What happens when men realize the promises of traditional masculinity—power, wealth, dominance—are either unattainable or ultimately unsatisfying? This groundbreaking conversation with sex educators Dr. Karen Rayne and Corbin Knight-Dixon reveals the hidden grief process many men experience when confronting these realities.

Twenty years into their work in sexuality education, our guests have witnessed seismic shifts in how masculinity functions in society. While much public discourse focuses on "toxic masculinity," they argue this framing misses something crucial: the profound grief and isolation many men feel when navigating their gender identity in today's world. This grief, often unacknowledged and unprocessed, drives many young men toward communities that offer simple answers and validation—from online forums to religious groups to political movements promising a return to traditional gender roles.

Dr. Rayne shares a fascinating story about working with middle school boys who had been disciplined for sexist behavior. When she asked them to draw what masculinity meant to them, one drew Donald Trump, explaining he represented power and wealth. When she gently unpacked Trump's problematic statements about women, the boy was genuinely shocked and immediately rejected that model. This illuminating moment shows how rarely adults engage young men in thoughtful conversations about gender.

Throughout our discussion, one theme emerges repeatedly: the desperate need for kindness in our approach to masculinity. "Finding the way to listen from the quiet parts of your own self to the quiet parts of someone else, that's what we really need more of," Dr. Rayne explains. Rather than shaming men or using language that alienates them, our guests advocate for creating spaces where vulnerability is welcomed and grief can be processed.

Despite the challenging political climate, both experts express optimism about the future of masculinity. They're seeing more young men show up in their classes, asking thoughtful questions and engaging in new ways. "We are seeing the future of masculinity now," Corbin notes. "It's not hypothetical, we're practicing it."

Want to learn more about creating healthier models of masculinity? Visit unhushed.org and corbinknightdixon.com to explore resources and educational materials.

More about our guests:

Dr. Karen Rayne has been working in education for the past two decades with an expertise in sexuality education across the lifespan. She is the cofounder of UN|HUSHED, where she writes and edits books and lifespan comprehensive sexuality curricula, trains sexuality educators, and builds collaborative coalitions. She is also an Assistant Professor of Instruction at The University of Texas. Karen has worked with local, national, and international organizations. Oh and she's written a lot of books..like a LOT - and they are amazing!  I suggest searching on Bookshop.org to find her work.

Corbin Knight-Dixon (he/him), MS, is a facilitator and learning specialist focused on anti-violence, sexuality education, LGBTQ+ health, and anti-racist health equity. His work centers on reimagining masculinity, driving systems change, and building programs that strengthen community relationships and collective care.

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What if we reimagined our relationship with power? What if God wasn't an all-powerful ruler but instead a midwife, standing alongside us through life's messiest moments?

In this deeply moving conversation, returning guest Halley Kim introduces a revolutionary framework for understanding power dynamics in religion and politics. Drawing from her background in midwifery and her personal journey away from evangelical Christianity, Halley explores three distinct forms of power: power over, power together, and power within.

The dominant "power over" model is exemplified by dictators like Trump and the authoritarian God of many religious traditions – entities who control through force, manipulation, and fear. This framework sets people up for spiritual trauma when suffering inevitably occurs, leaving them wondering why an all-powerful God didn't save them from pain.

As an alternative, Halley presents the midwifery model as a profound metaphor for "power together." Midwives don't save women from the pain of childbirth; they bear witness, provide support, and accompany women through their journey. This solidarity creates space for individuals to access their own inner strength – their "power within."

The conversation takes an emotional turn when Hallie introduces her concept of "God as a midwife" – a divine presence that doesn't control everything but instead stands with us through life's challenges. This reimagining of spirituality offers healing possibilities for those with complicated relationships to religion and provides a framework for understanding community power in our current political landscape.

Whether you're wrestling with questions of faith, seeking to understand power dynamics in your own life, or simply looking for hope in challenging times, this conversation offers profound insights into how we might transform our relationship with power and with each other.

