Slate Advice

The final installment of our series explores the conversations that most of us dread, like frank discussions of our differences or a negative performance review at work. We often anticipate that these chats will go badly—and end in hurt feelings or embarrassment—but there are proven ways to make them easier to navigate.

Host Charles Duhigg talks with psychologist Jay Van Bavel about strategies for having the hardest conversations. And: Vernā Myers, Netflix’s former vice president for inclusion strategy, tells the story of what happened inside the company after an executive was fired for using a racial slur. 

This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg’s bestselling book, Supercommunicators. The guides we mention in this episode can be found at charlesduhigg.com/tools/

Supercommunicators was produced by Sophie Summergrad and Derek John, who also did the sound design. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

For most of her life, Elizabeth was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which forbids having sex outside of marriage. But she recently left the Mormon faith, and now she’s ready to have sex for the first time—at age 43. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Nicole Hardy, author of Confessions of a Latter-Day Virgin to offer Elizabeth advice that’s relevant to anyone who’s ready to tap into their sexuality later in life—but unsure how (or where! or with whom!) to start.

If you liked this episode check out: How To Orgasm, How To Make Sexual Consent Sexy, and How To Be Free of Body Shame

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

On this episode: Jamilah, Zak and Elizabeth answer a question from someone who’s not a parent — and not even a stepmom, yet! This member of the Slate Parenting Facebook group is dating a single mom and wondering how to make meeting the kids and joining the family as seamless as possible.

We’ll help her out and then check in and share what’s on our minds this week. Then, if you’re hanging out for the Slate Plus Playground, we're talking about how to handle it when your kid is being an un-fun butthead.

If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how.

Jamilah’s check-in: gig hunting.

Elizabeth’s check-in: island time. 

Zak’s check-in: sick season.  

Join us on Facebook and email us at [email protected] to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318.

If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts.

Podcast produced by Maura Currie.

Guest Prudie Kristen Meinzer is joined by Real Housewives alumna and Humble Brag podcast host Crystal Kung Minkoff.

Together, they answer questions about feeling conflicted over an ex living their best life post-divorce, navigating a friendship after someone breaks the other’s trust, and asking for financial help.

Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen.

This week’s podcast is produced by Maura Currie, Vic Whitley-Berry, and Daisy Rosario.

On this episode: Elizabeth and Jamilah talk about building a village. Our listener wants to create a community of parents and kids who hang out and trust each other. The question is: how intentional do you have to be, here?

And after that discussion, we’ll of course circle up for a round of triumphs and fails.

Join us on Facebook and email us at [email protected] to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318.

If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts.

Podcast produced by Maura Currie.

Interviews are a time-honored way to elicit intimate insights from public figures and people in power. But at a moment when so much history is being denied or even deleted, interviewing family members and elders can be an important way to document their lives—and understand more about ourselves. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Sam Fragoso, host of the podcast Talk Easy. Sam explains what he’s learned from hundreds of longform celebrity interviews, and how he applied those lessons to sit-downs with his parents.

If you liked this episode check out: The Art of the On-Mic Interview or How To Ace an Interview

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

How To is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

On this episode: Lucy, Zak and Elizabeth think about summer break. There’s a budding conversation in the Slate Parenting Facebook group about the life skills we should have kids work on over the summer – think shoe-tying, kitchen stuff, and riding a bike. We’ll share some of the Facebook Group’s ideas, and some stuff we’re going to work on.

We’ll also check in and share what’s on our minds this week. Then, if you’re hanging out for the Slate Plus Playground, we're talking about gentle parenting… and more specifically, the movement to ditch it. 

If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how.

Lucy’s check-in: thoroughly “in it.”

Elizabeth’s check-in: the great shoe caper.

Zak’s check-in: don’t go to every birthday party.

Join us on Facebook and email us at [email protected] to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318.

If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts.

Podcast produced by Maura Currie.

Why is it that we can tell someone “I’m totally fine!” and they instantly know we’re not? Gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and other subtle nonverbal cues play a huge role in how we connect with one another. 

In this episode, host Charles Duhigg explores how we communicate without words, including a deep dive into the visual and tonal cues embedded in one of the biggest sitcoms of all time, The Big Bang Theory. 

He talks with Dr. Dustin York, a professor at Maryville University who studies nonverbal communication and worked in public relations for Barack Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign. He also sits down with Dave Goetsch, a co-executive producer and longtime writer for The Big Bang Theory, and journalist Jessica Radloff, who wrote an exhaustive book about the show. 

This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by

Duhigg’s bestselling book, Supercommunicators. 

Supercommunicators was produced by Sophie Summergrad and Derek John, who also did the sound design. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Guest Prudie Kristen Meinzer is joined by writer and YouTube essayist Princess Weekes. 

Together, they answer questions about reconciling with a daughter after a huge fight, navigating toxic inlaws and making boundaries with selfish parents.

Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen.

This week’s podcast is produced by Maura Currie, Vic Whitley-Berry, and Daisy Rosario.

On this episode: Elizabeth, Lucy and Zak are talking about estrangement. We got a really thoughtful question from a listener whose four-year-old is starting to ask questions about why one of his grandparents isn’t in the picture. And with kids that age, the questions just keep coming… even on topics like this, that are really hard to explain.

Elizabeth recommended the following resources: 

And after that discussion, we’ll of course circle up for a round of triumphs and fails — and we’ll also share some amazing thoughts you shared about going to DC.

Join us on Facebook and email us at [email protected] to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318.

If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts.

Podcast produced by Maura Currie.