Welcome to a deeply personal episode of She's So Mental with your host Nicole. Today, I'm letting you in on my raw and unfiltered reflections about heartbreak, grief, and the messy journey towards healing when the love of your life doesn't love you back. This isn't your typical advice session filled with tips and solutions. Instead, it's a heartfelt conversation by me to me for maybe you too. Its for those who've ever grieved someone still alive, those who've loved so deeply they lost parts of themselves, and those who've kept hoping despite the heartbreak.

This episode is dedicated to the quiet pain and lingering sorrow that isn't always acknowledged. It's for the heartbreaks that aren't tied to dramatic breakups or clear endings, but rather what happens when someone slowly lets you go while you hold on. It's a conversation about the invisible, aching kind of grief that gets no casseroles or sympathetic glances because he's still out there choosing anything but you.

We will explore:

If you've ever stayed too long. If your healing still unravels with one song, one scent, one memory. If you're tired of pretending you're over it when you're not. If you've ever found yourself rebuilding a shattered vision of love, this episode might bring some comfort and company. It's here to remind you that there’s nothing wrong with still yearning for him or with slowly piecing yourself back together from a love that wasn’t what it seemed. Remember, you're not alone in this—healing doesn't happen in a straight line. I'll be keeping you company on this journey, as we navigate through those emotions together.

This is not advice. It's confession. Reflection. A survival story in slow motion.

Hey friends, I'm Nicole Marshall, and welcome to She's So Mental. This isn't just a podcast; it's a journey we take together, discovering the profound realization that we're never really alone, especially when life feels overwhelming. Grab your tea, matcha, or that glass of wine you promised to save for Friday but desperately needed on a Tuesday, and settle in for a heart-to-heart.

Let me take you back to my childhood, a time marked by the magic only my grandmother could provide. Her warmth was my fortress. But life wasn't gentle for long. I faced unspeakable trauma, and forging a path to healing seemed impossible. Self-harm filled the void until the military offered a structured escape, albeit one with its own darkness. Despite the scars left by loss and grief, I found resilience in unexpected corners: the therapy of cooking, the catharsis of writing, and the anthem in Taylor Swift's lyrics when words failed me.

My journey with mental health has been tumultuous, with moments that nearly took me to the brink. There were times when the burden was too heavy, and reaching out was a monumental challenge. But with time, therapy, and a small 'tribe' of steadfast supporters, I rebuilt. Special thanks to Brooke, my therapist, who stayed when others had gone, and my psychiatrist Dr. Haynes, who sat with me in silence, allowing clarity to unfold. And Savannah, dear friend, your voice is the balm to my soul, always there when I fall apart.

Now, as I step into the unknown of motherhood, I carry the legacy of those who have held me through my weakest moments. My daughter's name, Brooklyn Nataliana, reflects the strength and love of the incredible individuals who helped me become the person I am today. They are the true map of my life's journey, and I hope to pass on their compassion and resilience.

She's So Mental is my love letter to the brave souls who continue to show up despite the odds. Here, we'll talk about the real stuff: therapy, trauma, fertility, and finding joy in friendship. We'll cry, laugh, and probably dance to some Taylor Swift and Juvenile, because healing is messy but it's also beautiful. Remember, you are not too much. Your feelings are valid, and your story, no matter how tangled, is worthy of being told. Stay gentle with yourselves, and see you next week, ready to tackle another week of becoming.