#SiblingsToo - Exploring the impacts of sibling sexual abuse

Nancy Morris is the host of the "SiblingsToo" podcast, dedicated to bringing awareness and reducing the stigma surrounding sibling sexual abuse (SSA). With a commitment to amplifying the voices of survivors, academics, and professionals, Nancy employs her platform to foster education, support, and meaningful conversations about the complex impacts of SSA on families and individuals.

Episode Summary: In this captivating episode, Nancy delves into the upcoming projects and thematic shifts that will shape the podcast's future. The episode serves as an insightful guide on what listeners can expect as the conversation around sibling sexual abuse continues to evolve.

Nancy underscores the introduction of Teagan McLaren's impactful song "Breaking the Silence" as the new audio and video anthem for the podcast, reinforcing the ongoing mission to break societal taboos. Entwining anecdotes from listeners and feedback from academics, Nancy shares her enthusiasm for the growing community of support and awareness surrounding SSA, emphasizing the critical role of storytelling in changing perceptions and aiding healing.

Key Takeaways: •    Reminder of Teagan McLaren's Song: The podcast will continue to feature "Breaking the Silence" by Teagan McLaren to encapsulate the podcast's mission and ethos. •    New Messaging Initiatives: The podcast will introduce fresh messaging aimed at reducing societal and self-imposed stigma and giving voice to the voiceless across the family dynamic. •    Upcoming Interviews: Future episodes will explore diverse perspectives, including international viewpoints and experiences from different family members affected by SSA. •    Focus on Education: There's a significant push towards educating professionals, academics, and the public to bridge the knowledge gap regarding SSA. •    Community Engagement: Listeners are encouraged to share their thoughts, stories, and suggestions to help shape the podcast and support those affected by SSA.

Notable Quotes: •    "Breaking the silence around sibling sexual abuse is why the 'SiblingsToo' podcast exists to begin with." •    "I've heard from many academics, professionals, lived experience experts, family members...that the genie that is the secret of sibling sexual abuse will not be able to go back in the bottle." •    "One of the ways to minimize stigma is to share knowledge, to share opportunities for education, to teach people some of the facts and outcomes and impacts of sibling sexual abuse." •    "What happens now? Now that the genie is nice and fat, or getting fatter anyway, what do we do next?" •    "I know this isn't necessarily a topic we want to be talking about, but we need to. And the more we do, the easier the conversation becomes."

Resources: •    Visit the "SiblingsToo" website •    Follow the "SiblingsToo" project on Facebook and Instagram 

Stay tuned to the "SiblingsToo" podcast for more groundbreaking discussions and essential resources that not only foster awareness but also pave the way for effective prevention and intervention practices in sibling sexual abuse. Your participation and feedback are vital to continuing this important conversation. Listen to the full episode for a comprehensive understanding, and join us in making sure the genie remains forever out of the bottle.

Computer-generated transcript

Ep.57 – What’s Coming This Fall On The Podcast Hosted by Nancy Morris of #SiblingsToo

