Soul Healing Love

TRIGGER WARNING: there is discussion of suicide, suicidal thoughts and other issues around the topic of suicide. Join Amanda as she talks with two amazing guests. She’s joined by two great minds behind For Students, an organization dedicated to equipping students with tools for lifelong emotional health and suicide prevention.  Whitney D’Allaird is a wife, mother first and also Executive Director of this amazing organization. And Ed Williams is a former teacher and student leader turned Programming Director with For Students. Whitney and Ed share about the vision behind For Students and Whitney shares her family’s story of loss of her beloved oldest son Tyler. She shares her pain, her grief and how ultimately this led her to start an organization in hopes that no parent would ever feel her pain again. Amanda leads a discussion around coming myths of suicide—things like “no one will miss me, I’m a burden, and suicidal ideas are just a means to get attention”—to help people further understand the complexity behind a person’s desire to take their own life. Whitney and Ed offer insights into how they’ve had firsthand experience with students to help More people understand how to face suicidal thoughts in themselves and loved ones in hopes that their pain can be met and transformed. To learn more about Whitney and Ed’s mission please visit www.ForStudents.org or Instagram @forstudentsclt If you yourself are thinking of taking your own life, please right now call a trusted friend, call 988, AND text TALK to 741741. Yes, please do all 3!! Because we promise whatever thoughts your suicidal self are telling you are not true. You are a life worth saving and you deserve to hear that from at least 3 sources! And… keep fighting! You are not alone.

We all have conscious and unconscious stories, reels, automatic reactions that are pasty of a bigger story we tell ourself. Brene brown describes a cu flight she had with her husband and from that fight forward they always say “the story I’m telling myself right now is…” So what stories are you telling yourself? That are actually part of a current neural network that you can change. Dr. Bev recounts some of the soul wound stories she heard spoken over her and how she began to rewrite her brain. And Dr. Tom shares wisdom he read of years ago that said “we view life through the presence or absence of negative” so what is your filter? What are you looking for? Once you realize the stories, how can you change these stories? First, bring awareness to your current story and then realize that you can now make new choices to do things differently. As these stories get activated, they are also clues to your soul wounds. Retelling and recontexting a new story helps you live a more fulfilled life free of past wounding.

Drs. Tom and Bev discuss principles behind Neuroplasticity, which is the ability to change and reshape your brain.

Brain formation that  was once thought to be set and unchangeable in childhood - which kept Amanda from any heavy metal head banging - we now know is possible to change well into our lives.

Neurogenesis, building new brain connections, is something that happens all the time. They also discuss neuroscience work from Dr. Caroline Leaf and Dr. Joe Dispenza that helps us to understand that our thoughts are powerful. Our thoughts dictate our emotions, and both thoughts and emotions dictate what body chemicals, good or bad, are released that then shape our chemistry AND our DNA expression.

By changing our thoughts we can change our brain’s neural wiring along with our bodies gene expression and biochemical state.

Listen for more details on how to rewire your thoughts, emotions, brain and body today!

Current data trends indicate we as a culture are getting diagnosed more and more with mental health struggles. Be it Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Addiction, or anything else—so many more people are struggling today.

 In this episode we share what it’s like sitting in the therapist’s chair helping clients face today’s dilemmas.

Dr. Tom shares a fascinating question from a client, “What makes you happy?” that he, Amanda, and Dr. Bev discuss.

Dr. Bev addresses how the stigma around mental health has seemed to lessen, as she has seen people previously resistant to therapy come in recently.

Whatever your current mental health, listen in as we offer trends, tips, and awareness to help you move toward a more resilient life.

Often, the focus in counseling and psychology is on the PROBLEM... but what are the hallmarks of a Healthy Life?

Join in on the conversation as Drs. Tom and Bev discuss a list of basic needs that they have created over years of talking to people who have found these commonly missing in wounded living.

This list also addresses Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: when the base needs of Safety and Security are not first addressed, the others cannot follow.

Further, if you did not have these needs met in childhood, it is difficult to offer them to yourself and others, or to even feel worthy of offering these things to yourself.

