn't go your way, think through what went well and what could be improved for next time. Honor yourself for what you did well and then evaluate what could go better the next time.

How does your wardrobe impact your confidence?

There's a massive impact between clothing and confidence. How you dress impacts how others view you and how you view yourself. The response you get from people when you wear yoga pants will be a different response than when you wear a suit.

After a difficult emotional time, dressing in a way that makes you feel confident and taking good care of yourself will help you feel more empowered.

Spending time the night before can make a world of difference in having a successful tomorrow.

What if you're multi-faceted and you're unsure what image you want to show the world?

There are times and places for everything. In general, it's possible to have a consistent theme with your colors, fabrics and textures no matter what roles you play.

So what is Devoreaux's Style?

Her style has evolved because style is all about continuous improvement. We're all changing and growing. It's about a journey and enjoying the present moment.

Three to four years ago, Devoreaux's style was more Americana, e.g. J. Crew and Ralph Lauren. Now, she prefers timeless elegance like Talbots, St. John, and Chanel. Her wardrobe has really shrunk. She encourages us to get rid of things that don't fit, that we haven't worn in a while, and aren't respectful to our bodies. Audit your closet and maximize the essentials in your wardrobe.

Devoreaux believes that women should always cover their derrieres, bosoms, and mid-sections. I don't agree with this. But that's okay!

Connect with Devoreaux Walton:

• Website
• YouTube
• Facebook

Devoreaux Walton is an author and confidence coach who serves as the CEO and Founder at The Modern Lady, a lifestyle company that educates and empowers women to live their best lives. Walton and her team teach women worldwide how to elevate their lives with elegance – helping them to unlock and unleash their feminine power through coaching, courses, and community. Walton knows the power of mindset, wardrobe, and charisma, and teaches timeless life principles for women to upgrade the essence of their chic selves to truly thrive. A Spelman College graduate with a Bachelor's degree in Psychology and a Washington University in St. Louis graduate with a Master's degree in Business Administration, Walton is candid about sharing lessons learned from her corporate career at Google and IBM to inform and inspire her clients. A Southern belle from Atlanta, Georgia, Walton currently resides in Dallas, Texas, with her Maltipoo daughter, Nyla.

Listen + Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or STITCHER

• We'd greatly appreciate a podcast rating and review so that we can reach more women!
• Search for the podcast in your podcast app (Shamelessly Feminine)
• Scroll down and click 5 stars
• Tap "Write a Review" & enter a brief review
• Press send

Key Quotes from the Episode:

• "The real problem lies in the fact that most women are constantly focusing on only the areas of improvement and not the areas of excellence." - Devoreaux Walton
• "It's about you being able to like what you see in the mirror." - Devoreaux Walton
• You'll have much more joy and confidence when you're authentic." - Devoreaux Walton
• "Who we are today is a reflection of who we want to be today." - Devoreaux Walton
• "We can all live differently and still be powerful and amazing and a collective." - Jen Rozenbaum

Connect with Jen and Shamelessly Feminine:

• Join our Shamelessly Feminine Facebook Group
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Facebook
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Instagram

This episode was originally published on shamelesslyfeminine.com/episode42.

How can you discover your femininity? Is it possible to embrace your aging self? And why are sexuality and femininity so closely tied together?

I chat with MILF podcast host and author Jennifer Tracy dive deep as we talk about femininity, sensuality, and sexuality as women in our 40s. Jennifer shares her personal story about how she discovered her femininity and what pole dancing as to do with all of it!

How Pole Dancing Changed Jennifer's Life

Initially, Jennifer took a pole dancing class as a fundraiser hosted by a friend. She'd done burlesque and belly dancing before so she was comfortable in her skin and didn't think the class would be that big of a deal.

However, she walked into a dark room with no mirrors and she felt very awkward in her body during the class. But it was through this class that she started to wake up to her own sexuality and sensuality. Pole dancing is not about form or choreography, but all about organic movement and feeling alive.

Before she started pole dancing, she felt frumpy and wore baggy clothes. Now she's told she's sexy just by how she carries herself.

Jennifer's Journey in Discovering her Femininity

Jennifer's femininity-journey changed everything in her life in three major ways:

1. As she rediscovered her femininity, she realized that her marriage wasn't working. She and her husband went to counseling, but eventually got a divorce.
2. Jennifer changed the kind of woman she was around. She was now drawn to people who were confident, empowered, and didn't want her to dim her light.
3. Her creative juices were flowing so she wrote a novel.

Aging + Sexuality

As a 40-year-old woman, I often don't see myself in ads. I feel forgotten and overlooked. Jennifer also said that she tries not to judge her wrinkles and skin tone.

When my doctor suggested that my ovaries be removed, I cried. Here's what Jennifer said: "There is a grieving that goes along with all of these stages that is natural and needs to be honored."

Our culture doesn't give us space to grieve.

Jennifer also realized that as she gets older, she needs more rest. She reminds us that our bodies will tell us what we need.