0:00:01 -  Well, it's great to be back in the #SiblingsToo podcast hosting chair the fall of 2024. And we're back. So I want to take a few minutes just to share with you some of what's coming up in the next few weeks and months with the #SiblingsToo podcast and project. A lot's actually going to be going on. There's going to be some new projects. There's going to be some new work being done with the stories that are being collected at the #SiblingsToo website. 0:00:31 -  We're going to be using some of the information from those stories directly on the podcast to reinforce some of the messaging, and we're going to be changing some of the messaging. So there's going to be a lot going on in the next few weeks and months. One thing I wanted to check in with you, though, right now. Did you notice that Tegan McLaren's song Breaking the Silence is now introducing all of the siblings to podcast episodes? 0:01:00 -  It will be the song that is used for everything that #SiblingsToo produces in audio format and even in video format as we go forward. As I mentioned in the podcast episode where I interviewed Tegan about the work that she did on the song, you know, I think it's such a great song. And the messaging is really important, not only for those who have survived sibling sexual abuse, but for the rest of the entire family. 0:01:29 -  In fact, breaking the silence around sibling sexual abuse is why the #SiblingsToo podcast exists to begin with. So let's just keep working. Let's keep the conversation going. I've said in the past that one of the jobs I feel that I have, one of the outcomes that I was hoping for was that the genie would be too fat to fit back in the bottle. And I've heard from many people, academics, professionals, lived, experience experts, family members, the general public who are familiar with the podcast, my Facebook friends, my Instagram friends, and so on and so forth, that they strongly believe that the genie that is the secret of sibling sexual abuse will not be able to go back in the bottle like it has done in the fat in the past. 0:02:22 -  Let's face it, the conversation about sibling sexual abuse has been around for a while, probably a good 40, 50 years now. I've got books written by academics from the eighties talking about SSA and the importance of bringing the conversation to light. I've got research papers from the same sort of time. And even before talking about the idea that there are impacts to sibling sexual abuse for every member of the family, and those impacts need to be discussed. 0:02:56 -  Prevention needs to be prioritized intervention needs to be thoughtful because SSA is so different from many other forms of, and those sorts of discussions were being had long ago. But because this is such a difficult subject and it is still considered, you know, society's last taboo around family sexual violence, people don't want to talk about it. But now I think the genie's way too fat to get back in the bottle. 0:03:28 -  And that's thanks to those who listen to this podcast and other people who are out there in the world making a lot of noise about SSA. And I don't mean noise in a derogatory way. I mean people who are sharing their voice, their story, their information, whether that is a person who was harmed, a person who harmed other family members, parents, other siblings, other members of the public, talking about people that they knew, and so on and so forth. So now the conversations are becoming normalized. We still have a long way to go, a long way to go, but they are becoming normalized, and the genie is too fat to get back in the bottle. 0:04:13 -  That is, in part thanks to you, the people who are downloading these podcast episodes and taking them to heart. And I know a great number of the people who are listening to the #SiblingsToo podcast also have contributed to the #SiblingsToo awareness days that have happened in 2023 and 2024. On April 15, there will be another 1. April 15, 2025 for sure. The form of it, I don't know yet. We're working on that. But it is coming. 0:04:44 -  And it's those people such as yourself listening now, and the others who have either listened to the podcast or engaged with the videos at the #SiblingsToo YouTube channel, who are responsible for ensuring that the genie doesn't go back in the bottle. And I thank you for that. I thank you for the time and energy that you give to this podcast and to the work that I and others do, whether those others are lived, experienced folks or academics and professionals who are now really on the forefront of providing care and education and support and guidance to those who have been impacted by SSA and those families who want to prevent it from occurring in the first place. 0:05:30 -  So thank you for that. So what's coming? What. What are we going to be talking about? Well, as I said, there's going to be some new messaging coming out of the #SiblingsToo podcast directed towards society as a whole. New information that I hope will speed up the idea of not only raising awareness, but reducing the stigma, which to me, is the real villain in sibling sexual abuse. Not only societal stigma, but the self stigma that family members put on themselves about this topic. 0:06:06 -  The one of the ways to minimize stigma is to share knowledge, to share opportunities for education, to teach people some of the facts and outcomes and impacts, et cetera, of siblings sexual abuse, so that there isn't a gap of knowledge that sort of stigma can squeeze into. And that's where it is. It's usually in a gap of knowledge. It's usually in, you know, a space where people don't have the right information. 0:06:35 -  So I'm really going to be leaning into education. And as it comes to the #SiblingsToo podcast education for professionals, those on the front line, social workers, counselors, therapists, psychotherapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, those that work in areas of social services, family services, child welfare, et cetera, et cetera. Those sorts of professionals that don't easily have access to some of this information. 0:07:05 -  And while some is certainly being created in professional associations for those at work on the front line, it's lacking. I think many people would agree that there's a big gap of education there for the professionals. Also, I want to share information between academics. So I've got the honor of knowing people around the world who work in this field, work in this conversation, as it were, and they don't always get to chat with each other. So I'm going to be bringing more of those international viewpoints to the #SiblingsToo podcast. 0:07:39 -  I also want to bring the viewpoints of other people who are impacted by sibling sexual abuse, not only the child that was harmed, and it's usually, of course, adult survivors that we have on the show, because I can't bring child survivors onto the show, but adult survivors, but also there are other family members. There is a person who caused harm. I know that my episode with Adam who openly admits to the behaviors that he had when he was younger and the impacts on not only his sister, but on his other sibling, and how it changed the family dynamic for that sibling and his parents, and how his behavior fundamentally changed many parts of the family dynamic. 0:08:23 -  His viewpoint is important, and the #SiblingsToo podcast will be giving space to those people who have those viewpoints as well. Also parents, parents of those children who are involved in sibling sexual abuse. They have a viewpoint that is often very difficult to share, but I will be giving more space to those viewpoints in future as well. Plus, we're also going to be looking a little bit more at the notion of what are some of the ways that people who are impacted by SSA, regardless of where they are in the family, but who are impacted by it. In any event, some of the ways that they can self support, as it were, self heal. I don't like that word. But the idea of providing for themselves self care as it relates to their journey beyond sibling sexual abuse. 0:09:17 -  I'm going to be looking further into a lot of the research that's going on. As this conversation has been ramping up over the last few years. And as the genie has been getting fatter, many academics are seeing new opportunities for research around things like language. What language is best supportive of, particularly the survivor of sibling sexual abuse, but others as well, and how the language that's used hurts or hinders or sometimes helps the whole conversation. I think that's an important topic to dive into a little bit more and I'm looking forward to having those conversations with not only the academics who are doing the research, but the lived experience folks who are contributing to it. 0:10:02 -  I think that is an important topic to go alongside with some of the other conversations related to trauma and the impacts on the body, for example, mind, body, spirit work, things like that that we touched on in the last know, 20 or 30 episodes, but really want to dive in more along with the importance of understanding SSA through the light of things like PTSD, addictions, suicidal ideations, mental health issues, relationship issues, self esteem, all of these sorts of things that we know are impacts. 0:10:38 -  But beyond raising awareness and reducing stigma, one of the other topics that I really want to dive into in coming episodes is what's next? So what happens now? Now that the genie is nice and fat, or getting fatter anyway, what do we do next? Well, that's where we're going to be talking about the opportunities and obstacles for including sex education, including sibling sexual abuse and sex education for the need for more funding, for additional resources, research and tools that not only help to prevent sibling sexual abuse, but intervene appropriately when it occurs. 0:11:20 -  These topics are close to my heart and I know from the feedback that I get through the #SiblingsToo website and also on the social media and other channels as well. These topics are really important to the audience. I hope you're intrigued by what's coming down the pipeline in terms of the podcast. The next interview I've done is with Doctor Risa Shaw, who wrote not child's play. It's a fascinating discussion that's coming out in a couple of weeks and I'm very excited about it. And you'll understand why when you listen to the episode, why it's so important for me to have interviewed Doctor Shaw. And the conversation that we had was, I think, quite excellent in terms of the importance of storytelling and why just speaking of one's experiences is so relevant these days. 0:12:11 -  So that's next in line. So that'll be the next episode coming out in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, if you have an idea, a thought, a comment, if you have a constructive criticism about the podcast, if there's something that you'd like to hear more about, if you're a professional that and you have a particular situation, I obviously can't help with the situation, but maybe there's a piece of information that can be helpful for you to hear. Because if it's helpful for you, I can guarantee you it's helpful for many other people as well. 0:12:45 -  I also know that a lot of parents listen to professionals talking about the professional approach to SSA because it gives parents some insight. And if you're one of those parents and there's something that you want to know, please do let me know through the social channels or the website itself. For those of you who have been harmed by sibling sexual abuse, as always, you are my number one priority. 0:13:12 -  I'm there with you, and I want to ensure that the #SiblingsToo podcast is supporting you and your needs. So if there's something you want to feed back to me, that's great. To the other family members who don't think necessarily that this podcast is for you, it is, and I welcome speaking with you and talking about how it is you might want to contribute to the overall conversation related to siblings sexual abuse. 0:13:38 -  The #SiblingsToo podcast is going to continue to bring real information, data, research, and most importantly, the stories that matter about sibling sexual abuse. So we not only raise awareness and we reduce the stigma, but we add positively to the opportunities that are becoming available to prevent SSA from occurring and to intervene when it has. That's what's coming down the pipeline. I hope you're as excited about it as I am. 0:14:09 -  I know this isn't necessarily a topic we want to be talking about, but we need to. And the more we do, the easier the conversation becomes. So continue to listen in. Please join me on Facebook at the #SiblingsToo page on Facebook, the #SiblingsToo project page at Instagram, or the #SiblingsToo channel on YouTube. And I look forward to hearing from you. Take care.

