On this episode Paul is joined by Avery Thatcher to talk about Avery’s most important message that she wants to impart to the world.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- It’s about cultivating curiosity. No matter what life throws at you, if you’re able to distance yourself from the emotions and the feelings and come back to a place of curiosity, then you don’t feel stuck and you can explore options of how you can move forward. It’s truly the essence of resilience.
- We’re exposed to so many bits of information every second and our body has to interpret that very quickly, so we rely on habits and pre-programmed beliefs and who we think we are in order to move through life without being completely overwhelmed by all of that. That’s where we need to understand our general patterns to know if it’s something we want to continue or if it’s something we need to explore and maybe re-programme.
- I’ve made a lot of changes recently. Growing up as a sensitive person, I was frequently told that my emotions and my depths of emotion was wrong, challenged other people and was unsafe to express, so I rejected a lot of who I was growing up to the point where I was so emotionally numb that I tolerated a lot of behaviour that I shouldn’t have. The idea of affirmations, kissing the mirror or giving yourself a high five in the morning to start the day really doesn’t resonate with me because my body and mind would hear that thought and say “nope!” I recommend to people like me trying “what if-irmations”: instead of saying I am enough, I am beautiful, say what if I am enough, what if I have a beautiful day. That hijacks the part of your brain that would dismiss it and allows you to explore the idea.
- I was born as Heather. Overnight I developed a chronic illness and physical disability that changed so much of what and who I saw myself and how I saw myself in this body. For 18 months I came to terms with that and thought about how I would heal and what I could no longer do. Eventually I came to the decision that I needed a fresh start to move forward, so I changed my first name and became Avery. The moment I decided to do that all of the PTSD dreams stopped, a lot of the anxiety went away and I finally felt at home in my body again after feeling it didn’t belong to me for a year and a half.
BEST MOMENTS
‘Our curiosity is trained out of us, we learn how to act a certain way and assign meaning to our thoughts. We need to reconnect to the true self because we are not our thoughts, we are the thinker of our thoughts.’
‘I start off every morning by dancing like a free woman to whichever song comes up on my playlist, it starts the day in a really playful space and I enjoy it.’
‘Think outside the social norms, those may not be serving you any more.’
‘When we start to let go of the idea of self it becomes a lot easier to trust because, if there’s nothing left to protect, what are you afraid of?’
VALUABLE RESOURCES
- Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272
- Speaking From Our Hearts Books: Volumes 1-3 (Available on Amazon)
- World Game-Changers Group
ABOUT THE GUEST
Avery Thatcher says: The truth is I’ve never really felt like Heather, but then I know it’s normal to not always like your name.
Over the course of my life, I’ve walked through a lot of struggle and trauma which changed me over time. This gradual change is something that I think we can all relate to and is just a part of the human experience.
However, on December 25, 2018 I experienced a massive change in my life that happened literally overnight. I was working 12 hour shift work in a pediatric ICU and I was coming off the night shift and I remember the Charge Nurse coming up to me and saying “Heather, you really don’t look good. I’m going to mark you down as sick tonight. Feel better!”
I went home and slept for 20 hours straight.
And I did that the next day.
And the day after that.
After nearly a year of painful medical procedures, surgery to remove a thyroid mass and half my thyroid, and multiple specialists investigations and tests, it was determined that I was now the proud owner of a chronic illness and permanent disability known as Myalgic Encephalomylitis. (I call this part of me Emmy – get it? M.E. Emmy? I thought I was clever)
I worked hard for nearly three years to get back to some form of normal, and in September 2021 I realised that was never going to happen.
I was no longer Heather.
I was no longer a Registered Nurse capable of working in an ICU.
I was no longer able to be as active as I was used to being.
I was no longer the weight I was used to being.
I was no longer the person I was used to being.
I realised I was no longer at home in my body.
I wasn’t connected to my previous identity at all and it was causing some strong PTSD dreams, intrusive thoughts and anxiety.
So after talking about it with my husband and therapist, I decided to change my name and spend days looking on baby name blogs until I found the name Avery.
It was strange at first to start referring to myself as Avery, when I had been Heather for 37 years – but now that I’ve had time for it to settle in – my goodness it’s a beautiful thing to feel at home in my body again!
To feel connected to who I am.
To start fresh, learn new habits and strategies rather than try and fit what I’m capable of now into the mould of what I used to be able to do.
So if you’ve made it this far, thank you for being a part of my journey. It’s lovely to have you in my corner.
Much love,
Avery
Website: https://becomingavery.com/
Social media tag: @becommingavery
ABOUT THE HOST
Paul has made a remarkable transformation from existing for many years in dark, desperate despair; to now living a really healthy, happy and fulfilling life.
From an early age, he was in the vice-like clutches of the demon drink and constantly embroiled within a dark cocktail of toxic beliefs, self-hate and destructive violence.
Along with his empathetic and dedicated team of world-class coaches and mentors, Paul’s purpose is deeply transformational:
Contributing Significantly To World Peace…
He is extremely passionate about helping others to find their purpose, have a voice and ultimately, make a real difference.
This has been built on a long and distinguished history of heart-centred coaching and mentoring. He has also been responsible for raising significant amounts of funds for many charities and good causes around the world; positively impacting and inspiring thousands of children – mainly from challenging backgrounds – within the UK & worldwide.
Through this World Game-Changers podcast and books, he has been involved in – including being a best-selling co-author – Paul also helps others to get their own inspirational messages and stories out into the world; as well as offering support to many charitable organisations, in their development & fund-raising.
CONTACT METHODS
Tel: +44 (0) 7958 042 155
E-mail: [email protected]
Web: https://www.Paul-Lowe.com
Web: https://www.worldgamechangers.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IamPaulLowe/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-d-lowe-7a78332a/