Why Do Sensuality and Femininity Live so Closely Together?

Jennifer says that in ancient Egypt and Greece, sensuality came with empowerment. Beautiful women were adorned in beautiful clothes. Through the ages, there's a great deal of power in beauty and sensuality. Beauty, love, sex, and lust are very powerful.

Connect with Jennifer Tracy:

• Podcast
• Website
• Instagram

Listen + Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or STITCHER

• We'd greatly appreciate a podcast rating and review so that we can reach more women!
• Search for the podcast in your podcast app (Shamelessly Feminine)
• Scroll down and click 5 stars
• Tap "Write a Review" & enter a brief review
• Press send

Connect with Jen and Shamelessly Feminine:

• Join our Shamelessly Feminine Facebook Group
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Facebook
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Instagram

Key Quotes from the Episode:

• "There's a difference between being alive and feeling alive." - Jen Rozenbaum
• "There is a grieving that goes along with all of these stages that is natural and needs to be honored." - Jennifer Tracy
• "For me, getting older is getting better at listening to [my body], honoring it, and letting it be." - Jennifer Tracy

Connect with Jen and Shamelessly Feminine:

• Join our Shamelessly Feminine Facebook Group
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Facebook
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Instagram

This episode was originally published on shamelesslyfeminine.com/episode41.

Who or what is Pachamama? How did encountering her change my life? And what can you take away from my encounter with her?

In this episode, Lauren and I talk about our experience with Pachamama in Peru. This is really the story about Mother Nature, the power of feminine and energy, and believing that power. Our experience with Pachamama was both spiritual and life changing.

Our Pachamama Story

In 2014, I was asked to do an educational event for photographers in Peru so I called Lauren and asked her to come with me, and of course, she said yes. While in Peru, Reuben, an Incan, was our guide.

When we asked Reuben how the Machu Picchu ruins got there, he answered, "Aliens." Lauren and I were skeptical. As I felt the rocks, there was no energy -- they were just cold.

Then we went to Moray, which is also an Inca site where ancient Peruvians would plant crops to climatize them to the height of the peaks. At Moray, there is also a temple and the stones were warm here.

Reuben asked if we wanted to go into this sacred hole and that he would call Pachamama for us. Pachamama is Mother Nature. Peruvians don't worship her, but they do pray to her. She's a spirit and controls the weather and harvest, and is represented by a rainbow.

Lauren and I go to the hole, lay down, and Reuben calls Pachamama. We can feel the wind swirling and it sounds like a freight train. The birds stop chirping. Then the wind is gone and the birds start singing again.

We are crying. Reuben wonders why because he said he would call Pachamama and she came so what's the big deal?

The next day, the three of us go to Machu Picchu and a rainbow appears, something Reuben has never seen in almost 18 years as a tour guide. Now, Lauren and I see rainbows everywhere.

Why our encounter with Pachamama was life changing

For me, my experience with Pachamama changed my perspective. We are connected to the universe. There is a force out there. We can't downplay that there is something else out there.

My experience in Peru also opened my eyes to how other people live, that there is so much variety.

When we see how big our world is, our problems become small. Let's enjoy life! And I love that travel gives you a perspective you can't get sitting at home.

Other Episodes Mentioned:

Episode 39: Manifestaction

Connect with Lauren Trantham:

• Ride My Road (Website)
• Authentic Media Training (Facebook)
• Authentic Media Training (Website)
• Ride My Road (Facebook)

Lauren Trantham's superpower is fierce tenderheartedness. Just imagine an elite ninja crossed with a hopeful romantic and you can understand her personality! She believes in black coffee, dark beer, shooting straight liquor, and that true strength lies in vulnerability. When she is not riding her motorcycle or traveling the world she is helping entrepreneurs find their authentic message so they can grow their business by getting real.

Listen + Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or STITCHER

• We'd greatly appreciate a podcast rating and review so that we can reach more women!
• Search for the podcast in your podcast app (Shamelessly Feminine)
• Scroll down and click 5 stars
• Tap "Write a Review" & enter a brief review
• Press send

Connect with Jen and Shamelessly Feminine:

• Join our Shamelessly Feminine Facebook Group
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Facebook
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Instagram

Key Quotes from the Episode:

"Sometimes we just need a perspective of a bigger picture." - Jen

Is it possible to manifest without taking action? Can you get too specific in manifesting? And why in the world do we talk ourselves out of manifesting our biggest dreams?

In this episode, Lauren and I talk about manifestaction, what it is, how to do it, and what happens when life doesn't go exactly as you planned. If you've ever had questions about manifesting and how or when to take action, this episode is for you.

What is manifestaction?

Manifesting is intentionally creating what you want to happen in life, but manifesting also needs to involve action. To manifest, be specific about what you want and then ask that it happen in the kindest, most gentle way possible. Have the vision -- get clear about what you want -- then act on it the best way you know how. Manifestation is not about "the thing" you want, but about the energy around it - your vibe and thinking.

