Sparked!

Stability is not only sexy, it's downright powerful.

Stability gets a bad rap. In our culture of more and better and “new and shiny” being steady and stable seems boring and unattractive.

I beg to differ. As a teacher and coach I witness transformation every day. When we learn to settle down and steady our body and mind we quickly become clearer, brighter, and yes, sexier.

In this episode I talk about three types of stability—physical, mental and emotional—and why being stable in not only sexy, it’s downright powerful. You'll learn to identify stability and you’ll learn how to return to your stable base when you’re feeling shaky and unsteady. Furthermore, explore ways to train your body and mind to be more stable more often.

Finally, learn to be more stable and steady in a world that is becoming more and more speedy and noisy and you’ll consistently feel more balanced and cheerful, more open and available. Ultimately as you stabilize and integrate your systems you’ll feel like you are powered up and “lit from within,” (and that’s pretty darn sexy.)

Mentions and More

Related episodes:

* #88: Can you Handle the Truth?

* #43: Force, Fix, Flee

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For more on my teachings read  On The Verge: Wake Up, Show Up and Shine 

Get my free app – On The Verge - App Store 

Photo by UpSplash

Waking up. Get underneath your mental clutter to see what's really going on.

Waking up. It’s the buzz in spiritual circles. What does it mean and why does it matter? Also, what are we waking up from? The answers to these questions are not always easy to hear. They may reveal deep truths about how we are living, what we are doing or not doing, saying or not saying. One thing is for sure, once we wake up it is hard to fall back asleep.

Waking up is a fancy way of describing what it feels like to get a dose of reality. Call it a whisper it your ear or a slap in the face. And when it happens there is place to hide

Waking up can be both a blessing and a curse (so be careful what you ask for.)

Wake Up From Your Dreams 

Waking up can feel refreshing like when you first open your eyes in the morning. Refreshed from a good night’s sleep you wake up from your dreams and have to reorient yourself for a moment. Dreams from the night before may appear foggy or unclear. As you focus your gaze around your bedroom you gain your bearings to where you are. Real life becomes clear. You see your bedroom and the sky outside the window. You are awake to reality. The dream is over.

Waking up during the day feel similar. Clarity emerges. Reality sets in. You see clearly where you are and what you are doing. You see clearly what is working and what is not.

Anyone can wake up. You don’t need to meditate or “be spiritual.” In fact, oftentimes the less you try to wake up the more you will.

Are you ready?

First warning: waking up from a dream about what is real and true will expose the good, the bad and the ugly.  It can be, and often is, an “oh shit” moment. In other words, it will rip you open and expose every nook and cranny in your heart and mind needing some airing out.

On the other hand, sometimes it’s easier to stay in the dark, under the covers and asleep.

Staying Asleep

Hiding from reality is easy. We do it all the time by remaining stuck in unconscious belief systems, unhealthy emotional habits and mental clutter. Staying asleep is not so bad until you wake up.

Second warning: knowing how you stay asleep may trigger an “ah-ha” moment or two. If you aren’t ready to do this, read no further. Go back to scrolling Facebook or playing Candy Crush.

If you’re ready (or think you’re ready) to wake up to what is really happening then let's take a look around. As I write about in my book, On The Verge, there are a few obvious ways you may be manipulating life in order to stay asleep.

* Force: Forcing is your tendency to manipulate people and situations in order to make outcomes shift in your favor.

* Fix: Fixing is your tendency to try to make situations better or make people behave so that you are not uncomfortable or inconvenienced.

* Flee: Fleeing is your tendency to avoid or ignore uncomfortable and unpleasant situations or people.

How do you force, fix or flee? Who are you forcing, fixing, or fleeing from? How are staying asleep from life as it is in this very moment? Listen to this episode for more examples and prompts.

Settle Down. Get Clear.

Get super clear about your tendency to force, fix and flee and the light bulbs will turn on to other places you are still asleep to reality. While it may not be easy to see how you’re trying to manipulate life, it is liberating. Scratch that. It is beyond liberating.

Waking up is ultimately a blessing.

If you’re committed to getting real then simply get curious. Look at your actions,

Photo by UpSplash

Waking up. Get underneath your mental clutter to see what's really going on.

