There Are No Bad Parts — Finding Your Way Back to Yourself.

What if the parts of yourself you struggle with most aren't actually the problem—but parts of you that learned how to survive?

Join us as Dana & Megan turn the mic towards their longtime friend & co-host, Islena Faircrest, to celebrate the release of her new Parts Work Guidebook, co-authored with 4 fellow IFS practitioners. They explore what Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Parts Work can teach us about our personalities, protective patterns, shame, trauma, relationships, and coming home to ourselves with greater compassion.

Islena shares how the five-author Guidebook grew from years of community practice, why it's accessible to complete beginners, and how its 23 guided exercises help us become curious about our thoughts, emotions, body sensations, impulses, and recurring patterns.

Hear about a free community practice group supporting the book, the importance of going slowly rather than trying to “fix” ourselves, and Islena's unexpected journey from yoga teacher and coach into IFS.

We explore shame, why there are no bad parts, how protective patterns can soften when we understand their origins, and how IFS helped Islena make peace with some of the “prickly parts” emerging through midlife & menopause.

Sometimes the very things we thought were “in the way” may actually be the way home. Xo

TIMELINE:

00:00–02:00 — From high school friends to published authors
Dana and Megan introduce Islena and celebrate this full-circle moment with their longtime friend.

02:00–04:00 — How five practitioners created one guidebook
The four-and-a-half-year collaborative process and how the book grew from a community practice group.

04:00–06:00 — You don't need to know IFS to begin
Who the Guidebook is for and how Parts Work can complement professional therapy.

06:00–08:00 — What exactly is IFS?
A simple introduction to the idea that our psyche naturally contains many different “parts.”

08:00–10:00 — There are no bad parts
Why IFS doesn't pathologize reactive or uncomfortable parts, and how protective behaviours develop.

10:00–12:00 — Shame, survival and the “fracturing” of ourselves
How overwhelming experiences can shape our beliefs, protective strategies, and sense of self.

12:00–14:00 — How shame gets under the skin
Exploring the “I'm bad and wrong” story and the role of compassion in healing.

14:00–16:00 — Attachment, childhood and our earliest relationships
How early relationships & attachment experiences can shape our internal worlds.

16:00–18:00 — Living in an overstimulating world
Why modern stress & overstimulation continue to challenge our nervous systems.

18:00–20:00 — How Islena found IFS almost by accident
Her journey from yoga teaching and coaching into Internal Family Systems.

20:00–22:00 — Surrender, connection and life's unexpected gifts
A personal reflection on connection, leaving home young, and reconnecting decades later.

22:00–24:00 — 23 exercises to get curious about yourself
What readers actually do in the Parts Work Guidebook and how the exercises uncover patterns.

24:00–26:00 — Your own pocket coach, mentor and guide
Why slowing down, journaling, and reflection can build an ongoing relationship with yourself.

26:00–28:00 — You don't have to do the work alone
Inside the free Parts Work Practice community & guided sessions.

28:00–30:00 — Why this isn't a book to read in one sitting
The value of titration, practice, and taking one small step at a time.

30:00–32:00 — The “prickly parts” of menopause and midlife
Boundaries, people-pleasing, maturity, and the parts that emerge when we're no longer abandoning our own needs.

32:00–33:30 — Softening the parts we once judged
Understanding the “why” behind our protective patterns can create compassion & help us shed light on the parts we once tried to hide.

Learn more about Islena and her work at www.onboardwellness.com and find the Parts Work Guidebook and free Parts Work Practice community at www.partsworkpractice.com.

We are fired up to be in conversation this week with Dr. Tom Bourdon, organizational leadership coach and author of the newly released book It Lit A Fire! Tom's book is being released at the perfect time when many of us are looking for inspiration to take action and make the world a better place. With decades of work in social impact, DEI, and leadership development, Tom shares his Firestarter Model with us which outlines the three forces of good that are required to make positive change: Pull, Passion, and Courage. He also shares highlights with us from some of the very inspiring real-life stories of change makers/contributors in the book. If you want to be inspired, ignite your inner fire and make positive change in the world, tune in to our conversation with Tom. His insights are powerful and his book is a great guide.