So much is going on!

Here's a quick update about the SiblingsToo Podcast and the work going on behind the scenes.

In a deeply moving follow-up to Episode 54, Heather shares her experience of confronting sibling sexual abuse within her family. The shocking revelation by Heather's daughter, Brooke, and the subsequent turning point—with her son admitting guilt—paints a raw and honest portrait of a family navigating the darkest of times.

In the wake of Brooke's disclosure and the admission of sibling sexual abuse by her brother, Heather and Brooke face the arduous task of giving their impact statements for court, forced to give words and voice to the profound emotional toll the abuse has inflicted. As we listen to their statements and this follow-up discussion, we delve into the critical moments from the day Brooke courageously spoke up, through the family's initial reactions, to the ongoing legal proceedings that ripple through their lives. Heather's unwavering support for her children, her advocacy for appropriate justice and rehabilitation for her son, and the perseverance to heal as a family are all laid bare in this candid discussion.

Key Takeaways:

*   Brooke's impact statement reveals years of suffering due to sibling sexual abuse, including mental torment and confusion about her sexuality.

*   Heather struggles with dual advocacy, seeking justice for Brooke while ensuring her son receives adequate treatment and rehabilitation.

*   The family undergoes immense emotional turmoil, with both children experiencing psychological breakdowns and hospitalizations after disclosure.

*   Heather's faith plays an integral role, granting her the strength to support her family through their darkest period.

*   The family's experience underscores the necessity for better handling of sibling sexual abuse cases within the legal system and broader societal change.

Notable Quotes:

*   "My innocence was ripped from me due to his poor self-control and decisions and it wasn't fair." - Brooke

*   "My son destroyed our family bond, broke our family apart and caused what has felt like a death of both of my children." - Heather

*   "Trying to find a way to mostly advocate for the victim, my daughter, what she had been through, her feelings, five years of dealing with the abuse..." - Heather

*   "As much as we were trying to help both of our children, life had just become a disaster." - Heather

*   "I want people to know that certain things you feel have broken you to the core sometimes build you up to become that much stronger." - Heather

Timestampts

1:24

Brooke's impact statement

5:48

A Mother's Plea for Justice and Healing

9:52

A Mother's Struggle With Sibling Sexual Abuse

13:27

Concerns Over Sex Offender Treatment and Sentencing

19:03

A Family's Crisis of Disclosure and Sexual Abuse

25:59

The Overwhelming Nature of Navigating the Judicial System

27:01

Finding Strength in Faith During Family Crisis

30:05

Strength, Self-Care, and Family Resilience

35:34

Families Embrace Healing and Advocacy After Trauma

Would you like to support the #SiblingsToo Podcast --> buymeacoffee.com/siblingstoo

