Simplistic Reviews Podcasts

Simplistic Reviews Podcasts

By DJ Valentine - Justin Polizzi - Matthew StewartComedyTV & FilmFilm Reviews
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Simplistic Reviews Podcasts episodes

  • (Ep. 96): Jack Frost 2 - Movie Commentary: December 2017
    Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman R 2000 ‧ Slasher/Fantasy ‧ 1h 31m_____________________________________________________________________________ Sam (Christopher Allport) is traumatized by his experience the previous Christmas, battling Jack Frost (Matt Falletta), a murderous snowman possessed by a serial killer. His wife, Anne (Eileen Seeley), thinks a trip to the tropics will get his mind off the snow, so they pack their bags and head to a resort on an island in the Pacific. Meanwhile, the FBI accidentally resurrects Jack's remains during an experiment. Jack heads to the island, covers it in snow and embarks on another rampage. Initial release: November 21, 2000Director: Michael CooneyFilm series: Jack Frost Film SeriesMusic composed by: Chris AndersonScreenplay: Michael CooneyWell to finish off our Holiday Movie Commentaries we decided to dive into Jack Frost 2. There is much to say but watch the first Jack Frost and stop. Jack Frost 2 is not a good bad movie but a bad movie. They forgot the good this time around. So stay warm by that fire place and remember not to eat the yellow snow!Happy HanukkahMerry ChristmasHappy FestivusHappy New Year and from us all at Simplistic Reviews thank you for listening and reading! We have big things planned this year we think you will enjoy! See you next year... 
    1 hr 43 min
  • (Ep. 95): Elves - Movie Commentary: December 2017 (without Movie Audio)

    Elves

    1989 ‧ Drama/Horror ‧ 1h 29m

    ____________________________________________________________________________

    A department-store Santa Claus (Dan Haggerty) discovers a Neo-Nazi plot to mate a nice girl (Julie Austin) with an elf in Colorado.

    Release date:  October 24, 1989

    Director: Jeffrey Mandel

    Screenplay: Jeffrey Mandel

    Music composed by: Vladimir Horunzhy

    Production company: Action International Pictures

     

    That time of the year is back when the gang sits around and watches nothing but terrible holiday themed movies.

    Today is not only our first appearance of Dan Haggerty here at Simplistic Reviews but also a ending for a movie that flabbergasted DJ. I suppose this would already be enough for a Movie Commentary but nope...that's not all. We also have a homeless department store Santa investigating a modern-day Neo-Nazi plot to finally bring about the master race that Hitler had always dreamed of.

    Instead of a race of pure-blood Aryans, it is revealed that Hitler dreamed of a race of half-human/half-elf hybrids.

    Yep... what a movie everyone. So grab that egg nog and sit back, things are about to get weird.

    Merry Christmas!

    P.S. Enjoy the Elves because next week is a cold one set on a tropical island. Try not to question it.

     

         

    1 hr 36 min
  • (Ep. 95): Elves - Movie Commentary: December 2017 (with Movie Audio)

    Elves

    1989 ‧ Drama/Horror ‧ 1h 29m

    ____________________________________________________________________________

    A department-store Santa Claus (Dan Haggerty) discovers a Neo-Nazi plot to mate a nice girl (Julie Austin) with an elf in Colorado.

    Release date:  October 24, 1989

    Director: Jeffrey Mandel

    Screenplay: Jeffrey Mandel

    Music composed by: Vladimir Horunzhy

    Production company: Action International Pictures

     

    That time of the year is back when the gang sits around and watches nothing but terrible holiday themed movies.

    Today is not only our first appearance of Dan Haggerty here at Simplistic Reviews but also a ending for a movie that flabbergasted DJ. I suppose this would already be enough for a Movie Commentary but nope...that's not all. We also have a homeless department store Santa investigating a modern-day Neo-Nazi plot to finally bring about the master race that Hitler had always dreamed of.

    Instead of a race of pure-blood Aryans, it is revealed that Hitler dreamed of a race of half-human/half-elf hybrids.

    Yep... what a movie everyone. So grab that egg nog and sit back, things are about to get weird.

    Merry Christmas!

    P.S. Enjoy the Elves because next week is a cold one set on a tropical island. Try not to question it.

