She’s Been Through It

If you’ve ever been a woman in engineering trying to make a major career move while your anxiety is doing backflips, this episode will feel like a spiritual experience. Today, I’m telling the full story of the drug test panic that hit me right as I was leaving my government defense engineering job - not because the drug test made me quit, but because the stakes felt so high that my brain convinced me I’d get stuck in the job I was desperately trying to leave. It’s chaotic, honest, funny, and painfully relatable for anyone navigating STEM anxiety, engineering burnout, or a career change in a male‑dominated field.

This episode starts in Coronado, where I was wrapping up a long, stressful trip working on a Navy‑adjacent project. I had just accepted a corporate job offer - a huge moment for any woman in STEM trying to escape the “stable but soul‑sucking” government engineering path. My boss was on his honeymoon, so I sat with this life‑altering secret for days before finally calling him to resign. And yes, I did it while he was driving home. And yes, I regretted that immediately.

From there, the story turns into a mix of women‑in‑engineering chaos, Coronado sunsets, grilled cheese made by an older man who buttered both sides of the bread like a culinary king, and the emotional whiplash of realizing: Oh shit… I’m actually doing this.

But the real spiral started when corporate sent me the background check and drug test instructions. If you’ve ever dealt with OCD, intrusive thoughts, or high‑stakes anxiety, you already know where this is going. I had been taking non‑THC CBD oil to calm my nerves, but my brain decided to run a full internal audit: “What if it secretly has THC?” “What if the test picks up a molecule?” “What if I fail and have to go back to my defense job?” “What if I ruin my entire life because of a dropper of Whole Foods CBD?”

So naturally… I went to CVS and bought two drug tests. Because nothing says “women in STEM” like redundant validation. The pharmacist absolutely judged me. My boyfriend (now husband) absolutely questioned me. And I absolutely took both tests like I was running a personal compliance lab in my bathroom.

Spoiler: they were negative. Obviously. But the spiral wasn’t about the test - it was about the fear of going backward. The fear of staying in a job that was burning me out. The fear of losing the one chance I had to leave government engineering and step into a healthier, more aligned career.

This episode is for every woman in engineering who has ever felt trapped, overwhelmed, or terrified of making a big move. It’s for anyone who’s ever spiraled over something tiny because the bigger thing felt massive. It’s for anyone navigating STEM anxiety, career transitions, government engineering burnout, or the emotional chaos of trying to build a life that actually fits.

If you’re in your own “Oh shit… I’m actually doing this” moment - this one’s for you.

Welcome to the officialtrailer for She’s Been Through Some Engineering Shit, apodcast about engineering, career growth, leadership, resilience, personaldevelopment, and the stories we don't usually tellout loud. If you've ever wondered whatit's really like to build a career in engineering, navigatecorporate America, lead through uncertainty, advocatefor yourself, recover from failure, or simply figure outlife as you go, you're in the right place.

This isn't another podcast filledwith perfectly polished success stories or generic careeradvice. I'm an engineer by background,but this podcast is about so much more than engineering. It'sabout the people behind the job titles, the moments thatshape us, the difficult conversations, the winsno one sees, the setbacks that change everything, and much more. This podcast exists because Iknow I'm not the only one. Whether you're an engineer, aSTEM professional, a college student, an aspiring leader, someone navigatingcorporate life, a woman in technology, or someone whoenjoys authentic conversations about careers, you'll find something here that resonates.

Every episode is designed tofeel like you're sitting down for coffee with someonewho's willing to skip the buzzwords and havethe conversation we all wish happened more often.

We'll talk abouttopics like:

•Women in engineering and womenin STEM

•Leadership lessons that actually matter• Corporate life• Navigating toxic workplaces • Building confidence and overcoming imposter syndrome• Professional development and lifelong learning• Mentorship • Burnout and resilience• Career pivots and taking risks• Job interviews, exit interviews, and career transitions• Communication and executive presence• Difficult conversations at work• Entrepreneurship and building something of your own• Failure, rejection, and bouncing back• Personal growth outside of work• Relationships between career and identity• Lessons learned from real experiences - not just theory

You'll also hear from guestswith diverse backgrounds who have incredible stories to tell.Engineers. Leaders. Entrepreneurs. Executives. Creators.Professionals from different industries. People who've overcome obstacles, reinventedthemselves, challenged expectations, and discovered what success actually means to them.

Expect honest storytelling.

Expect practical advice.

Expect uncomfortable truths.

Expect laughter.

Expect conversations that aren'tedited to make life seem perfect.

Most importantly,expect authenticity.

This podcast isn't about pretending to have all the answers. It'sabout asking better questions, sharing real experiences,and helping each other navigate careers and life witha little more confidence, curiosity, and courage.

If you've ever felt like you didn't belong in the room...