More about Halley:

Halley Kim is a writer and freelance editor in St. Louis, MO. Sheʼs also a former evangelical pastorʼs wife turned leftist heretic. In her nursing career she worked primarily with mothers and babies, also taking on the roles of doula, lactation consultant, midwifeʼs assistant, and educator. Halley spent a stint working in pastoral ministry herself within a progressive denomination (United Church of Christ). Halley is currently writing a book about power dynamics and Christianity, where she argues that a power-WITH God, such as a midwife, would have a dramatically more positive effect on society than the power-OVER God weʼve inherited. She and her husband Simon have three children, Gabriel, Phoebe, and Tabitha, and one fur-baby, Bruno. You can access her work on Instagram @maybe_gods_a_midwife or on Substack @halleywkim

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Deborah Burgess returns to discuss power dynamics, religion, and the politics of hate in these unprecedented times. We share insights on how hatred has been weaponized throughout history and is currently being employed in American politics to create division.

• Frederick Douglass's prescient 1865 warning about societal oppression and its consequences
• How late-stage capitalism fuels political division and prioritizes profit over people
• The concept of "otherism" and how it's used to create fear and consolidate power
• The concerning intersection of religious identity with nationalist politics
• Personal strategies for maintaining sanity and purpose in challenging times
• Finding radical joy as an act of resistance against the politics of hate
• The importance of critical thinking and creating salon-like spaces for genuine dialogue

Check out the show notes, accessibility transcript, and all guest links at shitwedonttalkaboutpodcast.com.

About Deborah Burgess:

Deborah has 21 years of university teaching experience including teaching in Beijing, China at the University of Colorado Denver's Global Campus for six years. This was a tremendous experience teaching students courses in Business and Professional Speaking, Public Speaking, and Essential Communication in a Global Society. Additionally Deborah has consulting/training experience working domestically for non-profits, federal, state and private industry in Diversity Equity and Inclusion, Gender and Communication and Appropriate Business Communication in Corporate Settings. Deborah conducted training classes at Beijing Foreign Studies University in China teaching mid-level executives of China Construction Bank and China Southern Airlines skills/tools in the American Mass Media and Communication. Her belief is: “I’m not a teacher, but an awakener.” ~ Robert Frost

Connect with Deborah:

LinkedIn

More about Deborah

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Deborah Burgess returns to discuss the evolution of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives from the 1960s to present day, exploring how what began with the Civil Rights movement has grown into a projected $24.4 billion global industry by 2030.

• History of DEI from the 1960s with affirmative action to today's comprehensive approaches
• Notable milestones including the first Employee Resource Group at Xerox in the 1970s
• Americans with Disabilities Act signed by George H.W. Bush in 1991
• How social movements like Me Too (founded by Tarana Burke) and Black Lives Matter shaped modern DEI
• Current backlash against DEI initiatives and how terminology may evolve while the work continues
• DEI's global growth despite political challenges, with companies recognizing both moral and business imperatives
• The importance of courage in continuing to advocate for equity and inclusion
• White allies' responsibility to have difficult conversations and call in problematic behavior

About Deborah Burgess:

Deborah has 21 years of university teaching experience including teaching in Beijing, China at the University of Colorado Denver's Global Campus for six years. This was a tremendous experience teaching students courses in Business and Professional Speaking, Public Speaking, and Essential Communication in a Global Society. Additionally Deborah has consulting/training experience working domestically for non-profits, federal, state and private industry in Diversity Equity and Inclusion, Gender and Communication and Appropriate Business Communication in Corporate Settings. Deborah conducted training classes at Beijing Foreign Studies University in China teaching mid-level executives of China Construction Bank and China Southern Airlines skills/tools in the American Mass Media and Communication. Her belief is: “I’m not a teacher, but an awakener.” ~ Robert Frost

Connect with Deborah:

LinkedIn

More about Deborah

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What happens when a lifetime of political loyalty no longer feels like enough? Deborah Burgess, scholar and education leader, takes us on a deeply personal journey from dedicated Democrat to politically unaffiliated voter during one of America's most turbulent political eras.

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The decision didn't come easily. After returning from six years in China where she helped build educational opportunities for children with disabilities, Deborah committed herself to Democratic Party activism. She worked tirelessly as a volunteer, house district captain, and eventually secretary, believing in the power of civic engagement. But something changed after watching how Democrats responded—or failed to respond—to aggressive political tactics from the right.

