The story starts with a simple truth: substances feel like solutions when your identity is shaky and your heart is hurting. Jake opens up about finding alcohol in middle school, wearing the “party guy” mask to fit in, and living a double life as an athlete whose status hid deeper fractures. When college stripped away the sports identity, the spiral accelerated. A minor but piercing moment—getting fired from a part-time job—triggered a deeper look. AA offered structure, but six months of white-knuckling sobriety proved that behavior change without heart change doesn’t last.

Everything shifted with a hesitant, unpolished prayer. On his bedroom floor, Jake asked for help, and a quiet peace answered. That moment powered 14 years of sobriety sustained by meetings, service, and a budding spirituality. But without ongoing care—prayer, Scripture, community—the roots dried out. Law enforcement trauma, family pain, and isolation pulled him away from God, and fear held him sober until PTSD cornered him into a false choice: disappear or numb. Weed to sleep became drinks to forget, and daily use returned with the same old promises that never deliver.

Then came August 12. Jake describes a sudden return of God’s presence that he didn’t earn and couldn’t explain. Since then, he’s rebuilding guardrails that protect peace: honest prayer, counseling, a pastor’s steady wisdom, and friends who show up to pray rather than pour. We speak candidly about dopamine and ADHD, why numbing is seductive but destructive, and how surrender outperforms self-will. The throughline is hope: you are not your addiction, and recovery grows where truth, community, and faith intersect with action.

If you’re stuck in the loop, you don’t have to run. Stand. Reach out to us and we’ll walk with you—without shame, with real help, and with a reminder that freedom is possible. If this resonated, subscribe, share it with someone who needs hope, and leave a review to help others find the conversation.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to [email protected] or call 515-350-6274
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What if a first responder never had to weather the storm alone? We kick off season four with a live conversation that looks honestly at burnout, isolation, and the stress of the job.

We share how our EQUIP program now reaches recruits across police, fire, EMS, and dispatch, giving new classes the mental, spiritual, and relational tools we wish we had. We expand equine assisted therapy through partners like Godspeed Equine, and we clarify why “volunteers” and “ambassadors” are different: ambassadors are peers with lived experience who answer the call, sit in the chaos, and guide toward help without judgment or department ties. For families, especially spouses carrying secondary trauma, we outline retreats and resources that rebuild trust and communication.

Then we unveil the Refuge; a 100-acre vision near Des Moines with ponds, trails, cottages, and a gear-filled Morton building. Imagine borrowing a camper, kayaks, or side-by-sides and finding a quiet room or a small group ready to listen. Add a barn for gatherings, an education center for trainings and counseling, and a permanent studio to keep stories flowing. It’s not a brochure; it’s a blueprint for healing: clean water time through fishing, running, worship on your commute, painting outside your comfort zone, or riding a horse that helps your nervous system finally exhale.

If this mission resonates—whether you’re a first responder, a spouse, or someone who wants to help—join us. Subscribe, share this episode with a friend who needs hope, and email [email protected] to volunteer, become an ambassador, or support the Refuge. Your voice can multiply the message. Your action can change a life.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to [email protected] or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
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Some mornings don’t start with motivation—they start with weight. We open the mic on a day that felt crooked and talk honestly about PTSD flare-ups, addiction recovery, and why a single siren can pull old symptoms back. Instead of hiding the hard parts, we map them: the difference between being tired and being empty, how to choose the right kind of rest, and what it takes to refill when your compassion tank runs dry. Along the way, we share stories from Bible study with recruits, nature walks that quiet the noise, and small choices that turn pain into purpose.

Our conversation keeps circling back to community and faith. Comfort received becomes comfort given; grace on the mountaintop and grace in the valley. You’ll hear how vulnerability builds real connection—online and face-to-face—and why you don’t need perfect days to help someone else. If anything, your scars make you easier to understand. We push back on grind culture, name the lies that grow loud when we isolate, and offer practical tools: box breathing, unplugging, moving at God’s speed, and calling a friend before you retreat.

If you’ve ever wondered whether a setback erases your progress, this is your reminder: healing is messy and still healing. You’re not disqualified by bad days. You belong in a community that will sit with you, pray for you, and cover the work while you rest. Share this with someone who needs a lift, and email Dan at 10-42project.org if you want to connect.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to [email protected] or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
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Youtube: @1042project
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A room full of uniforms. A visitation line where strangers know stories you’ve never heard. Dakota takes us into the disorienting days after her dad's suicide ,a state trooper, and the long, uneven path that followed. 