Waking up. It’s the buzz in spiritual circles. What does it mean and why does it matter? Also, what are we waking up from? The answers to these questions are not always easy to hear. They may reveal deep truths about how we are living, what we are doing or not doing, saying or not saying. One thing is for sure, once we wake up it is hard to fall back asleep.

Waking up is a fancy way of describing what it feels like to get a dose of reality. Call it a whisper it your ear or a slap in the face. And when it happens there is place to hide

Waking up can be both a blessing and a curse (so be careful what you ask for.)

Wake Up From Your Dreams 

Waking up can feel refreshing like when you first open your eyes in the morning. Refreshed from a good night’s sleep you wake up from your dreams and have to reorient yourself for a moment. Dreams from the night before may appear foggy or unclear. As you focus your gaze around your bedroom you gain your bearings to where you are. Real life becomes clear. You see your bedroom and the sky outside the window. You are awake to reality. The dream is over.

Waking up during the day feel similar. Clarity emerges. Reality sets in. You see clearly where you are and what you are doing. You see clearly what is working and what is not.

Anyone can wake up. You don’t need to meditate or “be spiritual.” In fact, oftentimes the less you try to wake up the more you will.

Are you ready?

First warning: waking up from a dream about what is real and true will expose the good, the bad and the ugly.  It can be, and often is, an “oh shit” moment. In other words, it will rip you open and expose every nook and cranny in your heart and mind needing some airing out.

On the other hand, sometimes it’s easier to stay in the dark, under the covers and asleep.

Staying Asleep

Hiding from reality is easy. We do it all the time by remaining stuck in unconscious belief systems, unhealthy emotional habits and mental clutter. Staying asleep is not so bad until you wake up.

Second warning: knowing how you stay asleep may trigger an “ah-ha” moment or two. If you aren’t ready to do this, read no further. Go back to scrolling Facebook or playing Candy Crush.

If you’re ready (or think you’re ready) to wake up to what is really happening then let's take a look around. As I write about in my book, On The Verge, there are a few obvious ways you may be manipulating life in order to stay asleep.

* Force: Forcing is your tendency to manipulate people and situations in order to make outcomes shift in your favor.

* Fix: Fixing is your tendency to try to make situations better or make people behave so that you are not uncomfortable or inconvenienced.

* Flee: Fleeing is your tendency to avoid or ignore uncomfortable and unpleasant situations or people.

How do you force, fix or flee? Who are you forcing, fixing, or fleeing from? How are staying asleep from life as it is in this very moment? Listen to this episode for more examples and prompts.

Settle Down. Get Clear.

Get super clear about your tendency to force, fix and flee and the light bulbs will turn on to other places you are still asleep to reality. While it may not be easy to see how you’re trying to manipulate life, it is liberating. Scratch that. It is beyond liberating.

Waking up is ultimately a blessing.

If you’re committed to getting real then simply get curious. Look at your actions,

Don't wait another day to acknowledge the truth. 3 steps to getting clear.

If you keep doing what you’re doing you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. The truth is deep down you already know what you want and you already know what you need. Are you willing to hear the answers?

In other words, can you handle the truth?

In this episode I talk about the veil that exists between you and the truth of what you really, really want. In the long run, if you keep running circles around the obvious, you’re going to find yourself stuck with the same problems a decade from now.

Over your lifetime you accumulate patterns and conditions that separate you from deep yearnings. It’s your responsibility to get clear. No one will do it for you—ever.

3 Steps to Getting Clear

Here's a quick version of the steps I further explain in this episode.

* Get quiet: Get up early or stay up late.

* Ask the question – What do I really, really want?

* Write it down: Put pen to paper. Fill three pages without editing

What do you really, really want? You already know. Can you handle the truth?

Finally, life is too short to wait ten years to acknowledge the truth. Don’t wait another day.

The time is now. You are not too late.

Buckle up your seatbelt. The truth is waiting for you.

Mentions and More

Related episodes:

* #45 Be Nimble and Pivot

* #32 Jumping Patterns

Resources:

* Scott and Nancy McBride www.clearlightmeditation.org

* Adyashanti www.adyashant.com

A Grateful Heart by MJ Ryan

Always we hope

Someone else has the answer

Some other place will be better,

Some other time it will all turn out.

This is it.

No one else has the answer

No other place will be better,

And it has already turned out.

