In this podcast, which is episode two of a two-part series, Dr. Stein walks us through his list, How to Become Your Own Best Friend. This is one of our favorite essays from Dr. Stein which is saying a great deal given the depth and breadth of his wisdom.

In last week’s episode, we covered items focused on expanding our horizons to become both interesting and interested, making mistakes, self-compassion and advocating for ourselves and not overthinking things.

We continue in the vein of standing up for ourselves with do not explain, excuse or apologize because you believe someone else expects this. Dr. Stein walks us through this difficult but essential practice of being secure enough to stand our ground and also to say “no.”

One of my favorite phrases is from Roshi Joan Halifix – strong back, soft front. In that vein, we move to talk about Dr. Stein’s instruction that we allow love and kindness to emanate from our beings. This one is my personal favorite because I spent years surfing in my father’s wake of goodness. When we do the work to see others around us like the grocery clerks and people we pass by, and greet them warmly, we not only change the tenor in the air, but in ourselves as well.

And friends are always a benefit when we face disappointing and hard times. But Dr. Stein also explains that another way through is understanding that we’ll likely return to our set point after experiencing misfortune and unhappiness.

Dr. Stein says, “overcoming hardship will require a great deal of strength and willpower but it’s known we will return to our set point.”

This is a great episode full of the warm and wise advice of Dr. Stein. He proves an excellent guide past the pitfalls and into the fullness of a wonderful life. We know you’ll love it!

And if you haven’t already, read Dr. Stein’s complete list including my personal favorite, #29 “Empty your being of all your power, imagination, and grit. Use it up.” Also go back and listen to the first episode of Being Your Own Best Friend.

On a programming note, we will only be producing one more episode in 2023 after this one so that we can take a break for the holidays.

Episode 47 show notes

Dr. Gerald Stein's Blog: Dr. Gerald Stein

How to Become Your Own Best Friend by Dr. Gerald Stein

Other podcast episodes with Dr. Stein:

Episode 46: Being Your Own Best Friend With Dr. Gerald Stein - Part I

Episode 37: The Waiting Game with Dr. Gerald Stein

Episode 29: Accidental Philanthropists with Dr. Gerald Stein

Episode 20: The Art of the Interview with Dr. Gerald Stein

Vicki’s recently released book: Surviving Sue

Wynne’s book about her beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

Wynne Leon is with co-host, Dr. Vicki Atkinson and psychologist and blogger, Dr. Gerald Stein. In this podcast, which is episode two of a two-part series, Dr. Stein walks us through his list, How to Become Your Own Best Friend. This is one of our favorite essays from Dr. Stein which is saying a great deal given the depth and breadth of his wisdom.

He opens the list with the question, “Who is the person closest to you?” If we are going to be our own best friend, how do we start?

Dr. Stein suggests that we start from by being good company. If we expand our interests, push our boundaries, and investigate new ideas, we can fill up from the inside out.

And when we grow, we will sometimes makes mistakes. Dr. Stein beautifully expands on his instruction that “Mistakes are inevitable. Master them. Please take steps to skip over their repetition.”

The next few instructions that Dr. Stein offers center around knowing our own place and value in relationship to others. His beautifully communicated points about having limits, becoming independent and pursuing advice speak the balance of knowing how to advocate for ourselves. If we are truly our own best friend, would we stick up for ourselves more?

I know one thing that my friends consistently help me with is with the timing of life. Dr. Stein exhorts us to be in the game of life and not to overthink. This gem of an instruction, especially paired with the others, speaks of being active participants in the events of life.

This is a great episode full of the warm and wise advice of Dr. Stein. He proves an excellent guide past the pitfalls and into the fullness of a wonderful life. We know you’ll love it!

And then come back next week for the second episode of Being Your Own Best Friend.

On a programming note, we will only be producing two more episodes in 2023 after this one so that we can take a break for the holidays.

Links for this episode:

Episode 46 show notes

Dr. Gerald Stein's Blog: Dr. Gerald Stein

How to Become Your Own Best Friend by Dr. Gerald Stein

Other podcast episodes with Dr. Stein:

Episode 37: The Waiting Game with Dr. Gerald Stein

Episode 29: Accidental Philanthropists with Dr. Gerald Stein

Episode 20: The Art of the Interview with Dr. Gerald Stein

Vicki’s recently released book: Surviving Sue

Wynne’s book about her beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

In this episode, Wynne Leon is with co-host, Dr. Vicki Atkinson, and we are talking about the courage to keep trying.