     

         

    1 hr 36 min
  • (Ep. 95): Elves - Movie Commentary: December 2017
    Elves R1989 ‧ Drama/Horror ‧ 1h 29m_________________________________________________________________________________ A department-store Santa Claus (Dan Haggerty) discovers a Neo-Nazi plot to mate a nice girl (Julie Austin) with an elf in Colorado.Release date:  October 24, 1989Director: Jeffrey MandelScreenplay: Jeffrey MandelMusic composed by: Vladimir HorunzhyProduction company: Action International Pictures That time of the year is back when the gang sits around and watches nothing but terrible holiday themed movies. Today is not only our first appearance of Dan Haggerty here at Simplistic Reviews but also a ending for a movie that flabbergasted DJ. I suppose this would already be enough for a Movie Commentary but nope...that's not all. We also have a homeless department store Santa investigating a modern-day Neo-Nazi plot to finally bring about the master race that Hitler had always dreamed of. Instead of a race of pure-blood Aryans, it is revealed that Hitler dreamed of a race of half-human/half-elf hybrids. Yep... what a movie everyone. So grab that egg nog and sit back, things are about to get weird. Merry Christmas! P.S. Enjoy the Elves because next week is a cold one set on a tropical island. Try not to question it.    
    1 hr 36 min
  • (Ep. 94) SR Podcast - December 2017

    FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

    On this early holiday addition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys discuss all the Hollywood news they missed while on Thanksgiving break during an edition of Can You Dig It. They also review everything from The Punisher to Vice Principals during TV Roundup. They even get to try out some new impressions during the game Simply Quotable…and all this is bookended by Justin’s attempt to cancel a gift basket he bought from Costco…yes really. All that, a new trailer spoof, and some underhanded shots at Matt Lauer on this Season’s Greetings episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.


    NOTES
    Vince McMahon Buys WCW

    DC Execs Rush Justice League for bonuses
     
    Amazon Lord Of The Rings

    MUSIC
    By The Croft By Joakim Karud
    Road Trip By Joakim Karud
    Utopia In Peril By Chillout
    Chill Out Soul Rap By Nkato
     

    Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Letterboxd, and Pinterest

    1 hr 35 min
  • (Ep. 93): Killer Klowns from Outer Space - Movie Commentary: October 2017
    Killer Klowns from Outer Space
    PG-13 ‧ 1988 ‧ Science fiction film/Cult film ‧ 1h 28m

     

     
    When teenagers Mike (Grant Cramer) and Debbie (Suzanne Snyder) see a comet crash outside their sleepy small town, they investigate and discover a pack of murderous aliens who look very much like circus clowns. They try to warn the local authorities, but everyone assumes their story is a prank. Meanwhile, the clowns set about harvesting and eating as many people as they can. It's not until they kidnap Debbie that Mike decides it's up to him to stop the clowns' bloody rampage.
    Release date: May 20, 1988 (USA)

     

     What could be better then watching some Killer Klowns this Halloween!? Well with the Simplistic Reviews crew! Join us as we watch a movie that was made to be wacky and goof, yet its still better then half the shit that comes out today! So grab that frankenberry! Pour some of that Halloween themed choice of beer because... this Movie Commentary is gonna scare your socks off!

     

    1 hr 32 min
  • SR Podcast (Ep. 92) October 2017

    FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

    On this October episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Matthew takes the reigns and guides us on a spooky journey which takes us from Harvey Weinstein, to Tyrese & Rock beefs, to Rush Hour sequels.  The boys play the game where crossdressing is totally allowed, What Are You Supposed to be, and we all try to figure out the name of the black guy who hosted Nick Arcade.  All that and more on a terror-filled edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast!

    NOTES
    The Rock v Tyrese
    Deathsalker
    Justice League Trailer
    Pacific Rim Trailer
     
    MUSIC
    The Thing Theme by John Carpenter
    The Great Pumpkin Soundtrack by Vince Guaraldi
    Gremlins Theme by Jerry Goldsmith
    Beetlejuice Theme by Danny Elfman
    Halloween Theme by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
    Psycho Killer by Talking Heads
    Killer Klowns From Outer Space Theme by The Dickies
    Savin' The Day by Alessi
    The Shining Theme by Wendy Carlos and Rachel Elkind
    1 hr 1 min
  • (Ep. 91): Samurai Cop - Movie Commentary: September 2017

    Samurai Cop

    1991 ‧ Crime film/Thriller ‧ 1h 36m

    Play trailer on YouTube

        Release date:January 1, 1989 (USA)

    Director:Amir Shervan

    Screenplay: Amir Shervan

    Film series: Samurai Cop Film Series

    Well we know how to pick them don't we? Movie Commentary is back but this time with MORE ACTION! MORE BABES AND MORE INCREDIBLE LINE READING!

    What the hell is Samurai Cop? You may be asking... Well according to Google it's about ...

     

    But according to IMDB...

    Samurai Cop follows Joe Marshall and Frank Washington who are police detectives assigned to stop the ruthless activities of the Katana a renegade Yakuza gang composed of violent and sadistic killers! All they want want to lead the drug trade in Los Angeles. 

    Then again... since we live in a world of fake news and fake facts its honestly entirely up to debate. But we here at Simplistic Reviews say, "Samurai Cop is a classic on so many levels!"

    Everyone hold on this one gets kinda weird but then again it was the early 90's.

    Here we go, this is Samurai Cop!

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    1 hr 41 min

About Simplistic Reviews Podcasts

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Simplistic Reviews is everything your parents told you to not turn into. We talk and review movies, TV and games from the past and the present. Light that fire and bring the family in to enjoy, don’t…