I am the ladder of Jewels for the Buddha’s descent from heaven, 

I am the Buddha descending on the ladder down to earth 

to offer compassion and the teachings, I am the beings 

in each of the six realms of Samsara, who immediately 

apprehend each other and are deeply stirred to awaken

I am receptive to a full spectrum of light. I am cross pollinated 

by many wisdom teachings disseminated by the wise ones 

who come and go like the wind, I honor all perspectives. 

I appreciate all the various names that the one God-goddess 

has acquired through time and human cultures

I am remembering the golden spine inside of its bony housing. 

I always reside  in the temple of my body. I make offerings of myself. 

I made these offerings to him when he came to me here.

my protection is in discernment, discriminating awareness wisdom, 

Padma family of the west, Lotus flower, Kali the red, Magdalena. 

my protection is in the respectful honoring of my own unique needs, 

in the filling out of my light body, in my protectors, 

peaceful and wrathful deities, and Archangels with whom I share a vow my safety and protection and supreme peacefulness are 

in the center of the mandala, the center of the four directions 

in the center of the Merkaba shared with the Stone people

with attention the performance of automatisms, 

actions that are unconscious, begin to fade and disappear. 

so do thoughts and images, desires, and ideas, memories, 

associations, similarities, and differences

freeing myself from the contracted reality that says 

I just have trauma. We can work on that level, tend to it kindly, 

we must, but even the heart and dakini bliss opening, 

and inner sanctum of mind flooded with light, 

can be experienced as suffering when we abide in samsara

The higher we go on the ascension spiral, the deeper we must travel into the underworld to balance the energies. 

I do this, and I find him here, we have done this before  

We have descended together, and we have risen up 

through the pillar of light in my body and his,

into the heavens together before the altar of the holy of holies, 

he does not want to make it real on the relative, 

but that does not erase my remembering, my recognition, 

I let him go, and I grieve, Everything else seems bland and uninteresting

I pray to find the color and sparkle of my own aliveness 

without the taste of him. I am, I feel, I need, 

I want, I speak, I move, I show myself in safety. 

he spoke of the Nature of Mind.

Year of the fire horse, manifestation, and completion, 

completing patterns, karmas, illness, old ways of being in confusion, completing projects, steps of projects, small movements forward 

free from expectation, Completing relationships,

the form of a relationship.

Going out of business sale, everything must go

the vow does not complete, or does it? relative, Absolute 

wisdom is the thread that continues to run through it all, 

the love is eternal, it is not finished, it evolves, the form of it evolves

Better a coyote ruckus, howling across the ridge, 

than the sound of rats squealing, in some kind of death throes, 

on this night of the full moon completely eclipsed at 3:33 am, 

Jewel Moon, Jewel Moonlight

Wisdom initiation in the heart center, seed replaces bodhicitta , 

atomic configuration, desire riding on life force, 

the dynamic of this Mandala is joy, most intensely felt in the gut 

“You love that medicine.” “Oh, I wrestle with it.” 

Yeshua  the master said, integrated, resisting delusion 

are those who long clearly for a foundation of peace 

between the warring parts of themselves; they shall find 

all around them the materials to build it

Sucking Angels, I call on you to suck on my fingers and toes 

the tip of my tailbone, the tip of my nose.  

draw dark substances from inside of face, lips, 

channels, the petals and mouth of the lotus

vacuum the Persian rug at my back and under my feet. 

suction me out, clean and holy, original goodness, unsullied 

the pressing and drawing out, drawing through, are exquisite, 

exchange of oxygen, electrons, hummingbird wings, 

thick trunk and earthy pelt of the Medicine bear

Angels of purification, my intimate places, remembering the mandala 

ripe and fertile, in readiness for liquid light and seed, hold me close

Yeshua the Master said, You are loved, even that shadowy self 

who still practices arrogant separation and has not yet opened the door to our Father-Mother's hearth and the nourishment found therein

water tiger, fire dragon, fire horse, this is the year

the answer to your prayers.

your protection, your awakened activities

can happen much more quickly through the dakini than just the buddha 

I dare to speak about the fire dragon out loud. my intimacies with him, you’d better have your protectors in place 

Om benzar ratna tsita raga rage hung phet so ha

you’d better make sure that you are speaking absolute truth. 

Wakinyan, thunderbeing, the raw energy from my eye 

cleanses the vision of the human

When one has been annihilated and comes from a place of deficit, 

it is easy for the mind to want to think that it is special and smart, puffed up like toad, he was so ready to decimate my inflation

The wrathful protectors destroy and magnetize, 

the peaceful protectors pacify and increase. 

the One of the Generous Reprieve of the Judgment 

is wealthy enough to have a pair of boots. 

Fire dragon, water lotus, water tiger

I lie on my bed with my feet to the east 

Place of the rising Sun and the masculine, 

my head to the west,  place of the Buffalo, inward, and the feminine. 

On my right, the south, King and Queen of the earth element, 

the jaguar and the red Bindu which is normally at the root, 

but on the right side, it helps to free and offer up 

the white glare of the masculine and the future. 

On my left is the north, green Tara, the destroyer, 

place of the reindeer and the white bindu which is usually

at the Crown, but here it frees and offers up the red death 

of the feminine and the past. I lie on the cross for the Crucifixion 

and I know I am not alone. There is such sweetness and rejoicing. 

I swoon with Birdsong, the dweller whispers to me 

of my ancient origins so I remember who I Am.

I Am She who Creates.  I Am the One who Loves All Things

songs of sorrow, songs of jubilee, 

your children taken and sold into slavery, you grieve with your family you are not alone, we sing. When the violation rejection and negation 

happen within the family, it is unspeakable, we sing. 

we come into the human experience slaves to our suffering, 

hot faggots are being applied to my limbs, 

slaves to the habits of the dark ages, we come to wake up to it, we sing.

When human understanding has been obliterated, 

we must embrace and sanctify, restore it to sanity, 

before we liberate it completely and let concrete reality dissolve . 

The relative must be made real. 

make me real, beloved, through your love, 

through my love, our love, we sing

I try to meditate, but I hear the cries of the hungry ghosts 

and the ones in the hell realms, while the others are off having fun, 

I stay and tend to them , knowing that it is their view 

that all the others are having fun, and still I make a prayer 

for my happiness and theirs, and the causes of happiness

Gospel choir of the Earth elements of my body, we sing  

It is easy to love the sweet, deep purple grapes on the vine 

with translucent skin shimmering in the afternoon sunlight, 

easy to sing them a love song, but what about 

the swollen, red and painful skin on the hand and the foot 

that mind blames for losing everything? 

when the grapes are sour, we need the love song more than ever. 

Karma ripens, it does not just disappear. 

Six kinds of faith that are really three, 

lucid faith, the faith of conviction, and inspired faith . 

Faith is a treasure, the supreme of all there is 

like a wish fulfilling jewel it fulfills all needs.