We open the podcast with some laughter about some silly stories with my kids where I’ve made mistakes. And it paves the way for a deep conversation about risk-taking, trying new things, and the journey to be

I share with Vicki some of the disappointment that I felt on her behalf when reading her book, “Surviving Sue” because Sue never saw her. We talked about how she armored up from an early age with Sue because of the

But even through the low expectations, Vicki kept on showing up in order to care for Lisa and for Sue. So what did she learn about armor, vulnerability, and control? Vicki shares with us the wisdom of her toolkit for surviving disappointment, regardless of the source, by following her body cues and knowing that she can take back control.

We talk about all the lessons we’ve learned the hard way – and that the take-away is while it feels natural to try avoid being hurt, we opt for continuing to take risks. We dig in to the question of “what if I don’t?” that can be a great motivator.

And Vicki turns the tables on me for taking on the risk to

In this episode, we talk about how to switch out of

Disappointment isn’t easy but when you know that others have gone through it and see you, it makes the trip so much easier. Please risk a half hour of your time – you won’t be disappointed! In fact, we know you’ll

P.S. The mention of Cooper in this episode refers to Wynne's new puppy.

Episode 42 show notes

Vicki’s personal blog: Victoria Ponders

Wynne’s personal blog: Surprised by Joy

Vicki’s recently released book: Surviving Sue

Wynne’s book about her beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

In this episode, Wynne Leon is with co-host, Dr. Vicki Atkinson, and her delightful daughter, Miss O.

Miss O shares a personal narrative that she's written as an assignment in 3rd grade. And then she tells us what a hook is and what she’s learned about drawing in an audience by using one. She fills us in on lessons that she’s been taught about adding details to her writing.

Another assignment she is working on in class is a piece of short fiction. Miss O tells us how she envisioned her main character, a piece of cute food, and teases us with a short summary about her story. Boy, do I have a lot to learn from her about how to deliver an elevator pitch for my writing.

So far, third grade has been full of interesting writing

Miss O gently takes Vicki and I to task for some side

Finally we wrap up by talking about all the creative

This is a fun episode filled with the enthusiasm and delight of youth. Miss O is someone I learn from on a regular basis and I think you will too. Please listen for inspiration and for some sweet smiles – we know you’ll

Episode 45 show notes

In this episode of the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, Wynne Leon is with co-host, Dr. Vicki Atkinson, and writer and author, Brian Hannon. Brian is one of our colleagues on the Heart of the Matter blog and we love the inspiration he brings forward about writing and creativity on a regular basis. In this case, it was an article on Writer’s Digest by Sierra Godfrey entitled, 4 Ways to Write Complicated Families.

Oh boy. What family isn’t complicated? So we get Brian to talk about Sierra’s four points: pair the darkness with humor, use character imperfections, leave room for characters to grow, and have empathy.

The great thing about having good source material and a great writer to comment on it is that it adds up to a fantastic conversation about how to actually do it. Brian talks about writing about family members, whether in personal narratives or in fiction, from a three-dimensional viewpoint. We dig into the humor of Vicki’s book Surviving Sue as an example of how to lighten up the load that came with Sue’s dysfunction.

Brian asks me a great question about my book, Finding My Father’s Faith that is based on conversations that I had with my dad. Could we have talked in-depth about life, religion and spirituality ten years earlier than we did? Nope, because as Parker J. Palmer says, “The inner life of any great thing will be incomprehensible to me until I develop and deepen an inner life of my own.” I wouldn’t have been able to have those conversations until I was ready.

Timing is such a key to writing about family and the three of us talk about it. Vicki brings up the readiness factor – that we have to have done enough work in order to be able to follow Sierra Godfrey’s points to write full characters.

And through it all we affirm all that writing can do for us, especially when dealing with complicated characters and family. Brian borrows from Jerry Maguire, “It completes me.” We get to work through our stuff, leave room for our own growth as a character in the story, all the while leaving a story so that others know they aren’t alone.

This is a great episode about great tips that comes with writing about all the facets of family. We know you’ll love it.

Episode 44 show notes

Brian’s personal blog: Writing from the Heart with Brian

Sierra Godfrey article on Writer's Digest: 4 Ways to Write Complicated Families

Vicki’s recently released book: Surviving Sue

Wynne’s book about her beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

In this episode, Wynne Leon is with co-host, Dr. Vicki Atkinson, and blogger, Deb Tecca. Deb is one of our colleagues on the Heart of the Matter blog and we’ve loved her take on growth, acceptance, and personal evolution.

So we ask her about her courageous writing and she explains how she’s come to see it more as reclaiming herself. After growing up in the shadow of her mom’s blame, Deb finds she’s had a voice all along that she’s worked her way back to. Being courageous enough…pushing fear to the wayside….to allow the space for authenticity - Deb’s heart, soul and spirit. Her own voice.  The essence that is Deb.

