She Handled It! with Arwen Becker

It's one thing to quit when things just get hard. It's another to surrender when things become cruel and abusive. Through Arwen's experience playing Division 1 volleyball, she realized firsthand that surrendering is different than quitting. It's about self-respect. It's about having people treat one the way that one truly ought to be treated.

Arwen gave up her scholarships to follow a boy who was playing baseball at the University of Washington, where she watched her teammates' bodies collapse under severe stress and strain due to intense, hours-long workouts. When she was given misguided advice from a head trainer to tell her coach what was happening, their relationship changed for the worse, as he seemed to get sick joy from making her life miserable.

Ultimately, Arwen had to walk away at the pinnacle of her career to avoid further mental and emotional abuse by someone who was supposed to appreciate her. Today's story is about when enough is enough, how to escape places of deep pain, and how to get help as you work to turn a toxic situation into something better.

Overcomer Playlist Recommendation

Warrior - Hannah Kerr

Pearls of Wisdom

• Why validation and worth cannot come from another human being, but only from God.
• Why you have to be so careful about the advice you get.
• The difference between quitting and surrendering.

Show Notes

To get access to the full show notes, including links to all the resources mentioned, visit LifeWithArwen.com/10

Get The Book!

• She Handled It, So Can You!: An Inspiring and Empowering Financial Guide for Women

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Rate & Review

If you enjoyed today's episode of She Handled It, hit the subscribe button in Apple Podcasts, (or wherever you listen) so future episodes are automatically downloaded directly to your device.

You can also help by providing an honest rating & review over on Apple Podcasts. Reviews go a long way in helping us build awareness so that we can impact even more people. THANK YOU!

"You'll never amount to anything" were the words spoken over Judy Hoberman throughout her youth. After telling her dad that she wanted to go to medical school to become a doctor, he took that information and instead enrolled her into a beauty contest, telling her "You have to win because all you are is pretty and you'll never amount to anything else."

Over the course of her career, Arwen was constantly striving to fit in with the boys - including her husband. She would ask herself "Am I not good enough?" However, she eventually realized that she didn't have to fit in, in order to be herself.

Then she met Judy Hoberman. Judy has spent much of her career shedding light on the differences between men and women in business. Men and women lead, sell, and manage very differently, and Judy empowers both of them to better support each other in more productive ways. She's a TEDx speaker, the author of multiple books, and an authority on women and leadership who has spoken to audiences of over 10,000.

Today, Judy joins the podcast to talk about the negative, life-altering messages we face as women - and how we can get past them once and for all.

Overcomer Playlist Recommendation

Lady Gaga - Born This Way

Pearls of Wisdom

• Why you should be generous with your time - and always kind.
• How to understand what your value is, what you really deserve, and never apologize for it.
• Why everyone needs a mentor.

Show Notes

To get access to the full show notes, including links to all the resources mentioned, visit LifeWithArwen.com/9

Get The Book!

• She Handled It, So Can You!: An Inspiring and Empowering Financial Guide for Women

Connect with Arwen Becker

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Rate & Review

If you enjoyed today's episode of She Handled It, hit the subscribe button in Apple Podcasts, (or wherever you listen) so future episodes are automatically downloaded directly to your device.

You can also help by providing an honest rating & review over on Apple Podcasts. Reviews go a long way in helping us build awareness so that we can impact even more people. THANK YOU!

After five girls beat her up and dozens of others just stood in observation, 16-year-old Amber Vilhauer knew something in her life had to change and ultimately, she was the one responsible for saving herself. Everyone can learn and grow from challenge and difficulty, but that growth simply has to come from within and Amber understands this all too well.

Amber knows what it feels like to be victimized and to play a role in one's victimization. Today, Amber joins the podcast to share the story of her difficult journey up from rock bottom at 16, finding the tools to save herself, and the hard things she learned from an extraordinarily traumatic experience in her life.

Amber is an online digital marketing expert who supports authors, speakers, and coaches as they create powerful, integrated online presences. At her agency, NGNG Enterprises (short for No Guts No Glory), she's supported over 1,000 entrepreneurs and helped launch books by authors including Mark Victor Hansen, Brendon Burchard, Lisa Nichols, and Les Brown.

Overcomer Playlist Recommendation

First Aid Kit - My Silver Lining

Pearls of Wisdom

• Why anyone can create anything - and why the work always has to start from within.
• What Amber does to put light and validation into every single conversation she has.
• Why everything we do each day is an opportunity to be the light and help people feel seen and valued.

