She+ Geeks Out Podcast

May the Fourth and Carrie Fisher's Hollywood Star [00:01:32] Felicia and Rachel discuss the significance of May the Fourth and Carrie Fisher getting her Hollywood star.

Introduction to a Special Episode [00:02:08] Felicia introduces a special episode where SGO facilitators talk about how facilitation seeps into their everyday lives and the emotional labor it takes to do this work.

Strategies to Avoid Burnout [00:03:01] The SGO facilitators discuss strategies on how to turn off facilitator mode and continue to do this important work without burning out.

Introduction [00:03:14] The three SGO facilitators, Fatima, Rachel, and Kaya, introduce themselves and talk about their excitement to take over the podcast.

Defining Facilitation [00:05:19] Fatima defines facilitation as a skill that involves guiding or directing a group of individuals towards a common goal or objective. Rachel and Kaya add that facilitation is about taking people on a learning journey and helping them get to their end goal.

Emotional Labor [00:07:49] The speakers discuss the emotional labor that comes with facilitating difficult conversations and how it affects them as individuals with marginalized identities.

Self-Awareness [00:09:35] The importance of self-awareness for facilitators is highlighted, as it helps them navigate triggering situations and hold space for others. They also mention a Twitter page called "ish" that pokes fun at common facilitator sayings.

Political Landscape [00:07:49] The political landscape is mentioned as a factor that adds to the emotional labor of facilitation, as it feels like the work is being attacked. The speakers also touch on the difficulty of being palatable for others while still being true to oneself.

Emotional Labor [00:10:33] The speakers discuss the emotional labor that comes with facilitation, including the need to take breaks and support oneself before, during, and after workshops.

Potatoing [00:12:36] The speakers talk about the concept of "potatoing" as a form of self-care after facilitation, which involves taking time to rest and ground oneself in emotions.

May the Fourth and Carrie Fisher [not mentioned in the timestamps] The speakers briefly mention Star Wars Day (May the Fourth) and Carrie Fisher getting her Hollywood star.

Potato Wing [00:13:23] Facilitation strategies to improve reactions and presentation skills, and the emotional labor involved in in-person workshops.

Self-Care for Facilitators [00:14:27] The emotional and intellectual expenditure of facilitation, and the importance of self-care and taking breaks.

Passionate Facilitation [00:15:22] The importance of naming and making real the impacts of oppressive systems, and the need for breaks and self-care during passionate facilitation.

Taking Breaks in Facilitation [00:16:07] The speakers discuss the importance of taking breaks in facilitation and teaching to avoid cognitive dizziness and burnout.

Normalizing Human Experiences [00:18:02] The speakers talk about the need to prioritize and normalize human experiences and breaks in all spaces, including facilitation and personal lives.

Discussing Anger as an Emotion [00:18:49] The speakers briefly mention a personal experience of discussing whether anger is a negative emotion in a gym setting.

Facilitating Conversations in the Gym [00:19:52] Speaker 3 shares a story about facilitating a conversation in the gym about whether anger is a negative emotion.

Facilitating Friend Conversations [00:21:27] Speaker 4 talks about how she finds herself facilitating conversations with friends and family, and how it can be emotionally taxing.

Difficulties of Facilitating Conversations Outside of Work [00:22:16] Speaker 4 discusses the challenges of facilitating conversations outside of work, including navigating difficult topics with friends who don't share similar identities.

Suppressing Anger [00:23:08] The speakers discuss how they have learned to suppress their anger as a child and how it affects their facilitation work and personal relationships.

Controlling Emotions [00:24:59] The speakers talk about how their culture and religion have been used to control emotions, particularly anger, and how they have learned to hold space for their anger and use it as a force for change.

Facilitating Anger [00:26:34] The speakers discuss how they deal with their own anger while in the facilitator role and whether they process it in the moment or talk to their therapist about it later.

Facilitation and Anger Management [00:26:57] The speaker talks about how she channels her anger during workshops and how it is easier to have conversations about isms with strangers than with family and friends.

Personal Space and Boundaries [00:29:26] The speaker talks about the importance of establishing boundaries in personal relationships and how it can be tricky to have tough conversations with people you care about.

Facilitation in Personal Life [00:30:25] The speakers discuss how they navigate difficult conversations with family and friends, and the challenges of applying facilitation skills in personal life.

Challenges of Facilitating in Private Life [00:30:50] The speakers talk about the difficulties of facilitating conversations in private life, where people may not have the same language and tools for communication.

Strategies for Facilitating in Personal Life [00:32:23] The speakers discuss the emotional labor of facilitating conversations with family and friends, and the need to balance holding space for others while also taking care of oneself.

Facilitation as Emotional Labor [00:32:53] The team discusses the emotional labor involved in facilitation and how it seeps into their everyday lives, making it difficult to turn off.

Involving a Third Party [00:32:53-00:34:10] The team talks about involving a third party, such as a therapist or a skilled friend, to hold space during difficult conversations and prevent burnout.

Family Meetings and Cultural Interpretations [00:35:01] The team member shares her experience with family meetings and how cultural interpretations can affect the dynamics of the conversation.

Boundaries and Language [00:37:37] The difficulty of translating the concept of boundaries to immigrant families and the importance of giving people the language they need to love and hold space for each other.

Facilitation Strategies for Family Meetings [00:35:53] The speaker shares their experience of using facilitation tools and strategies to improve family meetings, including creating an agenda and checking in on emotions before jumping into business.

Emotional Labor and Relationships [00:38:22] The speaker discusses the emotional labor involved in maintaining relationships with family members and the importance of understanding and communication in these relationships.

