Solo Parent Life | Single Parent | Divorce | Single Mom | Single Dad

Since bringing in Conscious Parenting to my coaching practice and my personal life, I have seen a powerful positive change in how I relate to my children. This is why today’s interview with Sandra Fazio is personally so wonderful for me. Sandra not only teaches parents how to begin bringing the principles of Conscious Parenting into their homes, but she also loves it out with her own daughter. Sandra, like many parents, thought she had everything planned out to perfection. As we all learn once we become parents, children rarely align with even the best-laid plans. Sandra found it difficult to relate to or discipline her daughter, and so she turned to Conscious Parenting to end some of the strife in her home. What she unlocked was a whole new way of not just thinking about her child, but about herself too.

When the pressure of being a Solo Parent pushes you to a breaking point, Conscious Parenting reminds you to check in with yourself. Self-kindness is easily one of the most powerful tenants of Conscious Parenting, and it’s a step that Sandra has taken to heart. She now encourages everyone to parent through deep connection and open communication. I am thankful to include Sandra’s story and perspective into the Solo Parent Community because she has faced many of the same setbacks that we have as well.         

Sandra’s story reminds us to take each day one step at a time. Your relationship with your children is ever-evolving, and it is time to trust that you know how to listen and respond to your children in a conscientious way.

More in this episode:

• Sandra shares her own motherhood story as an older mother.
• How Sandra got interested in conscious parenting.
• Tough times parenting her daughter influenced Sandra to stop putting so much anxiety into how her planned parenting.
• Letting go and living presently enabled Sandra to see how conscious parenting could change her life.
• What conscious parenting is all about.
• How Sandra incorporated conscious parenting into time with her daughter.
• Parenting is an ever-changing, ongoing journey.
• Children are operating at a much higher wavelength now.
• Sandra needs to pay attention to her daughter to see how her needs change.
• How to cope with our own triggered emotions.
• Parents have to wear many hats.
• How to say “no.”

Resources:

Sandra Fazio

Facebook - Sandra Fazio

Parent Listening Group

Solo Parent Life - Coaching

Parenting your pre-teens and teenagers has its own unique set of challenges. While there might not be any more diapers to change or tantrums to manage, older children still need a specific kind of love and attention. Most of the time, parents end up frustrated! This phase of life can often be isolating for Solo Parents. Without carpool lines and trips to the park, it can be difficult to find a place to commiserate with fellow teen parents. This is exactly the kind of thing that my guest, Vickie Vann, is trying to fix!

Vickie is a fellow therapist in the area who loves to work with adults and families. She has a teen son and felt she was missing a safe place to express her concern, get advice, and vent a little. After finding there were no opportunities for parents of teens to connect and support each other, Vickie cofounded with Deb Blum parent support groups at her son’s high school. The groups have taken off, and many parents are finding comfort and confidence through genuine connection with one another.

Vickie is going to share just how powerful communities really are. She’ll dive deep into the mind of a teenager, and come up to bat for the dreaded “helicopter parents.” She is a wealth of advice on everything from scheduling sleepovers to pushing through homework blocks. If you are a teen parent, you are definitely going to want to give this show a listen! Parents of little ones, this episode is a glimpse into what’s coming for you in just a few short years. Pre-teens and teenagers require parenting in a different way. Don’t be afraid of these challenges! Instead, Vickie encourages us all to seek out opportunities to shape your children into the adults they will become. Deny it all they want, these teens still need mom and dad. We promise!

More in this episode:

• Vickie loves working with parents by creating discussion groups and support networks.
• Understanding the teenage brain.
• Our kids are exposed to so much so early, they seem more mature than they are.
• Parenting gets more intensive when your children get older.
• We can help our children develop and grow by “lending them” our frontal lobes.
• Letting our kids fail is not always the best method to teach them.
• Move out of negative thinking and into positive change.
• Stay in the game! Find your common ground and get into their world.