🖥 To connect with #SiblingsToo go to: Siblingstoo.com

📲 Facebook: fb.com/siblingstoo

➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story

In this profound episode of the #SiblingsToo podcast, we are introduced to Heather, John, and their daughter Brooke, a family united by the turmoil of sibling sexual abuse and united in their journey toward justice and healing. Heather and John, parents grappling with the revelations of their son's actions toward his sister, embody the resolve to advocate for both their children amid an undeniably complex emotional landscape. Brooke emerges as a beacon of courage and a voice for survivors, sharing her experience with clarity and a hope to inspire change.

Episode Summary:

The SiblingsToo podcast embarks on an emotionally charged dialogue as we delve into the critical issue of sibling sexual abuse and its ramifications on the family unit. This episode welcomes Heather, John, and Brooke, who bravely share their family's tumultuous journey after Brooke's disclosure of her older brother's sexual abuse towards her. Their story sheds light on the under-recognized epidemic of sibling sexual abuse and the journey towards justice and healing.

Heather reveals the omnipresent danger technology poses in our children's lives, especially with the ease of accessing potentially harmful content like pornography. John shares his paternal struggle, anchored by his commitment to both his children, while Brooke illuminates her personal evolution, from survivor dealing with blame and shame to advocate for awareness and prevention. Together, they explore the complex intersection of familial dynamics, mental health, technology, and societal norms that often converge in cases of sibling sexual abuse.

*   The episode opens with Heather expressing concern for the overexposure of today's youth to content beyond their mental processing capacity.

*   The family discusses the influence of pornography on their son's behavior and the importance of open dialogues and preventative measures in family settings.

*   A powerful perspective shift occurs as Brooke underscores the necessity of reclaiming one's power as a survivor, advocating for both victims and abusers in the quest for healing.

Key Takeaways:

*   Children are being exposed to more content, such as pornography, than their brains are ready to handle, influencing behavior in harmful ways.

*   The challenge of advocating for both the survivor and the abuser exists within the same family, emphasizing the unique dynamics present in sibling sexual abuse cases.

*   Parents should consider contracts, monitoring, and conversations about internet safety as preventative measures against the dangers of unfettered technological access.

*   Brooke, as a survivor, aims to push for educational change within the school system, advocating for personal space rules and anti-grooming information.

*   There is a possibility for family healing and reunification post-disclosure, with the prerequisite of respecting the survivor's timing and comfort.

Notable Quotes:

*   "Children are seeing more than their brains are ready to handle." - Heather

*   "You should always hand the shame back to the abuser because if you don't, you're thinking it's your fault." - Brooke

*   "We need open conversations...educate our children more so on dangers of family. A family makes you feel uncomfortable. People need to know not to be scared to come forward." - Heather

*   "It's a sticky situation...it's totally upon Brooke on how she feels." - John

*   "Everything will be fine... eventually you will [find your voice] too." - Brooke

Engage with the full episode to join Heather, John, and Brooke on their compelling journey through the complexities of sibling sexual abuse. Their heartfelt narrative and insightful reflections promise to enlighten and encourage listeners navigating similar paths. Stay tuned for more eye-opening content from the #SiblingsToo podcast.

Timestamps:

 0:00

The Family Confronts Sibling Sexual Abuse and Seeks Healing

4:09

The Impact of Pornography on Youth Behavior

7:59

Family Struggles With Teen's Secret Addictions

12:07

Protecting Children from Technology's Hidden Dangers

16:45

Confronting the Reality of Sibling Sexual Abuse

21:15

Praising Courageous Parenting and Judicial Intervention

22:34

Debating Age Restrictions for Technology and Pornography Access

24:16

Debating Cell Phone Use in Schools

27:32

Healing and Advocacy in Teen Mental Health

29:44

Empowering Youth with Body Safety and Anti-Grooming Education

31:58

Addressing Mental Health in the Judicial System

36:42

Parental Conflict in Advocating for Both Victim and Perpetrator

38:32

Addressing Pornography's Impact on Youth and Societal Norms

41:05

Family Healing and Advocacy After Abuse

Would you like to support the #SiblingsToo Podcast --> buymeacoffee.com/siblingstoo

🖥 To connect with #SiblingsToo go to: Siblingstoo.com

📲 Facebook: fb.com/siblingstoo

➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story

In this powerful and thought-provoking episode of the #SiblingsToo podcast, Decca Aitkenhead and host Nancy Morris delve into the underreported and deeply complex issue of sibling sexual abuse (SSA). The conversation provides an insightful exploration into Decca's journey to write a major article for The Sunday Times in the UK, addressing a subject that often goes unnoticed by the public and media alike. With a commitment to shedding light on this taboo topic, Decca and Nancy discuss the obstacles and responsibilities that come with bringing such personal, intimate stories to a wider audience.