If you've ever questioned yourabilities...

If you've ever left ameeting thinking, "Did that really just happen?"

If you've ever celebrated awin that nobody else understood...

If you've ever struggled tofind people talking honestly about engineering, leadership, corporatelife, or personal growth...

You're exactly who I createdthis podcast for.

If this sounds like yourkind of conversation, subscribe, follow, and join the community.New episodes feature candid 

Welcome back to She’s Been Through Some Engineering Shit, the podcast where a woman in engineering who has survived nuclear‑adjacent machinery, government pay scales, and men who bang on tables for emphasis breaks down the chaotic realities of STEM life with humor, honesty, and the kind of storytelling that makes other women in engineering whisper, “Oh my god… same.” If you’ve ever been underestimated, overworked, or stuck in a male‑dominated environment that thinks “diversity” means letting you speak first in a meeting, this episode will feel painfully familiar.

Today’s episode is the full, unhinged saga of my exit interview — the one where I walked in with notes, a 6–7 item list, and two years of pent‑up frustration, and walked out with my boss’s boss literally tearing up. It’s part TED Talk, part therapy session, part roast of engineering workplace culture, and a brutally honest look at what women in STEM deal with behind the scenes.

We start in 2023, when I was leaving my government defense job for corporate pharma. Management had promised me a GS‑14 promotion for doing high‑grade work on nuclear ships, compressed air systems, and high‑pressure platforms. Meanwhile, my male colleagues already held the higher grade. In the exit interview, I finally said it out loud: “You strung me along.” I laid out the cost savings, the doubled team output, the presentations to leadership — all the receipts. The honesty was robust, and Tom looked like he was experiencing a midlife crisis in real time.

Then there’s John — the Human Earthquake — a loud, chaotic peer who banged on tables like he was reenacting Wolf of Wall Street without the money or charisma. He called everyone “gents,” including me, the lead engineer. I explain how this wasn’t just annoying, but emblematic of the subtle disrespect women in engineering navigate daily. Tom nodded like he was watching his entire leadership philosophy crumble.

We dive into the diversity conversation: how leaders often “don’t see problems” because they’ve never been dismissed, harassed, or called “sweetheart” in a meeting about nuclear machinery. I tell Tom why checking in with high performers, especially women, actually matters. He tears up. Twice. I did not expect my exit interview to turn into a vulnerability workshop, but here we were.

Next comes the San Diego chaos tour: six weeks, eighteen machinery upgrades, Harbor Freight runs, nuclear‑ship breakdowns, and the moment a stakeholder threatened deployment if I didn’t finish. I froze, cried in the lowest deck of the ship, and realized how unsustainable the job had become. My boyfriend (now husband) told me, “You can quit.” And suddenly the door I thought was locked swung open.

Right before flying home, I discovered I’d been signed up for a Philly naval conference I never agreed to. I proved it. My boss ghosted me. I spiraled in my basement like a Victorian chimney sweep who’d had enough. Then I went anyway — and he didn’t even show up. It was the kind of workplace absurdity that makes you question your entire career path.

The episode ends with the final goodbye: a manager who didn’t meet with me, didn’t acknowledge anything, and didn’t do an exit interview. It was disappointing, weird, and very on brand. And it cemented the realization that I didn’t need to stay loyal to a system that wasn’t loyal to me.

This episode blends engineering burnout, workplace culture, early‑career anxiety, leadership gaps, and the specific flavor of chaos women in engineering navigate daily. If you’ve ever felt overlooked, overworked, or one Harbor Freight run away from losing it, this one’s for you. It’s a reminder that leaving isn’t failure — sometimes it’s the most powerful engineering decision you can make.

Catch you in the next episode, where we keep unlearning all the outdated career advice we never asked for but somehow absorbed anyway

Welcome back to She’s Been Through Some Engineering Shit, the podcast where a woman in engineering breaks down the honest, chaotic, deeply relatable parts of STEM life that never make it into textbooks or career brochures. Today’s episode dives into one of the most common - but least talked‑about - insecurities women in engineering face: not growing up as a “tinkerer.” If you didn’t rebuild engines in high school, fix cars in your driveway, or spend your childhood taking apart electronics, this episode is for you.

This is the story of how career insecurity followed me from high school into college and well into my early engineering career. While my classmates talked about rebuilding dirt bikes and modifying engines, I was the student quietly panicking because I didn’t know which wrench was which. I didn’t grow up in a garage. I didn’t have a tinkering dad. I didn’t have a shelf of tools. And in a field where hands‑on experience is treated like a personality trait, I felt like I was already behind before I even started.

I share the moment I froze during a lab visit - the moment that convinced me I wasn’t technical enough, smart enough, or “engineer‑y” enough to belong. Surrounded by tools I didn’t recognize and equipment I’d never touched, I spiraled into engineering anxiety so intense it made me question my entire career path. It was the kind of panic that hits you in the chest, the kind that makes you feel like everyone else had a head start you somehow missed.

