My first therapist apt. It was not what I was expecting. Getting help is very difficult and trying to stay hopeful that it can help me. I speak into the void my thoughts after scarfing down McDonald's right after my apt.

So much for being an inspirational social media guru / comedic podcast #livingmybestlife #dreams #acting #feelings #depressed #intothevoid

The holidays are always a sad time for me and this year has been exceptionally sad and difficult. I struggle to make sense of my lie struggles and why people's opinions of me matter so much. I contemplate why its so hard to keep a stocked pantry and fridge and how I lived my life pre electric can opener. I address the agony of living with inconsiderate loud selfish neighbors who audibly assault the building with with off key horrendous karaoke sounds on a regular basis. I speak into the void. And if you are there, listening on the other side if the void, thank you.

I've always wanted to have my own podcast. But I never knew what to focus it on. I am nicheless. But I decided to let go of the fear of failure and just go for it and use it as a creative outlet. This episode focuses on just "doing the thing". For me it was to create and post a podcast. I had some difficulties during the editing process due to glitches and had to start over many times. But that's just part of the process of "doing the thing" and I'm ok with that. I speak my thoughts into the void about what inspires me, such as comedy podcast, comedians, tricking my brain into doing something even if it's scary and how to navigate the feelings of failure and judgment. Somehow my thoughts take me to mediums, fairies with mortgages and The Rock's inspirational quotes. I hope that this resonates with someone who might be listening on the other side of the void.