It is a busy time of year, isn’t it? With kids out of school, gifts to buy, and relatives to see, the pace of the holidays feels hectic, even more so for a single parent. There are some seasons of life when you feel all the weight of responsibility on your shoulders. Seasons come and go; some are wonderful, and some more difficult. Today, I wanted to highlight just how important it is we keep this in mind during times that are more hectic or troubling. I think this is something my guest, Kelsey Baldwin, knows well.

Kelsey is the owner of Paper +Oats, an online business that has seen a lot of success in recent years. Kelsey is also creating incredible online content including e-courses for budding business owners. On her blog, she often writes about how she manages a business as a single mother. Especially since she is pretty much the whole show at her business, I wanted to pick Kelsey’s mind about how she finds a balance between work and life. She maintains that balance well but acknowledges that it hasn’t always been easy. Keeping in mind the seasons that come and go, Kelsey moves her life in a direction that benefits both her and her daughter, Poppy, in a positive way.

This is a sweet and compassionate interview that will resonate well with those of us who are walking through a difficult set of circumstances. Let Kelsey’s story fill you with hope, and give you a few ideas for how to enter into this next phase of life.

More in this episode:

• Kelsey shares all about herself and her online business, Paper + Oats.
• The story behind how Kelsey became a single parent.
• The baby was a place for Kelsey to celebrate during the early days.
• We chat about how the grieving process really never ends.
• How to find the work/life balance with small children.
• Kelsey’s personal strengths that allow her to run her business on her own.
• Dealing with the pressure of everything falling on you.
• Parting words of wisdom for those of us in the middle of difficult seasons.

Resources:

Paper + Oats

https://www.paperandoats.com/

Join our Facebook community for my weekly Facebook Live: https://www.facebook.com/DrRockettSoloParentLife/

How can we all work together to build a community that supports our children? Our school-aged children spend most of their week at school, so our job as parents is to support and cooperate with the teachers they are spending that time with. Ideally, this process would be as collaborative and compassionate, but sometimes those teacher relationships can be challenging. This is why I am excited to have Dr. Arina Bokas with me today. Her book Building Powerful Learning Environments: From Schools to Communities is directed towards teachers but applies to everyone. She is going to talk about her book, her experiences as both a teacher and a parent, and then give us some strategies to use as our children grow and learn at school.                 

Building a good relationship with our teachers is essential for supporting your children through the school years.  Any good communication you can set up early will help pave the way to success. Dr. Bokas encourages us to approach communication with compassion and curiosity. She has such useful tools to share with us today, with wisdom directed at Solo Parents, who sometimes feel even more pressure to be involved in their child’s education.

You definitely do not want to miss out on this excellent interview! I certainly got a lot out of my conversation with Arina, and I know you will too.

More in this episode:

• Hear all about Arina’s experiences with school communities.
• The book was built around a need.
• There was a breakdown in communication and understanding, which leads to a divisive nature in our ability to teach our students.
• Parental concerns v. Teacher concerns.
• Understanding the whole child means we have to work together.
• The conflict between adults in the child’s life can affect them.
• Be proactive. Connect with your teacher at the beginning of the year.
• Teachers need to know you are a single parent.
• Do not be afraid to ask for help.
• Organizing time, allowing your child to struggle.
• Show curiosity in what your child is learning.
• Assisting students who are older.
• How to communicate what your child needs to your teacher.
• What happens when things don’t go the way you want them to.
• Don’t go over the teacher’s head to the principal.
• Be careful about our language. We can collaborate without playing the blame game.

Resources:

Kids Standard Magazine: http://www.kidsstandard.org/

Dr. Arina Bokas http://culturesofpartnerships.com/

Twitter @ArinaBokas

Link to buy Dr. Bokas’ Book:

Building Powerful Learning Environments

Are you feeling a little anxious about The Dating Talk? My kids are still very young, but I am already beginning to think about how to have conversations about healthy relationships. So often we think of words like “consent,” and automatically go to sex. Consent is about more than physical intimacy; it’s also about respect and boundaries. The more our children understand their boundaries and needs, as well as the needs of others, the better they will be when things like sex and dating come up in their lives.

