Something Positive for Positive People

www.breakinghivstigma.org is an online platform aimed to normalize conversations around HIV/AIDS. We're in a time where these are manageable conditions and they need to be treated as such.

Rashard and I address HIV's prevalence in the black community and how harmful the stigma is in relation to people prioritizing their own pride over their physical health.

What could've been 2 episodes easily, has been trimmed down to 1 longer one. We discuss race which is something I know can be touchy, but as a community of sex positive people, this is something that has relevance to this particular conversation and we can all find useful if we listen.

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I'm on Instagram (most active there) @HOnMyChest. And I'm on Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit.

Stay Sex Positive!

Experiencing rejection is one of those things that's always a challenge emotionally. What helps is being able to reframe the idea that "being rejected" means anything more than that the other person just acknowledges that they can't sustain being the kind of person they need to be in order to be in relationships with us.

When we reject others, why is it so easy for us to do that? Just a few things to reflect on when thinking about rejection.

The ideation of Something (sex) Positive for (sex) Positive People had multiple catalysts and this experience was one of them. Adding to the goals, I choose to uplift organizations such as this Nonprofit, St. Louis Effort for AIDS that provide services to people who are positive with HIV and AIDS, as well as offer sex education resources, free condoms, free STD testing and affordable treatment!

My experience led me to believe the destigmatization of herpes, the shame around contracting an STI, and unwillingness to know your status stems from the belief that you'll be judged for engaging in sexual activities with partners. When I was tested, while I identify as cis-gendered, heterosexual male, he/him prounouns, I was asked that. I was asked if I was or engaged in sexual acts with sex-workers, trans-people, other cis-men, and I felt the intention was genuinely to be able to inform me according to my sexual preferences and how my health could be affected based on any health risks associated with the kind of sex I have.

Uplifting these shame free environments and making it normal to seek regular STI treatment, use these free condoms and get treated soon will help create space for people to be more understanding and aware of the risks that come with having partnered sex so that we're better prepared for how to deal with and manage an STI if we are exposed to one or if someone discloses to us that they have one. This allows for a partner to make a more educated/informed decision while creating shame-free space where the person disclosing is empowered to continue disclosing and giving partners that choice again and again if relevant. 

The compassion and empathy I was met with was beyond anything I received at an organization whose services I paid for. This nonprofit is just one of many all over the world that offers these services and I encourage everyone to utilize them. I challenge you listeners of this podcast to find, use, and share these resources so that it's more taboo NOT to know your status than it is to be positive so that we can begin to get treatment early and give sexual partners all the info they need to make a fully consensual decision to move forward sexually with us.

Enjoy this episode.

This organization is www.viventhealth.org and their Instagram is @viventhealth. I'm on Instagram @HOnMyChest

Stay Positive!

A woman who believes in the power of knowing and loving yourself, Erica sees beauty in ordinary things & has an artsy, creative side. In her eyes, sexuality is such a fundamental part of us as human beings & is at the root of what makes a person who they are. Through her work, she endeavors to unblock situations that keep one from sexual fulfillment by normalizing natural human sexual behavior.

Her Instagram page @s.xuallectual is an extension of her being. Check out this episode as she shares her chlamydia horror story and having to navigate the challenge of disclosing an STD to not one but two partners! Her story teaches us to move forward in a more informed way. While many of us disconnect from our bodies and sex after having been exposed to an STD, Erica shares a useful way to communicate with your partner(s) to better understand the potential risks of sexual encounters and how to move forward.

If you’d like to work together, Erica’s job will be toward a jointly constructed action-plan designed to move toward your goals. Your job will be to set the agenda which can include any facet of your sex life in which you seek improvement, enhancement, or expansion.

Erica is Consensual Non-Monogamy, Kink, BDSM, LGBTQ+ and Sex Worker Friendly. Connect @[email protected]

Piggybacking off of Rae's episode where we discuss support groups, we have Heather who runs the support group HSV in the City www.hsvinthecity.com and is on Instagram @hsvinthecity. Heather didn't have support groups in her local area. Through Instagram's Positive.Results.ATX she found support but way on the other side of the country. In this group, she was encouraged to create something she needed and didn't have access to and here we are. She also shares her own experience having been diagnosed accidentally without consenting to the test. Listen to why this is one of the best things to ever have happened to her! If you are in the Washington D.C. area seeking support, don't hesitate to connect with Heather!

