Speak Out 253

Today, in honor of Teen Dating Violence Prevention Month, we’re talking domestic violence prevention. Jessica and Laine talk with Jennine Devenuti, YWCA’s Education and Prevention Manager, and Kelsey Fischer, YWCA’s Youth Advocate, to learn more about YWCA’s Healthy Love program and why prevention work is so important to ending domestic violence.

The program – The Healthy Love curriculum first looks at the root causes of violence – gender, stereotypes, privilege and oppression (to name a few) - and then looks at the messages that are portrayed about these issues in the media. After establishing this foundation of understanding, the teens discuss what unhealthy relationships look like and what skills can be used to promote healthy behaviors. The Healthy Love curriculum was created by YWCA’s Prevention Program, and draws from outside resources like Owning Up (http://culturesofdignity.com/portfolio/owning-up/) and Making the Peace (https://preventipv.org/materials/making-peace-15-session-violence-prevention-curriculum-young-people).

Resources for teens and parents – There are a lot of great resources for both parents and teens online. Scarleteen (http://www.scarleteen.com/) is a website that covers inclusive, comprehensive and supportive sexuality and relationship info. Love is Respect (http://www.loveisrespect.org/) has resources to empower and educate young people to prevent and end abusive relationships. Other websites like Break the Cycle (https://www.breakthecycle.org/) and That’s Not Cool provide resources about teen dating violence and technology abuse. The YWCA is also a resource for teens and parents who are seeking resources or advice on healthy relationships – to contact our Prevention team, please see their info below.

A conversation for everyone – Conversations about healthy relationships can start at any age. If you are a parent and are interested in more resources for talking to your child about prevention and healthy relationships – romantic or otherwise - reach out to YWCA’s prevention team at [email protected] or 253.272.4181 ext 269.

Learn about the dynamics of domestic violence and DV 101 in today’s episode - Claire, Laine and Jessica talk with Jennine Devenuti, YWCA’s Education and Prevention Manager. This topic will be split into two parts, so in this first part we will be looking into what domestic violence is, and what makes it different from other types of violence.

In this episode:

Where it begins – Domestic violence is the use of physical, sexual, and psychological coercion or force to establish and maintain control over a partner. It is a pattern of abusive behavior used over time. These behaviors are targeted and repeated, the violence increases in frequency and severity.

Myths – There are a lot of myths about what causes domestic violence – alcohol and other substances do not cause someone to be an abuser. There is also a misconception that men do not experience domestic violence, but the statistics show that 1 in 7 men experience domestic violence – this misconception is harmful because it prohibits male victims from seeking services. All of YWCA Pierce County’s services are gender-inclusive.

Victim Safety - Victim Safety: it is imperative that all responses to domestic violence keep the safety of the victim as the top priority. It is never appropriate to blame a victim for the abuse, or the make judgments about what they “should” do. A victim will know what survival skills work best in their situation, what is safe for themselves and their children and what is not. There are many reasons why victims do not leave abusive relationships. The main reason is safety—the most lethal time for a victim is while in the process of leaving an abuser.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call our 24-Hour Hotline at (253)383-2593.

Claire, Laine and Jessica a look at the 2017 Women’s March, the good and the bad. The Women’s March brought over 2 million people around the world together for one day, but what has happened in our world since that day was over? Our hosts take a look at their own personal contributions and those of our community.

In this episode: 

Making it personal – Claire and Laine share how the women’s march made them challenge themselves more in 2017 to be involved and make personal commitments to making change. Claire points out that having one or two big issues that are dear to you makes it more manageable to make change – she has dedicated herself to a zero-waste lifestyle goal and has a blog to make herself accountable to that goal.

Bringing people to the forefront – There are more women than ever who are running for office (Emily’s List link), and that includes women of color. Lifting up these voices and voices of other marginalized people is vital to making change in our world. This is also important outside of politics, our communities are stronger when more diverse voices are heard.

