Speaking Wrong At The Right Time

In this clip, Benny Johnson asked the question “How do we keep winning with our with our young men and proving out that fatherhood should be what you want, what you aspire to as a man?”

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I hope you enjoy my answer.

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Days ago, I lost my friend to a tough battle with cancer. It was only weeks ago that he told me that, due to his age and the advancement, the doctors said there was nothing else they could do.

The last time I talked to him, I believe he knew it would be the last time we would speak.

I’ve heard lots of stories of people dying, and they just have a sense that it’s coming to an end. While he was a fighter, I think he knew the inevitability of his passing was coming even before the doctors told him.

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I found out he passed away only hours after being on stage at a conference in Orlando this past Saturday. I received a video call while sitting in the audience from his account, which was unusual since we don’t video chat.

I called back, and it wasn’t him; it was his wife. She was distraught and told me that the man she’d been married to for over 30 years and her best friend, died two days ago. She said that he told her to reach out to me after he passed and tell me how much our friendship meant to him.

To honor his memory, I want to talk about my friend, Phil, and how we became unlikely friends.

I met Phil originally on a free speech platform shortly after the death of George Floyd. From my perspective, it seemed like our country had just flipped on its head, and new narratives were being formulated that at times made me question my sanity. Was I going crazy, or was everyone else insane?

On this forum, I would write intimately about my feelings and perspectives. Being there was a blessing for multiple reasons, but if it weren’t for that forum, I wouldn’t be where I’m at today.

After a couple of long-form posts, I received several messages of encouragement stating that I should write more often: Phil was one of those people.

Our dialogue would switch from the forum to Facebook Messenger, where we would talk almost daily about anything. At first, our conversations were cultural and political banter, and then they shifted into deeper topics, like our childhoods.

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I say we are unlikely friends because, on the surface, you wouldn’t think we’d ever be friends. He was in his 70s, a military veteran, and white; the complete opposite of myself. However, we not only had common viewpoints on politics, but we bonded over our childhood trauma.

We were both abandoned and lost boys, unsure of how to become strong men because we never had fathers to train us up. Phil never knew who his father was because no adult would ever tell him.

He admitted to me how he always felt less than other boys, and I knew exactly what he felt like. He stated that the only reason he joined the military was because he didn’t know what to do with his life and felt that the structure was helpful.

While the military was a positive part of his life, he would never shake that feeling of being lost in the world and lacking value. He didn’t really talk about it when he was younger. Instead, he drank alcohol to numb the pain.

At the beginning of our friendship, he would state how he had regret for his early adult years because of how alcohol messed up his relationships, especially with his children.

He knew he wasn’t a good father, and he hated that about himself. He had tremendous guilt about what he used to be and felt hopeless about what he could do to reunify with his children.

It was because of Phil that I gained empathy for flawed fathers filled with regret who lost hope due to their own internal strife. He didn’t have a father figure, a man to properly show him how to be a healthy father figure.

Instead, he was left alone to figure out how to handle his childhood wounds, and he did it the best way he knew how: through the bottle.

Despite him years later being able to stop drinking, the damage was done with his relationship with his children. The first time he told me about these intimate details, I told him that he should never give up on his children.

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I explained to him that he needed to apologize for what he had done with all sincerity. I didn’t judge him because he had already done enough of that to himself. Instead, I empathized with him and restored hope in reunification.

This conversation happened in 2020, and earlier this year, when I inquired about how everything was with his children, he let me know that two of his children were back in his life.

From the very beginning, Phil always believed in me and encouraged me to keep writing and speaking the truth. Not many people know this, but when I wrote my first book, only a handful of people knew about it.

Phil was one of those people, as I would periodically send him pages of the book as I was writing it. He would be blown away and tell me how I needed to hurry and finish so the world could read my words.

He was so impactful for me during that time that I wrote about our friendship in my first book, “Black Victim To Black Victor.”

If I’m honest, I had no real expectations of the book going anywhere. I thought my Facebook friends, some family, and maybe 10 strangers who discovered it somewhere would be interested in reading my book out of pure curiosity.

