Slaying Sober

On today’s episode of Slaying Sober, we’re going way past “just stop drinking” and into the messy, real psychology of addiction with therapist and YouTube weapon Amber Hollingsworth from Put the Shovel Down.

You asked for it – this one is for the normies and the addicts. Think of it as a no‑bullshit therapy session for the partners, parents, and friends who are desperate to help but keep getting burned in the process.

We unpack how trying to “save” someone can accidentally turn you into the villain of their story, pushing them deeper into shame, fear, secrecy, and using. You’ll hear how to swap punishment for real‑world consequences, and use simple, practical strategies that actually encourage change instead of fuelling more fights and relapses.

We also tackle the big one: is addiction a moral failing or a disease—and why the answer changes everything about how you talk to yourself and the people you love. This episode is funny, raw, and seriously practical. Hit play for yourself, or share it with the person in your life who thinks they understand addiction—you might both walk away seeing it completely differently.

Ambers Bio:

"After more than 20 years working with people struggling with addiction and the families who love them, I’ve come to a conclusion that goes against much of what people are told about addiction: it isn’t a hopeless condition that people are powerless over. More often, it’s a deeply ingrained pattern built on falsebeliefs, and false beliefs can be changed. Through my work, I’ve built a YouTube community of more than 800,000 subscribers. The comment I hear most often is, 'I wish I had known this years ago. I would have done everythingdifferently.'"

SocialMedia Links:

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT8PE1v0xFR9zLXOijxM6hg
IG : https://www.instagram.com/puttheshoveldown/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/addictionrecoveryhope

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amber-hollingsworth-833111b8/

Shaun “Big Red” McDonough thought a quick punt on a sure thing would make life easier – instead it cost him over $220,000, his self‑respect and almost his life.

In this raw conversation, he shares how childhood poverty and violence, a “harmless” betting habit and online gambling led him to the train tracks, and how counselling, self‑exclusion tools and his daughter’s courage helped him start again.

Shaun shares:

• Growing up in government housing with just him and his mum, surrounded by alcohol, family violence and poverty, relying on charity and support, and how that fuelled his drive to work hard, save and “do the right thing.”

• Leaving school early to support his mum, slowly chipping away at a mortgage, and finally being able to give his own family the Christmases he never had.

• How a one‑off Melbourne Cup tradition with his wife slowly normalised betting, and how an “easy” $2,000 bet on champion racehorse Winx to win $200 opened the floodgates.

• Losing around $220,000 over three to four years, burning through his work cover payout and dipping into his super, even while paying off the house and trying to give his family a better life.

• The way gambling changed his personality – lying, hiding, constantly flicking channels and phones to check races – and the damage it did to trust with his wife and daughter.

• Hitting rock bottom: Centrelink saying no when he had nothing left, sitting on train tracks ready to end his life, and multiple suicide attempts that even the betting company had to escalate to emergency services.

• His daughter’s lifesaving phone call to Gamblers Help, the years of counselling that followed, and why he still sees himself as “in recovery,” with that demon on his shoulder always tapping for one more bet.

• Practical tools that helped: Gamblers Help counselling, financial counselling, the national self‑exclusion register BetStop, and TAB Care to keep him out of venues and apps.

• Why he decided to go public with his story and now uses his lived experience to push for safer gambling laws and to stand alongside other addicts and their families.

At the core of Shaun’s story is love: his relationship with his mum, how growing up in poverty and violence shaped his beliefs about money, safety and loyalty, and why he’s so passionate about helping others who were raised in the same chaos he was. This is a raw, honest, trigger‑warning conversation about gambling, secrecy, shame and suicide – but it’s also a powerful reminder that you’re not alone, and that there is a way out.

From Meth, Jail and Losing His Kids to One Year Clean – Warren’s Story of Starting Again at 42Former registered nurse and father of four, Warren Clarke, opens up about how recreational meth use in his late 20s spiralled into addiction, homelessness, crime, and four months in jail — and how he’s now one year clean, rebuilding trust with his family and learning to like himself again.