"Democrats are too quiet," Deborah explains with characteristic frankness. "They sit back and let stuff fly." Drawing on her background as a judo champion, she compares the current political climate to a match where "Democrats are getting choked and they're not fighting." This observation comes from someone who's seen the political landscape from multiple angles and continents.

Our conversation explores the realities of voter suppression targeting Black and Brown communities, the alarming parallels between America's current situation and Hungary under Viktor Orbán, and the rise of Christian nationalism. We discuss how traditional Democratic messaging fails to resonate with younger generations and the importance of staying politically engaged even when party affiliation no longer feels right.

Deborah offers practical action items for concerned citizens: familiarize yourself with the Constitution, diversify your information sources, watch corporate media critically, and engage at the local level. Most importantly, she urges listeners to think independently and draw their own conclusions rather than accepting singular narratives.

Ready to rethink what political engagement means in today's America? Listen now, and join us for future conversations with Debra about DEI misconceptions and why more African Americans are considering leaving the US. Subscribe, leave a review, and visit shitwedonttalkaboutpodcast.com for an accessibility transcript and more resources.

About Deborah Burgess:

Deborah has 21 years of university teaching experience including teaching in Beijing, China at the University of Colorado Denver's Global Campus for six years. This was a tremendous experience teaching students courses in Business and Professional Speaking, Public Speaking, and Essential Communication in a Global Society. Additionally Deborah has consulting/training experience working domestically for non-profits, federal, state and private industry in Diversity Equity and Inclusion, Gender and Communication and Appropriate Business Communication in Corporate Settings. Deborah conducted training classes at Beijing Foreign Studies University in China teaching mid-level executives of China Construction Bank and China Southern Airlines skills/tools in the American Mass Media and Communication. Her belief is: “I’m not a teacher, but an awakener.” ~ Robert Frost

Connect with Deborah:

LinkedIn

More about Deborah

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"Nobody listened to our ideas, so we decided to take over the market." That fearless approach is how Cecilia Lihv went from cleaning houses as an immigrant to owning a European men's professional football club.

In this captivating conversation, Cecilia shares her extraordinary journey from the toxicity of Wall Street to becoming one of only five women in Europe who own professional men's soccer teams. When faced with resistance in a nonprofit soccer organization run by ego-driven board members who ignored her innovative proposals, Cecilia didn't just walk away—she built something better. Her youth club in Connecticut grew to nearly 1,000 children before COVID-19 forced a pivotal decision.

Rather than waiting out the pandemic, Cecilia sold everything, moved her children to Costa Rica, and established a professional soccer development center that thrived while American facilities remained closed. That bold move led to purchasing her first professional team and eventually taking ownership of a historic Romanian club dating back to 1921.

As Cecilia navigates the male-dominated European football world, she brings a refreshing perspective that combines business acumen with genuine care for player development. Her insights on gender inequality in sports are particularly powerful, questioning why the successful US women's national team receives a fraction of the resources given to the men's team.

Beyond sports, Cecilia speaks passionately about the immigrant experience, having arrived in America at 18 with two suitcases and worked as a nanny and cleaning lady before building her career. Her story is a masterclass in creating new paths when traditional ones are blocked and refusing to accept limitations placed by others.

Listen now and discover why sometimes the most effective way to break a glass ceiling isn't by shattering it—but by building something entirely new alongside it.

More about Cecilia:

Cecilia Lihv is a pioneering female entrepreneur making bold moves in the male-dominated world of professional football. She is the president and owner of a historic men’s football club in Europe, SoccerViza, where she’s leading a powerful revival both on and off the pitch. With over 25 years of experience building businesses across industries—from retail to real estate—she brings a fearless, results-driven mindset to everything she does.

Beyond the boardroom, she's a proud single mom raising three children, proving every day that strength, strategy, and heart go hand in hand. Her story is one of resilience, passion, and redefining the rules in sports and business.

www.soccerviza.com

SoccerViza Instagram

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From the dangerous realities of America's maternal healthcare system to the surprising origins of the anti-abortion movement, this episode with Halley Kim exposes truths about women's health that demand our attention.