Stay Positive!

Those Break the Stigma Day (April 24th 2019) hashtags are: #btsd #breakthestigma #whatstigma #herpesstigma

At long last we finally get an interview with Rae, who manages support groups in Austin, Texas for women living with HSV under the Instagram handle: @positive.results.atx

We talk about support groups and a little bit about what managing them may look like for someone considering doing so. We bring up the healing power we receive in giving, and of as the title says, "Choosing the Better Option".

"Rae is a ray of sunshine" is a cheesy understatement when she herself embodies the sun itself with her presence. A Sister Servant and amazing friend to have, I'm so honored to have been able to share your story on this platform to help people.

Connect with Rae on IG @positive.results.atx and check out some of the amazing work she does uplifting the Sisterhood she represents to the fullest!

Stay Positive!

Our guest spent years of self criticism and internal chaos until she found her yoga practice which influenced her mindfulness. Learning to increase her own mindfulness and self awareness she's able to demonstrate to us how we can approach life circumstances with more compassion towards ourselves in a way that lightens the world and how we feel about ourselves.

We discuss self compassion and its application towards a positive diagnosis or anything that occurs in life.

I'm on social media @honmychest

Stay Positive!

Fellow HANDS (Herpes Activists Networking to Dismantle Stigma) member Ana Pelaez shares her experience continuing a relationship with an HSV diagnosis after his disclosure to her. This conversation brought out some of my mommy/daddy issues, we use mental masturbation as a placeholder for mind fuck which is exactly what we do to ourselves often after a diagnosis, and we discuss the using our sexual energy in a way that works for us.

Ana is on Instagram @ampm_coach

Check out www.waxoh.com to see some of the blogs I submit on topics revolving around helping destigmatize STIs and a little bit of my own experiences as well.

Leave a review if you like this content and Stay Positive!

Answering all the questions we got in for this solo episode and addressing the unhealthy attachment I found myself to have with recent rejection.

Info for Laureen HD's project we all can get involved with:

Laureen HD partnered with Stevi Sesin to create a special edition of her art project ‘The Art of Loving Your Selfie’ called ‘Under My Skin’.

The project will be an art exhibition running in Berlin, Germany featuring art pieces of people with STIs reclaiming their outlook on their body. The aim behind the project is to not only show the world that having an STI doesn’t make someone unattractive, but more importantly to push the conversation around body positivity to include people with STIs.

They’re recruiting any person who has been diagnosed with an incurable STI - can be herpes (genital or oral), HIV, HPV - whose diagnosis has affected their relationship with their body. This person needs to be willing to be public about their diagnosis and be 18+.

For the stories selected, the project will involve two things:

sending a picture showcasing the level of nudity participants are comfortable with, which will then be turned into art in the style of The Art of Loving Your Selfie.Check our Laureen HD’s instagram to see what that looks like.

sending a voice note of you telling your story.

If you are interested, send an email to [email protected] with a paragraph of 150words max talking about how comfortable/uncomfortable your STI diagnosis made you feel in your own skin. DO NOT SEND A PICTURE OF YOURSELF YET.

Stay Positive!

What would you do with the freed up energy you've given to you HSV diagnosis? Have you been obsessed with thoughts in your head about keeping your secret safe from the world? Are you living in fear of what would happen if anyone found out you were living with genital herpes? Would you be bored and restless or would you find another thing to give energy to in your life? Maybe something you can change?

Our guest, Aaron Sager shares his experience and how opening up led him to his current partner who at the time was HSV negative. This acceptance couldn't have happened had Aaron not owned his truth in order to make himself seen by those who are meant to be in his life. Stop hiding and apply your restrictive energy to something more useful.

Please leave a review if you enjoyed this episode or want to hear more from Aaron. Connect with him on Instagram @AaronSager_.

Dating Positives is a supporter of #SPFPP. Check out their blog WAXOH.com for some of the blog contributions I've made about my personal experience living with HSV.

Stay Positive!