SHE LOVES HER, CO.

SHE LOVES HER, CO.

By Tosha TerpilowskiEducationSelf-Improvement
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SHE LOVES HER, CO. episodes

  • 10: PSA: We’ve Got Sex and Desire All Wrong
    A lot of what we think we “know” about sex as a society is based on very outdated research and false cultural assumptions. People lose their marriages over sexual issues and loss libido that can cause pain, hurt, and rejection in their relationships. This chaos can have you questioning your marriage and whether you're with the right person or not. There is blaming, accusations, hurt, pain and most of the challenges that couples face in long term relationships with sex can be met with compassion, given space for expansion and learning and repaired if we understood one thing: how sexual desire works in relationships, especially long term relationships. I’ll be sharing what I’ve learned in my own sexual education this past year. I’m not an expert but I have been affected by sexual issues in my own long term relationship and I know that I am not alone. I am normal. And so are you. Listen in and educate yourself in the resources that are becoming more available to us all that will help us flip our sexual relationships around and make for more connection, better understanding of one another and a satisfying sex life that can span decades. 
    OMGyes/Love this site. Women’s sexual pleasure has hidden in the shadows for too long. It’s time to get it all out in the open. 
    Dipseastories/An awesome app! Feeling turned on is more than a wind up to sex. It’s a way to feel more alive, understand yourself, unlock confidence, and enhance intimacy. Dipsea empowers you to tap into those feelings whenever you damn well please!
    Getcoral.app/More pleasure. Less stress. Deeper intimacy.
    RECOMMENDED READING: I absolutely love these book and highly recommend.
    Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life  
    The Come as You Are Workbook: A Practical Guide to the Science of Sex 
    Mind The Gap: The Truth About Desire and How to Future Proof Your Sex Life 
    Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want 
    Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire 
    PODCASTS RECOMMENDATIONS:
    Sex With Emily
    Doing It! with Hannah Witton
    Cosmopolitan: All the Way With.....
    Fix Yourself First w/ Dr. Kristie Overstreet
    The Sexual Wellness Sessions w/ Kate Moyle
    ManTalks with Conner Beaton
    43 min
  • Sexual Desire: Part Two, Some Questions Answered

    Well dang. Ya'll slipped into the DM's on Instagram and asked a couple of questions about my previous episode from a couple of days ago. PSA: We've Got Sex and Desire All Wrong. This will a be short episode to answer a couple of those questions. And shout out to my friend's husband for his message.

    I have a friend who listened to it and made her husband listen to the episode and he actually reached out to me on Instagram! So cool, right? This is what he said:

    He said, "that he and his wife are listening to the Mind the Gap book in Audible and that the book makes him mad because reading it before now would’ve save so much heartache between him and his wife regarding their sex life.”

    "You have given me hope that we can repair this and that he is committed to doing the work, learning and taking better care of our relationship and especially my wife. Thank you for the recommendation.”

    They have been married for 25 years.

    WHAT? You guys! I am so FREAKING happy. I feel good about being able to share my story to help others. It is an honor to be able to be a part of people's lives and help them make changes. As I walk my path, I invite you to come along and learn, heal and grow with me. I am honored to have this interaction with my friend's husband. Event he men are listening and wanting to grow.


    Today I answer these two questions:

    Question 1: "So, you're saying I'm normal? I'm NORMAL?!"

    Question 2: "Can you have both responsive and spontaneous desire? I feel like that I am really spontaneous on vacation but get responsive when I get home. Is this normal?"


    23 min
  • 9: How Personal Healing Led to Reclaiming My Sexuality and Sex Life
    You guys! Today I am sharing my article that I am writing for Motif this month. It’s me sharing a very vulnerable part of me and my story around sex. Sex and sexuality is such a huge part of being human and it is so often ignored when we talk about spiritual healing and awakening. I learned that sexuality and spirituality go hand in hand.
    On my journey from the start, I wanted to heal my spirit and my soul. My trauma, my wounds and my pain. Little did I know that the healing I was doing would intersect with my sex life and sexuality. That it would lead me to finding myself, loving myself completely, rediscovering my sexuality and who I am as a woman. That it would give me confidence in myself, my body and redefining what sex means to me and how I want it to be a part of my life…..
    16 min
  • 8: Do You Know What You Want?

    We can give a lot of thought to what we dont want. The list can be long. But have you given thought to what you DO want? For me, I hadn't. Not until this past year. And while it's been a new way of thinking for me, it's been a path that I am curious about and an learning to stay on as I find more of myself. I am finding that as I meet more of myself, I am becoming more aware of what it is that I want and how I want my life to look. Being complacent, living on autopilot and past patterns and conditionings are not where its at for me. I share a few things that I want in my life on today's chat. xx

    21 min
  • 7: An AH-HA Moment: More blossoming, softening, intimacy and cracking open.