We often get a little stuck on all the heavy emotions around dating and romance, so I wanted to bring to you a resource to help you navigate tricky moments. My guest today is Mike Domitrz, the author of May I Kiss You? And the founder of The Date Safe Project. Mike has created amazing resources for parents and kids to use together to have healthy conversations about relationships. Most important to Mike is that both adults and kids understand true consent requires more than permission to touch. It’s also about wanting that intimate contact. Consent comes down to communication, and you and I both know how tricky it can be to communicate with pre-teens and teens. Luckily, Mike has for us today some easy ways to have conversations that make the whole thing feel less icky and personal.

Do you want your kids to be able to respond well when their peers start joking about sex? What about sexting and pornography? Mike is going to share with you today the tools and skills your kids will need to know in order to navigate these tricky social situations. In the end, I think these conversations are an avenue to really connect deeply with your older kids. You do not want to miss out on all this information today!

More in this episode:

• Mike never planned to be speaking on sexual health and consent, but a family circumstance showed him his calling.
• Understanding consent in the healthy and the legal way.
• Clear communication with boundaries is key, and it won’t “ruin the moment.”
• Teaching consent starts with ourselves.
• How we can open the door to conversations about consent.
• Issues of consent crop up even without the issues of dating and sex.
• All about Can I Kiss You? And who it will really reach. There’s no age limit.
• Reading body language is a power trip.
• How to talk to your kids without making it personal and emotional.
• Giving kids skillsets to deal with all the hormones and feelings.
• Kids have information available to them online, so we can be a resource instead of their other sources.
• Dealing with sexting and giving them skills to handle moments with friends.
• How to have a goofy or a serious moment to connect with your kids.

Resources

Mike’s Online Home

https://www.datesafeproject.org/

Reach out to me to join one of our listening groups!

[email protected]

What can you do when your child is acting out? There is a lot of information out there about discipline, behavior modification, and diagnosing the root of your child’s behavior. Some of us have come from traditional, disciplinarian homes. Others have problems setting up boundaries. Have you ever taken a moment to reflect that these moments of acting out are a chance for you and your child to grow closer together? Before you lose your cool entirely, give this interview with Lori Petro a listen. She truly has some great recommendations and resources for parents who might be struggling with everything relating to discipline.

Lori is the mind behind Teach Through Love, a wealth of online resources for parents, solo or not, that serve to build up communication and enhance emotional intelligence with your kids. When your child is acting out, it is usually in response to an inability to express what they are thinking or feeling. We as parents have a huge opportunity to teach our children how to express themselves and then listen to what they have to say. Lori is going to show us today some ways that we can begin to build trust with our kiddos. We can build emotional intelligence starting with our own responses to behavior. It truly is as simple as learning to listen.

More in this episode:

• Lori created Teach Do Love to help parents understand their children.
• The big struggles most parents face as far as behavior is concerned.
• What are we saying to ourselves when our children are misbehaving?
• Lori sees conflict as a way to grow and develop our brains.
• Kids need to know it is safe to make mistakes.
• Lori uses her own childhood experiences to inform the resources she creates for parents.
• Forget whatever goals you are trying to work on, and work on building that relationship.
• Give your children an outlet for their feelings.
• Feelings are a part of life, and if we stuff them, they come out in different ways.
• We are really building emotional intelligence.

Resources

Teach Through Love: http://www.teach-through-love.com/

Is there such a thing as a perfect parent? Absolutely not! Is there such a thing as a thriving parent? YES! As Solo Parents, the pressure feels like its been pushed up to 11 for us. It can be a struggle to make it through the week with everything in one piece, let alone feeling good about those pieces! How can we begin to enjoy the abundance of life? What is the secret to a thriving life filled with contentment? It’s all about your mindset!

My guest today is Shawn Fink, the founder of Abundant Mama. Shawn’s program and writing are focused on supporting Moms, but her advice applies to everyone. She doesn’t shy away from difficult topics. Instead, she is on a mission to connect moms to one another with programs and tools designed to get you working from the inside out. She wants to show women that they can feel connected to other moms out there in a pursuit of abundance. Find people who are hurting like you are hurting, and then work together to heal and grow!