This brutally honest conversation covers handing his kids to his parents because he knew they weren’t safe, the day his son begged him not to die, and how moving to Melbourne with nothing but the clothes on his back became a line-in-the-sand moment for his recovery.

If you’ve ever thought you were too far gone or too old to start over, Warren’s story will change your mind.#SlayingSober #RecoveryPodcast #AddictionRecovery #MethRecovery #AustralianPodcast #SobrietyJourney #NA #LivedExperience

From daily ice and heroin use, ram raids and guns, to walking his kids into school and working in rehab – Jordan’s story is a slow, gritty rebuild from the ground up. He grew up in domestic violence, started drinking and using in high school, and by 20 was a daily ice user whose life revolved around crime, jail, and chasing the next hit.

In this episode we unpack:

• How losing his dad during COVID sent his using into psychosis, homelessness and another stint inside

• Detoxing cold-turkey in jail and why drug court, meetings and a sponsor finally made recovery stick

• The brutal reality of starting again with no job, no career, broken trust and zero “normal adult” skills

• How he kept building slowly: doing what was suggested, taking guidance, rebuilding relationships and finding purpose in AOD work

• The routines that keep him clean today – being a present dad, simple daily structure, and staying connected to the rooms

You’ll also hear how Jordan discovered recovery content on TikTok, why he now shares his own story there, and how “TikTok Jordan” is helping people in early recovery believe that a fulfilling, substance‑free life is possible.

This episode is for you if:

• You feel stuck in the cycle of relapse, jail, courts or chaos

• You’re scared of starting again from nothing

• You’re a parent in addiction wondering if you can ever show up for your kids

• You’re in early recovery and need proof that slow change still works

Hit play to hear how one bloke went from ram raids to recovery TikTok – and why he says the slow, suggested path is the one that finally set him free.

Husband, father, business owner and Slaying Sober podcast host James Date joins Ash Butterss on Behind the Smile to share his journey from blackout drinking, drugs and party culture to rehab, 12‑step recovery and a life grounded in service, spirituality and genuine contentment on the Mornington Peninsula.

A former “life of the party”, James opens up about high‑functioning addiction, suicidal ideation, ego, stigma, outpatient rehab at Arrow Health, sponsorship, gratitude and learning how to become a truly present dad, partner and leader in recovery.

Connect with Ash:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashbutterss/​

TEDx Talk – What School Doesn’t Teach You About Happiness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfclluaXT4Q​Website: https://www.ashbutterss.com

PART 2 - More nuggets of wisdom from Ty

Ty goes from bullied kid in Ferntree Gully to 450 charges, homelessness, psych wards, and multiple stints in jail – and is now rebuilding his life with six months clean, off all meds, and deeply connected to NA and spirituality.​

From 450 Charges to Spiritual Awakening: Ty’s Story

In this raw and unfiltered episode of Slaying Sober, Ty shares how early bullying, weed at 12 and party drugs as a teen spiralled into meth addiction, crime, homelessness, psychosis and multiple prison sentences –and how a suicide attempt, a peer worker named Jo, NA, and tough love from his family pulled him into recovery.​

In this episode, we talk about:​

Perfect for anyone who’s ever felt “too far gone” or stuckin the system and needs proof that recovery – deep, spiritual, connected recovery – is possible.

Ty goes from bullied kid in Ferntree Gully to 450 charges,homelessness, psych wards, and multiple stints in jail – and is now rebuilding his life with six months clean, off all meds, and deeply connected to NA and spirituality.​

From 450 Charges to Spiritual Awakening: Ty’s Story

In this raw and unfiltered episode of Slaying Sober, Ty shares how early bullying, weed at 12 and party drugs as a teen spiralled into meth addiction, crime, homelessness, psychosis and multiple prison sentences –and how a suicide attempt, a peer worker named Jo, NA, and tough love from his family pulled him into recovery.​

In this episode, we talk about:​

Perfect for anyone who’s ever felt “too far gone” or stuckin the system and needs proof that recovery – deep, spiritual, connected recovery – is possible.