But this episode isn’t just about the insecurity. It’s about what came after: the slow, steady, unglamorous process of building confidence without a tinkering background. I talk about how repetition, leadership, mentorship, and showing up even when I was spiraling helped me develop what I call functional confidence - the kind that doesn’t come from childhood tinkering, but from adult perseverance. I share how I learned to ask better questions, how I built technical intuition through experience rather than upbringing, and how I stopped comparing myself to people who grew up with a wrench in their hand.

This episode explores the intersection of engineering anxiety, imposter syndrome, women in STEM, early‑career engineering, technical skill development, and the pressure to perform in male‑dominated spaces. It’s about the quiet panic of feeling behind, the fear of being exposed as “not technical enough,” and the reality that many women in engineering didn’t grow up with hands‑on experience - and still became exceptional engineers.

If you’ve ever felt intimidated by classmates who seemed more experienced, or colleagues who talk about tinkering like it’s a prerequisite for engineering success, you’re not alone. If you’ve ever felt embarrassed not knowing which tool to grab, or worried that your background wasn’t “engineering enough,” this episode will make you feel seen. And if you’ve ever convinced yourself you didn’t belong in STEM, this story will remind you that belonging isn’t built in childhood - it’s built through persistence, curiosity, and showing up even when your brain is loudly spiraling.

This episode is for women in engineering, STEM students, early‑career engineers, and anyone navigating the messy, emotional side of technical growth. It’s for the people who didn’t grow up fixing things - and still became engineers anyway.

Catch the full story, the panic, the growth, and the confidence arc in today’s episode. And remember: you don’t need a tinkering childhood to build an engineering future.

Welcome back to She’s Been Through Some Engineering Shit, the podcast where we unpack the career lessons that somehow never made it to our inboxes - probably because the memo went straight to spam. Today’s episode dives into the workplace truth I missed for most of my professional life: doing great work is not the strategy we were promised. Real career development - especially for women in engineering and women in STEM - comes from visibility, intentional growth, and unlearning the outdated habits we absorbed long before we ever stepped into a lab, plant, or conference room.

For years, I believed the myth: keep your head down, work hard, be reliable, and eventually someone will notice. Spoiler: no one noticed. And that’s the entire reason this podcast exists. Women in engineering do not need another “just be confident!” pep talk. If confidence alone worked, we’d have women running every boardroom in America. What we actually need is the truth - the messy, unglamorous, deeply human truth about how careers grow in environments where you’re often the only woman in the room, navigating engineering culture, unspoken rules, and expectations that were never designed with us in mind.

This episode is the honest version of career development. Not the polished LinkedIn post. Not the corporate‑approved leadership seminar. I’m talking about the awkward lessons, the accidental breakthroughs, the quiet realizations, and the strategies that actually move your career forward when you’re navigating male‑dominated engineering spaces. If you’ve ever felt like you were doing everything “right” and still not getting traction, this episode is your permission slip to rethink the entire playbook and redefine what growth looks like in STEM.

I break down how my early years in defense shaped my assumptions about what engineering careers were supposed to look like - structure, silence, staying in my lane, keeping my head down, and hoping someone noticed. Defense taught me discipline, rigor, and how to operate in environments where hierarchy was treated like gospel. But when I transitioned into corporate life, I realized I needed to completely reboot my operating system. Corporate taught me that discipline alone wasn’t going to get me promoted. I had to learn visibility - literal, physical visibility. Being seen. Being present. Being in the rooms where decisions were made, even when I didn’t feel ready.

You’ll hear how moving my desk closer to senior leaders changed my trajectory more than any certification ever did. You’ll hear how showing up, speaking up, and letting people actually see me created opportunities I didn’t even know existed. And you’ll hear the moment I led a leadership meeting and realized something that permanently lowered my anxiety: people with fancy titles are just people with laptops, mild confusion, and the same “wait, what are we doing again” energy as everyone else.

This episode is for every woman in engineering, STEM, or any male‑dominated field trying to build a career with intention - not perfection. It’s for the women who’ve been told to “just be confident,” as if confidence alone could bulldoze structural barriers. It’s for the women who’ve been doing excellent work for years and still feel invisible. It’s for the women who are ready to grow but aren’t sure what growth actually looks like in environments where they’re often the only one like them. It’s for anyone trying to navigate STEM career development, build leadership skills, and create sustainable, authentic visibility without burning out.

This is the real playbook - built from lived experience, trial and error, and the kind of honesty that actually helps people grow. No fluff. No corporate jargon. Just the truth about what it really takes to build a career as a woman in engineering and STEM.

Enjoy!