She’s Been Through It

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Feel like everyone else got a head start in your career? You’re not alone. In this episode, I get honest about imposter syndrome, career insecurity, and what it’s really like to be a woman in engineering without a “tinkering” background, and what finally helped me stop feeling behind.

I didn’t grow up around engineering. No one in my house rebuilt engines or fixed complicated machinery, and I didn’t even know what engineering really was until a summer program for women in engineering at Temple University. From there I earned a mechanical engineering degree at Penn State, surrounded by classmates who were practically raised in garages. They’d taken apart engines, rebuilt Jeeps, and grown up around tools. I felt like everyone had a head start and I was still trying to find the starting line.

That feeling didn’t stop at graduation. It followed me into my first job, where I was asked to take apart a PLC cabinet and I froze. The anxiety, embarrassment, and shame were real, and they clouded the part of my brain that could have figured it out. This episode is about that moment and everything I learned from it.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Why feeling behind at work is so common, and how to break out of the comparison spiral

How I used an athlete’s mindset (repetition, discipline, showing up) to catch up in engineering school

What happened when I froze on the job, and what it taught me about anxiety, shame, and not knowing where to start

How to stop obsessing over what you don’t know and lean into your real strengths: leadership, communication, and organization

Why confidence is less about feeling fearless and more about feeling functional

A tip from my therapist for overwhelming days: break everything down into really small steps

Why insecurities never fully disappear, but can stop being the main character of your life

Who this episode is for:

Women in STEM, engineers, early-career professionals, career changers, new grads, and anyone dealing with imposter syndrome, self-doubt, anxiety at work, or the feeling that they missed the memo everyone else got.

Time stamps:

0:00 The career insecurity that followed me for years

0:35 Discovering engineering through a women-in-engineering program

1:30 Feeling behind in engineering school

3:05 Using an athlete’s mindset to catch up

3:45 Starting my first job

4:40 Freezing at the PLC cabinet

6:00 Why I stopped obsessing over what I didn’t know

7:30 Confidence: functional, not fearless

9:20 Breaking things into small steps

9:50 Why insecurities never fully disappear

10:45 Wrap-up and what’s next

Coming up:

Future episodes on doing hard things, honest and raw stories on navigating male dominated spaaces, mental health and depression, girl chat, my indusry chanage from government and defense into corporate pharmaceuticals.

Love this episode?

Hit Follow so you never miss a new episode, leave a rating and review to help more people find the show, and share this with a coworker, friend, or classmate who needs to hear it today.

Next time, we keep unlearning the outdated career advice we never asked for but somehow absorbed anyway.

About the show:

This is your go-to resource for women in engineering, STEM career development, engineering leadership, workplace confidence, career growth, and real conversations about succeeding in male-dominated industries.

No corporate jargon. No polished success stories. Just honest engineering career conversations, practical advice, and the truth about what it takes to build a successful career in STEM.

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!

Have a workplace or career challenge on your mind? Feel free to ask questions or share what's going on. Leave a voicemail here

Flashback Friday: perfectionism, failure, and how to stop treating a bad grade as proof you’re not good enough.

We’re pulling an episode out of the vault on She’s Been Through Some Shit, the one I replay in my head whenever the old voice gets loud.

Picture it: 1 a.m. on a Monday, chapter 12 of a finance textbook, fourth coffee of the day, and a question that won’t go away: Am I doing this because I want it, or because I still have something to prove?

At 20, I bombed a circuits exam in my electrical engineering program so badly that I was ready to quit, pick a “safe” path, and rebuild my entire future around one number. More than a decade later, in the middle of grad school, I failed an International Finance exam, and the spiral I expected never showed up. Same outcome, completely different reaction. The difference was that I stopped reading the grade as a verdict and started reading it as a clue.