At the center of your being

You have the answer,

You know who you are

And you know what you want.

There is no need

To run outside

For better seeing.

Nor to peer from a window.

Rather abide at the center of your being;

For the more you leave it, the less you learn.

Search your heart

And see

The way to do

Is to be.

-----------

The scene from the movie A Few Good Men that goes as follows:

Col. Jessup: You want answers? 

Kaffee: I think I'm entitled to them. 

Col. Jessep: You want answers? 

Kaffee: I WANT THE TRUTH! 

Col. Jessup: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

-----------

For more on my teachings read  

Don't wait another day to acknowledge the truth. 3 steps to getting clear.

If you keep doing what you’re doing you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. The truth is deep down you already know what you want and you already know what you need. Are you willing to hear the answers?

In other words, can you handle the truth?

In this episode I talk about the veil that exists between you and the truth of what you really, really want. In the long run, if you keep running circles around the obvious, you’re going to find yourself stuck with the same problems a decade from now.

Over your lifetime you accumulate patterns and conditions that separate you from deep yearnings. It’s your responsibility to get clear. No one will do it for you—ever.

3 Steps to Getting Clear

Here's a quick version of the steps I further explain in this episode.

* Get quiet: Get up early or stay up late.

* Ask the question – What do I really, really want?

* Write it down: Put pen to paper. Fill three pages without editing

What do you really, really want? You already know. Can you handle the truth?

Finally, life is too short to wait ten years to acknowledge the truth. Don’t wait another day.

The time is now. You are not too late.

Buckle up your seatbelt. The truth is waiting for you.

Mentions and More

Related episodes:

* #45 Be Nimble and Pivot

* #32 Jumping Patterns

Resources:

* Scott and Nancy McBride www.clearlightmeditation.org

* Adyashanti www.adyashant.com

A Grateful Heart by MJ Ryan

Always we hope

Someone else has the answer

Some other place will be better,

Some other time it will all turn out.

This is it.

No one else has the answer

No other place will be better,

And it has already turned out.

At the center of your being

You have the answer,

You know who you are

And you know what you want.

There is no need

To run outside

For better seeing.

Nor to peer from a window.

Rather abide at the center of your being;

For the more you leave it, the less you learn.

Search your heart

And see

The way to do

Is to be.

-----------

The scene from the movie A Few Good Men that goes as follows:

Col. Jessup: You want answers? 

Kaffee: I think I'm entitled to them. 

Col. Jessep: You want answers? 

Kaffee: I WANT THE TRUTH! 

Col. Jessup: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

-----------

For more on my teachings read  

Want to Drastically Change the Quality of Your Life? Name Your Stress.

Stress is a sneaky bugger. Like an invisible gas, stress creeps into our systems and slowly disassembles our life. We have no idea how much we absorb. Furthermore, we are unconscious about how much we manifest.

According to the Mayo Clinic, being able to recognize common symptoms of stress can give you a jump on managing them.

While it's necessary to understand the physical effects of stress, it's also equally important to understand what is stressing us out. In other words, bring your anxieties and inconveniences out in the open for investigation instead of shoving down or ignoring their causes.

That is to say, not dealing with stress can result in more stress.

In this episode, I get personal about my own stressors and why, lately, I am actually feeling clear and calm. Also, I share the effects stress has had on my body and overall wellbeing, i.e. weight gain, irritability, etc. To illustrate my point I share how I recently examined what makes me anxious, worried, nervous and jerky.

On the positive side, talking about stress has been liberating—which is why I want to share my process with you. Naming exactly what makes you stressed (really naming by the way, not just giving lip service to yourself) offers you the key to feeling less stressed.

Naming stress is the first step to lightening up

If you want to drastically change the quality of your life you need to be honest.

Here’s how:

Firstly, let’s agree that we all carry stress—some of us more than others. The truth is that it’s nearly impossible to be in this world without carrying some low-level anxiety.

Secondly, be willing to expose everything (really, every single situation or person giving you grief). In other words, we need to be curious enough about our wellbeing to get down to the nitty gritty stuff we’ve been avoiding.

It’s important to realize that if you don’t get real with yourself, it’s much harder to change. To begin, plan on putting pen to paper for at least 15 minutes. Create a list of the big (and small) people and situations that make you anxious, sick to your stomach or simply irritable.

