For too damn long time, I have held onto the belief that I had to have all my shit together before I could contribute anything meaningful to the world. Before I could be open. Before I could share my thoughts and ideas. I believed that I had to be put together before I could be taken seriously. Before I could feel like I was enough and worthy as I am.

This feeling has kept me playing so small for YEARS. It has made me really afraid of being noticed or truly seen for who I am, for far too long.

We all can be so caught up in our own thoughts and feelings and perspectives that we become story tellers, crafting narratives and viewing through lenses that limit us with our own narrowly-constructed ideas about what we’re capable of, about whether or not there is room for us to show up, about whether or not we can do the things we passionaltely dream about doing.

It’s exhausting.

Guess what? I will never have all of my shit together. I will never reach a point where I have it all figured out and do everything I’m “supposed” to do when I’m “supposed” to do it and how I’m “supposed” to do it. I have a ton of tools in my toolbox, and I will not use them all in the right moments. I will fall. I will make mistakes. I will FUCK IT UP. Why?

I forget how extraordinary I already am.

Hell, no. I am not doing that anymore.

I am learning to show up just as I am…..the beautiful, worthy and loved human being that I am. I am learning that I don’t need to have all of the answers, or be without blemishes, bruises and bumps.  I am learning that I don’t have to hold myself to the impossible standard of never making mistakes in order to show up, in order to change my part of the world, in order to help others, in order to share my truth, perspectives, and goodness.

I encourage you to keep showing up anyway.

Just as you are. xx

HEY!! 

Happy New Year you guys!!! Hello 2022! I start of the brand new year with letting you know some thoughts on how I would like for my year to go and how She Loves Her, Co. fits into that. And I also talk about a subject that A LOT of us struggle with and don't talk about it - conflict in relationships. After taking an amazing relationship course in 2021, I am determined to have better relationships in my life, especially my close ones (romantic, family and friends). We're going to talk about it here, starting with my new series called "Real Life". You can read the first installment here: Conflict in Relationships, Part I.

You’re normal. Going through periods of high conflict is completely normal. It happens to almost all couples, and you and your spouse are probably no worse or better than others when it comes to conflict in relationship. So many couples ask: “Is this normal? Do other couples struggle like us? I didn’t know that it would be this hard.” Even though we never really know what goes on behind closed doors, there’s a very high probability that the couples in your social circle argue as often and as intensely as you and your spouse do, and maybe even more. I share how conflict has impacted my own relationship....guys, this was hard, but we do vulnerability around here. We show up in truth.

Unfortunately, one of the biggest causes of divorce is conflict. So many marriages end because of a breakdown in communication and because the repair of conflict in the relationship isn’t handled well.

Know that conflict in relationship is absolutely normal and should not be viewed as wrong. Conflict occurs in every relationship, which only provides us with opportunities to share concerns and feelings and resolutions involving negotiation and collaboration. Conflict can be healthy, if done correctly. Please don’t avoid it, think that that it’s bad, or even think that it fits one look….an all out, drag out screaming match. Not all conflict looks like that. Conflict can be silent as well.

So let's talk about it and learn together.

I get real in this episode. There are tears, honesty, and lots of vulnerability. I don't hold back. I talk about relationships and love and some of life's hard seasons.

Our work is to love others without an agenda. We have to love people without an agenda because it’s the way the best people deserve to be loved.

Real love happens when we are willing to give up the expectations we have for someone else and simply appreciate him or her for who they are. Anyone is imperfect under a microscope – and when we’re desperately trying to fit someone into a certain role in our lives, it’s always that microscope we’re placing them under. We’re wanting them to say a certain thing, behave a certain way, showcase their affection in a very particular manner – rather than taking a step back and simply appreciating the ways in which they’re already doing so.

https://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2016/06/you-have-to-love-people-without-an-agenda/

You guys!!

Head over to listen to part two of my Enneagram Type 2 chat. I apologize that the audio is NOT fabulous on this one.....I'm not sure what happened but it's going out anyway. because, we don't do perfect around here. It's good enough.

On a basic level, the Enneagram is a system of personality typing that describes patterns in how people interpret the world and manage their emotions. The Enneagram describes nine different personality types and maps each of these types on a nine-pointed diagram which helps to illustrate how the types relate to one another. This map/model/tool describes 9 different enneagram or personality types, and each one possesses certain core beliefs which are what drives them. These beliefs drive each type and also can be limiting at times, which is why understanding them is so important. It isn’t meant to lock you into those weaknesses or limitations, instead it is meant to help you improve and find ways to maintain a sense of healthy balance in your life. It also helps to gain a deeper understanding of what motivates the people around you, and helps to comprehend why they contradict themselves at times. 

The Enneagram tells you the motivations behind your behavior. It tells you why you do the things you do. It’s more of a tool for self-growth, change, and transformation.

You guys!

Today I am talking AGAIN about the Enneagram. I will not shut up about it because it is AWESOME and I want you to know about it. I share with you my type. I'm a Two, otherwise known as The Giver, The Helper or as I like The Befriender. I share with you the four core motivations of the Enneagram and how they affects you and your life. and then, I share my personal journey with you and I am open and honest about my trip ups. There was some sweating behind the scenes on this one, but that's OK. I am all about truth around here.

So, simply said: The Enneagram tells you the motivations behind your behavior. It tells you why you do the things you do. It’s a tool for self-growth to use instead of Meyer Briggs, which just tells you what you do. The Enneagram is a journey of self discovery, It’s not just a test that you take for free online. No no no.

The Enneagram is not a comfortable thing. It will not make you feel good about yourself. It draws out characteristics about you that are not always really great. A few of us will take the test and will be willing to go further with the results, but a lot of people won’t. I am not one of those people. 

I am all in baby!

The Enneagram is about change. It’s supposed to be used for growth, change and transformation, and not about putting yourself in a box. You’re not stuck in that box. The Enneagram is a tool to use to help you get out of that box. The system is not meant to box you in. It’s actually meant to free you. How wonderful is that?

I am all about everyone owning their stuff. Including me. To be honest and to really look at ourselves and think about what we bring to the table and what is serving us, those around us and the world - we need to acknowledge and own that. The Enneagram basically asks you to do that directly. It can help you break unhealthy and harmful cycles, find healing, and have deep and intimate relationships and come into your full, beautiful and whole self. I absolutely believe this. Because I have seen it make some changes in my own life.

You ready? Let's do this.

Thank you so much for listening.

xx

You guys!! Today I share with you a basic description of the Enneagram As you know, I LOVE Enneagram and am currently studying it and integrating it into my life. I was first introduced to the Enneagram in January 2018 and put it away for a while because I didn’t like the “dark and unflattering” side of my type. I’ve always been interested in personal development but this system seemed too accurate and honestly, it scared me. On my journey I have decided to use it in my healing and crack it wide open to understand myself. Little did I know, it would become an obsession into digging into myself and learning so much more about others. The enneagram is a complete game changer for your development, for your relationships, how you parent and how you work.  

What if you're not wrong? What if they're not wrong? What if we had a tool to help us grow our self into more of who we are? To help us heal our relationships and interactions with our loved ones? What if we had help to help us love ourselves and others better? The Enneagram will help you do that.  

Enjoy!