Show Notes

To get access to the full show notes, including links to all the resources mentioned, visit LifeWithArwen.com/8

Get The Book!

• She Handled It, So Can You!: An Inspiring and Empowering Financial Guide for Women

Connect with Arwen Becker

• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Twitter

Rate & Review

If you enjoyed today's episode of She Handled It, hit the subscribe button in Apple Podcasts, (or wherever you listen) so future episodes are automatically downloaded directly to your device.

You can also help by providing an honest rating & review over on Apple Podcasts. Reviews go a long way in helping us build awareness so that we can impact even more people. THANK YOU!

Getting through the darkest and most difficult emotions in life isn't always about sheer force or brute strength. It's about reassurance, confidence, grace, and learning to use that darkness as a source of power. After having her second child and surviving two miscarriages, Cordelia Gaffar felt less like herself than ever before. Rather than go on antidepressants while nursing her daughter, she dove headfirst into nutrition, fitness, and spiritual practice on a journey to unload the weight of her emotions and get back to who she really was.

Today, Cordelia joins the podcast to talk about the trauma of her postpartum depression, finding relief without going on medication, and how to take back control of the chaos that surrounds us all in everyday life.

Cordelia is an Emotions Opener and Transformation Strategist who helps leaders lean into difficult emotions so they can show up powerfully. She is the best-selling co-author of America's Leading Ladies, as well as a new book about her signature Replenish Me Process coming later this year.

Overcomer Playlist Recommendation

Elevate - Amy True

Pearls of Wisdom

• Why relief comes from creating and embracing harmony in our lives, cultivating an environment of compassion and self-forgiveness, and how these techniques make us better humans, parents, and leaders.
• Why now is the time to release the need to do everything that's expected and accepted and reassess what your values are. Your self-compassion will radiate out into your household and beyond. When you create habits that honor your values, you create an environment for rebirth.

• How to approach your healing from a place of concern, compassion, and self-nurturing. It's time to stop focusing on doing things to take care of yourself and instead prioritize doing what will support you right now for the love of yourself and your children.

Show Notes

To get access to the full show notes, including links to all the resources mentioned, visit LifeWithArwen.com/7

Get The Book!

• She Handled It, So Can You!: An Inspiring and Empowering Financial Guide for Women

Connect with Arwen Becker

• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Twitter

Rate & Review

If you enjoyed today's episode of She Handled It, hit the subscribe button in Apple Podcasts, (or wherever you listen) so future episodes are automatically downloaded directly to your device.

You can also help by providing an honest rating & review over on Apple Podcasts. Reviews go a long way in helping us build awareness so that we can impact even more people. THANK YOU!

Being fired from her dream job ushered in the beginning of the end of Arwen's first marriage. Major confusion ensued as all she knew was unexpectedly and forcefully ripped away. From the time she was five, Arwen desired to work with wild animals and by the age of 20, that dream came true. She ran a wildlife care facility in charge of 300+ animals a day, one being a 110lb cougar named Sasha.

Today, Arwen is sharing the story of how she found (and lost) her dream job - and how this loss both ended her first marriage and led her to her business partner and second husband. You'll hear how she prepared for the unknown, let go of the past, and reinvented herself into a new season of life.

Overcomer Playlist Recommendation

You're Gonna Be Ok by Brian & Jenn Johnson

Pearls of Wisdom

• Why roadblocks are the exact detours we need to usher in the next phases of our destiny.
• Why you can prepare for the unknown - and why it takes planning and forethought.
• Why you need to be willing to let go of the past to get through your toughest challenges and reinvent yourself.

Show Notes

To get access to the full show notes, including links to all the resources mentioned, visit LifeWithArwen.com/6

Get The Book!

• She Handled It, So Can You!: An Inspiring and Empowering Financial Guide for Women

Connect with Arwen Becker

• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Twitter

Rate & Review

If you enjoyed today's episode of She Handled It, hit the subscribe button in Apple Podcasts, (or wherever you listen) so future episodes are automatically downloaded directly to your device.

You can also help by providing an honest rating & review over on Apple Podcasts. Reviews go a long way in helping us build awareness so that we can impact even more people. THANK YOU!