This episode gets into the messy details: a lockdown browser policy that changed the night before the exam, a recorded lecture I played on a long drive that left my husband as lost as I was, a professor’s email that opened with “I’m concerned about you,” a brutal stretch at work, a wedding I was standing up in, and a group project where a few people carried most of the load. It also covers the realization underneath it all: I had picked a concentration mostly because it was hard, not because it was where I wanted to go.

QUESTIONS THIS EPISODE ANSWERS:

• How do you stop a bad grade from derailing your confidence?
• Is it quitting, or is it redirecting?
• What do you do when a teacher’s style just doesn’t work for you?
• How do you know if a goal is truly yours or a leftover from old pressure?
• Is spending four extra hours to raise a 92 to a 98 worth it?
• When is it okay to stop proving yourself?

PRESS PLAY IF:

• You’re the friend who always signs up for the hard thing
• You keep raising the bar after you’ve already cleared it
• You’re a woman in STEM or engineering who had to earn credibility before opening your mouth
• You’ve ever asked, “What’s the actual benefit to me?” and didn’t love the answer

The big takeaway: capable and committed are two different things. Just because you can do the hardest version of something doesn’t mean you should.

CHAPTERS: 00:00 The 1 a.m. question 03:17 The exam I failed at 20 08:58 Perfectionism and grad school as an adult 10:50 The class that broke my coping system 16:34 Failing again at 35 19:32 The professor’s email 22:01 Realizing finance wasn’t my path 25:34 What’s the actual benefit to me? 27:21 Your turn

TELL ME: What’s one thing you could absolutely do and chose not to? Drop it in the comments or send it to me on Instagram. I want to hear it, even if this is your first time hearing the episode.

NEW HERE? Follow She’s Been Through Some Shit and leave a quick rating or review on Spotify. It’s the best way to help other listeners find the show. And if someone in your life is still proving themselves, send them this one.

She’s Been Through Some Shit is a podcast that challenges outdated career advice and perfectionism, and helps you build a life that actually fits you.

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!

Have a workplace or career challenge on your mind? Feel free to ask questions or share what's going on. Leave a voicemail here

Ever leave a meeting and spend the rest of the day replaying the conversation in your head?

Not because you didn't know what to say, but because three hours later, while unloading groceries or sitting in traffic, you've suddenly become the most articulate person alive.

I've done it more times than I can count.

In this episode of She's Been Through Some Shit, I'm sharing a workplace lesson I learned the hard way after years of navigating engineering, difficult conversations, missed deadlines, strong personalities, and the pressure many women feel to constantly prove themselves at work.

For the longest time, I believed that acknowledging someone else's perspective made me look weak. If I said "I understand," it felt like I was giving ground, admitting defeat, or agreeing with something I didn't actually agree with.

What I eventually learned changed the way I handle conflict, communicate with coworkers, manage challenging workplace situations, and approach conversations that seem destined to spiral into frustration.

In this episode, we discuss:

✔️ Workplace conflict and difficult conversations

✔️ How to deal with angry coworkers and challenging personalities

✔️ Emotional intelligence at work

✔️ Professional communication skills

✔️ Setting boundaries without becoming passive

✔️ Why women often feel pressured to over-explain themselves

✔️ Leadership, influence, and workplace relationships

✔️ Missed deadlines and productive accountability

✔️ How to de-escalate workplace tension

✔️ The difference between understanding someone and agreeing with them

This episode is for anyone who has ever:

• Replayed a meeting in their head for days afterward
• Worked in engineering, manufacturing, construction, technology, or another male-dominated industry
• Felt frustrated by workplace communication
• Struggled to balance empathy with assertiveness
• Found themselves defending their expertise over and over again
• Wanted to communicate more effectively without sacrificing their boundaries

Sometimes the most powerful communication tools aren't the clever comebacks, perfectly crafted arguments, or lengthy explanations.

Sometimes it's realizing that hearing someone doesn't diminish your expertise, weaken your position, or require you to change your mind.

It simply creates space for a better conversation.