We ask Deb about a recent description that our mutual colleague, Erin wrote about Deb and her blog, Closer to the Edge. In that description Erin encapsulates all that Deb writes about – kindness, community, family and trends. Then Erin sums it up with a description of Deb as “feisty and self-assured, yet kind and understanding.” Deb responds to that summary with a virtual hug for Erin – for seeing the glory in Deb’s feisty demeanor – a badge of courage and confidence from a dear blogging friend.  Sometimes our friends see our strengths before we do.

Vicki and I ask Deb about the courage to write about family when life was anything but sunshine and rainbows.  We ask about Deb’s process as she writes and true to form, our amazing, contemplative and thoughtful Deb tells us that long before she writes, her thoughts begin to take shape in her head and only then do words come together.   

And one of Deb’s strengths?  She’s a terrific listener, commenter, and thoughtful human.  She often writes what others might be thinking, contributing to conversations with depth and perspective. We laugh about the moments when Deb thinks she gone on a ‘rant’ and applaud her for knowing how to tailor her messages and points of view to provide input and insight.  If that’s a ‘rant’ – we love it. 

We ask Deb about her ‘secret sauce’ for prioritizing what matters most and in addition to her meal planning and love of nature, Deb’s picked up a few tried-and-true tricks that we know will resonate with listeners.  If they’re good enough for Deb, they’re great for the rest of us!   One of the tricks Deb has learned is to say “no.” So we are so grateful that Deb said “yes” to us to create this beautiful podcast. We know you’ll love it.

We've added transcript to our podcasts. See the link below.

Episode 43 show notes

Episode 43 transcript (provided by Otter AI): Reclaiming_Oneself_With_Deb_Tecca.pdf

Deb's blog: Closer to the Edge

Deb's post about reclaiming herself: Reclaiming Myself

Rooted: Life at the Crossroads of Science, Nature and Spirit by Lyanda Lynn Haupt

Are you ready for some spooky talk? In this episode of the podcast, Wynne Leon is with co-host, Dr. Vicki Atkinson, and we are back with author and blogger, Mark Petruska. We hope you are ready for some fun because Mark has a story to tell  -- a spine-tingling paranormal tale if ever there was one!

Mark holds NOTHING back as he regales us with the disconcerting details about his night of inexplicable sights, sounds and sensations from a real-life haunted house.  We feed our inner “Ghost Busters” as Mark tells us about the technology that his friend, Steven, a professional ghost hunter, used in the investigation.

Note – there is a one sentence glancing mention of some trauma that purportedly happened to a young girl in the story.

But In between shivers and shakes, Vicki and Wynne chime in about a couple of our own head-scratcher experiences that might, like Mark’s ghost hunting, point to mysteries beyond our realm. 

Mark confesses – he’s really a skeptic at heart and his night in a haunted house changed him, and his view about the paranormal forever.  Calm and deliberate, Mark breaks down all the creepy events and we were simply awe-struck. The fact that one of the inhabitants was a police officer, looking out for his dear mom who was terrified and besieged in her own house adds an extra spooky glow to the story. 

This is an episode you will love…but maybe keep the lights on?  Listening to Mark – whether he’s talking about his ghostly adventure or his thriller of a book, No Time for Kings,  will entrance you.  Almost literally…..bwah ha…ha…ha.

Make sure you listen until the very end when we ask Mark the million-dollar question about his conclusions and beliefs – after his experience as a real-life ghost buster.  You will love his answer…we know it.  

So, ENTER this podcast IF YOU DARE….Who Ya Gonna Call? Mark Petruska!

Confronting Her Demons HoTM blog post by Mark

Mark’s Blog: Mark My Words

⁠No Time for Kings⁠ by Mark Petruska – a fantastic eco-thriller!

In this episode, Wynne Leon is with my co-host, Dr. Vicki Atkinson, and they are talking about choice and Wynne's journey to parenthood.

Following up on the question a pre-school teacher asked Wynne about how she became a parent, she shares the story of how she started a family as a single person. From the fertility clinic doctor who laid out all the options for getting pregnant as a 45-year-old single woman to some of the interesting facts I learned about in-vitro fertilization along the way, she share the answers that are part of my process.

With Vicki as a trusted guide, we talk about the role that agency and self-determination played in not only choosing to have kids but also as a part of parenting. Wynne often call the power of choice my secret for digging deep on the days that she doesn’t have enough in the tank. Knowing that she's living the life that she's chosen and doing it her own way gives Wynne the extra charge to step it up and also be so grateful for the life that she has.

