So, How's Therapy?

Your net worth does not equal your self-worth.

It sure does feel like that sometimes though, doesn’t it? Money is a hard topic for most of us to discuss, but that doesn’t mean we should just ignore it completely. I spoke with my friend and colleague Jelisha Gatling (LMFT), founder of Let’s Unpack Therapy about money, relationships, and how we as individuals relate to money.

She actually just released a course about this very topic called Money, Mindset, and Marriage.

I honestly forgot we were recording a podcast while she and I were working on this episode. I learned so much, and there were so many ‘aha’ moments. Especially around money scripts…but more on that later.

• What financial infidelity is and how it can impact your relationships
• Shame, guilt, and scarcity and how it relates to money
• How gender norms, our childhoods, etc. can impact our view on money
• Money and intergenerational trauma
• The four money scripts and what they mean
• How to set healthy boundaries around money with those around you
• How ‘Let me think about it’ is one of the most powerful sentences you can use

• Jelisha’s Money, Mindset, and Marriage Course
• Let’s Unpack Therapy
• Jelisha’s Instagram @savingthesaver
• Free Money Scripts Quiz

https://cohesivetherapynyc.com/blog/relationships-money-struggles-with-guest-jelisha-gatling/

Managing a chronic illness impacts every facet of life: from work to dating, to parenting, and everything in between.

If you’ve dealt with chronic illness, especially an invisible illness, it can be hard to effectively communicate with those around you about your needs. If you look good on the outside, people might think you feel okay on the inside. Unfortunately, sometimes that couldn’t be further from the truth.

In this episode, my colleague Rachel Kaplan, LCSW, and I are talking about all things chronic illness – from spoon theory to how it can impact various facets of people’s lives.

• How a chronic illness diagnosis can alter someone’s way of life completely, how they see themselves, and how they relate to others
• About toxic positivity, and how sometimes those with chronic illness can do it to themselves
• How to better explain to someone that doesn’t have a chronic illness what it’s like to live with one
• That invisible illnesses can be some of the hardest to deal with
• If you know someone with a chronic illness, how you can better support them

• Managing Chronic Illness
• More Information on Rachel Kaplan, LCSW

https://cohesivetherapynyc.com/blog/so-hows-therapy-004-managing-chronic-illness-what-you-dont-know-does-hurt-me-with-host-karen-conlon-lcsw/

Childhood Emotional Neglect happens when well-meaning parents don’t adequately tend to their children’s emotional needs, but it doesn’t mean they are bad parents.

If you feel like you had well-meaning parents, but you struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, or emotional distance, you might have experienced Childhood Emotional Neglect. CEN comes in many forms, and the effects are long-lasting.

• How Childhood Emotional Neglect is a not-so-obvious trauma
• The difference between psychological abuse and emotional neglect
• The common effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect
• Why your parents may have been emotionally unavailable or unaware
• Why we need emotions in the first place
• What we can do to begin the healing process

• Childhood Emotional Neglect Questionnaire from Dr. Jonice Webb
• Running on Empty by Dr. Jonice Webb, PhD
• Running on Empty No More by Dr. Jonice Webb, PhD

Full show notes: https://cohesivetherapynyc.com/blog/what-is-childhood-emotional-neglect-and-how-it-impacts-your-adult-life/

It’s easy to believe that life without anxiety would be easier, more peaceful, and overall better. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

In reality, anxiety is a necessary part of our lives and warns us when things can go wrong. It protects us when we are faced with a fight, flight, or freeze situation, and motivates us to take charge of situations.

But while anxiety can be helpful, when it starts to impact your day-to-day life negatively it can become a problem. Living with constant anxiety isn’t good for your health – physical or mental. The good news is there are lots of ways we can work together to help you cope.

• Why anxiety is not something we can cure (and why nobody should tell you they can)
• When anxiety can actually be helpful
• How different people experience anxiety – from Generalized Anxiety Disorder to Panic Disorder, to Social Anxiety Disorder and more
• How different types of anxiety manifest in our lives
• The difference between helpful worries and unhelpful worries

Full show notes: https://cohesivetherapynyc.com/blog/get-rid-of-anxiety/

Perfection paralysis tends to visit some of us more than others, but it’s probably something that we can all relate to.

It’s that nagging feeling you have when you’re working on something productive, but you know you should be working on that task you’ve been putting off. Or delaying a task because you don’t think you’ll be able to execute it well enough – you just need a few more hours of research and then you’ll get started. It’s avoiding tackling the work at hand, and reasoning with yourself as to why you shouldn’t work on it yet.

Perfection paralysis is avoiding tasks, even though you know you should be making progress on them. Maybe you’re worried about what would happen if you fail. Or perhaps you have negative emotions around the person or thing you’ll need to work on to complete the task. Maybe you’re concerned about what would happen if you succeed.

No matter the reason, perfection paralysis can have a negative effect on our lives and cause us to delay, avoid, and procrastinate. So what do we do about it? We look deeper into why and how we are experiencing perfection paralysis.

After all, delay, avoidance, and procrastination are rarely ever about lack of time, but rather your feelings and emotions about the task at hand.

• First, the usual suspects when dealing with procrastination, including fear of judgment, anxiety around imperfection, imposter syndrome, and how to deal with each of them
• How delay and avoidance are symptoms of the real reasons we experience perfection paralysis – our emotions
• How I struggled with perfection paralysis and imposter syndrome, and how I overcame it.
• Learn to tackle perfection paralysis head-on, so you can finish that task that is taking up too much headspace and achieve your goals
• Lastly, My big why for starting this podcast, and how your big why can help you succeed in moving past perfection paralysis, too.

Overall, while perfection paralysis may tend to visit some of us more than others, it’s probably a feeling we can all relate to. By leaning on your support systems, doing enough research to feel confident (but not too much that it becomes its own delay tactic), knowing that it’s okay to fail, and just starting, you can overcome those fears of judgment, anxiety about not achieving perfection, and make progress towards your big dreams and goals. After all, if you let perfection paralysis keep you stagnant, you’ll never know what you could have accomplished.

What is the one thing that you’ve been procrastinating, avoiding, etc.? Challenge yourself to think about what it is that that means to you. What are you anxious about?

If you feel so inclined, DM me your thoughts over on Instagram @so_hows_therapy_podcast, or send me a quick note at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you.

Full show notes: https://cohesivetherapynyc.com/blog/perfection-paralysis-with-karen-conlon-lcsw/

Launching in 2021, "So... How's Therapy" is a podcast that pushes beyond the traditional therapy format and presents psychotherapy in a way that's relatable, accessible, and easy to put into practice. Every week, we'll authentically connect to demystify and destigmatize all things therapy.

V24ZMwpwHFJDmlgZ4XzW