If you've ever continued an argument from the safety of your own car long after the meeting ended, you're in good company.

🎧 Follow She's Been Through Some Shit for honest conversations about women in STEM, engineering careers, workplace culture, anxiety, confidence, friendships, leadership, personal growth, and all the things nobody included in the handbook for adulthood.

IG: @shesbeenthroughsomeshit

Substack: https://substack.com/@shesbeenthroughsomeshit

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!

Have a workplace or career challenge on your mind? Feel free to ask questions or share what's going on. Leave a voicemail here

What’s really on your mind when the work week winds down? 🍂

Welcome to Off the Clock, the weekly lifestyle podcast for travel dreams, cozy fall vibes, and honest girl-talk. This episode feels like catching up with a friend over coffee (or a big bowl of soup) as we unpack everything that fills our minds once the laptop closes.

In this episode, I’m sharing a mix of travel inspiration, fall comfort food, wedding beauty opinions, pop culture favorites, and a few things I’ve been loving lately. We start with why Okinawa, Japan has stayed at the top of my travel bucket list for years. Then we get into the surprisingly simple trick that improved my homemade butternut squash soup, plus some sourdough bread talk. From there, we move into concert memories, the country music artists on repeat right now, Penn State volleyball season and State College nostalgia, and my ongoing Gilmore Girls rewatch, including the debate that refuses to die: Team Jess, Team Dean, or Team Logan?

✨ IN THIS EPISODE ✈️ Why Okinawa, Japan is still my dream travel destination 🍲 Butternut squash soup, sourdough bread, and cozy fall cooking 🎵 Concert memories and current country music favorites 💄 Wedding makeup and hair hot takes: choosing authenticity over trends 🏐 Penn State volleyball season thoughts and State College nostalgia 📺 Gilmore Girls rewatch conversations, favorite characters, and the great Jess vs. Dean vs. Logan debate

💬 THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF...

• You’re planning your next trip or building a Japan travel bucket list
• You’re embracing fall with cozy recipes, soup season, and homemade bread
• You’re navigating wedding decisions like bridal makeup, hair, and beauty trends
• You love country music, live concerts, and concert nostalgia
• You’re a Penn State volleyball or Penn State fan
• You’re rewatching Gilmore Girls and need someone to debate with
• You want a relatable, funny podcast to unwind with after work, on a commute, or on a Friday night

💛 ENJOYING THE SHOW? Tap FOLLOW on Spotify so you never miss a new episode, leave a quick rating or review (it helps new listeners find the show), and share this episode with a friend who needs a little “off the clock” time.

👇 YOUR TURN: Which Gilmore Girls team are you on? And what’s the one place on your travel bucket list you can’t stop thinking about? Tell me on Instagram or in the YouTube comments.

🎙️ New episodes every week 📸 Instagram: @shesbeenthroughsomeshit 🎥 YouTube: @shesbeenthroughsomesht

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!

Have a workplace or career challenge on your mind? Feel free to ask questions or share what's going on. Leave a voicemail here

What happens when you're standing in the hangar bay of a Navy aircraft carrier, staring at a quarter-million-dollar piece of equipment, and realizing you might have just flooded it?

For me, it started with one wrong move. Water everywhere. A full-blown panic spiral. And one very specific question running through my head:

Can you get fired for opening a valve?

In this episode, I share the biggest mistakes of my engineering career, the mentorship lessons that came from it, and why I believe a lot of traditional career advice around mentorship has completely missed the mark, especially for women in engineering, women in STEM, and early-career professionals.

For years, I thought I needed to find one perfect mentor.

The person who would magically appear with all the answers.

But, they never showed up.

What actually changed my career was building something much more powerful: a personal Board of Directors made up of mentors, peers, managers, colleagues, friends, and people who were willing to tell me the truth when I needed it most.