The episode reveals the troubling silence surrounding SSA in mainstream media and highlights the urgency of informing parents, families and, importantly, society about SSA and how it can impact all of our lives. Decca shares the emotionally charged process of listening to survivors' experiences, the challenges in reporting on a subject with significant legal and social implications, and the overarching goal of sparking a national dialogue that can no longer be ignored. Insightful, raw, and unwaveringly honest, these show notes invite readers to fully grasp the magnitude of the problem and the need for immediate attention and action.

About the Guest:

Decca Aitkenhead is an award-winning journalist known for her role as the chief interviewer of The Sunday Times in the UK. With a career spanning three decades, Aitkenhead has become one of the leading names in journalism, interviewing a diverse range of prominent figures from the fields of politics, sport, culture, media, and the arts. Her expertise and dedication to uncovering compelling human stories have positioned her as a respected voice in the British media landscape.

Key Takeaways:

1. The 'ick factor' and legal complexities contribute to the collective media silence on SSA.
2. Parents and families must be aware of the dynamics within their household to prevent and address abuse.
3. Survivors of SSA carry the emotional burden of their experiences, with disclosure often leading to a tumultuous yet liberating journey.
4. The debate on terminology (perpetrator/victim versus child who harmed/child who was harmed) reflects the struggle to adequately frame and respond to SSA within society.

Notable Quotes from Decca:

1. "Even more crucially, you could argue you want parents of children in their care today to read this article and think, 'Christ, I mean, there's no reason to think that couldn't happen in our family. I should be paying attention'."
2. "It's the absolute ick factor journalists don't want to cover this story. It's kind of grim. People don't want to think about it."
3. "The product of the school of thought, which feels that we must recognize that they were all children, and to some extent, they're all victims, is that they don't want to use the word perpetrator and victim."
4. "If one parent reads this and pays attention and it means that it doesn't happen to their kids, then maybe that really is the ultimate change in this situation."

Resources:

1. The Sunday Times article - www.thetimes.co.uhttps://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/revealed-the-hidden-crime-of-sibling-sexual-abuse-z05cf0l8r
2. More on Decca - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decca_Aitkenhead

Tune in to this significant episode of #SiblingsToo featuring Decca Aitkenhead, for a deep dive into sibling sexual abuse's harsh realities. Do not miss the full discussion for a comprehensive understanding and join us as we continue to bring light to these critical and pressing matters in upcoming content.

Chapters: 

0:01:25

Decca's motivation to write about sibling sexual abuse

0:04:49

Legal implications and challenges of reporting on sibling sexual abuse

0:07:11

The silence surrounding sibling sexual abuse speaks to societal stigma

0:11:11

Challenges faced by victims in telling their stories without a criminal conviction

0:16:27

The awareness and resources on sibling sexual abuse have increased in recent years, indicating a potential tipping point.

0:22:16

The process of researching for the article involved speaking with academics, professionals, and individuals with lived experience.

0:27:43

The privilege and responsibility of telling these stories

0:37:04

Parents need to be aware and talk about sibling sexual abuse.

0:43:25

Sibling sexual abuse should be seen as a public health issue, not just a criminal justice issue.

0:48:48

Simple steps parents can take to protect their children.

0:54:19

The potential impact of the article on survivors and their healing process

In an eye-opening episode of the #SiblingsToo podcast, host Nancy Morris engages in an intense and revealing conversation with two guests: therapist Brad Watts and Adam, someone who has acknowledged causing sexual harm to a sibling. The discussion delves into Adam's personal reflections on his actions, the family dynamics, and the resulting implications within the justice system. The episode presents a juxtaposed narrative of regret and healing, secrecy and disclosure, challenging societal perceptions of sibling sexual abuse.   Initially, Adam recounts his childhood experiences, including how early exposure to pornography influenced his behavior. The conversation then progresses into Adam's acknowledgment of the harm caused to his sibling and the subsequent emotional and legal fallout. The episode also highlights the stigma associated with sibling sexual abuse and the varying paths of healing for both the harmed and the one causing harm. Therapist Brad Watts provides a professional lens, contextualizing Adam's experience within broader themes of treatment and recovery from sexual abuse.

About the Guests: Adam admits to perpetrating sexual harm towards his sister. He is navigating both the therapeutic process and the juvenile justice system in the United States. Although specifics about his history and achievements are not disclosed to protect both his and his siblings' anonymity, Adam's participation in the podcast signifies his intention to contribute to the dialogue around sibling sexual abuse and his personal journey towards understanding and rehabilitation. His voice has also been altered.   Brad Watts, a long-standing friend of the #SiblingsToo podcast, is a therapist specializing in sibling sexual abuse. He is an author, having penned the book "Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Guide to Confronting America's Silent Epidemic". He regularly conducts training throughout the United States to educate and inform others on this issue. Brad provides his expertise to the discussion with Adam, offering insights into the therapeutic aspects surrounding such cases.    

