Something Positive for Positive People

When I got my free std test done at STLEFA, I was tested for HIV,

chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphillis. This was a very sex positive and

inclusive space in St. Louis.

A woman who believes in the power of knowing and loving yourself, Erica sees beauty in ordinary things & has an artsy, creative side. In her eyes, sexuality is such a fundamental part of us as human beings & is at the root of what makes a person who they are. Through her work, she endeavors to unblock situations that keep one from sexual fulfillment by normalizing natural human sexual behavior.

Her Instagram page @s.xuallectual is an extension of her being. Check out this episode as she shares her chlamydia horror story and having to navigate the challenge of disclosing an STD to not one but two partners! Her story teaches us to move forward in a more informed way. While many of us disconnect from our bodies and sex after having been exposed to an STD, Erica shares a useful way to communicate with your partner(s) to better understand the potential risks of sexual encounters and how to move forward.

If you’d like to work together, Erica’s job will be toward a jointly constructed action-plan designed to move toward your goals. Your job will be to set the agenda which can include any facet of your sex life in which you seek improvement, enhancement, or expansion.

Erica is Consensual Non-Monogamy, Kink, BDSM, LGBTQ+ and Sex Worker Friendly. Connect @[email protected]

Piggybacking off of Rae's episode where we discuss support groups, we have Heather who runs the support group HSV in the City www.hsvinthecity.com and is on Instagram @hsvinthecity. Heather didn't have support groups in her local area. Through Instagram's Positive.Results.ATX she found support but way on the other side of the country. In this group, she was encouraged to create something she needed and didn't have access to and here we are. She also shares her own experience having been diagnosed accidentally without consenting to the test. Listen to why this is one of the best things to ever have happened to her! If you are in the Washington D.C. area seeking support, don't hesitate to connect with Heather!

Stay Positive!

Those Break the Stigma Day (April 24th 2019) hashtags are: #btsd #breakthestigma #whatstigma #herpesstigma

At long last we finally get an interview with Rae, who manages support groups in Austin, Texas for women living with HSV under the Instagram handle: @positive.results.atx

We talk about support groups and a little bit about what managing them may look like for someone considering doing so. We bring up the healing power we receive in giving, and of as the title says, "Choosing the Better Option".

"Rae is a ray of sunshine" is a cheesy understatement when she herself embodies the sun itself with her presence. A Sister Servant and amazing friend to have, I'm so honored to have been able to share your story on this platform to help people.

Connect with Rae on IG @positive.results.atx and check out some of the amazing work she does uplifting the Sisterhood she represents to the fullest!

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Vibrantly Mindful owner, Arielle Abramzik Travelstead, spent years of self criticism and internal chaos until she found her yoga practice which influenced her mindfulness. Learning to increase her own mindfulness and self awareness she's able to demonstrate to us how we can approach life circumstances with more compassion towards ourselves in a way that lightens the world and how we feel about ourselves.

We discuss self compassion and its application towards a positive diagnosis or anything that occurs in life.

I'm on social media @honmychest

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Fellow HANDS (Herpes Activists Networking to Dismantle Stigma) member Ana Pelaez shares her experience continuing a relationship with an HSV diagnosis after his disclosure to her. This conversation brought out some of my mommy/daddy issues, we use mental masturbation as a placeholder for mind fuck which is exactly what we do to ourselves often after a diagnosis, and we discuss the using our sexual energy in a way that works for us.

Ana is on Instagram @ampm_coach

Check out www.waxoh.com to see some of the blogs I submit on topics revolving around helping destigmatize STIs and a little bit of my own experiences as well.

Leave a review if you like this content and Stay Positive!

Answering all the questions we got in for this solo episode and addressing the unhealthy attachment I found myself to have with recent rejection.

Info for Laureen HD's project we all can get involved with:

Laureen HD partnered with Stevi Sesin to create a special edition of her art project ‘The Art of Loving Your Selfie’ called ‘Under My Skin’.

The project will be an art exhibition running in Berlin, Germany featuring art pieces of people with STIs reclaiming their outlook on their body. The aim behind the project is to not only show the world that having an STI doesn’t make someone unattractive, but more importantly to push the conversation around body positivity to include people with STIs.

They’re recruiting any person who has been diagnosed with an incurable STI - can be herpes (genital or oral), HIV, HPV - whose diagnosis has affected their relationship with their body. This person needs to be willing to be public about their diagnosis and be 18+.

For the stories selected, the project will involve two things:

sending a picture showcasing the level of nudity participants are comfortable with, which will then be turned into art in the style of The Art of Loving Your Selfie.Check our Laureen HD’s instagram to see what that looks like.

sending a voice note of you telling your story.

If you are interested, send an email to [email protected] with a paragraph of 150words max talking about how comfortable/uncomfortable your STI diagnosis made you feel in your own skin. DO NOT SEND A PICTURE OF YOURSELF YET.

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What would you do with the freed up energy you've given to you HSV diagnosis? Have you been obsessed with thoughts in your head about keeping your secret safe from the world? Are you living in fear of what would happen if anyone found out you were living with genital herpes? Would you be bored and restless or would you find another thing to give energy to in your life? Maybe something you can change?

Our guest, Aaron Sager shares his experience and how opening up led him to his current partner who at the time was HSV negative. This acceptance couldn't have happened had Aaron not owned his truth in order to make himself seen by those who are meant to be in his life. Stop hiding and apply your restrictive energy to something more useful.

Please leave a review if you enjoyed this episode or want to hear more from Aaron. Connect with him on Instagram @AaronSager_.

Dating Positives is a supporter of #SPFPP. Check out their blog WAXOH.com for some of the blog contributions I've made about my personal experience living with HSV.

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Showing support to someone opening up about their positive HSV status is a challenge on both ends. The person who chose to disclose to you feels safe doing so. Many times they may not NEED anything from you but to listen. They just may need to say it out loud. The best thing you can do is allow them to say what they have to say. Be present with them. And as someone disclosing, allow the other person to have their feelings about it as well. Herpes disclosures are awkward on all sides because we just don't know how the other person feels about it so we have to gauge emotions in that often awkward silence, and that's okay.

This episode is useful to anyone who may not have had anyone disclose to them yet, or recently someone has disclosed to you and you are seeking guidance to navigate the conversation. The person disclosing fears judgment that their character is now that of the stigma. Assure them they are not the stigma by encouraging them to challenge their beliefs about the stigma to their experience. Destigmatizing herpes starts with the people who have herpes.

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A good scare creates space for empathy. Think of all the times fear drove you to seek knowledge. Fellow HANDS member, Carlee and I discuss her experience after her HSV diagnosis and how she's managed it and been able to be so open about it in order to help others.

Rate, review and subscribe to this podcast to show your support and help us get more amazing guests who are open about their diagnosis and help others find the emotional aftercare necessary after a positive diagnosis.

Carlee is on Instagram @itscarleefit and I'm @HOnMyChest

Stay Positive!