Sketch(y) Comedy

What if the Daleks Sung "The Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance.

No copyright infringement intended.

A body is found in the street in the early hours, sprawled on the cobbles. And next to that is another corpse, which is the one DCI Lee and his team are investigating. 

The Pied Piper of Hamelin famously drove a plague of rats from Hamelin. When the townsfolk refused to pay their fee, the Piper took the Children of Hamelin away. Which sounds more than a little creepy when you think about it...

Snow white, fairest of them all, lay in a deep slumber in a forest for many years, oblivious to the world around her. Until one day, a handsome prince arrived and woke her from her sleep with true loves kiss. And Snow White doth rose from her rest of ages and...hang on, he KISSED HER WHILE SHE WAS ASLEEP?

Long ago, ancient Greek soldiers snuck into the city of Troy concealed in a large wooden horse, before getting out and taking the city in a literally legendary surprise attack. At least, according to said legend. But is that what really happened?

In legend, the Gordian Knot, the finest knot ever woven, was offered as a challenge to those who sought greatness, and the one who untied it would rule all Asia. Also in legend, Alexander the Great cut the knot with his sword and demanded Asia. 

But isn't that cheating...?

Why exactly did we ever come up with some words for the explicit purpose of not using them? 

A customer complains about a box of Jaffa Cakes.

Two people meet in the dead of night for a shady transaction, but all is not what it seems. Not due to complex espionage but general incompetence. 

A customer has a complaint about a product...that doesn't quite make any sense.