Where I am today, Phil always knew would happen. He saw what I couldn’t see. Over the five years of knowing each other, Phil would periodically send me messages giving me congratulations and telling me how he was proud of me. He would see my television appearance or read an article in the New York Post and make it known that he knew I would be here.

As an abandoned kid, you grow up wondering if anyone cares about you. It’s the low self-esteem part of me that would question if I’m of value and if anyone believes in my capabilities.

So, it means a lot to me when people believe in me. Phil wanted nothing but the best for me, and I felt the same for him. They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but he grew as a man after we became friends.

We met at a tumultuous time in American history, and he’s told me on a couple of occasions that I kept him from going down a more ideologically radical road. I loved him too much to let him fall down the rabbit hole.

Usually, I don’t expect to meet my online friends, but when he found out that I was giving a speech in a neighboring state, he drove down with his lovely wife of over 30 years to meet me in person for the first time.

I wish I had gotten to spend more time with him, but I feel blessed to have met him at all.

Since finding out about his passing, it’s been difficult. I am sad but happy that he’s no longer suffering because he’s with the Lord now. On my plane ride home, I stared out the window, looking at the clouds, and I couldn’t stop crying as I was thinking about him.

Whenever someone close to me passes, I always think about the totality of life. It realigns my purpose and makes me even more thankful for the time I have here with people that I care about.

Phil knew I would change the world even when I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to. And to change the world, all you have to do is impact at least one person, and that positivity will ripple throughout the world in ways you’ll never see.

While at this conference, I spoke with a young man who was hesitant about reunifying with his father, who was regretfully not in his life. I told him to give his father grace and start a new relationship with him because that’s what I would do if my father were alive.

The next day, the young man told me via social media that he agreed to meet with his father, which his father was extremely pleased to hear.

It was shortly after this conversation that I found out about Phil’s passing. I like to think that Phil was there with me while helping this young man come back together with his father.

I already know that I made him proud, and when times get difficult, I’ll remind myself of Phil’s words of encouragement in the darkest of times.

Rest in Peace, my dear friend, Phillip Bannister. May the Lord be with you.

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I’m glad to once again be invited back onto Sky News Australia’s “The Media Show” to give my two-cents on what’s happening here in America.

Enjoy the video!

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Oh, and we are only 15 days away from Kathy Barnette’s Seeds & Roots Summit in Philadelphia, featuring Keynote Speakers Killer Mike. It will be a purpose driven a fascinating conversation about American culture, business, and prosperity for us all.

I will also be there moderating one of the panels. Tickets are available at www.kathybarnette.com.

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I feel sort of guilty for not writing as much as I have in the past but I assure you there are good reasons for it.

For one, believe it or not, I have trouble staying focused. Meaning, if at a given moment I’m focused on one thing, it’s difficult for me to switch gears and be creative in another area.

Speaking Wrong At The Right Time is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

If you’ve been following me for some time, I don’t write about everything happening in the news because I often think it’s not important. This means that I only write about topics that I feel passionate about so I can produce the best product. I’m terrible at faking interest and emotions.

With all my excuses out of the way, I have been working on other projects that don’t involve writing. You may have seen my video from Crete detailing how I’m looking to switch gears and do more video content moving forward.

When I went to the Genspect conference, I thought I might make a 15- or 20-minute mini-documentary about what was discussed.

However, during the editing process, I realized there was just too much to cut out and decided to move forward with an hour-and-three-minute documentary instead.

The title of it will be “Not Standing Alone.” As of right now, I’m not sure of the official release date as I’m figuring out which form of distribution I want to move forward with. When I have more information, I’ll let you all know.

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On top of this documentary, I am working on a video project for The New York Post, producing a 10-15 minute mini-documentary about Scott Presler and his organization, Early Vote Action, operating in New Jersey to help get Republican gubernatorial Candidate Jack Ciattarelli elected this November.