Halley brings a uniquely powerful perspective as a former evangelical pastor's wife, registered nurse, doula, and lactation consultant who has witnessed firsthand the dangers women face during pregnancy and childbirth. Her harrowing account of watching a doula client die in the immediate postpartum period illustrates what statistics confirm: America has the worst maternal mortality rate among all developed nations despite spending the most on healthcare, with Black women facing 3-5 times higher risk than white women.

The conversation examines how current abortion bans are creating deadly situations for women with pregnancy complications, including cases where women are being criminalized for miscarriages. "Women are not being believed," Mia notes, referencing how even tennis star Serena Williams nearly died in childbirth because medical professionals dismissed her concerns—a problem that affects women of color at alarming rates.

Most eye-opening is the revelation about the strategic adoption of abortion as a political cause. As Halley explains, evangelical Christians didn't always focus on abortion until the "moral majority" needed a more palatable issue than opposing school desegregation. "It was never about abortion for the moral majority," she reveals. "It was about white supremacy." This historical context helps explain the disconnect between professed "pro-life" values and policies that endanger women's lives.

Despite the gravity of these topics, the episode offers pathways for hope and action. From supporting mutual aid networks to engaging in local politics and raising socially conscious children, Halley and Mia emphasize that individual actions matter. As fascism threatens democratic principles and Project 2025 looms, they remind listeners that staying informed and engaged is not optional—it's essential for protecting human rights.

Follow Halley @maybe_gods_a_midwife on Instagram for more insights on women's health, religious deconstruction, and social justice. This conversation represents the start of an important series you won't want to miss.

More about Halley:

Halley Kim is a writer and freelance editor in St. Louis, MO. Sheʼs also a former evangelical pastorʼs wife turned leftist heretic. In her nursing career she worked primarily with mothers and babies, also taking on the roles of doula, lactation consultant, midwifeʼs assistant, and educator. Halley spent a stint working in pastoral ministry herself within a progressive denomination (United Church of Christ). Halley is currently writing a book about power dynamics and Christianity, where she argues that a power-WITH God, such as a midwife, would have a dramatically more positive effect on society than the power-OVER God weʼve inherited. She and her husband Simon have three children, Gabriel, Phoebe, and Tabitha, and one fur-baby, Bruno. You can access her work on Instagram @maybe_gods_a_midwife or on Substack @halleywkim

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What if the parts of your life you're most ashamed of are actually the foundation of your greatest strengths?

Meet Sherry Lynne Williams, a woman who has walked an extraordinary path from drug addiction and prostitution to becoming a respected environmental scientist with government clearances. In this profound conversation, Sherry shares how she transformed societal shame into personal sovereignty by fully owning every chapter of her remarkable journey.

"My passion today is for everyone to realize that this journey we're on is amazing, beautiful, and very personal, and there's not one damn moment of it that we need to be ashamed of," Sherry explains. Rather than hiding or erasing her past, she embraced it as the foundation that made her who she is today—compassionate, strong, and uniquely qualified to understand the human condition.

We explore how shame functions as a weapon of isolation, particularly for women, and how perfectionism serves patriarchal structures by keeping us disconnected from our authentic selves and each other. Sherry introduces the concept of the "shame salve"—how we sometimes tell our stories seeking sympathy rather than sharing wisdom—and offers a more empowering alternative.

The conversation delves into how viewing our life experiences as valuable "data points" allows us to integrate our shadows into our strength. When we stand in our sovereignty, owning all aspects of our journey, we become impervious to judgment and name-calling while creating space for others to embrace their own stories.

Ready to alchemize your shame into personal power? Listen to this episode, check out Sherry's book "Not Your Average Drug Addict Whore: A Life So Wrong It Went Right," and begin the transformative process of owning your whole, magnificent self.

