Simplistic Reviews Podcasts

 2016 | Superhero | 181 minutes

Today on this 4th of July we fight a 3hr war, one we thought we would lose. But we made it through all 3hrs of Zack Snyder's poor choices to bring you another Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. We're sure you have better things to do today. Drink and Eating come to mind. But the time may come when you must watch that

Christ that's a mouthful. Then lets watch it together. A army of one. A uprising to be independent from unbelievable plot holes in a $250 million dollar movie. I mean it's crazy to think these people are professionals and still somehow find work.

So remember young ones. You don't need to jam 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag. Fill up that first bag with all that needed shit and grab another 5 pound bag to finish stuffing that shit. Because having two bags of shit is okay, not one overstuffed bag of shit with plot holes throughout its 3hr run time is okay. Shit boys and girl, that just doesn't fly!

Picasso Trigger

1988 | Action | 1hr 39mins

It's Friday! So we thought another  

Movie Commentary was in order!

Continuing our marathon of the one and only Andy Sidaris. If this is your first time, Sidaris is the king of B-Rated films that pretty much only contains the 3 elements any film really ever needs Bullets, Babes and Sex!

Today we let lose on Picasso Trigger, another solid entry into the Sidaris legacy. 

"Double agent Picasso Trigger is assassinated in Paris by double-crossing bad guy Miguel Ortiz. Then Ortiz begins eliminating agents of The Agency who were involved in his brother's death. The Agency (belatedly) springs into action to stop Ortiz' heinous activities. The usual gunplay, romance, and nifty toys with bombs ensue." 

 So grab a cold one and get ready for a thrill of a lifetime, because kids this is...

 Picasso Trigger!

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

On the May edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast...Justin Polizzi...absolutely...LOSES IT!  Matt and DJ are powerless to stop him from  embracing the dark side and unleashing his anger about the new Ghostbusters movies...and Finding Dory...and Spider-Man Homecoming...and the television upfront trailers for Lethal Weapon, MacGyver and Training Day.  Polizzi's unbridled rage and fury sends the show toppling down into a dark abyss of obscenities and inappropriate behavior with household pets. An abyss the show may never ever be able to recover from.  Now doesn't that sound like a show that you should listen to?!  All that and more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES

Lethal Weapon Television Series

Training Day Television Series

MacGyver Television Series

Tetris Film

Joe Pesci Rap Song "Wise Guy"

Ghostbusters Trailer 2

MUSIC

1976 By RJD2

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

Action In Memphis By Johnny Pearson

Let It Happen By Tame Impala

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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

If you listened to the cold open to Episode 68 of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, guest starring Matty Negs from Negs Best Thing and Al Pacino, you might have heard Julie in the background taping something in the recording studio.  In this Bonus Content clip, you can hear exactly what she was saying on her side of the glass.

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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

On this “Spring Cleaning” episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Matty Negs from Negs Best Thing Podcast helps us talk remakes of TV shows, reboots of Robin Williams films, Game Of Thrones, Prince, Coolio, and movie character fights to the death.  Oh and Al Pacino reads the phone book for us. All that and more on the April edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Notes

Rock and Jumanji

Chyna as She-Hulk

Music

Partyman by Prince

I Would Die For You by Prince

1999 by Prince

Let's Go Crazy by Prince

Raspberry Beret by Prince

Kiss by Prince

Controversy by Prince

Pop Life by Prince

Black Sweat by Prince

You Sexy MF by Prince

I Feel For You by Prince

When Doves Cry by Prince

North by Prince

Purple Rain by Prince

Game Of Thrones Theme by Ramin Djwada

Inside The Actor’s Studio Theme by Angelo Badalamenti

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Ready for another Police Academy Movie Commentary?

Nether are we...

But hey this is the last movie in the series and without a doubt better then that last one. 

So for that last time (Thank God)

Grab that popcorn, get ready for dick jokes and enjoy the fact that there is no more Comdt. Mauser

Ladies and Gentlemen this is...

We are finally done! Every Single Police Academy Film has been commented on by the gang at Simplistic Reviews.

Every Single One...

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

On this ORDER 66 Episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys get prepped for Batman V Superman with a brand new skit.  Matt accepts our award from GeekCast Radio Network for best podcast. And to prove that they can be fair, the boys play a round of Simply Say Anything.  Trailers, Indiana Jones, and Daredevil talk.  All this and more on the March edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Notes

Order 66

Sean Connery Slapping Women Explanation

Judge Reinhold

Predator Poster

James Franco Batman Cowl

Music

Immediate Music - Person of Interest By Aleksandar Dimitrijevic

Let It Happen By Tame Impala

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

In Your Eyes By Peter Gabriel

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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

You've heard from the experts...now hear from the madmen from Simplistic Reviews as they predict who will and who should win at the 2016 Oscars.  Don't worry, the boys do their best to skate around the #OscarsSoWhite issue.  What, are you kidding?  They tackle it head on with enough irreverence that even Spike Lee flinch.  They also tackle other topics like R rated animation, Jennifer Lawrence on the precipise of being hated, and Harvey Fierstein...a lot of Harvey Fierstein.  All that and more on the Simplistic Reviews Oscar Prediction Podcast

NOTES

Harvey Fierstein in Independence Day

Morgan Freeman Car Accident

MUSIC

Hot Shot By Saun & Star

Across 110th Street By Bobby Womack

Strawberry Letter 23 By The Brothers Johnson

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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

 On this Law & Order/Valentine's Day-centric episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Jay Cluitt from Life Vs. Film and the Lamb joins the boys to discuss important topics like Earl Grey, Parliament, Paul Giamatti, Mr. T, and Christopher Walken.  Also the boys take some time to admit some of their worst movie and television sins in another edition of Simply Ashamed.

All that and more on the Simplistic Reviews Podcast

NOTES:

FX Film

Life Vs. Film

Earl Grey

Billions

MUSIC

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

It's A Shame Remix By The Spinners

Law & Order Theme By Mike Post

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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

Cody Abiliene is a semi-successful private detective desperately in need of a big (and well-paying) case. When he's hired to solve the murder of Contessa Luciana's husband, he jumps at the chance. In between investigating the many women around the Contessa's estate, Abilene eventually uncovers a complex case of espionage and blackmail. 

So Police Academy 3: Back in Training SUCKED! Don't worry we Love You (only you)! So we have you covered, Malibu Express is the shit (the good shit). Part of the Bullets Bombs and Babes collection from Andy Sidaris, Malibu Express keeps its silliness but adds more to its story then that of Hard Ticket to Hawaii.

Sure Ticket was fun as well but bringing a bit of mystery to an already entertaining film is going the extra mile. Something Police Academy 3 never did.