Intersectionality is vital – There is a lot of work to be done in regards to intersectionality with the Women’s March. Trans women and folks of different abilities have specifically been left out of the Women’s March, whether it be through pussy hats, vagina-centric posters and lack of accessibility to necessary areas (ie bathroom), these shortcomings should be addressed in future movements.

Carly Roberts, former YWCA Associate Board member, speaks with Hannah McLeod, Director of Legal Services at YWCA Pierce County and Judge Judy Jasprica, who presides over the Domestic Violence Court of the Pierce County District and is a member of Washington Women Lawyers. Our two guests represent the different sides of the law, criminal and civil, but in domestic violence they often intersect. Tune in to learn the complexities of domestic violence and the law, and what that means for survivors.

In this episode:

Criminal law - When there is a call to 911 to report a domestic violence disturbance, a police report is created regarding the incident, this report is then given to a Prosecutor who will decide if there is a criminal charge. Whenever possible the Prosecutor will try to contact the survivor to include them in the process.

Civil Law - Civil Law in relation to domestic violence deals with domestic violence protection orders, civil protection orders not connected to a criminal case, family law (divorce), legal separations, child support, parenting plans and maternity cases. Survivors can access these services through YWCA Pierce County’s Legal Services program.

Challenges - Survivors face numerous challenges when dealing with either civil or criminal court. The court is an adversarial system, which means survivors must personally appear in court and summon the other party to appear in court, and survivors must talk openly in court about the abuse they faced with their abuser in the room. On top of that, if a survivor is representing themselves in court they are held to the same standards and expectations that attorneys are, without having much knowledge of the law and those systems. Other challenges include financial obligations to move a case forward and scheduling conflicts.

Laine and Jessica speak to Jamika Scott, a YWCA Children’s Advocate and founding member of the Tacoma Action Collective (TAC). Jamika talks about the origin of TAC, police violence in Tacoma and ways to get involved and be an ally for racial justice.

In this episode:

Tacoma Action Collective - Jamika organized a vigil for Mike Brown and Tamir Rice and after the event, there was a call for a space for people to connect on racial justice issues. This led to the formation of TAC which promotes and organizes local events like rallies/marches through their Facebook, along with creating dialogue surrounding racial justice in the Tacoma community and nationwide.

Women and police violence - The conversation of police violence is typically centered around Black men. While men of color face frequent police violence, women of color also experience this violence and must also be included represented in the issue.

Next steps - Jamika shares some unique ideas for getting involved in racial justice, and for being an ally. One important thing that she wants allies to realize is that racial justice work is emotional for people of color.

The men of YWCA’s Associate Board talk feminism and what it means to be a male feminist. Associate Board members Chad Barker, Zach Dillon, Andrew Horton and Jarel Sanders talk about why they are feminists and how feminism guides their everyday life and actions.

In this episode:

The male perspective - Andrew talks about how as a man, he can’t assume to know how women feel in different situations and stresses the importance of listening and being open to understanding what women experience.

Self-awareness - The men talk about how raising your own awareness of women’s issues and struggles, and having others help do this, is vital to being a feminist.

Making mistakes Zach talks about how it’s important to have people in your life who can call you out so that you can continue to learn.

Speak out - The men talk about how as men it’s important to lift up women’s voices and needs and lead by example.

Know the history - Jarel touches on big movers and shakers of gender equality – women of color

In Speak Out 253’s inaugural episode, hear from Laine Hoggan, Associate Board Chair, Claire Grubb, Associate Board Member, and Jessica Gavre, YWCA Development Director, as they talk about YWCA Pierce County and the YWCA Associate Board.

In this episode:

What are YWCA Pierce County’s services? YWCA Pierce County’s services cover a wide variety of domestic violence survivors needs – from legal services to the safe shelter. Anyone can access these services, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, and pets are welcome in the shelter!

The 253 Club - Our hosts talk about the beginning of the 253 Club and where it is now. Learn about 253 Club’s monthly happy hours and product drives and how you can contribute today.

Podcast preview - Get an inside scoop on topics that will be covered in future Speak Out 253 episodes.