So, Now What?

Send a DM to Angela directly! Share your comments, feedback and feels.

You did it! You finally created an PLLC, opened a biz bank account, launched your website, and are waiting for your new clients. You might be accepting insurance under a group practice or are doing your own thing. 

Regardless, you get 7 consults. All at the same time. You are meeting your new potential clients. 

They are manageable and you are feeling good about each of them. But when you look at the calendar, dread sets in. 

"How can I sustain this?"

"How can I see 15 clients in one week indefinitely?"

"Am I going to make it through the week?"

You are wondering, how did I get from being thirsty for clients to very overwhelmed so quickly?

My guess is that you didn't evaluate client fit. You don't have a process in place to schedule clients on auto mode. You are troubleshooting schedule concerns after the fact. You are swimming in paperwork with insurance. 

When you signed up to be a MH clinician, you didn't think that you were not going to enjoy it. But now you feel defeated. 

Why?

It's because we make decisions in our PP from our therapist hat, not our CEO hat. 

Our therapist hat says, "how can I help as many people as I can?"

Our CEO self says "what is best for my clients and best for me?"

Our therapist self says "how can I squeeze in as many clients as possible without burning out?"

our CEO self says "what is my intention for my caseload? How do I want to thrive?"

This episode invites you to notice, who is in the driver's seat making these decisions. Tune in and find out

Come follow me on instagram @MentalLoadCoach and subscribe to my newsletter here. 

Schedule a free consult with me for my group coaching programs:

1) If you are the primary mental load carrier, click here

2) if you are the partner of the mental load owner, click here

Send a DM to Angela directly! Share your comments, feedback and feels.

Fear of Not Doing Enough and Developing an Unshakeable Assurance

The biggest threat to your feeling of not doing enough to help your client’s suffering isn’t your client. It’s YOU. 

If you are so afraid of the feeling therapist guilt, that you:

1)        Go over your allotted time for each session

2)        Over explain why time is up to soften the blow

3)        Extend the session beyond what is sustainable

4)        Ignore bathroom breaks/skipping lunch breaks

5)        Try to fix and patch things up before the end of session

Let’s be clear.. you’re not being kind, considerate, or generous. You’re slowly killing your therapeutic practice. Your guilt is getting in the way of you practicing your healing gifts fully. You are taking yourself out before you even get a chance for anyone to show any backlash. 

The first step to disarming therapist guilt or inadequacies?

Deepen your relationship to your worst fear if the scariest thing happened. 

What if your client was so mad at you for ending the session on time? What if your client perceived that you were a selfish and cold person?

Let me show you how to do that. Do the courageous work when you put yourself out there and take care of your needs. Prioritize your health. Stick to your boundaries of ending the sessions on time. Tune in and find out!

Come follow me on instagram @MentalLoadCoach and subscribe to my newsletter here. 

Schedule a free consult with me for my group coaching programs:

1) If you are the primary mental load carrier, click here

2) if you are the partner of the mental load owner, click here

Send a DM to Angela directly! Share your comments, feedback and feels.

Therapist burnout is a complex issue that requires more than just sabbaticals or vacations to address. Both systemic problems in the mental health field and our internal psychological patterns contribute to burnout, requiring dedicated inner work alongside traditional self-care practices.

• Systemic issues contributing to burnout include low pay, high client loads, decreasing insurance reimbursements, and commodification of mental health services
• BIPOC and marginalized therapists face additional "representation tax" as role models and advocates for their communities
• Through an Internal Family Systems lens, several internal "parts" often contribute to therapist burnout
• True healing comes from building relationships with these parts rather than trying to change or exile them
• Operating from "Self-energy" allows therapists to witness suffering without absorbing it and balance their needs with clients'

Come follow me on instagram @MentalLoadCoach and subscribe to my newsletter here. 

Schedule a free consult with me for my group coaching programs:

1) If you are the primary mental load carrier, click here

2) if you are the partner of the mental load owner, click here

Send a DM to Angela directly! Share your comments, feedback and feels.

After a summer hiatus, I return with a renewed focus on supporting mental health clinicians of color who are creating new pathways of healing. This season explores how to thrive professionally while navigating global crises, political instability, and the feeling that the world is burning around us.

• Challenging the misconception that solidarity requires personal suffering
• Unlearning the programming that we must sacrifice our well-being to honor others' pain
• Recognizing that revolutions require resources, not just sacrifice
• Understanding that regulated nervous systems can still experience righteous anger
• Avoiding displacing anger toward people who remind us of oppressive systems
• Noticing when fear and panic pull us away from self-care
• Finding your unique role in creating change without "burning everything down"
• Acknowledging that not everyone is meant to be at the front of protest lines
• Continuing to resource yourself financially and emotionally during difficult times
• Keeping revolutionary work grounded in love rather than fear

Come follow me on instagram @MentalLoadCoach and subscribe to my newsletter here. 

Schedule a free consult with me for my group coaching programs:

1) If you are the primary mental load carrier, click here

2) if you are the partner of the mental load owner, click here

Send a DM to Angela directly! Share your comments, feedback and feels.

What happens when the identities that make you who you are seem fundamentally at odds with each other? How do you reconcile being a mental health therapist who didn't recognize her own ADHD until their late 30s? Or being raised in a conservative Christian faith while gradually understanding your own queerness?These questions form the heart of this deeply personal episode where I share my journey of discovering parts of myself that had been hiding in plain sight. 

