Showing Up To Life

As you know, I always like to write an email to convey some of what is included in the episode of the day.

But today’s topic makes that, in some ways, more difficult.

This is, in part, because today’s episode is all about my own personal childhood trauma.

And that should serve as a trigger warning to you; although the stories I tell today are not very violent, they are potentially disturbing.

So I will just let you watch the video:

If anything I say today resonates with you, and you feel like you are suffering from trauma you didn’t know about, I urge you to reach out.

As a coach, my job is to help you implement tools to help you function in the here and now.

But healing trauma requires looking back and understanding what happened to you.

This can be a very difficult task and one that many people can not do alone. There is no shame in needing help.

And if you need help finding help, I will help.

You can reply to this email ([email protected]), or you can claim your free coaching session here:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

I thought today would be a good time to take a little pause and talk about practice.

Specifically, I want to talk about the most simple practices of them all.

Setting intention is so key to mindfulness that it could be called synonymous.

After all, mindfulness is not about stumbling upon random and chance moments of presence, as we all do at some point.

Mindfulness asks us to pay attention on purpose; to pay attention intentionally.

In today’s episode, I talk about the reason and the method for setting an intention each morning (and why it works, along with some tips and advice for establishing this practice for yourself):

As you can see, it doesn’t get any simpler - or easier - than this simple practice.

Therefore, the biggest challenge is going to be remembering to do it,

As I mention in the video, post it notes and lipstick on the bathroom mirror are great tools. But a lot of people require more help. And this is where coaching comes in.

I would love to create a couple of small groups for coaching, which can be far more affordable and every bit as effective as 1:1 coaching.

But if your money is more abundant than your time, 1:1 might make more sense.

The point is that there are many options available to you.

But the first step is always the same: Click this link so we can arrange a time to talk:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

Last night, as I filled my car’s tires with air and my 12 year old daughter sat in the air conditioned car listening to her music, we witnessed someone experiencing road rage, blaring their horn at someone who failed to turn when the light turned green.

Moments later, as we drove down the road, she asked me which car it was.

And right after that, came the most profound and compassionate words:

“But maybe he was doing that because he needs to rush to the hospital because someone he loves is hurt… Or maybe he’s just a selfish jerk.”

In today’s episode, I discuss this in more detail and take a deep dive into how connection gives us a sense of safety and transcends some of our tribal compartmentalizations:

Because it is only through a true and authentic connection to ourselves - our true and authentic selves - that we can find this empathic understanding that will lead to compassion.

If you’d like to learn more about these concepts; if you’d like to experience the coaching that can help you develop this vital connection with yourself that will facilitate your authenticity, I invite you to claim your free coaching session here:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

As my Son turned 10 years old yesterday, I reflected on the old adages I constantly hear from parents:

‘They grow up so fast!’

‘You blink and you miss it!’

‘Where did the time go???’

As a mindfulness coach, I’ve told many parents that it’s not so much that the time went particularly fast or slow.

In fact, time did exactly the same thing time has always done.

The difference is how you paid attention to what was happening as it was happening.

And it has nothing at all to do with how busy you are!!!

As we attend to each arising moment of our lives as parents, we are able to build healthy and vital connections.

Connection to our authentic self and connection to those we love.

In today’s episode, I share a tragic personal story of my father, a man so conditioned by fear he was unable to connect to his authenticity:

If anything I’ve said today resonates with you, I want you to know two things:

First, the time to build connection to your authentic self and those around you is now. In this moment.

Second, it’s never too late!

If you’d like to discuss methods to achieve what I talk about in these daily episodes, I invite you to claim the coaching session that already belongs to you.

You can do that by clicking this link:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

In the beginning of today’s episode, I talk about how to be intentional and authentic on this Father’s Day (And any other holiday!)

Many of us have grown up in relationships with our Fathers that aren’t reflected in the many facebook posts we’ll see today.

And it’s ok to feel that way!

As I mention in the episode today, in many ways it’s not your fault and you are by no means alone!

I hope you enjoy the practice I offer to all you, like me, who are struggling through this day.

In today’s episode, I also talk about connection:

As I illustrate, it is a biological imperative for us to connect to other humans and other mammals (Can’t wait to give my Kitty a hug!)

This means that connection is not some kind of luxury, but is essential to your well being.

And, as I point out in today’s episode, we must connect to ourselves first.

Would you like to be coached in how to build connection to yourself and others?

If you are feeling a Yes to this question, then you can claim your coaching session - it’s already paid for! - by clicking this link:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

If you’ve watched many of my videos or certainly if you’ve attended any of my coaching sessions, you’ve probably heard me say:

“I am not a practicing Buddhist and this is not a Buddhist course.”