It Lit A Fire is available now wherever you buy books online!

To learn more about Tom and his work, visit https://thenextlevelimpact.com

To connect with Tom, you'll find him on IG @drtombourdon

We are living in very challenging times that call on us to show up with courage and love. In this episode, we are talking about some of the poor leadership that we are seeing around the world along with the tactical manipulation of media and women. If you feel exhausted, triggered, and disgusted by the ongoing methods of mass confusion (and destruction), you are not alone! We’re feeling it too and taking this opportunity to connect and share some self-care practices to help keep you safe, strong and grounded during these times. If you have self-care practices to share, we'd love to hear from you. Join us in the spirit of strength, love, community and conversation. Meet us in the Soul Net!

References in this episode:

The Map of Consciousness Explained by David R. Hawkins

Offerings include:

Try a 5-minute H Drill technique (H-Pattern Eye Movement Test) recommended by Dayna

Try a 5-minute breathing exercise offered by Islena

Try a 5-minute sensory writing exercise offered by Megan: pick a sense to explore. Write one sentence describing what you see, hear, smell, taste, or touch.

🎧 Episode Timeline:

00:00 – 03:30

Naming the Collective Weight

Returning after a pause, the hosts acknowledge the emotional toll of recent global events and open a space for collective reflection, care, and reconnection.

03:30 – 07:00Information Overload, AI, and the Erosion of TrustA conversation on misinformation, AI-generated content, and how confusion is shaping our sense of reality and safety in the world.

07:00 – 10:30Finding Ground in ChaosThe importance of surrounding yourself with people and communities that help regulate your nervous system and bring you back to steadiness.

10:30 – 14:00Women, Triggers, and Collective MemoryExploring how current events activate deep wounds—especially for women—and the historical normalization of harm now being seen more clearly.

14:00 – 17:30Stepping Back from the NoisePractical self-care: reducing media intake, recognizing doom-scrolling, and creating internal safety to stay grounded and present.

17:30 – 21:00Regulation Through Nature, Touch, and JoyFrom “less gym, more joy” to sensory grounding—how reconnecting with nature, the body, and simple pleasures restores vitality.

21:00 – 24:30Feeling It All Without Numbing OutWhy allowing ourselves to feel collective grief and discomfort is part of growth—and how to move through it without overwhelm.

24:30 – 28:00Community, Belonging, and Healing Hyper-IndependenceThe power of finding your “tribe” (human or otherwise) and recognizing hyper-independence as a trauma response we can evolve beyond.

28:00 – 31:30Raising Your State: Books, Music, and Micro-PracticesAccessible ways to shift your internal state through conscious inputs—what you read, listen to, and surround yourself with.

31:30 – 34:30Simple Nervous System Tools (Sensory + Neural)Practical exercises—from sensory awareness to neural drills—that build safety in the body and brain in just minutes.

34:30 – 36:00Closing Breath + Returning Home to YourselfA guided breath practice to settle the nervous system and a gentle reminder: you’re not alone—come back to your body, again and again.

In a world that feels increasingly chaotic and uncertain, we explore how to stay grounded, connected, and emotionally regulated amidst information overload, collective anxiety, and shifting global dynamics. With simple, embodied practices, this episode offers a steadying reminder that coming back to yourself—and to each other—is both your anchor and your power. Xo

Join Dayna, Megan, and Islena in what it really means to “gather without expectations.”

Inspired by the Ram Dass quote, “If you think you’re enlightened, spend a week with your family,” we bring light to emotional literacy, generational conditioning, and how family gatherings—especially during the holidays—can awaken our oldest, most defaulted patterns. We bring warmth & humor towards how chosen family, boundaries, and self-awareness help us stay grounded and compassionate amid old dynamics.