For the past couple of days, I’ve followed Scott and his team to different events, conducting interviews with Scott himself, politicians, and regular voters to gain their perspectives on this New Jersey race.

Still working out the details on when it will be released but it’ll be very soon. I will also be writing a massive column about this race for The New York Post, which will likely release the same day as the mini-documentary.

Next week, I’ll be attending the Moms for Liberty conference in Orlando, Florida and speaking on a “Fathers” panel. I’ve been friends with the founders of Moms for Liberty since the beginning, so I’m always appreciative when they invite me to their conferences.

This will actually be the first time I’ll be on stage and I’m really excited for the opportunity to give my two cents about fatherhood, especially after writing my book “The Children We Left Behind.”

Side note: I’ll probably film interviews at the Moms for Liberty Summit and create a mini-documentary of this too.

If you’re in town, tickets are still available: Moms For Liberty Summit 25 Tickets

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For the past few months, I’ve been working alongside Kathy Barnette, former Pennsylvania Senate candidate, to help create the Seed & Roots initiative.

On October 25th, we will have our first summit in Philadelphia at The Visitors Center with keynote speaker Killer Mike. It will be a fascinating, purpose driven gathering with speakers like Kim Klacik, Delano Squires, Kaizen Asiedu, and April Chapman.

If you’re in the area, purchase tickets today! If you can’t go but know someone who might be interested, please let them know: Seed & Roots Summit 2025 Tickets

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Last but definitely not least, since 2023, I’ve been working alongside Monica Matthews to help bring her dream to fruition with a streaming platform and production house that focuses on positive, beneficial, and informational content that is entertaining.

I’m not the only one who notices that most movies today are terrible. They’re packed with overt political messaging or just highly degenerate. THIRST Entertainment aims to not only be a place for you to stream content but we are looking to create feature films, documentaries, and episodic series that are family friendly (without being lame like Hallmark).

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When the time is right, I’ll provide more details.

So, as you can tell, I’ve been busy. However, I promise to write a bit more in the near future. There are a lot of things happening in October but I should be able to focus more in November to write more frequently for you all.

Please support these projects and God bless!

Speaking Wrong At The Right Time is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

I’ve been working with Kathy Barnette to help produce the Seed & Roots Summit, the first official one starting in Philadelphia.

This isn’t just another event.

Speaking Wrong At The Right Time is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

It’s a call to rebuild the moral, cultural, and economic foundations of our country — together.

The Seed & Roots Summit will bring voices from across America to speak honestly about what it takes to build strong families, thriving communities, and meaningful work in an age of division, distractions and opportunities.

👉 Purchase Tickets Here

The seeds we plant today will either offer shade for the next generation — or a stump they’ll be forced to uproot tomorrow.

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Speaking Wrong At The Right Time is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Speaking Wrong At The Right Time is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

I was invited to speak at Genspect by the Director of Genspect, Stella O’Malley. Months ago, she contacted me after reading my book “The Children We Left Behind” to invite me onto her podcast and subsequently to give a speech at the conference.

For people who aren’t aware, Genspect is a trans-critical organization that brings together scientists, mental health professionals, medical doctors, detransitioners, and concerned parents.

Genspect sees how this idea of trans is harmful mentally and leaves people mutilated, including children.

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The reason I agreed to speak was because I see the trans issue as a manifestation of internal helplessness, inability to fit in, and confusion over self.

However, in the speech, I address the elephant in the room: Trans ideology is demonic at its core. It’s a pervasive and evil ideology that wants to corrupt the purity of children.

If you’ve ever seen the images of girls and boys removing their genitalia, you’d understand how this ideology turns healthy children into experiments and forever patients.

I am highly empathetic to the boys and girls who are confused, and I think we should do more to reach out to them.

As far as my feelings after the speech: I feel incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to speak in front of such an accomplished audience but also the livestreamers worldwide. After the speech, a number of people came up to me with tears because this issue is incredibly close to them for various reasons.