In this episode, I cover:

✅ The work mistake that convinced me my career was over

✅ The mentor who talked me off the ledge when I thought I'd ruined everything

✅ Why the best mentors often aren't officially assigned mentors

✅ What great leadership looks like in practice

✅ How to handle career mistakes, setbacks, and embarrassing failures at work

✅ The reality of imposter syndrome in engineering and technical careers

✅ Why traditional mentorship advice has failed many women

✅ How women in STEM can build meaningful support networks

✅ The importance of sponsorship, networking, and professional relationships

✅ Why mentors do not need to be older, senior, or more experienced than you

✅ What I've learned from both exceptional leaders and terrible ones

✅ How to create your own personal Board of Directors for career growth

I also talk about believing I needed a formal mentoring relationship when what I actually needed was help solving a real problem.

Because the best mentoring conversations rarely start with:

"Will you be my mentor?"

They usually start with:

"Can I get your opinion on something?"

This episode offers practical, honest advice about mentorship, leadership development, networking, career advancement, and professional growth.

Most importantly, it's a reminder that making a mistake doesn't mean you don't belong.

The best mentors don't just help you solve problems.

They help you keep perspective when you've lost it.

They remind you that one bad day doesn't define an entire career.

And sometimes they're simply the person who answers the phone when you're completely freaking out.

If this episode resonates with you, please follow, rate, and review the podcast. It helps more people discover honest conversations about engineering, STEM, leadership, mentorship, career growth, workplace challenges, and what it's really like building a career when nobody hands you a roadmap.

And I'd love to hear from you: who's on your personal Board of Directors? What mentor, manager, colleague, friend, or unexpected person has had the biggest impact on your career?

#WomenInEngineering #WomenInSTEM #Mentorship #Leadership #CareerGrowth #CareerDevelopment #EngineeringCareers #ProfessionalDevelopment #WomenInBusiness #ImposterSyndrome #Networking #CareerAdvice #LeadershipDevelopment #STEMCareers #Podcast #EngineeringLeadership #BusinessPodcast #ProfessionalGrowth #Mentoring #CareerSuccess

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!

Have a workplace or career challenge on your mind? Feel free to ask questions or share what's going on. Leave a voicemail here

Have you ever met another woman and immediately assumed you'd become friends?

Maybe you work in a male-dominated industry and feel an instant sense of relief when another woman walks into the room. Maybe you've found yourself replaying text messages, wondering whether someone likes you, or trying to turn a casual connection into a close friendship because it feels like opportunities for meaningful friendships are rare.

In this episode of She's Been Through Some Shit, I'm talking about a realization that took me years to have: not every woman you meet is supposed to become your best friend.

As one of the few women in engineering for much of my career, I often assumed that shared experiences automatically meant friendship potential. Same industry? Instant connection. Similar background? Future besties. But eventually I realized I was confusing proximity with compatibility.

This episode explores how scarcity can shape the way we approach friendships, why some relationships feel effortless while others feel forced, and how learning to stop chasing every potential friendship actually brought more peace into my life.

From engineering conference rooms to horse barns, I'm sharing stories about friendship expectations, people-pleasing, belonging, and the mindset shift that helped me stop asking, "Do they like me?" and start asking a much better question:

Do I actually enjoy being around this person when I'm not trying to impress them?

We'll talk about:

✓ Why making friends as an adult feels so much harder than it did in your twenties

✓ The friendship scarcity trap and how it affects women

✓ Female friendships and the pressure to instantly connect

✓ Workplace friendships and navigating relationships in male-dominated industries

✓ Why shared demographics don't always create meaningful relationships

✓ Supporting other women without forcing friendships

✓ How to identify friendship compatibility versus obligation

✓ Letting relationships evolve naturally instead of trying to control the outcome

✓ Friendship boundaries, connection, and finding your people

✓ Why fewer meaningful friendships often feel better than dozens of surface-level ones

This episode is for anyone who has ever:

• Felt lonely in a male-dominated workplace

• Wondered why some friendships never seem to click

• Struggled with people-pleasing tendencies

• Tried too hard to make a friendship work

• Felt guilty for drifting away from someone who wasn't actually a good fit

• Wanted deeper, more authentic relationships

The truth is that not every friendship is meant to last forever. Some people become lifelong friends. Some become work friends. Some become acquaintances you enjoy seeing from time to time. And some are simply people who walk alongside you for a season.