Key Takeaways: •    Adam's early exposure to pornography planted the seeds leading to sibling sexual abuse, a common factor in such cases. •    Exposure to media portraying the consequences of sexual abuse prompted Adam to cease the abusive behavior and reflect on the gravity of his actions. •    Adam experienced significant legal repercussions and family upheaval, with a lasting impact on his future opportunities. •    The podcast emphasizes the complexity of healing for both survivors and perpetrators, as well as the important role of therapy and family support. •    The episode underscores the importance of open dialogue and the need for society to address sibling sexual abuse with compassion and understanding.  

Notable Quotes: •    "This is a secret I was going to keep to my grave, and I feel bad for that. That was really... I can't even describe how I feel about it. Just disgusted." - Adam •    "And so I think it is important for it to come out so that there can healing begin." - Adam •    "If you've got this big, huge wound, which is definitely SSA, just putting an ace bandage over it...eventually without disinfecting it... it's not going to be cleaned and healed, it's going to get gangrene, it's going to fester." - Adam •    "My goal is to live a normal life, buy a house, get married, have some kids." - Adam •    "Sometimes it's going to hurt a lot before the healing happens." - Adam  

Resources: Brad's book – Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Guide to Confronting America's Silent Epidemic" is available online at your favorite retailer.  

We hope this episode provides you with insights into the rarely spoken-about issue of sibling sexual abuse and the multifaceted effects it has on the involved individuals and their families. Please join us for the full episode to understand the complete narrative and stay tuned for more enlightening content from #SiblingsToo podcast.

Chapters:

04:09 Description of Adam's family life and homeschooling

10:37 Adam's addiction to pornography and constant search for access

15:56 Normal roughhousing turning into manipulation

26:48 Adam's conversation with his father and disclosure to the authorities

36:18 The non-linear process of healing for survivors

42:01 Nancy asks Adam about his response to people who think he should pay the price for his actions

47:27 Brad shares his thoughts on supporting both survivors and those who commit sexual harm

54:16 Adam discusses the importance of sharing his story and letting others know they are not alone

In this remarkable episode, we are joined by the brilliant Teagan McLaren who brings a profound sense of connection through her music. The conversation revolves around the liberation that comes from expressing ourselves and the encouragement Teagan's latest song provides to those who are navigating their own challenging experiences. The exchange highlights the transformative power of sharing our stories and the emotional resonance that music, like Teagan's, can deliver.

From the rich conversations that led to the songwriting process to the meaningful interactions with fans, this episode dives into the making of Teagan's song "Breaking the Silence." Highlighting significant discussions around sibling sexual abuse (SSA) and the universal theme of overcoming trauma, the episode carries an inspiring message of hope and empowerment. Teagan's insights bring depth to the understanding of how music can be both a personal cathartic journey and a catalyst for broader societal awareness, encouraging us to voice our stories to enact change.

Key Takeaways:

- After meeting Teagan McLaren at a networking event in 2019, Nancy commissioned her to craft an uplifting song that would connect with and inspire listeners, especially those affected by sibling sexual abuse and other traumas. From that meeting came "Breaking the Silence" which captures personal narratives and the struggle to overcome silence.

- Despite not having experienced sibling sexual abuse personally, Teagan drew from her own life traumas and empathic understanding to create a song that resonates.

- The song's universal appeal lies in its ability to capture the essence of shared human experiences, encouraging listeners to break their silence and join a collective wave of awareness.

- Teagan hopes the song will empower individuals to speak out, move forward from their past traumas, and realize that they are not alone in their experiences.

In this episode:

0:00:00 Teagan wants people to feel connected and empowered by her song.

0:01:12 Nancy shares her first impression of Teagan's music and their initial meeting.

0:03:02 Nancy commissions Teagan to write a song for the #SiblingsToo podcast.

0:04:24 Teagan starts writing the song, focusing on the theme of breaking the silence.

0:09:33 The stop-start process of completing the song was beneficial for Teagan's songwriting.

0:11:47 Teagan's empathetic nature allows her to connect with the emotions of others' stories.

0:13:21 Teagan connects her personal experiences with trauma to Nancy's story

0:14:11 Nancy discusses the importance of breaking the silence and how it can help others

0:16:50 Teagan shares a story of a friend who opened up about their trauma after hearing the song

0:18:11 Nancy talks about the impact of the song and how it resonates with survivors of different traumas

0:20:06 Teagan expresses her struggle with performing the song live and finding the right delivery

0:23:32 Nancy praises the lyrics of the song, particularly verse three, and its message of letting go of self-blame

0:25:26 Teagan discusses the creative choices she made in the song to emphasize certain lyrics

0:26:04 Nancy discusses the commonality of trauma and the impact it has on individuals.

0:28:10 Nancy asks Teagan what she would like to see the song achieve.

0:29:07 Teagan hopes the song will encourage people to speak up about their experiences and seek support.

0:29:59 Nancy and Teagan discuss the importance of connecting with others through music and how it can help people feel less alone.

0:30:58 Teagan explains her approach to songwriting and how she aims to create songs that resonate with a wide audience.

0:32:33 Teagan shares a personal story about a song she wrote that had a different meaning for someone else, highlighting the power of interpretation.