Through divorce, Sheryl Hickerson learned the hard way that a man is not a financial plan. After 25 years of marriage, and standing outside a Michael's Craft store, with her two grandson's hands in her own, her husband called to tell her the big news, "I don't want to be married to you anymore."

Sheryl is the founder of Females & Finance, a 3000-strong private membership dedicated to fostering recruitment, training, and advancement of women in financial services and financial technology roles.

Today, Sheryl joins the podcast to share what she's learned from her 30+ years in the financial services industry - including time spent working with other women who experience sudden divorce late in life, and how she's created a safe harbor to share their stories and give them permission to be who THEY want to be "when they grow up (a.k.a. NOW)!"

Overcomer Playlist Recommendation

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

Pearls of Wisdom

• Why making a man a financial plan simply doesn't work - and why so many women learn this the hard way after 25+ years of marriage.
• What Sheryl learned from interviewing hundreds of women about their experiences in financial services - and how it led her to start her membership.
• The three big financial takeaways from Sheryl's divorce - and why you absolutely need a trustworthy financial advisor to navigate your biggest decisions.
• How to get really comfortable saying "my money".

Show Notes

To get access to the full show notes, including links to all the resources mentioned, visit LifeWithArwen.com/5

Get The Book!

• She Handled It, So Can You!: An Inspiring and Empowering Financial Guide for Women

Connect with Arwen Becker

• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Twitter

Rate & Review

If you enjoyed today's episode of She Handled It, hit the subscribe button in Apple Podcasts, (or wherever you listen) so future episodes are automatically downloaded directly to your device.

You can also help by providing an honest rating & review over on Apple Podcasts. Reviews go a long way in helping us build awareness so that we can impact even more people. THANK YOU!

Even the strongest, most confident, and most capable people in your life aren't invincible. In fact, many women spend hours of their lives convincing people that they've got it all together when life is falling apart. Within the same month, Abby Havermann found herself facing her father's diagnosis with esophageal cancer and her seven-year-old son was diagnosis with a degenerative neuromuscular disorder, Charcot-Marie-Tooth.

Today, Abby joins the podcast to talk about self-care in the midst of her struggle, personal responsibility, and the mindset we need to embrace to live out our dreams, even while walking through life-altering medical challenges as a mom and daughter.

Abby is a coach, speaker, and author who uses her background as a psychotherapist and financial advisor to help high-achieving women achieve greatness. In her new book coming early in winter 2020, Control Freak, she helps you get to the heart of the matter that helps you truly think through your choices.

Overcomer Playlist Recommendation

Can't Stop The Feeling - Justin Timberlake

Pearls of Wisdom

• Why real self-care really has to do with plugging into yourself in any given moment, not just for big decisions but small ones, and really checking in to make sure that you have your finger on the pulse of what you feel about something.
• Why you need to begin to listen to and honor yourself, and make decisions from that standpoint intuitively. You have to think about what story you're telling yourself. The problem that you're having is not based on what someone said or did or the problem itself. It's based on the story that you're telling yourself.
• What true worth is - infinite, intrinsic and immutable. Your job is to align with it, not to try and prop it up with how you look or how you feel.

Show Notes

To get access to the full show notes, including links to all the resources mentioned, visit LifeWithArwen.com/4

Get The Book!

• She Handled It, So Can You!: An Inspiring and Empowering Financial Guide for Women

Connect with Arwen Becker

• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Twitter

Rate & Review

If you enjoyed today's episode of She Handled It, hit the subscribe button in Apple Podcasts, (or wherever you listen) so future episodes are automatically downloaded directly to your device.

You can also help by providing an honest rating & review over on Apple Podcasts. Reviews go a long way in helping us build awareness so that we can impact even more people. THANK YOU!

Growing up largely invisible to her parents, Alayne Reesberg learned autonomy at a very young age. Yet at home she was constantly surrounded by books, which filled much of the void she felt with information and knowledge of the world at large. She discovered very early on that this insatiable curiosity she had to learn would provide her much of the direction and insight she would need as she faced significant moments of change in her life – change that would eventually lead her to reinvent herself time and time again.

Alayne is a catalyst for change and a master of reinvention with a gift for distilling ideas down into tangible beauty. She served in the South African Foreign Service, held a post at the UN, and worked at the South African embassies in both DC and London. She also was a negotiator in a UN broker process that ended an 18-year civil war in Namibia and Angola, and played a major role in the first democratic elections in South Africa after the release of Nelson Mandela. After working as the executive producer for global events at Microsoft, Alayne returned to South Africa, where she was the CEO of a global project based in Cape Town.