Learning to accept that has been one of the most freeing lessons of my adult life.

If you've ever felt pressure to turn every promising connection into a close friendship, this conversation is for you.

Follow She's Been Through Some Shit for candid conversations about career changes, personal growth, friendship, life transitions, horses, navigating adulthood, and figuring things out one lesson at a time.

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!

Have a workplace or career challenge on your mind? Feel free to ask questions or share what's going on. Leave a voicemail here

What do Alaska bears and toxic workplaces have in common? More than you'd think.

While visiting Alaska, we woke up at 4:30 AM to hike 9.5 miles with 3,500 feet of elevation gain before the rain rolled in. Along the way, I learned that in Alaska you can literally rent bear spray from a 24-hour coffee drive-through. But that experience reminded me of another environment that once felt just as hostile: my first engineering internship.

At 19 years old, I was the only young woman in an office where I was told on my first day that my boss didn't want to hire me because he wanted a man instead. Between daily criticism, public humiliation, and constantly questioning whether I belonged in engineering, I spent many lunch breaks hiding in a bathroom stall trying not to cry.

This is the story of toxic leadership, workplace discrimination, resilience, women in STEM, engineering internships, career growth, and the lesson that one bad manager does not get to decide your future.

If you've ever dealt with a difficult boss, imposter syndrome, workplace bullying, sexism in engineering, or struggled to find confidence early in your career, this story is for you.

Subscribe for stories about engineering, career growth, travel adventures, STEM life, leadership lessons, and navigating life's weirdest experiences.

🎥 YouTube: @shesseensomeengineeringshit 📸 Instagram: @shesbeenthroughsomeshit

#WomenInEngineering #EngineeringCareer #STEM #CareerAdvice #Leadership #AlaskaTravel #EngineeringInternship #WorkplaceCulture #ToxicBoss #CareerGrowth #WomenInSTEM #PersonalDevelopment #LifeLessons #FemaleEngineer #EngineeringLife

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!

Have a workplace or career challenge on your mind? Feel free to ask questions or share what's going on. Leave a voicemail here

Have you ever looked at a friendship and realized nobody did anything wrong... but you're not the same people anymore?

In this episode, I'm talking about something we don't discuss nearly enough: adult friendships, friendship drift, and what happens when relationships quietly fade instead of ending in a dramatic blowup.

I share the story of a friendship that's been part of my life for nearly a decade and why I've come to accept that sometimes people grow in different directions. We talk about the difference between gratitude and obligation, how to recognize when you only have history in common, and why not every friendship needs a formal ending.

But this episode isn't just about friendships ending.

It's also about the friendships that begin from the smallest moments: a handwritten note slipped under a neighbor's door during the pandemic, a random Meetup event, a Friendsgiving invitation, and the surprising ways meaningful connections are built as adults.

In this episode we explore:

• How adult friendships evolve over time

• Friendship breakups without the drama

• Why people naturally drift apart • Making new friends as an adult

• Long-distance friendships that actually last

• Mental health, anxiety, and relationships

• Letting go of guilt when friendships change

• Why taking small social risks can lead to life-changing connections

If you've ever been navigating changing friendships, feeling disconnected from someone you once considered a close friend, wondering how to make friends as an adult, or trying to build meaningful relationships in a busy life, this episode is for you.

I'm also on a mission to grow this podcast from 63 followers to 100 followers by September 27, so if this episode resonates with you, hit Follow and share it with a friend who needs to hear it.

New episodes cover life in STEM, career growth, relationships, mental health, resilience, and figuring out adulthood one lesson at a time.