🕰️ Timeline

00:00 – 03:30 | Opening reflections on Ram Dass quote03:30 – 06:00 | Emotional literacy in families of origin—generational differences and survival values.06:00 – 09:00 | Chosen family vs. family of origin—finding safety and emotional intelligence in friendships.09:00 – 14:00 | Dayna’s story: her father’s visit triggers old patterns; witnessing her younger self and re-parenting through awareness.14:00 – 17:00 | Healing through ritual—how writing, yoga, and Vedic chanting restore self-connection.17:00 – 20:30 | Inner child work, “bids for connection,” and how unmet needs resurface during gatherings.20:30 – 23:30 | Boundaries, chosen family, and learning to stay regulated around triggering relatives.23:30 – 26:30 | Mirroring in relationships—how our parents reflect our unhealed parts and opportunities to reformulate connection.26:30 – 29:30 | Recognizing triggers as invitations to awareness; managing expectations with compassion.29:30 – 33:00 | Closing insights—releasing expectations, witnessing loved ones with grace, and blessings for presence during the holidays.

Memorable Quotes: "May your holidays be blessed with no expectations!"

In this episode of Soul Net Sessions, we share some of the ways we celebrated this year's Autumn Equinox with rituals welcoming change, honouring the light within the dark, and bringing warmth into our homes and bodies. We get witchy as we explore life and death, new moons, tarot cards, and the fire within!

✨ Cold plunges contrast therapy • Ayurveda • Feminine energy • Ritual & rebirth ✨

As the wheel turns to Fall, seasonal rituals reconnect us to nature, body, and spirit. From cold plunges and candles to sacred boredom, cozy up with us and slow down to find the magic in the mundane.

Timestamps:

00:00 – 02:00Soul Net Sessions at Henry’s Studio in Vancouver, BC. during Autumn Equinox and the meaning of seasonal transitions.

02:00 – 04:00Islena shares her ritual of ocean plunges in Point Roberts as summer wanes. Body memory, climate, and menopause in changing seasons.

04:00 – 06:00How cold plunges affect midlife women, Ayurvedic perspectives on vata and pitta doshas, and finding your personal window of tolerance in ritual.

06:00 – 08:00Ritual as play and honoring your body’s edge. Using sunrise swims and moments of stillness to reconnect with life force energy.

08:00 – 10:00Autumn rituals for warmth and grounding: lighting candles, fire, sun symbolism, and the power of gentle contrast therapy for the nervous system.

10:00 – 12:00Dayna shares her inward Equinox rituals: journaling, meditation, rest, and “sacred boredom.” How spirituality evolves from external gatherings to inner quiet.

12:00 – 14:00When commercialized wellness doesn’t align — trusting your felt sense. Discovering the magic in the mundane and creating ritual through simple acts.

14:00 – 16:00Everyday rituals: fire-lighting, washing dishes, greeting the sun, and connecting to primal elements of Earth, warmth, and ancestry.

16:00 – 18:00What feels truly aligned in ritual? Discerning authenticity, resonance, and what actually regulates the body versus what overstimulates.

18:00 – 20:00Reflections on connection — from youthful ecstatic experiences, to sacred choices like Islena purchasing her burial plot. Joy, death, and belonging to place.

20:00 – 22:00Death rituals and personal agency: choosing how to leave, death doulas, and assisted dying as acts of consciousness and ceremony.

22:00 – 24:00Letting go as seasonal practice. Humor and heart in shadow work — Islena's “Dr. Death” moments and embracing life through awareness of mortality.

24:00 – 26:00Megan shares her Autumn ritual: tarot with the Empress card, embodying feminine energy, and rebalancing emotional boundaries.

26:00 – 28:00Honoring self, releasing energy drains, and choosing relationships and environments that nurture intuition and soul connection.

28:00 – 30:00Ritual as personal and evolving. Preview of next episode on gratitude and community.

In our newest Soul Net Session, we delve into making time for joy amid life’s challenges. We discuss how continuous growth and learning can reshape our narratives at any age. Megan shares uplifting stories of joy found in nature and a rainy-day swim, while Dayna recounts returning to a sport she loves after a hiatus, detailing the joy and pain that followed. The sisters recognize the recurring themes of joy and pain, light and dark, as they navigate new experiences and revisit the old.