0:35:10 Nancy expresses her appreciation for the song and how it helps her communicate her experiences to others, including her husband.

0:36:32 Teagan shares her hope that the song will resonate with and help others who have experienced trauma.

0:37:27 Nancy thanks Teagan for her work on the song and believes it will be well-received by her audience.

0:39:53 Breaking The Silence – full version

Notable Quotes:

- "It's so liberating to feel like you're not alone, to know that you're not alone." - Teagan McLaren

- "It's all about breaking the silence about sibling sexual abuse." - Teagan reflecting the podcast host's mission

- "I barely remember before the walls were built." - A key lyric capturing the impact of traumatic experiences

- "I'm breaking the silence coming off of my island and joining in the rising tide." - Lyrics symbolizing the act of reaching out and healing

- "Too long I blamed myself... nothing I could have done would have changed a thing." - Expressing a turning point of self-forgiveness in overcoming trauma

Resources:

- Teagan McLaren's website: [www.teaganmclaren.com](http://www.teaganmclaren.com)

- Lyric video of Breaking the Silence on YouTube - https://youtu.be/ZA90ZNSpSwI?si=fOqmPhDXqglnSiiX

About Teagan:

Teagan McLaren is a talented singer-songwriter known for her heartfelt music and captivating melodies. With a knack for crafting songs that resonate with listeners' emotions, Teagan's original music often reflects the lived experiences of herself and those within her circle, including friends and family. She has a history of engaging audiences with not only her music but also the stories behind her compositions. Teagan's approach to songwriting demonstrates a deep level of empathy and understanding of various life experiences, giving her the ability to connect with her audience on a personal level. As an advocate for speaking up and addressing personal and societal issues through her art, Tegan's music embodies the powerful act of breaking the silence on difficult subjects.

We encourage everyone to listen to the full episode to experience the full depth and impact of the conversation with Teagan McLaren. Stay tuned for more powerful and enlightening content from this series that sheds light on important issues and the healing power of sharing our stories.

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➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story

Nancy Morris is the host and driving force behind the #SiblingsToo podcast and research project. With a dedicated focus on raising awareness about sibling sexual abuse (SSA), Nancy is not only a survivor but also an advocate and activist in this niche domain. Her work involves engaging with professionals, academics, and the society at large to advocate for factual discussions around SSA, aiming to dispel myths and bring about change in narratives concerning this sensitive topic.

Episode Summary:

In this compelling episode, Nancy doesn't hold back on what needs to happen next in the trajectory of sibling sexual abuse awareness and the practical steps forward in prevention efforts. She highlights the importance of societal discourse as a catalyst for change, much like the conversations which shaped public understanding of sexual abuse in other community segments like as the church and sports teams.

Nancy discusses the pitfalls of misinformation and dramatization in media while championing a shift towards more responsible journalism regarding SSA. The episode underlines the vital role of advocacy in maintaining momentum in the conversation around sibling sexual abuse and educates on the important differences between SSA and other forms of sexual abuse, insisting that understanding these can aid in prevention.

Key Takeaways:

• Sibling relationship significance - The crucial role of fostering healthy, lifelong sibling relationships from an early age as a potential preventative measure against SSA.

• Reducing recidivism misconceptions - Understanding that sibling perpetrators often do not repeat behavior outside the home or later in life can help tailor prevention and intervention strategies.

• Stigma and reporting - Minimizing societal stigma is key to encouraging open discussions and effective reporting of SSA instances.

• Parental influence and strategies - Parents must be equipped with strategies and resources to create safe spaces for difficult conversations and minimize potentially harmful behaviors long before they happen.

• Society and policy influence - Among other things, changing society's perception from a criminal to a health-centric view of SSA can influence political will and lead to more supportive policies.

Notable Quotes:

• "We need the same attention on sibling sexual abuse, and I think we're right there right now."
• "The sibling relationship is the longest lasting relationship in our life."
• "The differences between sibling sexual abuse and other forms of child sexual abuse make sibling sexual abuse much more preventable."
• "Every day that we're not moving this conversation along is another day where children are impacted by SSA."

Resources: www.SiblingsToo.com

Join Nancy Morris as she eloquently unfolds the complexities and the urgently needed dialogues on the prevention of sibling sexual abuse in the latest SiblingsToo episode. Stay tuned for more episodes that promise to be just as enlightening, with discussions designed to foster a deeper understanding and provoke actionable change within families and the wider community.