Shawn’s approach to parenting is compassionate and real. We talk about so many relatable topics, but the takeaway is that it is worthwhile to cultivate a contented life. Trust yourself on your journey, and take it slow. You’ve got this.

More in this episode:

• Shawn shares how all of her different life experiences allows her to fuel her writings on motherhood.
• Loneliness was a tool Shawn used to form Abundant Mama.
• What exactly is an Abundant Mama? Hint: It’s not perfection!
• How we can cultivate contentment.
• There is inner work to do to find abundance.
• So many of our struggles are universal, and there is such beauty in that!
• How to navigate parenting expert advice in your unique situation.
• Make decisions that honor where you are right now.

Resources:

Check out Abundant Mama Online and sign up for Shawn’s newest class!

http://www.abundantmama.com/

We love to sing the praises of self-care on the Solo Parent Life Podcast, but for many parents, actually finding the time and space to practice can be a challenge. If they do manage to find the time, we sometimes feel guilty or unsure that self-care is even worth the time! Are you one of those parents? Then this episode is for you! Have you been practicing self-care, but seem to be missing out on all the benefits? Then listen in too. Today, we sing just a little more to share our self-care successes!

One of the joys of my podcast journey has been reaching out to local parents in my area. Today, I got a chance to chat with my new friend Deb Blum. Deb is a Parent Coach who loves working with Moms on self-care. Not only is she a dynamic coach, but she is also quite simply a lovely person. I enjoyed my conversation with Deb, because of her generosity and care for others. She is truly a supporter of all Mamas from all walks of life, and I think you will find yourself encouraged after today. There is no right or wrong way to take care of yourself. It is all about being able to listen to what you need at the moment. Give yourself a little grace, and hop on into this uplifting episode!

Also in this episode:

• How Deb encourages her clients to make an identity shift and take care of themselves.
• What Social Media has done to the pressures of motherhood.
• How you can take steps to limit your suffering and embrace your full life.
• Deb explains how she learned to listen to her body and her emotions.
• Tools that parents can use to help us through life’s hardest struggles.
• The freedom of letting go of your to-dos, and embracing the small moments of joy!

Connect with Deb online

It’s been a year since I started Solo Parent Life, and I can hardly believe it! Thank you to all of you who have listened and offered feedback and support for me during this exciting journey. Today’s episode is simply a chance for me to pause and reflect on the insights that I have gained doing a year of podcasting. I’ll cover my favorite episodes, favorite guests, and challenging topics that I have used to grow as a parent. You are not alone out there, friend! Thanks for coming along on this journey with me.

More from this episode:

• I’ve been learning to trust myself.
• How to turn the volume down on your self-criticism.
• What this community has served to do in my life.
• Being present with our kids when they most need it is our greatest work in progress.
• I share some of my favorite episodes!

Links:

Feel free to reach out to me at [email protected] or go to soloparentlife.com/coaching to get started with your free 15-minute consultation.

Now that school is in full swing and the kids are (hopefully!) back in a routine, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to bring out this pre-recorded interview with Michelle Gale. Michelle is a kind and compassionate mother, who is encouraging parents with her own podcast, “Mindful Parenting in a Messy World.” Today, we sit down and chat a little about how to compassionately and mindfully connect to our children in the messy moments of life. 

Michelle is going to share with us today her practical, easy to use strategies to increase our awareness in the middle of our messy lives. Along the way, you’ll pick up a few memorable moments from our own adventures in parenting. All of Michelle’s wisdom comes with a healthy dose of compassion, so if you need a pick-me-up, this episode is for you. Take a breath. Let it out. And let’s begin with Mindfulness! 

More to learn in this episode: 

• Michelle shares how she teaches Mindfulness to everyone. 
• Why pausing and being Mindful brings power to your parenting.
• Let’s dispel some of the common myths of Mindfulness. 
• Learning to be present in any moment. Even the dull ones. 
• Michelle spills the beans on her new book. 
• How to cultivate self compassion. 
• How the S.T.O.P acronym can help you in the heated moments. 
• Practice Mindful Listening after school this week. 

Don’t forget to grab your copy of Michelle’s Book!

Mindful Parenting in a Messy World : 

https://www.michellegale.com/