In my life, I asked how I could reach more women. Not long after that, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, which I saw as my way to reach more women. It's important to remember that many good things come because of pain, suffering, and hardship.

Why do we talk ourselves out of our dreams?

We women can easily talk ourselves out of pursuing our dreams, especially those money-related dreams. Here are some tips in manifesting what you really want:

• It's important to understand your motive behind your manifestation. You must know your "why."
• When you struggle with understanding why you are so blessed when others aren't, remember that you may be blessed with good things so you can bless others.
• Ask yourself what lies you're telling yourself.
• Believe in yourself and then things will happen.
• Remember that negativity attract negativity. Ask yourself what's going on in your life that's making you feel negative.
• Make a promise to yourself not to worry. Instead, turn that worry into an action phrase, "Today, I'm going to …"

Can we get too specific in our manifesting?

Lauren wonders if as she's manifesting for a new partner, if she's being a strong woman or just being nit-picky. How can you tell the difference?

• Ask yourself, "What's real vs. reel?"
• Manifest about how you want to feel when you're with someone vs. the specific looks or job of that person.
• Manifest how you want your life to look when you're with that person.
• Think about what qualities are most important to you.

Final thoughts on manifestaction

Manifesting may not take the form you thought. Listen when the universe answers, and pay attention to how the answer shows up.

Other Episodes Mentioned:

Episode 37: Reel vs. Real

Episode 36: Less But, More Butt

Connect with Lauren Trantham:

• Ride My Road (Facebook)
• Ride My Road (Website)
• Authentic Media Training (Facebook)
• Authentic Media Training (Website)

Lauren Trantham's superpower is fierce tenderheartedness. Just imagine an elite ninja crossed with a hopeful romantic and you can understand her personality! She believes in black coffee, dark beer, shooting straight liquor, and that true strength lies in vulnerability. When she is not riding her motorcycle or traveling the world she is helping entrepreneurs find their authentic message so they can grow their business by getting real.

Listen + Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or STITCHER

• We'd greatly appreciate a podcast rating and review so that we can reach more women!
• Search for the podcast in your podcast app (Shamelessly Feminine)
• Scroll down and click 5 stars
• Tap "Write a Review" & enter a brief review
• Press send

Connect with Jen and Shamelessly Feminine:

• Join our Shamelessly Feminine Facebook Group
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Facebook
• Follow Shamelessly Feminine on Instagram

Key Quotes from episode:

"Without the action, nothing is ever going to happen." - Jen

"Because [life] wasn't what I thought it would look like, I wasn't paying attention to the beautiful blessing that it was." - Lauren

This episode was originally published on shamelesslyfeminine.com/episode39.

Listen + Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or STITCHER

• We'd greatly appreciate a podcast rating and review so that we can reach more women!
• Search for the podcast in your podcast app (Shamelessly Feminine)
• Scroll down and click 5 stars
• Tap "Write a Review" & enter a brief review
• Press send

MEET THE GUEST:

Lauren Trantham's superpower is fierce tenderheartedness. Just imagine an elite ninja crossed with a hopeful romantic and you can understand her personality! She believes in black coffee, dark beer, shooting straight liquor and that true strength lies in vulnerability.

When she is not riding her motorcycle or traveling the world she is helping entrepreneurs find their authentic message so they can grow their business by getting real.

WHERE TO FIND Lauren ONLINE:

• Ride My Road (Facebook)

• Ride My Road (Website)

• Authentic Media Training (Facebook)

• Authentic Media Training (Website)

EPISODE SUMMARY:

• Let's put back feminine back into feminist! Lauren and I share our thoughts on what it means to be shamelessly feminine in 2019.
• There are also times in life when we may feel like our femininity is threatened. For example, for women like myself who struggled with breast cancer or infertility. These are things that define us as women, so what do you do when it's taken away from you? I share my experience of having a mastectomy and how I found my femininity in other places.
• Our bodies and minds are always changing. You can either constantly compare yourself to what you looked like 10, 20, 30 years ago, or you can embrace what's going on now because it won't be the same later!

"Being sexy doesn't undermine my intelligence!" - Lauren Trantham

• No two women are the same. Lauren and I share our journeys into motherhood and it's interesting to see how different our stories are. We are all trying to figure this out in our own way.
• What is the difference between masculinity and toxic masculinity? Lauren talks on the difference between the two and how many men are struggling to figure out how to be masculine in a healthy way.

"How are we defining femininity without taking the time to define masculinity as well?" -Lauren Trantham

• Show up the way that you want to! Many people question my mothering when I'm out traveling for work and the truth is, for me to be a decent mom, I need to get away from my family sometimes. Motherhood is hard and you don't have to lose your identity to be a good mom.

"You show up in the world the way that you want to be, that's shamelessly feminine!" - Jen Rozenbaum

Let's Connect!

1. See all that Jennifer has to offer at Shamelessly Feminine!
2. Join The Shamelessly Feminine Facebook Group and continue the conversation!
3. Connect more with Jennifer on Facebook and Instagram!