#AdultFriendships #MakingFriendsAsAnAdult #FriendshipBreakup #PersonalGrowth #MentalHealth #Relationships #LifeLessons #WomenInSTEM #SelfDevelopment #Podcast

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!

Have a workplace or career challenge on your mind? Feel free to ask questions or share what's going on. Leave a voicemail here

I never thought I'd be the woman saying, "I ended my engagement."

For years, I convinced myself that stability meant compatibility. I believed that being the strong one, the logical one, and the dependable one meant I should stay, even when the relationship wasn't right.

As an engineer and woman in STEM, I spend my career solving problems, analyzing systems, and trusting data. But in my own relationship, I ignored the warning signs.

I tried fixing:

✔️ Communication issues

✔️ Emotional imbalance

✔️ Financial stress

✔️ Family dynamics

✔️ Relationship incompatibility

✔️ The constant feeling that I owed someone my future

What I finally realized was this:

You cannot engineer compatibility.

You cannot force a healthy relationship through effort alone.

And you should never stay because of guilt, obligation, or fear of disappointing someone.

In this episode of my Women in STEM podcast, I'm sharing:

✨ Why I ended my engagement

✨ The relationship red flags I stopped ignoring

✨ How people-pleasing kept me stuck

✨ What self-advocacy looks like in love

✨ Lessons every ambitious woman should hear

✨ How engineering principles helped me make one of the hardest decisions of my life

This conversation is especially for:

• Women in engineering

• Women in STEM careers

• High-achieving women

• Women navigating relationships while building their careers

• Anyone struggling with self-worth, boundaries, or people-pleasing

• Anyone questioning whether stability and compatibility are actually the same thing

And yes...I recorded this completely imperfectly.

No makeup.

No media training.

Airport delays.

Dry vacation skin.

Wild hair.

Pure chaos.

But I posted anyway.

Because the lesson isn't just about ending an engagement.

It's about choosing yourself.

If you're waiting until you're perfect to start the podcast, launch the business, leave the relationship, advocate for yourself, or share your story...you'll be waiting forever.

Your life changes the moment you start trusting yourself.

🎙 Follow for honest conversations about women in engineering, STEM careers, relationships, personal growth, confidence, leadership, self-advocacy, and navigating life as an ambitious woman.

Save this episode if you've ever struggled with relationship red flags, people pleasing, or choosing yourself.

Share it with someone who needs the reminder that compatibility matters more than comfort.

Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!

Have a workplace or career challenge on your mind? Feel free to ask questions or share what's going on. Leave a voicemail here

In this episode of Off the Clock, I'm discussing favorite female TV icons like Kim Possible, Cristina Yang, Miranda Bailey, Addison Montgomery, and Jessica Pearson, plus my take on the classic McDreamy vs. McSteamy debate.

I also break down the viral Aryna Sabalenka US Open moment and what it says about how the media treats female athletes.

Then we're getting into workplace culture, professional boundaries, awkward coworker interactions, women in STEM, and office survival tactics, including the fake Teams meetings I've used to avoid unwanted conversations.

Finally, I'm sharing current music favorites from Tate McRae, Tinashe, Jhené Aiko, and Christina Aguilera, along with songs you need to add to your playlist.

If you're interested in women in engineering, workplace stories, Grey's Anatomy, Suits, pop culture, music, female empowerment, and navigating adulthood, this one is for you.

Follow Off the Clock for weekly conversations about work, life, music, pop culture, and everything that happens when we're finally off the clock.

Aryna: US Open Press Conference

Sports Car

Greedy

Uh Oh

Calgary

Nasty

No Broke Boys

No Broke Boys (feat. Disco Lines)

2 On

I'm Every Woman Remix (feat. TOKiMONSTA)

Sativa

Happiness Over Everything

Post to Be

Pussy Fairy

Christina Aguilera 25th Anniversary Performance