Getting Started

Try this exercise to begin.

I am stressed about __________________ in the following ways. Use the prompts below. Go through the list one by one. Answer all that is applicable in your life. And, don’t forget to buckle up. You may uncover big, uncomfortable and/or heavy stuff.

* Health

* Habits

* Work (or lack thereof)

* Partner (or lack thereof)

* Children (or lack thereof)

* Parents

* Siblings

* Friends

* Hobbies (or lack thereof)

* Uncertainty

Naming your stressors is the first step to improving your health and lightening your attitude. Once your stress triggers are out in the open, you will be able to see them more clearly. In other words, naming your stress gives you space.

Don’t ignore your stress any longer. If you want to drastically change the quality of your life you must name what stands in your way.

Naming my stress has liberated me in many ways. I feel lighter and brighter and ready to face the stress triggers that remain in my life. And trust me, there's still more left for me to deal with.

How about you? Let me know what you find.

Previous Episode:  #84: Be Free. Get Out of Your Own Way

Want to Drastically Change the Quality of Your Life? Name Your Stress.

Stress is a sneaky bugger. Like an invisible gas, stress creeps into our systems and slowly disassembles our life. We have no idea how much we absorb. Furthermore, we are unconscious about how much we manifest.

According to the Mayo Clinic, being able to recognize common symptoms of stress can give you a jump on managing them.

While it's necessary to understand the physical effects of stress, it's also equally important to understand what is stressing us out. In other words, bring your anxieties and inconveniences out in the open for investigation instead of shoving down or ignoring their causes.

That is to say, not dealing with stress can result in more stress.

In this episode, I get personal about my own stressors and why, lately, I am actually feeling clear and calm. Also, I share the effects stress has had on my body and overall wellbeing, i.e. weight gain, irritability, etc. To illustrate my point I share how I recently examined what makes me anxious, worried, nervous and jerky.

On the positive side, talking about stress has been liberating—which is why I want to share my process with you. Naming exactly what makes you stressed (really naming by the way, not just giving lip service to yourself) offers you the key to feeling less stressed.

Naming stress is the first step to lightening up

If you want to drastically change the quality of your life you need to be honest.

Here’s how:

Firstly, let’s agree that we all carry stress—some of us more than others. The truth is that it’s nearly impossible to be in this world without carrying some low-level anxiety.

Secondly, be willing to expose everything (really, every single situation or person giving you grief). In other words, we need to be curious enough about our wellbeing to get down to the nitty gritty stuff we’ve been avoiding.

It’s important to realize that if you don’t get real with yourself, it’s much harder to change. To begin, plan on putting pen to paper for at least 15 minutes. Create a list of the big (and small) people and situations that make you anxious, sick to your stomach or simply irritable.

Getting Started

Try this exercise to begin.

I am stressed about __________________ in the following ways. Use the prompts below. Go through the list one by one. Answer all that is applicable in your life. And, don’t forget to buckle up. You may uncover big, uncomfortable and/or heavy stuff.

* Health

* Habits

* Work (or lack thereof)

* Partner (or lack thereof)

* Children (or lack thereof)

* Parents

* Siblings

* Friends

* Hobbies (or lack thereof)

* Uncertainty

Naming your stressors is the first step to improving your health and lightening your attitude. Once your stress triggers are out in the open, you will be able to see them more clearly. In other words, naming your stress gives you space.

Don’t ignore your stress any longer. If you want to drastically change the quality of your life you must name what stands in your way.

Naming my stress has liberated me in many ways. I feel lighter and brighter and ready to face the stress triggers that remain in my life. And trust me, there's still more left for me to deal with.

How about you? Let me know what you find.

Previous Episode:  #84: Be Free. Get Out of Your Own Way

Avoid Accidents and Incidents. Clean up Sloppy Brain.

I call my busy mind my “sloppy brain” when I’m distracted and feel clumsy and out of sorts. Let’s face it, sloppy brain happens to all of us. I once went to work with my slippers on. No joke! Luckily, as a yoga teacher, I spend most of my workday barefoot, but that still didn’t protect me from the loving abuse I took from colleagues and students.

I see examples of sloppy brain on the highway, in the grocery store — everywhere. Too many of us are sloppy in how we show up in our day-to-day lives.