Today, Alayne joins the podcast to talk about the power of taking risks, being brave, and what it means to truly reinvent yourself throughout every season of life.

Overcomer Playlist Recommendation

I Think It's Going to Work Out Fine - Ry Cooder

Pearls of Wisdom

• Why money can't help you get your health back after decades of depression, anxiety, worry, overwork, and exhaustion.
• How Alayne came to embrace "find a way" as her motto - and when it's led her to leave homes, jobs, and relationships.
• Shed the excess. Make things lighter.
• Learn how to support yourself and carve out that time for rituals that are uniquely and selfishly your own.

Get The Book!

• She Handled It, So Can You!: An Inspiring and Empowering Financial Guide for Women

Connect with Arwen Becker

• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Twitter

Rate & Review

If you enjoyed today's episode of She Handled It, hit the subscribe button in Apple Podcasts, (or wherever you listen) so future episodes are automatically downloaded directly to your device.

You can also help by providing an honest rating & review over on Apple Podcasts. Reviews go a long way in helping us build awareness so that we can impact even more people. THANK YOU!

When life is collapsing in on you, yet your personal and professional lives are intertwined, how do you persevere? After 17 years of working together, Arwen and her husband made the decision to sell half of their business and she was going to work for someone else. Arwen saw the sale as an opportunity to lift a huge financial burden off her shoulders, but the impact on their lives, their kids, and their employees was simply too much for her to bear. At the last possible minute, she backed out of the sale, since she believed that decision would end their marriage.

This decision to not quit, led Arwen to her first ever panic attack in September 2016, because she didn't know how to return to a company and life she believed was irreparably broken. This was just the start to the hardest two years of her life.

Today, Arwen is sharing the story of how she found freedom in living her authentic life amidst the pain and turmoil that choice seemed to cause. How Arwen and her husband transitioned their company and roles, worked through their financial devastation, saved their marriage and came out on the other side of these challenges with a flourishing business and a dream life, even in the midst of the COVID pandemic. Arwen wants to help you learn from her prideful mistakes and heartbreak. To help usher in your breakthrough -- one that is only found on the other side of not quitting.

Overcomer Playlist Recommendation

The Greatest Showman Cast - This Is Me

Pearls of Wisdom

• How changing our business model affected our marriage and relationship - and what we did to avoid what could have been a messy and expensive divorce.
• Why recovery is possible after you hit bottom - and how outside guidance can save your life.
• When you are weak your boundaries become compromised and you become vulnerable.
• It's okay to want to quit, just don't. Your breakthrough is right around the corner.
• The importance of staying committed to your commitments.

Get The Book!

• She Handled It, So Can You!: An Inspiring and Empowering Financial Guide for Women

Connect with Arwen Becker

• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Twitter

Rate & Review

If you enjoyed today's episode of She Handled It, hit the subscribe button in Apple Podcasts, (or wherever you listen) so future episodes are automatically downloaded directly to your device.

You can also help by providing an honest rating & review over on Apple Podcasts. Reviews go a long way in helping us build awareness so that we can impact even more people. THANK YOU!

Welcome to the She Handled It with Arwen Becker.

In this podcast, Arwen highlights women from different areas of study, ethnicities and backgrounds, who openly share with her one of the worst moments in their life. They go back to that rock-bottom moment, how it was overcome, what she learned and how beauty was brought forth from those ashes. When others crumbled, she persisted.

Women are experts at handling adversity and severe challenges. When her back is against the wall and all reasonable options have been exhausted, all that is left is her sheer will to pull herself out of bed one more time and to charge forth like Joan of Arc. She is a victorious, strong, determined woman who overcame what others believed would be her undoing.

Arwen Becker is a National Speaker, Author, Entrepreneur, Wife, Mother and Athlete, but in the valleys of her life, she battled many life-altering challenges ranging from; growing up in an alcohol and pornography laden home, abandonment, financial devastation as a child and adult, betrayal, imposter syndrome (just to name a few). She found freedom in vulnerability when she began to share her hurt, short-comings and failures, and desires other women to experience the same.

Talking through these truly tough moments, Arwen knows you will find hope in the inspirational and empowering stories of these women. You are not alone, and your brokenness is a gift to you, and more importantly, others you meet in the future. She Handled It, So Can You!

Connect with Arwen Becker

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