"The best bucket lists are simple and profound. Actually, I believe that the best things in life are both of those things, too." --Julie Schooler (author of Bucket List Blueprint )

I think Julie and Judy must be soulmates from another life or time. This quote really speaks to Judy's mix of uncomplicated and serious items. She has both kinds on her checked items bucket list and on her current, in-progress list.  Judy has always (and continues) valued variety...from travel to learning and daily habits to relationships.

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." -Walt Disney

I can feel Sandy agreeing with this sentiment. She gets so frustrated listening to big talkers!!!

This week we are writing and talking about "bucket lists". We discuss Sandy's cottage dream and her desire to travel. Sandy also confesses a desire to go zip lining and go tubing...Who knew?

"I had a lot of insecure moments in high school, it wasn't all peachy keen. But I don't necessarily think that I hate high school and wanted to crawl into a hole either." --Kirsten Bell

Michelle uses the phrase "peachy keen", made popular by Rizzo in the movie "Grease". It embodies that perfect blend of sarcasm and ambiguity that is so perfectly her!

Today we are talking about "Bucket Lists". Michelle already has a couple of items crossed off her current list (which is unsurprising). We explore the details of the remaining 9 bucket list items and discuss our next dream board making time--no sarcasm or ambiguity at all!!!

"The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. Whatever you think you can do, or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, power, and grace." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This quote has several variations, but they all have the same command "BEGIN IT".

In this episode, Michelle and I talk about goals, bucket lists, and dream boards. We get into the fact that sometimes we don't know the how, why, or when of a dream--but it is there. Our mom, Sandy, is an excellent example of someone with a short and simple bucket list with one major item...a cottage on Lake Michigan. 

I don't think a bucket list needs to be long, but really, the fewer items there are, the more important each is. 

"Stop setting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm." --unknown

We figured out that my mom and Sara were friends for about 6 years. There were days, weeks, months, that turned into years where mom was trying to help her friend. Then one day, she had enough. Living through, and ultimately ending, that relationship was. very. difficult.

This week the Sidetracked Sisters are writing about our "Greatest Challenge".

In this episode, Sandy and I talk about a toxic friendship that colored our lives many years ago. We reminisce about specific events and talk about how the relationship ended (and the relief we all felt when it was over). Sandy had very few resources when she was struggling through these events. Today, a quick google search can bring up dozens of articles, quizzes, therapists, and coaches. If you find yourself in a relationship where you are struggling to back out safely, here are a couple of places to begin educating yourself:

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/toxic-friends/

https://www.healthline.com/health/toxic-friendships

"You're always one choice away from changing your life." --Marcy Blochowiak (author)

But no one ever said that making that choice would be easy.

And no one said that changing your life wouldn't be scary!

This week, the Sidetracked Sisters are writing and talking about our "Greatest Challenge". 

Throughout my life, I have always questioned, "What am I going to be when I grow up?" Although I've pivoted a couple of times in my career life, teaching was pretty stable for me. Right now, however, I'm comparing my life to skydiving. I've left the ground behind and made the jump. 

Exciting? Yes. 

Scary? Hell YESSS!!!

"Freeing yourself was one thing. Claiming ownership of that freed self is another." --Toni Morrison

Michelle began her self-discovery story last week when she talked about being a chameleon throughout her life. This week, we talk and write about "Our Greatest Challenge". We get into her separation and divorce story. The book "The 5 Love Languages" is a real eye-opener for her. Then, we begin working on her self-identity and what she wants out of life. This sets us up for next week's writing and interviews about our bucket lists...

"Let go of the illusion that it could have been any different."

I don't know what wise soul uttered those profound words--but this is the beginning, middle, and end of healing.

Today Judy and I talk about our "Greatest Challenge". We discuss her sister Kathy's illness and how it affected her development. We get into resilience, flexibility, and Judy's search for self. Then, at the end of our interview, I have Judy retell a story about her sister that has always freaked me about a bit!

"Be yourself, everyone else is already taken." --Gilbert Perreira

Throughout her life, Michelle has struggled with being a chameleon. She's tried to be what she though others wanted her to be or who she felt others NEEDED her to be. Over the years of this, it got to be that nothing felt...real. Music, food, activities. Others had favorites and opinions, not Michelle. She was willing to go along for whatever ride you were on.

In this episode, we discuss how Michelle developed a chameleon personality and how she is NOW learning to be her true self.

Check out this writing from last year. Its crazy how this is obviously an important theme for her!!!

"Every time we start thinking we are the center of the universe, the universe turns around and says with a slightly distracted air, 'I'm sorry, what'd you say your name was again?'" --Margaret Maron (Amerian mystery writer)

Learning that she WASN'T the center of the universe was a lesson that Judy learned from a therapist when she was in her twenties. It's not an easy lesson to learn and it takes many of us time and practice to fully understand the concept. But, according to this article in Inc., studies show that when you get this, you're more likely to face your fear, speak out, and stand up for your opinions!

Knowing that you. are. NOT the center of the universe leads to independence and the release of people-pleasing.

In this episode, Judy and I talk about therapy, aging, life after retirement, and how much fun we are having--and therapeutic it is--doing Legacy Writing together.