These are people who are suffering alongside a loved one who is struggling with their identity and even someone who detransitioned but still has childhood wounds that have yet to fully heal.

After this speech, I gave several people hugs because I’m basically a big teddy bear, and sometimes we just want to feel that someone understands what we are going through.

This issue is real. Children are being mentally harmed and mutilated. It’s time we stop being afraid to call out evil.

NOTE: I am working on a short documentary about the conference featuring interviews with speakers and Stella.

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Last year was the first time I attempted to record my vacation with my wife while traveling throughout Turkey. It was an unforgetable experience and one I was glad to capture on video.

However, this year, I wanted to do something that was different. I wanted to produce a short documentary style film not just highlighting our travels but to show the world our love for each other.

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It dawned on me that there isn’t a lot of content out there talking about genuine love because the conversation is dominated by nihilism surrounding men, women and their ability to romantically co-exist long term.

In this 30 minute film, you’ll capture exactly why I am in love with my wife, Michele.

I hope you enjoy this and please share this to anyone who doubts genuine love still exists. If you’d like more content like this, please leave a comment. God bless!

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After a long travel day, several flight delays and a rebooking…

I finally made it to Budapest, Hungary with my wife last night.

We will be gone for 15 nights total bouncing around Europe. As per usual, to really take a break, I'm disconnecting from the internet world almost entirely for about a week. Usually when we make it to the beach, I feel inspired to write something so and send it out.

I've been a bit burnt out and I could surely use a reset. I'm also removing Twitter/X from my phone and turning off notifications. If any of my friends need me, they can text me.

Thank you all for your support.

I meant to post a link earlier this week but here is the link to my latest NY Post piece:

https://nypost.com/2025/08/31/opinion/no-we-dont-need-illegal-immigrants-to-do-jobs-americans-wont/

I will talk to you all later. God bless.

Every year since our honeymoon in September 2021, my wife and I have traveled internationally for two weeks to reconnect and celebrate our love.

It’s a tradition that has taken us to six countries so far, but this year, she doesn’t know where we’re going: it’s a complete surprise.

Speaking Wrong At The Right Time is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Earlier this year, when we were searching for possible locations to visit, the idea crossed my mind to plan our entire itinerary and make this trip a one-of-a-kind surprise.

Before we started our relationship, I used to solo travel and book everything myself, so the concept of taking control over where we would go wasn’t far-fetched.

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For her to relinquish control over this travel project and entrust it to me was simultaneously exciting and a bit terrifying.

She’s someone who wants to be in control of things, even when she has no control over them. This is driven by a fear of the unknown or uncertainty about how to respond to an unforeseen predicament.

I completely understand where she’s coming from, as I spent most of my life dealing with various levels of social anxiety, worrying about the worst possible outcomes and feeling paranoid about being ill-prepared for impending doom.

However, I haven’t felt that way in a long time after years of working on this personal flaw. While my wife has made progress in managing her need for control, it occasionally resurfaces, but she’s not alone in battling it; we tackle it together.

While most people who hear about this trip love the idea of a man taking charge and surprising his wife, I see it as an opportunity for growth in our relationship.

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My wife stepping back and allowing me to choose our destinations is an exercise in her trust in me and her willingness to release her grip on control.

I take none of this for granted. Many people throw around the word “love,” but we can still love people we don’t fully like or trust. My wife’s demonstration of complete trust in me and my leadership, combined with my commitment to following through, has only strengthened our bond.

As far as my wife knows, we are visiting three cities and a beach somewhere in Europe. I’ve given her estimated temperatures so she can pack appropriately and asked her what kind of beach environment she prefers, showing that I care about her comfort in a foreign land.

It’s been months since we booked our travels, and neither of us has wavered. The bit of fear she felt at the beginning vanished long ago and has been replaced with exuberance.

She’s excited to discover each destination on the day of travel, turning the entire two weeks into a constant mystery with reveals every few days.

While I’m looking forward to exploring and relaxing, I’m equally excited to see my wife’s smile when she learns about her next destination.

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