-Guest, Dr. Janelle Martin, author of “Losing Her, Finding Us,” shares the parent perspective of a child’s addiction, alongside her daughter Reagan’s perspective. These dual perspectives (parent and child) in one narrative to validate parents’ feelings, reduce isolation, and offer hope and clarity.
-Janelle sought real-life accounts over “how-to” guides to understand others’ emotions, thoughts, and experiences during a child’s addiction.
-A robust parent program at The Pathway Program (Phoenix) connected her with other parents; weekly meetings were pivotal to feeling safe, seen, and not judged.
-She pursued her own recovery (sponsor and 12 steps) to understand her daughter’s world and to have informed conversations—an unexpectedly life-changing step.
-Like grief groups, parent recovery support equips, reframes expectations, reduces isolation, and fosters compassion.
-Many programs offer family weekends or encourage Al-Anon/Nar-Anon; walking into meetings is hard but profoundly helpful.
-Addiction is widely misjudged as “bad people making bad choices.” Families can look “normal.” Judgment and silence fuel isolation.
-Divorce, parental conflict, and manipulation by Reagan’s father harmed both children; Reagan felt unloved relative to her brother and experienced sexual abuse at age five (disclosed later).
-God’s guidance felt evident in finding The Pathway Program and a tough, effective counselor for Reagan; long-term approach (2–2.5 years) was crucial.
-Scripture study, worship, prayer, and teachings (notably Beth Moore) sustained her; she experienced divine provision (finances, people, peace) throughout.
-Not all counselors understand addiction—seek specialists; forcing counseling rarely works without willingness.
-Post-sobriety, mother and daughter had raw conversations, apologies, and interviews for the book, deepening empathy and respect.
-“Losing Her, Finding Us” is a raw, hopeful, page-turning narrative for parents, loved ones, and anyone seeking compassion, practical insights (boundaries, hard decisions), and resources.
-Janelle leads Parents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL) meetings in Houston on Wednesdays at 7 PM—free, ongoing, and transformative for parents.
-Addiction happens to everyday families. Seek support, cultivate compassion, and learn how to be a helpful ally. There are people ready to take your hand.
-Resources mentioned were Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, Celebrate Recovery, PAL, and long-term adolescent/young adult programs.
As my guest Janelle Martin shares, addiction affects normal people. I personally think there is no boundary that addiction won’t cross. Mainly because when we use a substance to alleviate pain, find escape, dull our feelings; plain and simple … it works.
Janelle learned this (addiction affects normal people) and countless other things associated with addiction when it came to light that her daughter Regan was using in order to cope with parental heartbreak, trauma and the overwhelm that it brought to her life.
Janelle’s journey through addiction from the parent’s perspective began with fear, grief, and the heavy stigma that so often hushes families. She grew up believing addiction happened to “other people,” until it shattered her own home. What followed was a crash course in letting go, setting hard boundaries, and grieving the loss of shared memories, milestones (specifically her senior year because it all came to a head at that time)—so she didn’t go to the prom, she did not graduate with her class and nor did she get to enjoy all the ways that celebration culminates after 12 years of schooling. Janette found herself missing the simple joy of “normal.”
A turning point came through community. While Reagan entered a long-term adolescent recovery program in Arizona, Janelle found that this recovery program also had a parent group that met weekly—there is such incredible value in f