Episode Timeline:

00:00 – Welcome, Soul Net community intro
03:30 – Podcast growth, learning new skills, new beginnings
06:00 – Early autumn reflection, fresh starts, world events
09:00 – Coping with uncertainty, finding levity, joy snacks
12:00 – Nature nourishment, sit spot club experiences
15:00 – Adventures: swimming in rain, embracing mystery
18:00 – Rediscovering travel, feminine inspiration
21:00 – Quebec City drag brunch, gender reflections
24:00 – Beach volleyball, athlete archetype, aging & change
27:30 – Sport adaptations: resilience and menopause
30:00 – Honoring personal growth, closing life loops
33:00 – Memoir writing, integrating trauma and creativity, invitation for next episode, shout-out to cohost Islena
36:00 – Joy and pain coexistence, wisdom for balance
39:00 – Roots, autumn equinox preview, closing thoughts

Join us as we explore how to find joy amidst global uncertainty and personal growth.

Broadcasting from Henry’s studio, we celebrate new beginnings, the value of community, and the power of “joy snacks”—small, nourishing moments—from nature walks to adventures in beach volleyball and drag brunches.

We reflect on honoring the athlete archetype, embracing change in midlife, and integrating pain with creativity and purpose. With resilience, balance, and honoring the inner child, we invite you to seek levity and meaning—especially as autumn approaches and the world feels heavy.

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Available wherever you stream podcasts, or watch on YouTube to see our smiles.

If you enjoy the episode, don’t forget to follow, like, and share.

Beyond Gender, Into Balance:

We all carry both divine feminine and masculine energy—but how do we actually recognize them, heal the wounded parts, and bring them into harmony?

In this special video episode, Megan, Dayna, and Islena share stories, cultural insights, and practical tools to help you move between nurture and structure, receptivity and action, softness and strength. You’ll learn how these energies influence relationships, parenting, work, and self-care—and how to balance them in yourself and others.

Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction & welcome to Soul Net Sessions
02:26 – What are divine feminine and masculine energies? (Ayurvedic view: Ida & Pingala, earth/water vs air/fire)
04:32 – The dance between structure (masculine) and nurture (feminine) in work and parenting
07:27 – Healing the wounded feminine: ancestral patterns, conditioning, and self-definition
09:35 – Raising sons to embrace both energies with ease
10:43 – Healthy masculine modeling vs. father/mother wounds
13:05 – Relationships that allow us to rest in one energy while honoring the other
15:11 – Practicing underdeveloped energies and finding supportive spaces
16:00 – Navigating emotional expression in professional and personal settings
17:28 – Dysregulation patterns: sadness vs. anger, fire vs. water
19:30 – Co-regulation in relationships and the role of balance in ease
20:29 – Understanding your energy body as a remedy for unease
21:17 – Simple practices to invite balance (opposites in Ayurveda)
22:38 – How complementary energies work in partnerships
24:59 – Why some men resist calling their nurturing side “feminine” and the role of conditioning
25:34 – Tips for nurturing your feminine and masculine sides
27:14 – Closing reflections: dancing between energies in daily life

Final Musings:

From Ayurvedic perspectives to midlife awakenings, from wounded feminine healing to embracing healthy masculinity,  join us as we explore the dance between the divine feminine and masculine energies that live within us all—beyond gender, beyond stereotypes, and deeply rooted in our energetic bodies. Together, we unpack personal stories, ancestral influences, cultural conditioning, and practical ways to nurture balance.

The Soul Net sisters share on ways we experience grief and loss in our lifetime. We explore the desire to return to the safety of the womb during times of deep grief, somatic messages in the body, running from our feelings, learning to celebrate endings and so much more.

Join us for a heart centered episode as we find our way through hard places and open to laughter and lots of love.

Show Notes:

How we carry grief, how we learn to name it, and how midlife opens doors to healing and self-compassion.

0:00 – 2:20:Welcome & setting the theme: grief as a shared but rarely named experience. The hosts reflect on childhood grief and the absence of language or tools to process loss.

2:21 – 3:52:Unresolved childhood grief: the loss of a father, unacknowledged until years later. How avoidance and shame can bury early loss.