This isn’t a judgment, just a fact.

Put simply, your sloppy mind is in a weakened state. It speeds through life and doesn’t slow down to take even a few seconds to tell you to, say, mindfully place your phone and keys in the same place, set your teacup away from your laptop, or notice the stop sign in front of you.

Furthermore, accidents happen when you get stuck in the loop of the sloppy brain. Some of these incidents are mere inconveniences (spilled coffee, phone in toilet) while others can be detrimental (fender bender or worse, typo on presentation).

Avoiding Sloppy Brain Mode

In general, your sloppy brain takes overs when you try to:

* Do too much in too little time (who doesn’t do this?)

* Multitask (not happening)

* Take shortcuts (ugh, I love shortcuts)

In this episode we explore the qualities of your sloppy brain and the following three steps to avoiding potential incidents and accidents:

* Slow Down

* Go Step-by-Step

* Take Pleasure in the Process

Do you live with a sloppy brain? Are you distracted much of the time? Welcome to the club! Take a deep breath and get excited, because you’re going to discover how to clean up your mental mess.

For more read Chapter 4 of On The Verge: Wake Up, Show Up and Shine and learn about four other traits of your busy mind including: Crazy Busy, Over-Thinking, Auto Pilot and Information Overload.

 

 

Get my free app – On The Verge - App Store 

 

Avoid Accidents and Incidents. Clean up Sloppy Brain.

I call my busy mind my “sloppy brain” when I’m distracted and feel clumsy and out of sorts. Let’s face it, sloppy brain happens to all of us. I once went to work with my slippers on. No joke! Luckily, as a yoga teacher, I spend most of my workday barefoot, but that still didn’t protect me from the loving abuse I took from colleagues and students.

I see examples of sloppy brain on the highway, in the grocery store — everywhere. Too many of us are sloppy in how we show up in our day-to-day lives.

This isn’t a judgment, just a fact.

Put simply, your sloppy mind is in a weakened state. It speeds through life and doesn’t slow down to take even a few seconds to tell you to, say, mindfully place your phone and keys in the same place, set your teacup away from your laptop, or notice the stop sign in front of you.

Furthermore, accidents happen when you get stuck in the loop of the sloppy brain. Some of these incidents are mere inconveniences (spilled coffee, phone in toilet) while others can be detrimental (fender bender or worse, typo on presentation).

Avoiding Sloppy Brain Mode

In general, your sloppy brain takes overs when you try to:

* Do too much in too little time (who doesn’t do this?)

* Multitask (not happening)

* Take shortcuts (ugh, I love shortcuts)

In this episode we explore the qualities of your sloppy brain and the following three steps to avoiding potential incidents and accidents:

* Slow Down

* Go Step-by-Step

* Take Pleasure in the Process

Do you live with a sloppy brain? Are you distracted much of the time? Welcome to the club! Take a deep breath and get excited, because you’re going to discover how to clean up your mental mess.

For more read Chapter 4 of On The Verge: Wake Up, Show Up and Shine and learn about four other traits of your busy mind including: Crazy Busy, Over-Thinking, Auto Pilot and Information Overload.

 

 

Get my free app – On The Verge - App Store 

 

Live your life the way you wear your jeans — not too tight and not too loose.

Finding the perfect fitting pair of jeans is an art form, much like life. After time, tight jeans make us cranky and the loose ones make us feel sloppy. Much like life, well fitting jeans make us feel alert to what's happening yet relaxed with what is. What does this all mean?

In this free-form episode Cara shares how she was recently inspired with a great idea for a talk but she put off recording a podcast episode thinking she could save it for another day. As a result of her procrastination, she learned that you cannot recreate creative impulse. Furthermore, she discovered that genius happens in the moment so we need to be ready for it.

When a moment of inspiration strikes, what do you do? Does your chronic perfectionism set in? Do you procrastinate? When you are hit with a great idea or stroke of genius do you listen carefully and take action right away?

And, most importantly, how do those jean feel today?

Previous Episode:  #85: Stress: Name yours to Drastically Change Your life 

The Artist Way - by Julia Cameron

Get my free app – On The Verge - App Store 

For more teachings, please read my book On The Verge: Wake up, Show up, and Shine? Order it here