If I've made a mistake since becoming public with my political opinions, it has been that I didn't set a strict boundary about discussing politics with close friends and family.
Personally, I'd rather not talk to anyone around me about politics because there are more interesting topics to discuss than who they voted for and why they hate or love a particular politician.
Speaking Wrong At The Right Time is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
The last thing I want to know about someone I've grown up with my entire life is the nuances of the party they support because it's irrelevant to why I love them.
Politics is incredibly personal for most people, and too many treat their political opinions like their children, causing them to get borderline violent, as if you insulted one of their kids.
Order “The Children We Left Behind” Now on Wrong Speak Publishing or Amazon!I'm a rarity in that I don't take politics personally in that way, and I can talk about it like we're discussing how the Knicks or Mets lost another game the night before. Just like when they go on a losing streak, I don't lose sleep over either.
Whether you like my team doesn't matter to me either: That's your prerogative.
Share
Recently, someone close to me started sending me unsolicited videos with messages attached. At first, I thought they were just viral videos of random stuff, so I didn't watch them. Honestly, I didn't even pay attention to them until they continuously sent me stuff over several days, which was abnormal.
I finally looked at the messages, and they were all political nonsense with messages about "losing rights" and what I supposedly support. When someone does this, they've already assumed what you think and hold you to blame.
Visit www.xx-xyathletics.com/ADAM to shop through their top-quality athletic Women’s (XX) and Men’s (XY) clothing, ranging from t-shirts to leggings.When I responded to this person, they brought up how, since political commentary is my job, they wanted to hear my opinion. But inserting what you claim I believe isn't a statement of curiosity: You've already decided what I believe without asking me.
While I don't care if people agree with my politics or not, what bothers me is when they don't even bother to ask me. I've found that most people have no real clue about the nuances of my politics. They have no idea how much information I have or the people I have access to in order to formulate my opinions.
It doesn't mean that I'm always right, but it means that my assessment is based on more than some random propaganda video they saw on Instagram or TikTok.
For example, when the debate was happening about the alleged "Don't Say Gay" bill, I talked directly to the Florida Press Secretary for details on the bill, and he showed me exactly what the bill says (of course, nothing about being gay).
Most people don't have this capability or privilege. This is not a statement of bragging; it's just to say that when you assert my beliefs, you're always going to miss the mark.
All they know is that I voted for Trump, so I must support and like everything he does. They have no clue that I didn't even decide to vote for Trump until a few months prior and considered sitting out this election.
Share
They have no idea that my decision to vote for him was more pragmatic than out of outright love for him. They don't know what my real political interests are or what motivates me.
This is the biggest problem I have with political discussions with people: They aren't curious. They just want to argue about nonsense that doesn't matter. They want to yell at the archetype of what they hate, and since they can't voice their displeasure with them directly, you'll become the avatar to direct their animosity.
For years, I've had to put up with people saying, "I don't always agree with you," but never telling me what they actually disagree with me on. They never want to talk to me, but they'll talk about me with everyone around me.
But you know what? I'm at the point where I don't want them to tell me what they disagree about. The days of me being open to dialogue are gone, and there is a good reason for this.
When I responded to this person, I was angry, and I don't want to feel that way about anyone I care about. I wasn't angry that they had political differences; I was angry that they were using me as an outlet for their political frustrations.
Just because I do this for work doesn't mean I want it infused into all of my relationships. My wife and I never discuss politics because there are far more interesting things to talk about. Politics muddies the waters of relationships, and it doesn't need to.
This was partially my fault for not standing firm on a boundary about discussing politics with people close to me. I never liked doing it, even if they agreed with me. Our relationships were never dependent on it, and they don't need to be today.
So, moving forward, if someone wants to talk about it, I'm just going to end the conversation and tell them that I don't discuss these things anymore. I care more about my relationships with people than I do about who they vote for and why.
If they can't handle this, then that's their problem, not mine. I no longer care if they misinterpret me or not. This boundary isn't to punish them; it's to save what we have from being unnecessarily corrupted.
Refer a friend
