Our Patreon bonus episode for June is the culmination of a month spent discussing dads, and in celebration we've created a new game we like to call Magic: The Daddering! Each of us has a deck of fictional fathers we've sourced from across the media landscape, and we'll deploying them in a contest to decide whose chosen dads can best answer pivotal life questions and offer the best dadvice for tricky situations. To say anything else would take away the fun (and we had a pretty good time with this one), so just get in here already!

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June has been a month for dads, and we're closing it out with a look at one very dad hobby by way of a not-so-dad method: the video game adaptation of the bird-themed engine-building board game Wingspan! This episode has definitely earned its explicit content warning, and all it took was saying a few bird names aloud- but in the midst of ornithological obscenity we've got considered insights, earnest experiences, and an interview with an accomplished birder and photographer! So grab a handful of treats from the feeder, find a nice perch, and don't forget to send your prayers to Bird God. Which one is Bird God, you ask? Why, the one wearing the top hat, of course.

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Hi, how are ya! June is a month for dads, so we're pulling on our best pair of jorts, easing back in the recliner, and lazing away the afternoon with the 2005 film adaptation of Clive Cussler's novel Sahara! This is an episode about confusion: are those pounds weight, or UK currency? How did that Confederate ironclad make it across the Atlantic? Why are these enemy soldiers so bad at... everything? And why are our former Navy SEAL protagonists just as bad? Heck, we can't even remember how we pronounce the name of this dang movie! But at least we aren't confused about the lesson: it was... be careful around spear guns, right?

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May was a month for magic, mothers, and military, and that last one is coming to you by way of MachineGames' 2014 Wolfenstein: The New Order! So grab your moon shoes and make sure your hands are free, because we've got a weapon wheel full of Nazi elimination devices- and when we go Nazi hunting, we go dual wielding.

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May is a month for moms, so in celebration we watched Mamma Mia! (And if it weren't part of the title of the movie, we'd happily remove that exclamation mark). We've got penguin-walking Teletubby choreography with packs of hunks, dippy-ti-dippity-doo melodies, and... we'd probably have more to tease here, but it seems while we were groaning and trying to avert our eyes from the mess on screen, we both missed a few plot points (and there are only a few to go around). That said, we're inexplicably proud of the work we did here. To borrow a sentiment from Colin Firth: we just hope that when we die, we can go to heaven, and God says, "Hey, I loved your Mamma Mia episode."

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In celebration of Mother's Day, we've got a giant helping of... evil stepmother? Okay, so the baroness may not be the best representative of all the mothers out there, but hopefully she can still help us remember to appreciate ours. This version of the Cinderella tale may lack the more magical elements, but we think it more than makes up for it with the riveting tale of Countess Caribou Coffee's journey to avoid the French Meth Pirate Brigade, defeat Anjelica Huston's eyebrows, and give Prince Dougie Ray a big ol' smooch. So grab an apple or two, don't forget your slipper, and make sure you've got your cleave tucked in- because we adhere to the BYU code of conduct 'round these parts.

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It's May! A month for mothers, military, and... magic, because alliteration. First up: magic, by way of the 2005 film adaptation of our favorite warlock, Hellblazer's John Constantine! We gush about our love for Satan (there was probably a better way to phrase that), workshop better endings to the movie, and talk about kicking the smoking habit, which is particularly tough for magicians; they seem to have a habit of stashing cigarettes in their belly buttons. We have a really good time with this one, so get in here! It's, like, our fifth best favorite performance.

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As an addendum to our exploration of Alone in the Dark, we’re closing out April with our first episode of Phobiagoria, a new series all about revisiting shit that scared us as kids! First up: Are You Afraid of the Dark? gets reevaluated on a trip through two episodes that traumatized our dumb little kid brains: The Tale of the Fire Ghost and The Tale of the Renegade Virus! We’ve got body horror and fire safety, but mostly we’re just over here puzzling over what’s going on with that one kid trying to make a move on his neighborbrother’s sistergirlfriend.

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Our exploration of the Alone in the Dark series concludes with the 2024 reboot/reimagining of the original game! Is this the big comeback the franchise has been waiting for? Or is it better left... alone? Grab an ice pick and your best trilby, throw on a doom jazz playlist, and let's find out!

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Alone in the Dark is back, and we're celebrating its return with a month-long exploration of the franchise! First up: Uwe Boll's 2005 "adaptation" of the games, an experience that may or may not have caused us both a pretty severe bout of existential dread. The plot holes in this one are basically caverns, so grab your dad’s oversized ren faire jacket, don some protective paintball body armor, and let's get spelunking! Oh, and make sure you start headbanging a few seconds before the buttrock bulletstorm begins- because as we all know, acting is REacting (to things that are about to happen but haven’t yet).

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