For years, I chalked up my struggles with time management, emotional regulation, and constantly shifting interests as simply personality quirks or the normal challenges of parenting three children while running a therapy practice. Little did I realize that these were classic manifestations of ADHD in high-achieving women—a presentation rarely discussed in traditional mental health training.

The pandemic's forced pause created space for self-reflection that led to profound realizations about how I'd been masking not just my neurodivergence, but other aspects of my identity that didn't fit neatly into the boxes I was raised to occupy. Through social media, supportive communities like Progressive Asian American Christians, and my own therapeutic work, I began to understand how the pressure to assimilate and belong can keep us from seeing ourselves clearly.

What I've discovered is that unmasking—allowing ourselves to be authentically seen—requires specific conditions: quiet reflection time, the ability to observe ourselves without judgment, compassionate relationships that celebrate our differences, and sometimes professional guidance to help navigate the complexities of self-discovery.

If you're navigating seemingly irreconcilable identities or feel like you're constantly working harder than everyone else just to appear "normal," this episode is my hand reaching out to say you're not alone. Your journey toward authenticity is worth every uncomfortable moment, and finding spaces where all your identities can peacefully coexist is not just possible—it's transformative.

Come follow me on instagram @MentalLoadCoach and subscribe to my newsletter here. 

Schedule a free consult with me for my group coaching programs:

1) If you are the primary mental load carrier, click here

2) if you are the partner of the mental load owner, click here

Send a DM to Angela directly! Share your comments, feedback and feels.

Navigating Midlife and Quarter-Life Crises: Personal Journeys and Insights

In this episode of the "So, Now What?" Podcast, we dive into the themes of quarter-life and midlife crises. I discuss how these crises can prompt significant changes in life, including shifts in routine, relationships, and self-identity. 

I share about the impact of being an adult child of asian immigrants and some barriers to self-discovery journey, such as norm matching, masking, and trying to live up to everyone else's expectations at the cost of my authenticity.

I explore common triggers for these crises, such as social media comparison, mortality awareness, and new health diagnoses. I talk about my struggles with the Evangelical Church, discovering my queer identity during the COVID-19 pandemic, and navigating a new-to-me label of ADHD (as a therapist!). 

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:57 Understanding Midlife and Quarter-Life Crises
06:50 Personal Experiences and Identity
09:53 Navigating Changes and Self-Discovery
11:50 Impact of COVID-19 and Realizations
15:06 ADHD and Personal Growth
24:35 Current Life and Professional Insights
27:08 Support and Conclusion

Come follow me on instagram @MentalLoadCoach and subscribe to my newsletter here. 

Schedule a free consult with me for my group coaching programs:

1) If you are the primary mental load carrier, click here

2) if you are the partner of the mental load owner, click here

Send a DM to Angela directly! Share your comments, feedback and feels.

In this episode, we explore the topic of straddling multiple cultures and multiple sets of expectations. I grew up with my family's ancestral culture, which is a blend of Chinese/Vietnamese values, which is mostly oriented around safety, security and stability (past, present and future). In addition, I've learned to straddle western values of "do what you want", "be creative", "follow your dreams." I've learned to show up with different versions of myself that would maximize a sense of acceptance and belonging with these different groups. 

The problem is that sometimes we don't realize that the values, beliefs, behaviors that we internalize and adopted may or may not be true to our authentic heartfelt values. We are so good with putting on so many masks to impress others, that we forget that we even have any masks on. 

This podcast is for those who can identify with this and want to answer the questions: "Who am I? What do I want? What is really true to me and what have I unknowingly adopted that I want to shed and release?"

If you didn't get a chance to figure out what you truly value and have not been granted the permission to orient your lives around you, consider this to be your permission slip to BE you and DO you. 

Come follow me on instagram @MentalLoadCoach and subscribe to my newsletter here. 

Schedule a free consult with me for my group coaching programs:

1) If you are the primary mental load carrier, click here

2) if you are the partner of the mental load owner, click here

Send a DM to Angela directly! Share your comments, feedback and feels.

Hi! 

I’m Angela Tam and welcome to my little corner of the podcast world. This podcast is for you if you are:

The FIRST in your family to live outside of the zone of survival. You are the first to break educational and career blocks in your lineage. You are the first to marry for love and not convenience. You are the first to navigate multiple cultures and identities. 

The ONLY or one of the few POC on your team, one of the few WOC on the PTA or in the boardroom. One of the few POC in your neighborhood with young kids. 

You are trying to do things differently than your family did. You want to measure success by different metrics. You want question why part of you wants to live up to others expectations while other parts of you want to to say F you to all the external pressure. You want to be a conscious parent and not pass down patterns that don’t serve you. So you are going to therapy and cultivating a reflective mindset. 

If you are an FOD (First, Only, Different), I’m excited to share this space with you. I am going to be your biggest fan and champion as we both define our own meaning of success. 

Come follow me on instagram @MentalLoadCoach and subscribe to my newsletter here. 

Schedule a free consult with me for my group coaching programs:

1) If you are the primary mental load carrier, click here

2) if you are the partner of the mental load owner, click here