We walk through the crowded rituals of grief and the quiet that follows.  Dakota shares how plans to fight wildfires collapsed under the weight of mental health, and how she found new footing through the discipline of taxidermy, the challenge of falconry, and the living history of World War II reenacting. Along the way, horses become a steady mirror: they test confidence, reward clarity, and invite presence without pretense.

This conversation also reaches every first responder, veteran, and parent wrestling with the lie that distance protects your family. We talk openly about isolation, shame, and the ripple effects on children who still want your time, even when life is messy. Faith runs through the episode as a quiet strength, not a shortcut; an invitation to move from monologue to dialogue, to ask for help, and to model vulnerability that breaks generational patterns.

If you’ve ever wondered how to show up when you feel unworthy or how to heal when you’re angry at the past, this story offers both empathy and a way forward. Listen, share with someone who needs hope, and if this hits home, subscribe and leave a review so others can find it. Your presence matters more than your perfection.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to [email protected] or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
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A quiet ranch, a heavy truth, and a voice brave enough to carry both. Lindy returns to share the story of her husband Jeff—a state trooper, a protector, and a man undone by untreated PTSD—and how a culture of silence can turn pain into catastrophe. We walk through the slow burn of cumulative trauma: first-on-scene moments that never leave, sleep that never restores, and the fear that asking for help will cost a badge. The conversation is raw but guided by purpose: surface the signs, remove the shame, and make room for action.

Lindy recounts the night everything changed with heartbreaking clarity—control, speed, fragmented questions, and then the words “It’s too late for that.” 

If you’re a firefighter, officer, EMT, or dispatcher sitting in silence, hear this without varnish: the world is not better without you. Therapy is wisdom, not weakness. Faith can anchor you, but you also need peers and professionals who normalize help. We close with hope—stories like Lindy’s can change culture.

If this conversation resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help others find these lifelines. And if you need a voice on the other end, reach out. We will call you back.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to [email protected] or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
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Youtube: @1042project
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Bright skies at the ranch set a sharp contrast to the truth we explore with guest Lindy Brown: the weight a first responder carries doesn’t stay at work. Lindy is the widow of an Iowa State Trooper who died by suicide. She shares why she felt called to speak, how a five-year slow burn of trauma changed her husband, and what families see long before reports or discipline ever show up. We talk openly about the nights that never end, the way alcohol masks pain, and the moment a prom night scuffle became a desperate signal that no one knew how to read.

I open up about my own spiral—pain pills, vodka, suicidal plans—and the lie that strength means silence. Together we break down what hypervigilance looks like at home, why small conflicts can spark explosive reactions, and how culture can unintentionally punish honesty. We dig into leadership responses, the hollow comfort of “leave it at the door,” and the reality that counseling offered without trust is counseling refused. Lindy explains how one horrific call—collecting the remains of a man struck by a semi in a storm—etched itself into Jeff’s mind. No academy prepares you for a five-gallon bucket and picking up human body parts.

This conversation isn’t about blame; it’s about building something better.  If you’re a first responder, a spouse, or a leader, you’ll hear practical insight, lived experience, and a clear path toward safer, braver conversations. Hit play, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and if this resonates, subscribe and leave a review so more families can find real help.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to [email protected] or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
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The laughter at the ranch fades when Breanna opens up about loving a first responder through an officer-involved shooting, postpartum turbulence, and the quiet exhaustion of being everyone’s caretaker. She didn’t grow up in the culture, but working in a jail gave her a front-row seat to stress. What she didn’t expect was how much of that stress would follow her home, how isolating the spouse role can be, and how quickly compassion can run dry when you never get to decompress.

We walked through the day, and everything changed. Breanna explains why healing isn’t a finish line; it’s a practice built from small habits that hold under pressure. The turning point came at an SOS retreat for significant others and spouses. She arrived ready to fix her husband and left with something harder and more hopeful: the courage to start with herself. That shift—owning needs, setting boundaries, and communicating clearly—reshaped their marriage and gave their kids a steadier home.

If you’re a first responder partner who feels invisible or stuck waiting for your loved one to “go first,” this conversation offers a map. We share practical tools for decompression, simple check-in rituals, and language that cuts through defensiveness. We also talk about building real community outside the department, from local spouse meetups to future retreats in the Midwest, so no one has to navigate trauma alone. Need support or resources?

 Breanna is available at [email protected] or 515-418-0350. If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help more families find their way back to solid ground.

Reach out to Breanna: [email protected] or 515-418-0350. No one walks alone

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to [email protected] or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
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The most honest conversations about culture don’t start with policy; they start with people. Assistant Director Sherry Poole and instructors Brooke McPherson and Naimah Saadiq invite us inside the Iowa Law Enforcement Academy to talk about what it really takes for women to thrive in a profession that’s been male‑dominated for decades. From day‑one nerves to front‑of‑room leadership, they share how visibility, mentorship, and clear boundaries change the learning environment and, ultimately, the way officers show up for their communities.

