Shazad and Uqbah continue with the fake match reports but Uqbah’s vitriolic annihilation of Liverpool Football Club is very genuine. Furlough yourself into the Football Room for other delights such as the ‘Flash in the Pan’ Premier League XI.

Day 6 of the Lockdown and Shazad and Uqbah go through their ‘All Time Muzlamic Premier League XI’. Plenty for listeners (and PREVENT officers) to mull over. Wolves’ mauling of the Cherries is also dissected.

Shazad and Uqbah socially distance themselves from any quality broadcasting by doing another episode from their separate football rooms. Listen for their All Time Premier League XI, and dark and dangerous tales from supermarkets - along with made-up match reports for games that got cancelled.

Spurs sadness drags us to the depth of self-isolating as Wasim calls in to lament the Mourinho Horror Show. We discuss how we think the Premier League will resolve itself and how all our achievements, including GCSE and A-Level results, should be null and void because Karen Brady says so.

Altaf the Arsenal fan displayed his disdain over the phone for all things Liverpool (Allah forgive him) as we discuss all the league and cup action from the week. Arteta’s ‘Asian uncle at a wedding’ dress sense is also discussed in detail.

Nigel ‘Dances With Wolves’ Pearson stops the Liverpool juggernaut. Bayern crush Chelsea like pistachio to be sprinkled on ras-malai. We discuss the Premier League Hall of Fame and Shazad recalls the lyrics to 1996 FA Cup song ‘Pass and Move (It’s the Liverpool Groove)’.

After a hiatus, Uqbah and Shazad give their take on 236 fixtures interspersed with stories from Alum Rock and Sparkhill. Uqbah kills Shazad with another quiz and their shared fear of a half-man-half-wolf Nigel Pearson.

This week’s episode discusses why there aren’t more Asian (Pakistani, Bangladeshi & Indian) footballers in the Premier League, Man City’s FFP woes, Alisson Becker appreciation, and the hardest quiz known to mankind. Also, an isolated case of specific Arsenal fan hatred towards Liverpool.

Shazad & Uqbah dissect the devalued FA Cup, overweight footballers, Liverpool's basis for success, and an objectionable tackle in the Oxford - Newcastle game. Shazad gets 'finished' in the football quiz because of a Finnish false 9 from 2001-2002 he didn't remember.

Shazad & Uqbah pick apart the transfer window, Liverpool's procession to the title (Inshallah x3), and how Kepa Arrizabalaga is George Costanza pretending he hasn't been dropped. Also, Sparkhill chip shop story and a moving farewell to Sir Nicholas Parsons (God rest him).

Episode recorded 2nd February 2020.