3:53 – 5:20:Freezing and emotional shutdown as grief responses. Stories of grandparent loss, and how grief later surfaces in adult relationships.

5:21 – 7:27:Cultural patterns around “moving on.” The survival strategy of emotional detachment. How midlife reveals old, unprocessed emotions.

7:28 – 9:37:Grief in menopause: losing fertility, identity shifts, and reckoning with aging. The practice of death meditation as a grounding tool.

9:38 – 11:09:The “curse” of living in times of change. Exploring grief as a lifelong return to the womb’s lost safety. Body language and curling inward as unconscious grief signals.

11:10 – 13:13:The human drive to recreate certainty and be “liked.” Grief as a foundational rupture we spend life trying to repair through meaning-making and achievement.

13:14 – 15:09:Embodied grief during sleep: how the body holds emotion. Learning to unfurl from protective postures and meet grief with curiosity and compassion.

15:10 – 16:25:Hair loss and feminine identity: the gift of confronting appearance-based attachments. Self-love as a product of acceptance, not achievement.

16:26 – 17:40:Reframing grief as a series of endings we rarely honor. The power of grief rituals, death meditations, and somatic practices for integration.

17:41 – 19:39:Grief and gratitude as healing partners. How honoring past chapters and parts of ourselves softens the emotional edge of loss.

19:40 – 21:18:Finding spiritual connection with lost loved ones. The comforting ritual of “keeping the love alive” through nature, memory, and presence.

21:19 – 22:00:Closing words: grief, anger, fear—all welcome. Remembering the healing balm of love and the courage to feel.

"When I reflect on grief, I feel like it's a midlife emotion as we go through menopause; we are no longer the vessel that creates life, we're going to create other things. So there is a loss of that whole era and chapter of our lives as well." ~Dayna Bango

Drawing upon wisdom from spiritual traditions, ancestral reflections, and personal stories, Islena shares with Dayna and Megan how fear, scarcity, and the desire for control, shapes our relationships and communities from the love of power, versus the power of love.

We explore the critical importance of vulnerability, repair, and building bridges, both within ourselves and with others, in the power of love.

You are invited to consider what it means to be a new kind of warrior: one who leads with compassion, holds space for diversity, and embodies the role of a bridge-builder. Drawing inspiration from nature, parenting, and ancient texts, we offer practical insights for fostering connection and healing in divided times.

Time-Stamped Show Notes:

0:00 - Opening: The concept of the warrior and building bridges instead of attacking across divides.

0:25 - Introduction: A new kind of warrior wisdom around the power of love versus the love of power.

2:22 - Reflection: The importance of holding the vibration of love within communities.

3:12 - Ancestral Scarcity: Discussion on how fear of loss and scarcity is inherited and shapes our drive for power and control.

5:04 - Relationships: How fear of loss leads to control and division, both personally and collectively.

6:52 - Repairing Relationships: The necessity of repair and vulnerability in maintaining love.

8:14 - Power of Love vs. Love of Power: Exploring how love enables repair and connection, while power seeks control.

10:20 - Modern Warrior: The story of a woman in the trades building bridges, not walls, and the significance of authentic leadership.

13:00 - Nature’s Bridges: Drawing inspiration from nature to build bridges rather than walls in interpersonal relationships.

16:03 - Spiritual Warrior: Merging spiritual depth (Pisces) with action (Aries); lessons from the Bhagavad Gita on fulfilling duty without becoming the conflict.

19:34 - Inner and Outer Conflict: Personal growth as a model for collective healing; embracing vulnerability and difficult conversations.

22:41 - New Warrior Archetype: The bridge builder and lighthouse parent...leaders who hold space for diverse experiences.

25:28 - All My Relations: Honoring ancestors and future generations through connection and attunement.

28:14 - Full Circle: The power of maintaining bridges of peace and mutual respect to prevent division and conflict.

29:27 - Closing: Encouragement for listeners to become bridge builders and a preview of the next episode on healing through grief and loss.

