Those of you who have been following me since the Health Is Hell era will probably remember the iconic videos I used to post with my beloved Grandma Jean. To the outside the world, she and I seemed to have the warmest, funniest, most loving relationship, and for the majority of my life we did. The truth was, though, those videos were made as my coping mechanism during the beginning of her long and painful struggle with Dementia. 4 years later, my grandma is no longer my grandma: she's cold, paranoid, angry, manic. Her memory and life force are gone. I still see her, but I don't recognize her anymore. Nobody ever talks about the unique pain that comes with mourning the death of somebody who is still alive. So, I figured I'd give it a try. To anybody out there with loved ones whose brains and bodies are being eaten by Dementia or Alzheimer's - I'm so sorry, and you're not alone.

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Love letters? Hate mail? Share your thoughts at [email protected]. Follow Ali on Instagram & TikTok @aliweissworld. Tales of Taboo is produced and narrated by Ali Weiss. Audio production by Wolf Taylor, Aamir Augustine, and Angelito Casal at WTF Media. Theme song by Chris Stathopolous. Cover photo by Erika Flynn. Cover art by Kristen Montenegro. "Degenerate" sweatshirts & G-Strings are available on Ali's Instagram via DM.