Should We Get Married? with Maxson and Emily

We talk to Miles and Elektra, a legally married polyamorous couple, about what marriage means when it's not grounded in sexual exclusivity. They make the case that non-monogamy actually strengthens their commitment: loving others keeps their lives fresh, and building their marriage on shared values instead of exclusivity gives them a sturdier foundation when conflict arises. We also learn that Elektra is planning a "fourgy," aka, a fortieth birthday play party, for Miles at their favorite venue. At the end of the episode, Maxson and Emily reflect: what values do we ground our own relationship in?

We talk to Julia Funke, an immigration lawyer, about if getting married will help Emily get Maxson's EU citizenship. We also talk about the "love test," which is how the government figures out if you have a real relationship and sometimes involves sending more-than-intimate texts from your personal life to an immigration officer. At the end of the episode, Maxson and Emily go through the primary sources of their life that they would share with the government to prove the legitimacy of their love.

We talk to Isabel Gillies, a mother of two whose first husband fell in love with someone else, about whether marriage actually prevents couples from breaking up. She shares her theory that everyone has multiple soulmates over the course of a lifetime, and you are going to meet some of them after you get married. At the end of the episode, Maxson and Emily get real: what's our actual game plan if one of us starts developing feelings for someone else?

We ask Deb, a trauma nurse, if it's true that you can be blocked from entering the emergency room to visit your partner if you aren't legally married. We also talk about who gets decision-making priority if you are on life support. She tells us a heart wrenching story from her early days in the ER that prompted her to reverse her take on marriage with her then-boyfriend, and they went that same week to get a domestic partnership, and then later, get legally married.

We talk to Esme, a 12-year-old, and her dad PF, about their unusual family structure. Esme’s parents were never legally married, so we get to ask her: what was that like? Did you feel like your parents were more likely to break up? Any issues while traveling? And are you, Esme, interested in getting married yourself one day? And much more.

Maxson and Emily are four years into dating, and our love is the real deal — we want to have kids and a family together. But getting legally married? That’s not as obvious to us, so we’re making a podcast where we figure it out with friends, family, experts, and ultimately, each other.