Sherry traces the distance from 1987, when being a woman at the academy felt isolating, to today’s growing representation. Brooke unpacks the subtle biases that still show up in training and on calls: the “I’ve got this” takeover, the “don’t strain yourself” babying, and how both can stall growth. Naimah explains the power of mindset, class leadership, and role models who make room for the human side of the job: uniforms that need to fit real bodies, instruction that respects anatomy and recovery, and a safe place to ask questions that once felt off‑limits.

We also get candid about motherhood, pregnancy, and policy. What does fair light duty look like when a pregnant sergeant is stripped of her title? How do two‑officer households juggle court dates, overnight shifts, and childcare without burning out? The team offers practical fixes, protect rank on light duty, budget for gear changes without shame, normalize pumping and recovery, build formal mentorship, and a reframe on coping that goes beyond alcohol to fitness, creativity, and community. If you care about officer wellness, de‑escalation, and retention, this is the blueprint for change that actually sticks.

If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with a colleague, and leave a quick review. Your feedback helps more listeners find real talk that makes policing better.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to [email protected] or call 515-350-6274
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The patrol car might be quiet, but your brain isn’t—bills, overtime slots, and that sinking feeling when the card declines. We went back inside the Academy to sit with finance officer Jack Heuton and get honest about money, mental health, and the hidden costs of “I’ll just pick up more shifts.” This is a conversation about readiness that starts at home: when your base needs are secure, training lands better, sleep runs deeper, and relationships stop fraying at the edges.

Jack breaks down a practical, three-prong plan that works in real life: understand and manage your credit without letting it manage you, track every dollar so denial can’t hide in the margins, and choose a debt payoff method that fuels behavior change. We unpack why an emergency fund is the single best fight-stopper in a marriage, how dopamine purchases and gambling apps exploit trauma and fatigue, and why most of us try to “out-overtime” our spending—only to miss the moments we say matter most. The stories are raw, the examples familiar: toys that collect dust because you’re never off, arguments that start with a swipe, and the quiet repair work of choosing presence over more pay.

We also push forward: joint accountability instead of “my money vs. your money,” spending thresholds that require a quick check-in, and retirement planning that begins before 40 steals your compounding. Know your pension, your Social Security timeline, and the inflation reality that waits downrange. Even small, automated contributions can buy future calm, fewer late-career overtime hours, and a life with more choice. If faith anchors you, align your budget with what you value most; generosity and stewardship can steady the heart where numbers alone can’t.

Hit play if you’re ready to trade chaos for clarity—one tracked expense, one paid-off balance, one honest conversation at a time. If this helped, follow the show, share it with a teammate, and leave a quick review so more first responders can find tools that stick.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to [email protected] or call 515-350-6274
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What does it really take to turn a class of recruits into grounded, ethical, and resilient officers in just 16 weeks? We go inside the Iowa Law Enforcement Academy with Director Brady Carney, Chaplain Al Perez, and Attorney Kristi Traynor to unpack the systems, choices, and human stories that shape a residential academy’s culture. The conversation begins with agile leadership—how the team runs on 16-week cycles, listens to instructors, and pivots quickly. That iterative approach blends national standards with local realities across urban and rural departments, ensuring training stays current and practical without losing the human touch.

From there, we dive into the lived experience of a residential model: the distance from family, the pressure that exposes blind spots, and the bonds that form when people from 18 to 51 years old share long days and shared quarters. Christy’s “superhero cape” metaphor reframes ethics as daily practice—tightening the knot through clear boundaries, sound decision-making, and accountability that preserves public trust. We address tough truths head-on: alcohol’s easy grip in first responder culture, the slow erosion that begins with “one more drink,” and the line between support and consequence. Al highlights grief and compartmentalization—how recruits learn to focus under stress while still finding space to heal, with chaplaincy and peer support as anchors.

We also explore practical scaffolding that keeps recruits connected and grounded: earned nights out to recharge with family, facility access and wellness resources, evening windows for calls, and social updates that bring loved ones into the journey. Brady wrestles openly with whether locals should go home nightly and why the benefits of a residential cohort—networking, realism, flexibility for night training—still weigh heavily. Not everyone will finish, and that’s okay. Sometimes choosing out is a courageous win for the person and the profession. For those who stay, the academy’s promise is high standards, honest feedback, and a community that invests in both skill and character. Subscribe, share this conversation with someone starting the academy path, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway—we’d love to hear what surprised you most.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to [email protected] or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
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