    I just had a great conversation with some friends via zoom…a check in of sorts to see how we’re all doing and what our goals are for this month. 

    We got on the topic of healing and growth as we often do and I told them that I have been reflecting on something that I can finally put into words and I wanted to share them with you.

    Healing opens you up. Like, all the way. It cracks you wide open.

    I’ve noticed that my healing journey has led me to more compassion, empathy and to being more kind. To myself and definitely towards others. I have noticed that I feel a different kind of love towards others. A deep intimacy that is blossoming in a way that I have never, ever experienced before. It can feel uncomfortable and scary at times because I’ve never been in this place before and instead of pushing it away (like I have done in the past), I am really leaning into it. I am curious about it. And the more curious I am, the more I have opened. The more I soften.

    It’s been a beautiful thing to experience and witness in myself. I look forward to more growth and softening. More intimacy and healing as I walk this path.

    Blossom on, love.

    7 min
  • 6: I Can't Believe I Used To Do That!

    Well, this one gets personal and was out of my comfort zone to share, but we don't let fear stop us around here! Today I take about some things I used to do before I began my healing journey. The shame that accompanies the looking back on the person you used to be can be hard face, repair and walk away from, but it can be done. I aim to choose to fill that space with love, forgiveness, compassion and accountability It does make the healing and growth a little bit easier. I ramble in this episode, but that is OK. I am here for the ramblings, reflections and saying what I need to say. I hope you can take something away from this chat as you continue your walk. Also, forgive yourself. Love yourself. Honor yourself for showing up anyway, even when it's hard to do. xx

    30 min
  • 5: A Sunday Chat: Your Healing and Growth Journey is Real and Valid
    Don’t listen to the haters. People will try to tell you that you can’t change. That you can’t be different and I say bullshit. I drop in for a quick chat after a walk with a friend in the sunshine and wanted to tell you that I support you, believe you and a little bit more about my own healing and growth journey.
    19 min
  • 4: Hi, I’m Tosha. It’s Nice To Meet You Again.
    Today, I’m sitting at the lake and writing in my journal. I decided to bring you an episode that shares a little bit of my story and how I started my healing journey. A listener reached out and asked that I share a bit about my healing background so I decided to deliver.♥️
    21 min
  • 3: Limiting Core Beliefs
    What are you running through your mind, that you absolutely believe to be true and live your life according to that belief? You know what? If it's negative, you have no proof of it being true, and it's damaging your self worth, hurting others, sabotaging you, and making you show up so small in your world? Then you have a limiting core belief. Limiting core beliefs are not facts. These deeply ingrained "beliefs" can be mistaken as fact. These "beliefs" are often just conclusions and assumptions you have made based on your childhood experiences or events and experiences in adulthood. In this episode, I talk about what limiting beliefs are, where they come from and how to clear them from your psyche and life. I share some of the core beliefs that I have worked on, am currently working on and go off on a tangent telling you to believe in yourself.  
    The Work by Byron Katie suggests asking yourself these 4 questions when working with clearing your limiting beliefs. Use a journal to write out your answers.
    Question 1: Is it true?
    This question can change your life. Be still and ask yourself if the thought you wrote down is true.
    Question 2: Can you absolutely know it's true?
    This is another opportunity to open your mind and to go deeper into the unknown, to find the answers that live beneath what we think we know. I'm not sure there is much in this world where we can say "Yes, I am absolutely sure and I know that to be absolutely true."  
    Question 3: How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought?
    With this question, you begin to notice internal cause and effect. You can see that when you believe the thought, there is a disturbance that can range from mild discomfort to fear or panic lashing out, confrontational, etc. What do you feel? How do you treat the person (or the situation) you've written about, how do you treat yourself, when you believe that thought? Make a list, and be specific.
    Question 4: Who would you be without the thought?
    Imagine yourself in the presence of that person (or in that situation), without believing the thought. How would your life be different if you didn't have the ability to even think the stressful thought? How would you feel? Which do you prefer—life with or without the thought? Which feels kinder, more peaceful?
    Good Morning, I Love You: Mindfulness and Self Compassion Practices to Rewire Your Brain for Calm, Clarity and Joy, by Dr. Shauna Shapiro
    46 min
  • 2: Affirmations
    Let's start the week off with a little talk about affirmations. How do you feel about them? Do you use affirmations in your life? Affirmations have been a big part of my life over the past year and have made a huge difference in my mindset and healing journey. Today, I'll share some of my own personal affirmations with you. Enjoy!
    11 min

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