THE CASHIER’S BIG ASS (a reworking of an original instrumental track by Silvio Vinci)
[Spoken intro]
I came in here for bread and butter.
That’s all.
Now look at this line…
Quarter past five at the corner store,
Bell went ding when I hit that door.
Milk in my hand, loose change in my jeans,
She was workin’ that register, cool and mean.
Gold hoop earrings, a paperback book,
Caught me twice on the very same look.
Said, “You buying something, or blocking my aisle?”
I dropped my change. She cracked a smile.
The cashier’s big ass!
(I forgot my change!)
The cashier’s big ass!
(Had to look again!)
She said, “Eyes up here, boy,
Tell me what you need.”
I said, “A loaf of bread.”
She said, “White or wheat?”
Went back Tuesday for a can of beans,
Wednesday came — needed magazines.
Thursday bought a little piece of cheese.
She said, “You got a hungry family?”
Friday night, I wore my good brown shoes.
She said, “You buying those groceries two by two?
Save yourself a trip, make a list sometime.”
Then she wrote her number on the back of mine.
The cashier’s big ass!
(I forgot my change!)
The cashier’s big ass!
(Had to look again!)
She said, “Eyes up here, boy,
Tell me what you need.”
I said, “What time you finish?”
She said, “Half past three.”
“Price check!”
(On what?)
“That fool in the brown shoes.”
(Oh, him?)
“You gonna stand there all night?”
Might do.
“You gonna buy me dinner?”
Like to.
“Then put that basket down.
I got things to do.”
Half past three, she turned the key,
Took off her apron, handed it to me.
Said, “Carry this, since your hands are free.
And tonight, you keep your eyes on me.”
The cashier’s big ass!
(She caught me looking!)
The cashier’s big ass!
(Now something’s cooking!)
She said, “Eyes up here, boy,
I don’t ask twice.”
Yes, ma’am, I hear you.
Where you wanna eat tonight?
Bread and butter…
That’s what I came for.
Left with her number,
Went back for more.
“Hey — brown shoes!”
Yes, baby?
“You forgot your groceries.”
Keep ’em till tomorrow.