Show Me The Way

When you're rushing through the mayhem of life it is sometimes hard to stop and consider what someone would actually want as a gift. New mum. Flowers. Tick. Mother-in-law Birthday. Flowers. Tick.

Best friend's heart break. Flowers. Tick.

But Steph Douglas, the founder of the alternative gift company Don't Buy Her Flowers has another idea – gifts that require no effort but that produce a little pocket of TLC.

In this episode Steph tells the story of how life can get in the way of connecting properly to those around us. She set up her company to help those connections go a bit deeper through thoughtful gifts that people actually want. She gives tips on the best thing to say to a new mum ("you must be shattered" doesn't cut it), advises you not knock the day job (having a salary and colleagues to chew the cud with shouldn't be underestimated) and how it's ok to lower your domestic standards to get just get on with life!

Kim Palmer was in the middle of a major presentation for her company when she had a panic attack. That led her confidence to spiral downwards...out of control until eventually she couldn't speak at meetings and would delegate juniors to do it in her place. She went on long journey of therapy to find the thing that worked for her. On this episode Kim explains how hypnotherapy worked for her and how it was so good she founded an app to enable others to find help.

2020 may have been a washout but that doesn't mean 2021 has to be the same.

The guest in this episode has used property to propel herself into a different life.

Ayesha Ofori started life as a banker. She advised very rich people about how to get richer effectively! Whilst doing that she was building a property portfolio on the side. When she started making more money from property than from banking she ditched the day job and put all her focus into bricks and mortar.

Since then she has set up organisations to help other people who wouldn't normally have access to resources, networks and funds.

In this episode she explains how property had an empowering impact on her life and how she's using her knowledge to inspire others.

For Emmeline's bookshelf for her age now Ayesha recommended Maybe by Kobi Yamada which she explains is a story about the endless potential in all of us. And for Emmeline in the future she recommended Becoming by Michelle Obama. Ayesha found so many things in it about being a woman, race, dealing with failure and raising a family.

Imposter syndrome can cause a constant fear of being found out - you feel like a fraud and are paralysed by the idea you're not good enough and you're going to be humiliated.

Saatchi and Saatchi's former Vice Chair, Rita Clifton CBE has the answer.

In this episode of Show Me The Way she debunks the "fake it 'til you make it" myth and advises us to be properly prepared with personal branding, financial literacy, and perfecting the art of excellent communication.

Love Your Imposter: Be Your Best Self, Flaws and All is out now.

For Emmeline's bookshelf Rita recommended the Ruby Ferguson Jill series.

It's safe to say that watching people be intimate on screen can either be electrifying or extremely cringe-making and if we feel that as the audience, imagine how it feels as an actor.

That's where the intimacy co-ordinator comes in. This relatively new role in film, TV and theatre facilitates conversations first between the actors about what they're comfortable with doing and then acts as liaison between them and producers, directors and crew. It not only helps to set boundaries but also enables deeper conversations about why the scene is there and how to make it the best representation of that moment between two consenting adults.

Ita O'Brien is the leading light in this field, pioneering an intimacy playbook on how to do this work with the highest possible standards. She started out as an actor and then became a movement director and is now the go-to for this type of work.

Some of the most compelling scenes of 2020 (lockdown) TV have been as a result of her input. Remember the unhurried sex between Marianne and Connell in Normal People; when Arabella doesn't give her consent to sex without a condom in I May Destroy You and the exploration of sex in all its guises in Sex Education....she's the magic sauce behind all these.

Hear how she got to where she is today and how she creates the beautiful, consensual, compelling scenes that she does.

Anna Downes is the author of this Summer's most addictive crime thriller The Safe Place. It's her debut novel and in this episode she reveals her journey from actress to mother to author and how the writing process helped ease anxiety that she was suffering.

Anna grew up in Sheffield and started life as an actress having trained at RADA. She went on to do roles in EastEnders, Casualty, Holby City as well as a long running stage production of The Dresser in the West End.

In 2009 she left the UK to go travelling around the world before settling in Australia. The safe place is partly inspired by working as a live-in housekeeper/caretaker on the French coast during her travels.

In this episode of Show Me The Way we talk about how the story came to her, the writing process, how she got published and the pressure of a second novel.

Anna's debut is out in the UK August 2020: The Safe Place Anna's recommendations for Emmeline's bookshelf: Big Magic and The Girls

Synopsis: Emily Proudman has been offered the chance of a lifetime - leave her messy London life, move to a beautiful estate in France and help her boss's wife take care of their daughter. It seems like the perfect opportunity to start again. But once there, Emily soon starts to suspect that her charismatic new employers aren't telling her the whole truth. That there are even dangerous secrets hidden beneath the glamorous facade.