And that’s why I find it so perplexing that over half the people with whom I work as a coach invariably come back to me at some point and tell me how much my coaching has helped with their spirituality.

In today’s episode, I go into this topic in some detail and offer some reasons for this phenomenon:

Spirituality is a huge part of our lives!

And contemplating these big existential questions can open us to a deeper sense of purpose and connection, both of which are essential to our emotional and physical well-being.

If you’d like to explore the topic of spirituality with a coach, I invite you to claim your free session here:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

This morning was one of the rare instances in which the planned topic for the day’s episode just didn’t resonate enough to actually go for it.

The original topic was to be an honest accounting of some of the behavior and even abuse that caused me deeper trauma than I am often able to recognize.

As I mention, if I get ten emails to [email protected] asking me to share this story, I’ll do it.

But for today’s episode, I decided to talk about taking time off from the toil but not from our true essence:

Did you like that Bob Marley quote???

If you’d like to get some clarification on any of this topic, or any other topic of mindfulness, you’re welcome to shoot me an email any time.

But you might benefit more from a 45 minute coaching session.

This session has the potential to be life changing!

And you already have a session with your name on it!!!

All you have to do is claim it here:

And if you’re interested in another amazing podcast, consider checking out the Learning to Surf podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/learning-to-surf-ep-1-adam-art-hour-compassion-love/id1512499997?i=1000508643601

And finally, I want to invite you to our guided group meditation and discussion that happens every Saturday morning and Wednesday evening. It’s offered by donation and you can register here:

https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/events/gggcgsyccjbzb/

I am so happy to be back in the routine of journaling every day!

For about five years or so, I journaled for about 5-10 minutes per day almost without fail.

But I kinda considered it a luxury at some point and, as I got busier (I think it was a covid homeschooling thing), I moved away from it.

At first, it was a day skipped here and there.

But after a month or so, the journal stayed on the shelf.

But as you’ve heard me mention a few times recently, I am dealing with some issues in my life that have been challenging on an emotional level.

In today’s episode, I talk about how helpful it’s been to get back into it:

I also talk about some basic procedural points today:

Set a timer for 3-4 minutes…

Don’t stop writing! If you run out of things to write, just write ‘I’ve run out of things to write…’ until something arises. (Something will arise!)...

Use prompts (especially in the first few weeks!)

If you’d like to discuss this more, or if you have anything else you’d like to discuss, I suggest you claim your free coaching session with me here:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

“Often, when we say ‘I love you’ we focus mostly on the ‘I’ who is doing the loving and less on the quality of the love that’s being offered. This is because we are caught by the idea of self. We think we have a self. But there is no such thing as an individual separate self. A flower is made only of non-flower elements, such as chlorophyll, sunlight, and water. If we were to remove all the non-flower elements from the flower, there would be no flower left. A flower cannot be by herself alone. A flower can only inter-be with the rest of us… Humans are like this too. We can’t exist by ourselves alone. We can only inter-be. I am made only of non-me elements, such as the Earth, the sun, parents, and ancestors. In a relationship, if you can see the nature of interbeing between you and the other person, you can see that his suffering is your own suffering, and your happiness is his own happiness. With this way of seeing, you speak and act differently. This in itself can relieve so much suffering.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

I share this quote to illustrate the connection we all have with each other.

But of course, these beautiful and poetic words, written by the venerable Monk, are echoed by modern neuroscientists and researchers, as I mention quite often.

In today’s episode, we take a deep dive into what it means to be connected and how to rewire all the years of belief in this concept of a separate self:

If you have any questions about this or any other topics I cover here, I welcome you to reach out.

You’re welcome to simply send me an email at [email protected] (Or reply to this email!)

But you might enjoy a 1:1 conversation, instead.

And it just so happens that you have a 1:1 coaching session that already has your name on it!

To claim this session, please simply click this link and follow the prompts:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

When you read the word ‘Intimacy’, what images come to mind?

If you’re like me (and many others) you might envision scenes of romance with some Barry White soundtrack in your mind.

And, to be sure, sex is (mostly) an intimate act.

But sex, in my opinion, and understanding, sits within the greater sphere of intimacy and does not define intimacy.

In today’s episode, I talk about what intimacy is and what it requires. And I talk about how Mindfulness and Compassion practices can create the conditions for intimacy:

If you have any questions about this subject or would like to learn how to practice in the service of intimacy, I hope you will reach out.

You’re welcome to simply reply to this email ([email protected] for all of you who aren’t on my mailing list).

But there is another way to reach me that you may find far more impactful!

As I explained in the beginning of today’s episode, you have a professional coaching session with your name on it.

It’s already been paid for and it’s just sitting there waiting to be claimed.

So just how do you claim this coaching session for yourself?

It’s as simple as clicking this link and following the prompts:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session