So Horrified!

A Haunting at Silver Falls: The Return is a sequel that relies heavily on callbacks to a movie that you probably haven't seen. It also has ghosts that haunt people by sticking fingers into their mouths, and ghost twins that are sometimes evil and sometimes helpful. A Haunting at Silver Falls: The Return is available on Netflix.

Many reviewers described American Poltergeist using phrases like "porno-level acting, but without any sex." That's about all you need to know about this movie where the ghost of axe murderer Lizzie Borden stalks a group of college kids and their bonkers landlady,American Poltergeist is available on Amazon Prime Video.

Watch a young(ish) Michael Rooker take on an oily demon with a goofy voice in Bram Stoker's Shadowbuilder. This is also the first movie that Matt and Saidee have disagreed about, so listen and find out who actually liked this one!Bram Stoker's Shadowbuilder is available on Amazon Prime Video.

Jennifer Lawrence and Elizabeth Shue both do their best to keep House at the End of the Street from being terrible. Unfortunately, they're fighting against bad pacing, a generic plot, and one too many twists. There's a reason this movie has an Oscar-winning A-list actress and you've still never heard of it.House at the End of the Street is available on Netflix and YouTube.

The Hoarder is a movie where a bunch of strangers in a storage facility who get picked off by an unseen killer one at a time. It stars Mischa Barton and some guy with his mouth stapled shut, which is about all you need to know. In Saidee's Rabbit Hole, we uncover more tales of storage unit hell.The Hoarder is available on Amazon Prime Video and YouTube.

Our movie this week, Polaroid, managed to rip off both a Goosebumps book and an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark all at the same time. Kathryn Prescott (Finding Carter, Skins) and Mitch Pillegi (The X-Files) star in this tale about a haunted camera that kills you if it takes your picture, and a bunch of stupid teenagers that keep taking pictures with it.Polaroid is available on Netflix.

Dark Light is probably the closest we've come to a decent movie so far, but that isn't really saying a whole lot. The movie stars a bunch of people you've never heard of in a story you've seen a dozen times: Woman moves into house, house is hiding something scary. This week's episode also includes Bonus Trivia about last week's movie!Dark Light is available on Netflix.

2011's The Roommate really wants to be Single White Female for a new generation. While they came nowhere close to the quality of the original, The Roommate did manage to snag a few (undeserved) Teen Choice Awards nominations as a consolation prize. Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl) and Minka Kelly (Friday Night Lights) star in this slasher flick that never really does very much slashing.The Roommate is available on Netflix.

Continuing our virus/quarantine theme, we watched 2018's Day of the Dead: Bloodline. This one stars Sophie Skelton (Outlander) as a zombie-fighting med student, and Johnathon Schaech (That Thing You Do) as the half-zombie, half-stalker who wants to lick her face. Note: This is NOT the 2009 version with Nick Cannon. It's the one that's somehow worse.Day of the Dead: Bloodline is available on Netflix.

This week, we discuss Cabin Fever: Patient Zero, the third movie in a franchise that probably didn't even need a second entry. Someone dragged poor Sean Astin into this, and even he couldn't save it. Plus, there's a scene involving oral sex and decomposing flesh, so...let's get this over with. Cabin Fever: Patient Zero is available on Hulu.