SmartLoving Conversations

We’ve been promoting and teaching Fertility Awareness Methods (FAMs - also known as Natural Family Planning) for over two decades. One of the things we hear often, is how couples, and especially women, lament that they didn’t hear about FAMs earlier. Disenchanted with popular contraceptives, they welcome a natural option.

https://smartloving.org/the-natural-revolution/

How can we inspire young people to embrace stable, loving marriages when so many grow up without seeing them?

We’ve all heard stories that stop us in our tracks. One that sticks with us is about a teacher in an inner-city U.S. primary school who discovered her students didn’t know what a wedding was. Not one had seen a marriage up close.

Role Models for Marriage - SmartLoving

‘Mind Reading’ is one of those clairvoyant arts that seems to elude us when it comes to marriage. Too often we make the mistake of assuming that our spouse knows what we need without communicating clearly about it. How many times have we, or our spouse, declared in exasperation to the injured one: “I’m not a mind reader! You have to tell me what you need if you want me to help!”? Yet when it comes to communicating negative, judgemental or critical thoughts our ‘mind reading’ capacity seems to have a more sensitive radar.

The BS Detector

On our wedding day, we joyfully left our family homes to begin our married life together. Living and worshipping in the same parish, with similar ethnic heritage and family structure, we thought ‘cleaving’ together would be easy. How wrong we were!

Leaving and Cleaving is Complicated - Family of Origin

Most marriage counselling and education focuses on conflict and incompatibility. It seeks to help couples find constructive ways of dealing with challenges in the relationship. It’s a kind of ‘damage control’ approach that seeks to minimize the impact of negative experiences.

Positive Thinking

Who would have thought espresso cups could cause such drama? Byron had discarded the unused ‘free’ cups a year earlier, without Francine even noticing their absence. After a frantic search when a guest requested an espresso, she discovered their fate.

Understanding Compound Wounds - SmartLoving

I was very pessimistic as a teenager. I tended to see everything negatively, and even when something good happened, I always noted how it could be better. I didn’t make very good company, even for myself. That changed when I fell in love, and learned a new way of relating to the world. I learned to think positively and to ‘count my blessings’.

positive thinking, saying thank you, optimism, for a happy relationship, pessimistic,

We’ve all heard marriage is a journey, but what happens when it feels like a marathon with no finish line?

Every couple faces trials – tension with family, disappointment or frustration at work, unemployment, or health struggles. What hurts most isn’t always the trial itself – it’s the feeling of being alone in it, especially when our spouse seems indifferent.

Going the distance is easier together - SmartLoving

Every nation remembers the sacrifice of their war veterans with a Memorial Day. Thinking about your marriage: is it more of a battlefield than the safe harbour it is intended to be?

https://smartloving.org/war-and-peace-on-the-home-front/

It’s that time of year when parishioners scatter like startled sheep. The call goes out for volunteers to have their feet washed on Holy Thursday, and suddenly, we’re armed with a thousand excuses.

We get it – our knobbly, stinky feet aren’t exactly our best feature. The idea of baring them in public, especially to our parish priest, is mortifying.

A trip to the nail salon is different. It’s transactional – pay the fee, walk out with polished toes, no vulnerability required. But when our priest kneels to wash our feet during the solemn liturgy of Holy Thursday? That’s a whole other story.

https://smartloving.org/calling-volunteer-feet/