From £10 Pom to heroin haze in 1970s Bali — speed psychosis, queer activism, jail time, and 48 years sober.

Kate Rowe’s raw memoir How the Fck Would I Know? proves recovery miracles happen — but only with brutal honesty and hard work.

🎧 Listen if you want hope that “geographical cures” fail, fragments can reform, and life past 75 sober can feel like the fourth dimension. Raw recovery talk for addicts, LGBTQ+ history buffs, and anyone chasing that humility glow-up.

Guest Bio – Kate Rowe
🏳️‍🌈 78er: Arrested at Sydney’s first Mardi Gras (1978); bashed and jailed for shouting “Up the lezzos!” — paving the way for today’s Pride.
📚 Author: How the Fck Would I Know? (2025) — a no-BS memoir of addiction, near-death from hepatitis, smuggling fails, suicide bids, and a full sobriety rebuild.
🏊 Ironwoman: Competed in brutal ocean swims post-recovery.
🎶 Ukulele player: Her sober-life hack — “you can have fun!”
🌐 Connect: katerowe.net | Buy book on Booktopia

Timestamped Highlights (Recovery Gold)
00:40 – Book meaning: “What the f*ck would I know?” = Stay teachable at 75. No ego, just growth.
01:52 – £10 Pom escape: Fled UK booze/pills/anorexia; landed in Australia’s 70s drug scene.
06:39 – Bali 1970s drug fest: Heroin smoke (no needles = “not addict” delusion). Smuggling, hepatitis, chaos.
12:37 – UK welfare job turned coke-dealing den; bosses, guns, paranoia.
17:13 – Speed psychosis, suicide attempts, Mogadon OD — AA at Rozelle saves her.
21:55 – Therapist: “You’re fragmented.” The long road to wholeness — now 48 years sober.
26:45 – Lesbian awakening, Mardi Gras fightback, queer denial around addiction.
36:43 – Sober at 75: “Miracles take years and brutal work.” Talks to the sky for guidance.

4 Brutal Takeaways

• You take you everywhere: “Geographical cures” are myths.

• Addict logic: “Doc said no booze, not no drugs.” Madness.

• Fragment fix: Honesty + work rebuilds you (took 20 years).

• Sober joy: Ukulele, Ironwoman events, Pride hugs from Gen Z.

PART 2:

The Power of Change and The Power of Forgiveness

From Rage to Redemption: Addiction Recovery Story

Melbourne dad Joe shares his raw journey from childhood sexual abuse, bullying, and bikie violence to sobriety.

Hiding trauma as a teen, he turned to booze, drugs, and bouncing—until a rage-filled night destroying his home terrified his daughter.

Discover AA, monastery rehab in Italy, martial arts mastery, and forgiving his abuser.

Now an AOD teacher and coach, Joe proves change is possible.

Key topics:

• Italian-Aussie identity and school racism

• Suicidal thoughts and brutal violence

• Bikie life costs on family

• "Warrior" discipline for self-control

• Grandfather life changing lives

If you're battling addiction or trauma, this hits hard

#podcast #spotify #podcasting #healingjourney #addictionrecovery #slayingsober #mentalgrowth #martialartslife #resilience #identitytransformation #selfcontrol#warriorspath

From Rage to Redemption: Addiction Recovery Story

Melbourne dad Joe shares his raw journey from childhood sexual abuse, bullying, and bikie violence to sobriety.

Hiding trauma as a teen, he turned to booze, drugs, and bouncing—until a rage-filled night destroying his home terrified his daughter.

Discover AA, monastery rehab in Italy, martial arts mastery, and forgiving his abuser.

Now an AOD teacher and coach, Joe proves change is possible.

Key topics:

• Italian-Aussie identity and school racism

• Suicidal thoughts and brutal violence

• Bikie life costs on family

• "Warrior" discipline for self-control

• Grandfather life changing lives

If you're battling addiction or trauma, this hits hard

#podcast #spotify #podcasting #healingjourney #addictionrecovery #slayingsober #mentalgrowth #martialartslife #resilience #identitytransformation #selfcontrol#warriorspath