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This week we continue our exploration of non-Indy Jones treasure hunters with The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, a sequel that gives us the opportunity to ponder some of life's great mysteries, including: How does an extra $50 million budget result in a worse-looking movie than its predecessor? Is frat boy behavior in 1946 just as insufferable as its modern equivalent? Are terracotta pots actually mummies? No, we don't actually have any answers to those questions; Beau has been too busy lamenting the desecration of some of his favorite characters while Brandon expounds on the rich anti-fascist allegory packed into the film's subtext, but... sorry, what were we talking about? We seem to have lost ourselves in those warm, blue Yeti eyes.

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Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

We may be done with Indiana Jones, but our treasure hunting continues all this month with a crew of imitators led by this week's protagonist, Nathan Drake! Unfortunately for us, this week is truly a worst version of a favorite thing, because we're experiencing his adventures by way of the 2022 Uncharted film. We do our best to withstand such rampant overuse of the bottle-playing scene, and to not be swayed by any of the film's "implicit messages," but if we're successful in those pursuits, it's probably just because we're too busy complaining about trees.

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Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

This week over on Patreon, we bring Indiana June to a close with one final adventure alongside our favorite archaeologist. And by one, we actually mean two. We each chose an episode of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles television series at random, so hop on and ride along on our Phantom Train of Doom as we discuss! We're making stops at all our favorite jazz clubs, and Beau even brought a game to keep us occupied during the ride. Oh, but just a heads-up: all passengers must spend a portion of the ride bound and gagged, because apparently that's what gives the journey a little "heat."

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Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!

Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

We're back with more Indiana Jones, and we've traded in our White Witch for a Great Circle! This episode we talk MachineGames' 2024 action-adventure game Indiana Jones and the Great Circle, and it just might be the sequel we've always wanted. No, we can't wield Caliburn, and no "forest folk" make an appearance, but the zeppelin DOES make a return, and is better (and more dangerous) than ever? (We forgot our special non-static slippers, so tread lightly). So grab your best disguise and that sledgehammer over there, make sure you haven't left any cogs behind, and... oh, also, can we borrow your lipstick? We're kinda worried we won't be able to explain this episode without it.

Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our Patreon

Want to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!

Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!

Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Star Wars month may be over, but we're still hanging out with George Lucas as we kick off Indiana Junes! All this month we're exploring alongside our favorite archaeologist and heading to wherever his latest adventure leads us. This week, that adventure is Martin Caidin's 1994 novel Indiana Jones and the White Witch, a riveting tale of magic, aviation, and... northern Florida civil war reenactors (yes, really). So slip on your non-static zeppelin slippers, throw on your boiled scabbard tunic (again, yes, really), and get ready to confront one of the most forgettable villains of all time (we've already forgotten all three of his names).

Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our Patreon

Want to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!

Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!

Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Star Wars month concludes with a roundup of some of our most memorable Star Wars gaming experiences! It's light side vs. dark side as we pit some of our favorite games of all time against a few experiences so miserable, they just might turn you into a Scorpion Vader. We've got bad kart racers and worse Game Boy games, but along the way we make time for sweet X-Wing action, Lego Grand Theft Auto and one very cool battle pod. Beau and Brandon also somehow manage to spend over ten minutes raving about Sega's Star Wars Arcade without realizing they are talking about two completely different games.

Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our Patreon

Want to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!

Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!

Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Welcome back to another episode of Phobiagoria, our recurring miniseries all about revisiting things that scared us as children! This time, Brandon discovers that the childhood trauma he associated with The Ewok Adventure's monstrous Gorax might've actually originated with the dead-eyed Ewoks themselves, and Beau? He's mostly just trying to stay conscious for all 97 minutes of this teddy bear fellowship. In this teaser we talk budget, kush (the Ewok kind), and even some conspiracy theories, but for the full episode you gotta head over to Patreon!

Want to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!

Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!

Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

May the Fourth be with you! (It's now May 8th). All this month we're hanging out in a galaxy far, far away, and kicking off our Star Wars celebration is a discussion of Episode VI- Return of the Jedi! We talk/dismantle negative fan reactions to the original trilogy's final installment while sharing our own negative reactions to much of the nonsense thrown into the remastered edition of the film. So, no, while we DON'T think that Jedi Rocks, we DO believe that Anakin's so vain, he probably thinks this podcast's about him.

Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our Patreon

Want to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!

Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!

Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Hey, remember that time we did two months of Final Fantasy stuff and planned to conclude with an episode on Rebirth? What young, naive podcasters we were back then... full of big, bold dreams and overambition. Now, on the other side of 100+ hours' worth of fighting, adventuring, laughing, crying, card collecting, Chocobo racing, and tediously throwing crates onto elevators, we're kind of amazed we ever thought we'd hit that deadline to begin with. Join us as we work through our many, MANY feelings around this epic gaming experience and deep dive through all those things and more! (spoilers abound)

Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our Patreon

Want to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!

Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!

Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Our Arthur season may be finished here on the main feed, but over on Patreon we're enjoying one final session at the round table as we turn it into a round tabletop! Join us as we leave the fate of Britain to the whims of the dice and roll to recast Arthur, Merlin, and other iconic characters from the legends with some thoroughly deranged replacements pulled from an even more deranged full list. Will King Ralph have his Lady Margot Tenenbaum stolen by Wolverine? Will Rita Repulsa rise from the lake to deliver Sex Machine's crotch gun to live-action Super Mario Bob Hoskins? All we know for sure is, there's no way you could intuit which Ditto we're talking about unless we end this sentence with "the Pokemon".

Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our Patreon

Want to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!

Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!

Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!