Facilitation in everyday life [00:39:06] The team discusses how facilitation strategies seep into everyday life, such as humanizing conversations and putting oneself in someone else's shoes.

Importance of boundaries [00:40:57] The team emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and naming what one needs, especially in a facilitator, teacher, or coach capacity.

Grief and setting boundaries [00:40:57] The team briefly touches on the emotional labor and grief that comes with setting boundaries, which is an important aspect of facilitation work.

Setting Boundaries [00:41:55] The speakers discuss the challenges of setting boundaries and accepting the frustration that comes with it, as well as the difficulty of making peace with not being understood.

Grieving Unmet Needs [00:43:11] The speakers talk about the emotional labor of naming their needs and how it feels when those needs are not met, including the need to grieve the loss of connection with the person who cannot meet those needs.

Using Boundaries Mindfully [00:43:55] The speakers discuss the potential harm of using concepts like boundaries and naming in a negative way, and the importance of continuing the conversation with loved ones after setting boundaries while also respecting oneself.

Facilitation and Boundaries [00:45:16] The speakers discuss how boundaries can be taken too far and the importance of evaluating if they are doing too much. They also talk about the continuous work of relationships and the need to humanize each other.

Healing Journey and Pendulum [00:47:46] The speakers talk about the pendulum effect in healing journeys and how people swing from one extreme to the other. They also mention therapy language and the importance of setting boundaries without being toxic.

TikTok and Social Media [00:46:54] The speakers briefly mention TikTok and how it can be overwhelming. They also talk about the great things on the platform and how they prefer to have someone send them recommendations.

Facilitation and Therapy Talking Points [00:48:35] The speakers discuss the difficulty of communicating with others about unhealthy relationships and suggest that therapists could provide talking points to help.

Boundaries and Toxicity [00:49:28] The speakers talk about how setting boundaries does not make someone toxic and how it is important to respect others' boundaries.

Wrap Up and Podcast Plugs [00:51:12] The hosts thank the guests for their insights on facilitation and plug some upcoming events.

Upcoming Webinars [00:51:36] Felicia talks about the upcoming webinars on DEI work that their team does, including one on pronouns in May and one on anti-Asian sentiment in June.

10th Anniversary Party [00:52:15] Rachel announces the 10th anniversary party of their first event in June 2013, which will be held at Yvonne's in Boston, and encourages people to sign up for it.

Leading DEI Conversations [00:53:03] Rachel and Felicia mention the upcoming round of Leading DEI Conversations, a public program happening in the summer, and encourage people to sign up for their newsletter to stay updated.

Visit us at InclusionGeeks.com to stay up to date on all the ways you can make the workplace work for everyone! Check out Inclusion Geeks Academy and InclusionGeeks.com/podcast for the code to get a free mini course.

We delve into Elissa's personal journey and how she became the fabulous author, teacher, and editor that she is today. We also discuss her book, which highlights how women can get very sick and cannot get properly diagnosed or treated due to systems designed for men. We talk about the power of using one's voice as a woman, and how societal systems play a significant role in suppressing it.

We also have some fun questions for Elissa, including her current obsession with Survivor and her favorite ways to practice self-care. Elissa also shares her favorite books, including Vagina Obscura, Permission to Speak, and Under the Skin.

In our wrap-up, we ask Elissa some insightful questions about her book, including whether all her health concerns resolved after writing it or if some of them lingered due to the ever-presence of patriarchy. We also discuss the importance of naming things, and how it can help women loosen their hold on them. Lastly, we talk about how women can ease out of their silence and make space for the sounds of their voices when there is safety in silence.

Visit us at InclusionGeeks.com to stay up to date on all the ways you can make the workplace work for everyone! Check out Inclusion Geeks Academy and InclusionGeeks.com/podcast for the code to get a free mini course.

Well, aren't you in for a treat! We spoke with the incomparable Dr. Erika Powell, a wonderful friend of SGO's, personally and professionally. We weAlso, some quick news! We're going on a pod break until the new year. If you miss us, you can always find us hanging out in the Rise Together community or on LinkedIn!re a little silly, and within that silliness, some brilliant gems of knowledge were shared. If you enjoy this half as much as we did recording it, you're golden. Don't miss it!

Also, some quick news! We're going on a pod break until the new year. If you miss us, you can always find us hanging out in the Rise Together community or on LinkedIn!

Visit us at InclusionGeeks.com to stay up to date on all the ways you can make the workplace work for everyone! Check out Inclusion Geeks Academy and InclusionGeeks.com/podcast for the code to get a free mini course.

Learn more about Amaia!

Visit us at InclusionGeeks.com to stay up to date on all the ways you can make the workplace work for everyone! Check out Inclusion Geeks Academy and InclusionGeeks.com/podcast for the code to get a free mini course.

Contributors to this episode are:

• Dr. Erika Powell, DEI and Leadership Consultant and Coach
• Dr. Victoria Verlezza, DEI Facilitator at She+ Geeks Out
• Fatima Dainkeh, Staff DEI Programs & Training Manager at She+ Geeks Out
• Himaja Nimmagadda, Women's Institute for Science, Equity and Race
• Karina Becerra, Director, Customer Advocacy at Podium
• Kia Rivera, DEI Facilitator at She+ Geeks Out
• Naomi Seddon, Author and International Lawyer

Visit us at InclusionGeeks.com to stay up to date on all the ways you can make the workplace work for everyone! Check out Inclusion Geeks Academy and InclusionGeeks.com/podcast for the code to get a free mini course.