Katherine Moore is Head Coach at Track Record. She spent 10 years in sport working with multiple Olympic champions — she was Head of Sports Science and Medicine for British Canoeing and Lead Physiotherapist for The English Institute of Sport.

In those roles she used biometric measures to help improve performance and she now applies those methods in the business world helping FTSE 100 bosses and others improve their stress resilience and confidence. In this episode we talk about those methods: how to take control of your confidence and unleash your potential by exploring her four domains of resilience that will enable you to perform at your best: the physical (how well you're sleeping, nutrition, recovery); mental (what's your mental load); the emotional (how good are you at self regulating and shifting out of negative moods) and identity (what are your values and what do you want your legacy to be).

Emmeline's bookshelf: Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls

Katherine's book: Take control of your confidence: The inside track to unleashing your potential

"I walk into diamond bourses around the world. I'm the only black person. I'm the only black woman. People expect me to fail. Yes I'm a small fish in this big pond full of sharks but I don't care. Things have to change. We will try to fix it because it's our own people."

Vania Leles is the first African woman to own a fine jewellery store on London's Bond Street. That's pretty remarkable in itself but her journey to this point is even more so.

Vania Leles is shortlisted for Veuve Clicquot BOLD woman award 2020

Vania was born in Guinea-Bissau - a small country on West Africa's Atlantic coast and moved to Lisbon to be educated when she was six.

She saved all her money to do an English course at SOAS, working in restaurants to pay her bills and eventually took a job as a social worker in Camden but then got scouted by Select Models and landed a massive Diesel campaign.

That campaign would pay her four times what she would have made in a year so she decided to become a model full-time and moved to New York. She came up with the idea for her business Vanleles Diamonds when on a photo shoot in New York.

It was whilst on a photo shoot on New York that she started to release that although 75-80% of the gems that exist in fine jewellery comes from the continent but as she says "it's absurd that we don't have representation on this side of the industry - more African fine jewellery brands, more African diamond dealers across the bourses of this world." Because as she says, "how come countries do not produce an ounce of diamonds and they trade all the diamonds in the world....We have to be human enough to realise that is unfair."

Recommendation for Emmeline's bookshelf: I Can Be Anything. Don't Tell me I Can't by Diane Dillon

Every couple wants a happy relationship and a meaningful career but how do we balance both especially when we're both at home, sharing office space and childcare? That's the question for this week's guest Professor Jennifer Petriglieri.

Professor Jennifer Petriglieri, author of Couples That Work

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO SHOW ME THE WAY WITH PROF PETRIGLIERI She is a Professor of Organizational Behaviour at INSEAD, Paris and has pent over a decade researching how people's close relationships shape who they become professionally and personally, and for the past 6 years she's been studying the lives of dual-career couples which has culminated in her book Couples That Work: How Dual-Career Couples Can Thrive In Love And Work. One of the biggest career decisions you will make is who you choose as a partner, she says. And one of the things that the global covid lockdown has highlighted for some is that they've made the wrong decision. There are many couples who are spending all this time together but feel like they're drifting apart. She says a lot of couples who she is speaking to are feeling the strain because they're polarising in terms of how they're reacting to the crisis and it's putting a lot of strain on the relationship itself. Professor Petriglieri asks us to consider when the last time was that we had an annual review with our partners as you would at work. Possibly/ probably never!

She says that right now just a little time each day to check in with each other can make the world of difference. It can be over lunch to find out how the morning has gone or whilst cooking dinner. In the episode she explains that the more we understand about our partner and the more they understand about us, the more it flicks us into an mindset of empathy. "When we're in that mindset of empathy we are much more likely to be sensitive to each other and to support each other. So it's a win, win and it doesn't take a lot of time". Her recommendation for Emmeline's bookshelf is Sophie's World. Her book is Couples That Work: How Dual-Career Couples Can Thrive In Love And Work.

"There were so many moments especially in that first six months after I left [Tom Ford] where I thought: "What have I done? I've thrown away my career." Whitney Bromberg Hawkings is the founder of FlowerBX - the go-to florist for the fashion set. Its clients include Louis Vuitton, Dior and Jimmy Choo. But her ambition for the business has always been to democratise flowers, bringing that little bit of luxury to all. Whitney learnt the art of luxury working for 19 years for Tom Ford, first as his PA when he was at Gucci and climbing up the ladder to become his Senior Vice President of Communications. But she says, after her third child she knew she wanted something different. In this episode of the podcast we talk about that something different. - finding a solution to a problem that she kept having - how she never dreamt of being a PA but realised that this was the opportunity of a lifetime and her way in - how hard graft really does pay off even when you doubt yourself - the importance of relationships and friendships in keeping your dreams alive - And her recommendation for Emmeline's bookshelf written by her rather famous friend.... Recommendation for Emmeline's bookshelf: The Boy in the Dress, David Walliams