Notable Quotes:

“Maybe the lighthouse warrior IS the power of love. Wow, we came full circle.” ~ Islena

“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” ~ Anne Lamott

“Here in another universe, I meet my father when he is a child. … He tells me he isn’t allowed to cry, but sometimes the world hurts him, and he doesn’t know what to do with all of that pain. So I give him the shoulder he needs to cry on, and he does. … I wish someone could have done that for him, been a kind, safe place for the child he used to be. Would it have made a difference?” ~ Nikita Gill

Resources:

Bhagavad Gita for Beginners (Radha Krishna Temple) – An accessible introduction to the Bhagavad Gita’s teachings.

Anne Lamott – author, novelist.

Nikita Gill’s Poetry and Books – poet, author of poem about father and the importance of safe spaces for emotions.

To wrap our special menopause series, Megan shares her thoughts about the soul's journey during this time and specifically the tension that comes when women experience powerful mind/body/spirit transformations. She talks with Islena and Dayna about the soul’s cry for freedom and its need for solitude to do the work of emotional healing and re-alignment of values. When we consider that menopause is a time for women to journey inward, reclaim authenticity and personal power, we open our minds and our wings to new and higher possibilities.

Resources mentioned in this episode include:

Elizabeth Gilbert's practice of writing Love Letters.

Wise Power: Discover the Liberating Power of Menopause Book by Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer

The Map of Consciousness Explained by David R. Hawkins

Timeline Show Notes:

0:00 – 3:30

- Introduction to the episode and theme: the “soul cry,” anger, and transformation during perimenopause.
- Framing menopause as a “second spring” or second adolescence, a time for untethering from conditioning and attachments.
- Emphasis on seeking self-reliance and authentic self-worth.

3:30 – 7:00

- Unlearning conditioning from childhood, relationships, and career.
- Midlife as a period when unconscious patterns surface.
- Confronting past beliefs and finding safe spaces for vulnerability.
- Discussion of physical and emotional changes: hormonal fluctuations, health challenges, and anxiety.7:00 – 10:30- The importance of accepting change and softening resistance.
- Putting oneself first and learning self-care, even amidst family and work responsibilities.
- Personal reflections on prioritizing self-needs and learning to be alone.

10:30 – 14:00

- Introduction of the “angry daughter” archetype: the hyper-independent woman burdened by people-pleasing.
- Reading and discussion of a quote describing the angry daughter’s experience.
- Validating anger as a healthy and transformative energy in perimenopause.
- The necessity of expressing anger to avoid illness and to catalyze liberation.

14:00 – 17:30

- How to move and transform anger: writing, movement, and creative practices.
- Reference to David Hawkins’ map of consciousness: anger as an action-oriented emotion that can spark change.
- Encouragement to allow full expression of emotions, especially anger towards parental figures, without blame.

17:30 – 21:00

- The importance of being with your actual experience and using anger as a flash of energy for growth.
- Learning to be comfortable in aloneness and stillness, especially during perimenopause.
- Sharing personal practices: meditation, movement, and joining online communities for support.
- The role of community in validating experiences and soothing the nervous system.

21:00 – 25:00

- The value of soul friends and finding community aligned with new values.
- The dance between ego and soul during this life stage.
- The importance of safe containers for vulnerability and expressing one’s truth.
- Suggestions for practices: self-love letters (Elizabeth Gilbert), and recommended reading (Wise Power by Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer).

25:00 – End

- Personal reflections on writing and reading as spiritual practices.

Notable Quotes

“The soul cry, the anger, the angry daughter— you’re gonna feel it in perimenopause. Move that. That’s what’s going to help you. That’s what this time in the cocoon is for; to transform that energy into something beautiful.”

“Menopause is a second spring…an invitation to honor your independence, to honor your journey.”

“Healthy anger is like a flash of energy…use it to write, to move, to transform. It’s not victimhood—it’s liberation.”

Disclaimer
The information shared in this episode is not medical advice. Please consult your healthcare provider for guidance specific to your needs.

Thank you for listening to Soul Net! Join us next time as we explore “The Power of Love vs. The Love of Power.”