TIMESTAMPS

0:00:00 - Introduction to the SiblingsToo podcast and research project

0:01:11 - Need for society to have conversations about sibling sexual abuse

0:02:53 - Raising awareness and dispelling myths about SSA

0:04:38 - Importance of preventing SSA and supporting survivors

0:09:23 - Key factors in SSA that make it preventable

0:14:09 - Perpetrators are less likely to repeat the behavior

0:15:11 - Example of a lack of coping strategies

0:15:50 - The impact of SSSA on perpetrators

0:16:44 - Stigmatization of survivors and the need for understanding

0:17:56 - Breaking down barriers to reporting and understanding the perpetrators

0:19:17 - The dual role of parents and the importance of open communication

0:20:29 - Creating a safe space for children to discuss difficult topics

0:21:31 - Prevention through educating parents and adults

0:22:21 - The goal of promoting open conversations and seeking help

0:23:56 - Defining the gray area and understanding acceptable behavior

0:26:16 - The role of society in addressing SSA head on

0:29:44 - Considering SSA as a health issue

0:30:53 - Lack of health-centric approach to adult to child abuse

0:31:25 - Importance of political will to drive change

0:31:54 - Opportunities for proactive prevention through education and support

0:32:59 - Creating a positive environment for children

0:33:39 - Urgency to move the conversation along for prevention

0:34:25 - Continuing the conversation on interventions and adult survivors

In this revealing episode of SiblingsToo, Nancy Morris shines a light on the impacts of sibling sexual abuse on others in the family. Joined by Anais Van Vliet, a driven PhD candidate, they dissect the complexities surrounding non-abused, non-abuser siblings in environments marred by such trauma. Anais, blending her personal history and academic prowess, explores how these siblings navigate the tumultuous aftermath of abuse.

Anais reveals that siblings, while not direct victims or perpetrators, also endure profound psychological impacts from the abuse occurring within their family unit. With meticulous research on behalf of these often silent witnesses, Anais strives to advocate for more inclusive services that address their unique healing journeys. Their work emphasizes the critical nature of the sibling bond throughout life and its potential role in fostering early disclosure, supporting survivors, and facilitating healing.

Join us for the entirety of this powerful episode to uncover more about the unseen struggles and necessities of non-abused, non-abuser siblings in the wake of sexual abuse within families. Stay tuned to #SiblingsToo for more compelling discussions that bring to light crucial aspects of sibling sexual abuse and its impact on family dynamics.

Key Takeaways:

• Sibling sexual abuse has far-reaching impacts, not only on the direct victims and perpetrators but also on other siblings within the family unit.
• Non-abused, non-abuser siblings may experience similar psychological outcomes to direct survivors, including guilt, shame, and trauma responses.
• These siblings exhibit unique support needs that are currently underserved by existing family-focused interventions in the wake of sexual abuse.
• The sibling relationship can play a protective role in the context of abuse, as siblings may contribute to early disclosure, interruption of abuse, or ongoing emotional support.
• There is a pressing need for research and advocacy to address the gaps in services for non-abused, non-abuser siblings and to ensure they are seen and heard within therapeutic environments.

About Anais:

Anais Van Vliet is a dedicated PhD candidate at McGill University with a focus on social work. They have a substantial background in clinical support, providing assistance for various life challenges. Anais underscores their professional expertise with personal motivation, being a sibling of intrafamilial child sexual abuse survivors. Their research delves into the experiences of non-abused, non-abuser siblings within these households. Complementing their personal insight, Anais' professional journey includes advocacy for often overlooked communities impacted by sexual violence, policy-oriented research, and the provision of clinical support and services.

Professional bio and contact info

Anaïs Van Vliet is a PhD candidate in Social Work at McGill university. Their doctoral research focuses on siblings of child sexual abuse survivors; their experiences and support needs surrounding sexual abuse in their family. This research is funded by the SSHRC Doctoral scholarship. More broadly, Van Vliet's academic research and social work practice centers on the voices of often forgotten victims of sexual and gender-based violence.  They are currently looking for research and advocacy collaborations and can be reached at [email protected].

References:

Link to Carmit Katz's bio

Prof. Carmit Katz | The Bob Shapell School of Social Work (tau.ac.il)  (https://en-socialwork.tau.ac.il/profile/carmitkatz)

Would you like to support the #SiblingsToo Podcast --> buymeacoffee.com/siblingstoo

🖥 To connect with #SiblingsToo go to: Siblingstoo.com

📲 Facebook: fb.com/siblingstoo

➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story

In this episode, Nancy Morris expresses her gratitude to the individuals who have contributed their stories to the #SiblingsToo story database. She emphasizes the importance of these stories in conducting research, informing policymakers, and reducing the stigma surrounding sibling sexual abuse.

Nancy explains the process of compiling and analyzing the stories, highlighting the themes that emerge and the impact they have on professionals and society as a whole. She also discusses her ongoing collaborations and the upcoming book she is working on to share the realities of sibling sexual abuse with society.

• The #SiblingsToo Project collects anonymous stories from survivors, perpetrators, and other family members affected by sibling sexual abuse.
• The stories are used for research, informing policymakers, and reducing the stigma surrounding sibling sexual abuse.
• Narrative analysis is conducted to identify themes and provide a deeper understanding of the experiences of those affected by sibling sexual abuse.
• Sharing stories can be a healing process for individuals and contributes to the broader conversation about sibling sexual abuse.
• The #SiblingsToo Project aims to ensure that the topic of sibling sexual abuse remains in the public consciousness and leads to meaningful changes in policies and societal attitudes.

Would you like to support the #SiblingsToo Podcast --> buymeacoffee.com/siblingstoo

🖥 To connect with #SiblingsToo go to: Siblingstoo.com

📲 Facebook: fb.com/siblingstoo

➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story