About Sherry:

Sherry’s heroine’s journey is moving and inspiring. One cannot help but consider their own bravery as a possibility after hearing her story. Sherry looks to expand a sense of hope and direction in communities across the world. Her career has been varied, successful and fulfilling. As a scientist, teacher, storyteller, and coach she is an enigma of expectation. Sherry is a captivating storyteller. It has become her passion to create a spoken journey that others might relate to. Through sharing her pivotal, moving, and sometimes dark journey, Sherry opens herself to allow her audience to feel their own potential open

https://wisdomsgateway.com/

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What happens when we finally break the silence about one of humanity's most natural yet stigmatized experiences? Periods affect half the world's population, yet remain shrouded in shame and misunderstanding. This candid conversation bridges generations and cultures as Mia and and her guest Urmi Hossain share their personal experiences with menstruation across different backgrounds.

The stigma begins early—Urmi recalls being forbidden from attending school classes about periods, while advertisements portrayed menstruation as a joyful experience with blue liquid instead of blood. Both women share cringe-worthy stories of workplace period emergencies and the complex mental gymnastics required to hide a perfectly normal bodily function from colleagues. Their experiences, despite being decades apart, remain disturbingly similar.

The statistics are sobering: 30% of adolescents lack access to needed menstrual products, while 64% of adults report being unable to afford period products at some point in the past year. Globally, 500 million people lack access to basic menstrual necessities. Beyond the physical challenges, cultural taboos label menstruating women as "impure" and restrict their participation in religious and community activities.

This episode doesn't just identify problems—it explores solutions, from workplace "period days" to better education for everyone, especially men. As Mia pointedly suggests, "If men had periods, there would be baskets of tampons and Advil everywhere." The conversation concludes with information about organizations working to address these issues, including Women in Leadership Canada and Femme Influence.

Whether you menstruate or not, this conversation offers critical insights into an experience that shapes lives, workplaces, and communities. Breaking the taboo isn't just about comfort—it's about dignity, equality, and recognizing biological realities that affect millions. Listen, learn, and join us in normalizing this essential conversation.

Urmi Hossain is a woman who wears many hats.; Urmi is a self-published author, speaker, blogger, polyglot, mentor, and holder of both the CFA ( Chartered Financial Analyst) and CAIA ( Chartered Alternative Investment Analyst) designations. She works in the financial services industry in Canada, where she lives.

Her first book, Discovering Your Identity: A Rebirth from Interracial Struggle, reflects her journey as a third-culture kid.

Passionate about women’s empowerment, Urmi is the Social Media Lead for Women in Leadership’s Victoria Chapter and the Campaign Manager at Femme Influence. 

She is a big proponent of learning and self-development; one of her passions is public speaking. She has been part of the Toastmasters club since 2019, where she served as both VP of Education and President.

She enjoys reading thrillers and mystery books and working out in her free time, such as boxing, HIIT workouts, and running.

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What if everything you've been told about menopause and metabolism has been fundamentally wrong? In this eye-opening conversation with Dr. Sam Graber, we challenge the "linear path" narrative that has been sold to women for generations and explore how our metabolic health forms the foundation for navigating menopause with greater ease.

Dr. Sam doesn't pull any punches as she explains why the medical system isn't designed to guide you toward optimal health—only to identify disease. "I don't recommend going to your doctor to learn about health," she candidly states, offering instead a framework for understanding how your body actually works. We dive deep into the metabolic underpinnings of women's health, exploring how insulin resistance, stress hormones, and nutritional choices directly impact your menopause experience.

The conversation takes a powerful turn when we address how Gen X women (now all in perimenopause or menopause) were completely unprepared for this transition. We discuss how to bridge this knowledge gap for younger generations while providing practical guidance for women of all ages to understand their unique metabolic needs. Dr. Sam offers clear, actionable advice on nutrition priorities, starting with quality protein and health-supporting fats, while warning against the "pill for every ill" mentality that has dominated women's healthcare.

Perhaps most empowering is Dr. Sam's call for personal sovereignty over your health journey: "No one's coming to save you—that's the good news and the bad news." Every food choice, every lifestyle decision either builds your health or moves you toward dysfunction. The choice, as Dr. Sam reminds us, is entirely yours—and you can step into the driver's seat at any moment, regardless of your past choices or current health status.

Curious about taking control of your metabolic health during menopause? Listen now and discover why the most powerful lever you can pull is what—and when—you eat. Your body is talking. Are you ready to listen?

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