In this vulnerable podcast, Wynne reveals the fears that I’ve had to work through to become a single parent. How she knew that she was opening herself up to the opinions of others when it comes to building family in a non-traditional way and how those opinions have sometimes been surprising. We talk about Brene Brown and Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Journey and how sometimes getting to where we need to go has to pass directly through the heart of vulnerability.

Wynne's often written about intertwined the cycle of birth and death was for me. She wrote my book about her dear father in the wake of his sudden death in a bicycle accident almost nine years ago as she was pregnant with Miss O. Vicki teases out the lessons that Wynne gleaned from her dad's special sparkle that Wynne uses in parenting. His specialties of love, curiosity, openness and faith directly come to play as Wynne navigates trying to parent my two precious kids.

And then we end with an incredible question that Vicki asks about what advice Wynne would give to her previous self to guide her through this journey to parenthood that I’ve gone on. It makes Wynne cry to think of all that I’ve gone through in the last ten years, and all the support she's had from family and friends. She talk through some of the quotes and inspiration that have kept her inspired along the way.

This is a deeply personal and wonderfully warm episode about what it looks like when we flip our scripts from fear to love and walk our individual paths through life – and the blessing of great company along the way. We know you’ll love it!

Episode 40 show notes

Vicki’s personal blog: Victoria Ponders

Wynne’s personal blog: Surprised by Joy

Vicki’s recently released book: Surviving Sue

Wynne’s book about her beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

In this episode of the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast where we bring you talented creatives who inspired you to reach your next level of personal growth, Wynne Leon is with my co-host, Dr. Vicki Atkinson, and blogger, and musician Michelle Oram.

Finding out how people came to blogging is so fascinating. So we dig into what brought Michelle to blogging four years ago. But more interesting than that – is why people stay. Michelle tells us how her mission of sustainability has evolved over time.

Michelle’s professional life focuses on retirement so it’s fitting that the book that she plans on writing when she retires is on that topic. But she tells us that it’s not usual topics of identity and purpose that she plans on tackling but instead on the systems of retirement and how to navigate them.

We know it’ll be a great book and that she will do it. Because anyone that reads Michelle’s blog knows she has a great track record of working towards goals. She manifests accountability on her blog and monthly round-up. In this episode, she tells us how that works for her. And then we dig into her current focus – her 60 before 60 goals. Guess what? Podcasting is one of them so Vicki and I find out if being on our podcast counts.

Music is another theme that is interwoven into Michelle’s life. She tells us the story about how she came to sing for a band that performs regularly and the fun and zest that brings into her life.

Determined. Driven. Interesting. Fun. Michelle shows us how those four traits come together with creativity to build a full life.

This is a great episode featuring a writer that we know and love. It’s so much fun to see what goes into this Renaissance Woman.   We know you’ll love it!

Episode 39 show notes

Michelle's blog: Boomer Eco Crusader

In this episode, Wynne Leon is with co-host, Dr. Vicki Atkinson, and musician, writer, blogger, and retired educator, Todd Fulginiti talking about the great new music he’s recorded and released as Jazz on King, volume 1. Centered on the ongoing gig he has with his two fellow musicians, Dave Winter and Dave Santana, Todd talks about the recording process – the low-stress way they recorded it for themselves. Then the step away they took from the project after recording it, and now the release.

We find out what it’s like to have music as a family affair since Todd’s daughters, Bailey and Ally both contributed to this album and collaborate with him on their yearly music project to raise money for a good cause.

Having an interested curator of our art is always so helpful so we learn about Bill Speakman, the manager of the live venue where the Fulginiti trio plays bi-weekly. And then Bill also comes in as a sort of producer of this album.

Because Todd is multi-talented and can write as well as he plays, we dig into the blog post he wrote about finding his way to the style of music that he likes to play after years of both practicing and teaching music. He’s built on what he learned from his father-in-law to hone a style where less is more. I know you’ll be as fascinated and inspired by Todd, and his less notes and more space style as Vicki and I were.

We talk about the particulars of trying to make money as a musician, especially in the digital streaming era. Todd fills us in on what licensing and formats require and how that dove-tails with performing live.

This is a great episode about great music and the interesting and complex choice creatives have to make when releasing their art to the world. We know you’ll love it!

Episode 38 show notes

Todd site where you can listen to the album and find out more: Todd Fulginiti Music

The album review page: Jazz on King Vol. 1 Album Reviews

Todd's Wise and Shine post about the album release: My New Album Releases Today!

Todd's Wise & Shine post about finding his playing style: Why Did I Say That?