As you listen to these basic needs defined, begin to reflect on how well you offer these first to yourself, and then to others.

Are you kind and compassionate toward yourself or do you have a harsh inner critic?

We can develop a harsh inner critic from people on our lives-parents, pastors, teachers-who expected perfection while forgetting a core principle Jesus taught was how to love well.

This episode talks about confronting your harsh inner critic with grace and forgiveness. Amanda is joined by Drs. Tom and Bev as they discuss tips to offer yourself forgiveness and reflect on Jesus’ story of that Good Samaritan as a healthy example of self-love received from God and then given to others.

They also discuss self-compassion principles from Dr. Kristin Neff that help to build a healthy sense of love and compassion toward one’s self.

A wiseman once said, “Those who do not deal with their past are destined to repeat it.”

There is neurobiological proof that this can happen. In the Soul Healing Love Model we say, “If you don’t deal with your past, it will come back to bite you!”

People often avoid going back and looking at past hurts honestly because they do not want to live in that painful place again. So, they avoid, blame others, get anxious or depressed.

This podcast encourages you to look at the past with the help of the Holy Spirit so you can see themes, patterns or blueprints that have served us in the past but are actually damaging us in our current relationships.

You will: 1. Recognize and heal past hurts and trauma through experiencing the Soul Healing Love of Christ along with sound tools and techniques 2. Banish Basic Fears 3. Enhance Self-Esteem 4. Bring about understanding of self and others. 5. Retrain the mind to focus on the positive instead of the negative and re-tell your story from God’s perspective. 6. Reduce reactivity and develop intentionality 7. Foster forgiveness, let go of the baggage from the past that holds you back.

Join Amanda and Drs. Bev and Tom to explore what trauma is and does in our lives.

Trauma is the lasting emotional response that often results from living through distressing events. There is Simple Trauma like a terrible car accident, which we call a little T, or Complex Trauma which can be emotional, physical or sexual abuse that happens over time which we call the big T.

Trauma affects the brain and alters functioning often leaving victims with PTSD, depression, aggravated fear response, anxiety and more.

When we experience trauma our autonomic nervous system responds in Flight, Fight, Freeze or Appease responses. These responses can be triggered in our present life and relationships and we can give a current situation more emotion that it deserves which is called reactivity.

When triggered trauma responses hijack our brains and bodies and shutting off our new brain ability to reason, self-soothe, and gain emotional control of the situation.

The Soul Healing Love Model is a trauma-based model that helps you identify past trauma, and learn tools and techniques to heal the trauma response and rewire the brain.

You can be “Transformed by the renewing of our Minds” like the Scripture says. Listen and learn how.

There are certain therapies that are considered more specific “parts therapies” like Internal Family System developed by Richard Schwartz, but truly parts are as old as Freud’s id, ego and superego.

Within Soul Healing Love our parts are those that hold our Soul Wounds and then live out certain adaptations. The hard thing is, often these adaptations that served a great purpose—these parts that helped us at younger ages—are not running our lives effectively now.

This is where learning about these parts can help us bring self awareness and healing to live as an integrated adult in you current life.

Listen as Drs. Tom and Bev discuss parts and soul healing love with Amanda. You’ll learn things like: 1. How to identify parts using tools from Soul Healing Love 2. Why learning about these parts brings self-awareness to soul wounds and traumas from your past allows freedom in today’s life 3. Why bringing compassion and grace to each part of you to build full integration

Amanda and Drs. Bev and Tom explore How You Know When You Are Getting Emotionally Healthy. The Examine characteristics of healthy people and cover: 1.Self-Awareness, knowing your personality characheristics as well as the wounds of your past that may affect your behavior 2. Getting rid of Jealousy, and not comparing or competing with others 3. Finding forgiveness of yourself and others 4. Acceptance rather than judging yourself or others for mistakes 5. How to listen to God by walking in partnership with the Holy Spirit in your life. This takes looking at your past soul wounds and allowing the Lord to bring healing as well as mindfully and consciously walking in a healing direction with your thoughts, attitudes and behaviors. They quote from Charles Swindol who says, “Healthy people know who they are, they like who they are and are who they are.”