So... that got me thinking!

I really hate it when some says I’m resilient..

It’s meant as a compliment I know, but I have real trouble allowing it to compute.

You see, I don’t want to be resilient, I don’t want it to be my identity or what I’m known for. I don’t want the badge of honour from struggle.

Because, what choice do you have? What choice do any of us have?

When situations and life hits you.. you don’t choose resilience.. you choose survival and resilience is an outcome. If we we were in a work situation our key performance indicator of life and struggle would be resilience..

Resilience is a measurement of how shitty, how difficult, how emotional a time we’ve had and how we’ve bounced back.

When I help teenagers with emotions and behaviours I explain resilience like this-

Think of life like a river.. sometimes the river is peaceful and calm and the sun is shining on your face. Sometimes the river is fast flowing and powerful and the rain is falling..

All of us fall into this river from the safety of our boats and least once on our lifetime, ( for some we fall in, many many times..)

How resilient we are, is how quickly we can get back into our boats and continue to paddle forwards.

We’re not measured by the luxury of our boats or the fact that our river is in an exotic place. Our river is our own. In this lifetime what we have to learn may require sunnier, calmer waters.. or.. we could use the lessons from the storms. But the lesson is in the recovery not as much as the endurance.

That is why I struggle with being applauded for resilience.. yes I might have learned tools to increase my bounce back ability.. but I don’t choose to. Sometimes I can reflect that what I thought was falling in the river was more of a steam.. some falls don’t hit us as deep.. but some leave us floating for a long time.

I procrastinated, treaded water on my life, consumed by the fall for many years. It can become very normal to hold onto the life buoy. Hoping, waiting to see if anyone will show up to rescue me.

I had a conversation with an amazing women this week who explained that her vices were actually the least of her worries from what she’d been through in the last few years. Which helped me remember the treading water, is in itself a needed recovery point.

A time you decide to survive and live. A time to catch your breathe, conserve energy, note what direction you want to steer your boat next.. but whilst this is happening you never consider how resilient you are, just what you need to do next to continue in your quest to get back to where you were.

I heard a word this week that embodies just this-

This word is Sonder - it means that everyone you pass has a life as complex and beautiful as yours. Difficulties and concerns. Our specific set of circumstances and situations could look different, but the complex emotions and understandings are universally human. It helps us see that we are all connected.

we all struggle and strive,

we feel and experience,

We fall and then rebuild

We shed identities and build new lives

We process and promise anew.

The in between and the journey from becoming to being, can be messy and uncomfortable. You can celebrate your survival, without attaching to it. Dream for more and appreciate how far you’ve come.

To sonder is a reminder that we are all at different points of our rectifying and wondering. Different points of getting back into the boat.

Today we may be on a river cruise.. tomorrow we thrown in and treading water.. maybe sonder is a reminder to be compassionate to yourself and others in where we are at. Taking what we need to honour our time.

We’re not behind.. just in sonder.

Thanks for reading Nat’s Substack - Perspective in the Pause ! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Im really proud to say that this is the 100th episode of the So… that got me thinking podcast!

In this podcast we are talking about the manual for life, but also what is truely the main ingredient for an amazing life!

This episode was inspired by a Ted Talk from Alua Arthur. The link is below - I would encourage anyone to watch it who wants a complete shift in their perspective about what matters!

Thank you so much for listening and subscribing to my Sub Stack! Let me know what you think!

Love Always

Nat x

https://www.ted.com/talks/alua_arthur_why_thinking_about_death_helps_you_live_a_better_life?utm_source=instagram&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=social&utm_content=2023-10-30-reel?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

"Cynefin" is a Welsh word meaning "habitat" or "Place." - Used to describe the elements of our situation and personal history. 

Today we are discussing our personal cynefin, does it hold us back or mould us into the people we are today?

You can find out more about my writing and coaching on my website - www.NWB-Coaching.com

March is on a mission to help people super charge their mindset to live a positive thinking fuelled existence, no matter your health condition!

In this week's episode we are discussing acceptance, shame, myths and preconceived ideas of invisible illnesses.

You can find March on Instagram - The Organic Mind Garden. 

If you have been feeling unsettled, in need of a change of perspective or mindset then this is the episode for you!

We are talking to Sylvia Morrison - Author, Speaker, Humanitarian, And Coach, Sylvia Morrison Believes that

“Everyone can begin now, to create the change that they desire by doing

one small thing." Sylvia courageously stepped away from her teaching career of 30+ years in the classroom to follow the Calling in her heart. She has received numerous awards and international recognition, for her humanitarian work.

She’s the Founder of Links Across Borders, a non-profit organization that co-creates libraries, and facilitates educational programs for children in Ghana, West Africa.

We discuss inspiration to follow your heart, turning inward, changing your focus and discovering our own worthiness. 

You can find out about Sylvia at the links below - 

https://sylviamorrison.com/ https://linksacrossborders.org/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamsylviamorrison/

Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/sylvia.morrison.77

A message for all those who need a reminder of all they offer the world! 

On todays podcast we are talking about mini doses of stress and how we mange those. 

We are also considering the re evaluation of who we are and what we want next - checking in with ourselves and our next steps.

Have a wonderful week!

Nat

On todays episode we are having a pep talk!

Sometimes we need to remember who the F we are! 

Let me remind you. Remember - Just be you, everyone else is taken!

You can find out more about Nat - www.nwb-coaching.com

We have the wonderful Jiselle from the Mighty Emotions Podcast.

We are talking about how we can use our emotions to find resilience and self awareness to understand what our feelings are trying to tell us and. show us, healing emotional pain and finding inner peace! 

Jiselle is currently completing a challenge on her IG - Follow her now to sign up! - mighty_emotions

We have a bumper episode!

Your host Nat is discussing.. can we think ourselves happy? There is research to suggest we can.. join her in a challenge for February - think ourselves happy! Using our brain as a muscle and focusing on happy thoughts only!

We are hen joined by Sian from Calm women on IG, as we discuss navigating anxiety, self mastery, motivation and how developing a practice can be key!

There is lots to think about on todays episode!

If you want to be part of the challenge.. send us a message or watch out for the IG live soon.