Spice Of Wife

Your marriage wasn't meant to just be fine.

In this episode, I'm talking about how we go from wedding-day hope, excitement, and possibility to simply going through the motions—and why I refuse to believe that's just what happens when you've been married a long time.

We're talking more love, more sex, more friendship, more money, more adventure, more pleasure, more LIFE—and how your marriage can actually become the place where you expand into the woman who is capable of having it all.

Stop settling for mediocre. You're allowed to want way, way more.

In this episode, I'm sharing 7 things I actually believe about marriage AND THE LIES I DON'T—from why marriage can be one of the best relationships of your life, to why your husband isn't responsible for your happiness, to why you may have more options than "stay miserable" or leave.

We're talking love, comparison, personal responsibility, connection, and the possibility of creating a marriage that feels fun, supportive, passionate, and deeply loving.

What if strengthening your marriage had less to do with changing your husband—and more to do with coming back to yourself?

In Episode 84 of The Spice of Wife, I sit down with Monica Tanner, author of Bad Marriage Advice, for an honest conversation about marriage, emotional regulation, intimacy, and sex.

We talk about what happens when you stop trying to control your partner and start focusing on what you actually can control: your own thoughts, emotions, choices, and responses.

Monica shares her "don't jump in the pool" analogy for staying grounded when your husband is dysregulated, and we dive into the beliefs women inherit about sex, why intimacy should feel collaborative instead of obligatory, and how to get curious about what actually feels good to you.

We also talk about rekindling intimacy after years together, having honest conversations about sex, allowing yourself to receive pleasure, and creating a marriage that continues to evolve as you do.

If you've been feeling disconnected, stuck in your head, or constantly trying to fix your marriage, this episode is an invitation to stop looking outward and start getting curious about YOU.

Grab Monica's book, Bad Marriage Advice: https://www.badmarriageadvice.com/get-the-book

Follow Monica on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/monitalksmarriage/

And if you're ready to stop trying to change your husband and start transforming the way YOU experience your marriage, apply for a free consult with me here:

www.brookesann.com/apply

Some days are just hard. The kids are sick, you're exhausted, your husband isn't showing up the way you want, and suddenly it feels like everything is happening to you.

In this episode, I'm breaking down the difference between pain and suffering — and how we often make hard moments even harder with the stories we add on top.

You'll learn how to recognize when you're slipping into martyr mode, separate clean pain from dirty pain, and ask yourself: What do I actually need right now?

And if you're ready for less stress and more connection in your marriage and home, join me for Marriage & Mocktails on October 17th.

Grab your ticket at www.brookesann.com/events

What if the thing keeping you stuck isn't actually a lack of money, time, love, support, or opportunity—but the belief that there isn't enough?

In this episode of Spice of Wife, we're going deeper into the "not enoughness" that quietly shows up everywhere: in your marriage, your bank account, your business, your home, your parenting, and even your calendar.

I'm sharing what I've learned about releasing what no longer serves you, trusting that you can figure things out, and moving from restriction and fear into abundance and overflow.

We're talking about wanting MORE—not because your life isn't enough, but because you already are enough.

More love. More connection. More money. More pleasure. More space. More possibility.

And maybe most importantly, we're talking about getting honest about what you actually desire—because your desires may be pointing you toward the woman you were always meant to become.

Check out Episode 80: How Scarcity Impacts Marriage

If your ready for the next step apply HERE to work with me.

What if the overwhelm, reactivity, pressure, and disconnection you're feeling isn't because you need to try harder—but because your nervous system has been running on high alert?

In this episode, I sit down with Rachel Friedman to talk about shame, nervous system regulation, marriage, business, motherhood, and learning how to actually be with yourself.

Rachel shares why shame often sounds like "I should," how self-witnessing can interrupt that cycle, and why nervous system tools work best when we practice them before we're in the middle of a meltdown. We also talk about the way our business stress can spill into our marriage, why our partners can become our greatest mirrors, and how learning to communicate what we actually need creates deeper intimacy.

We talk about:

• The difference between guilt and shame • Why "should" can be such a powerful shame trigger • Rachel's simple nervous system hygiene practice • Why high-achieving women can get stuck in constant fight-or-flight • How to listen to your body instead of living entirely in your head • How rejection in business and rejection in marriage can trigger the same wounds • Why regulation changes the way we communicate with our husbands • And how to stop expecting your partner to read your mind and start letting yourself be seen

If you're a woman who is constantly doing, achieving, managing, and holding everything together, this conversation is an invitation to come back into your body, soften the pressure, and create more connection with yourself and the people you love.

Follow Rachel here: https://www.facebook.com/1rachelbfriedman

Get her book HERE. Shame Free: A Somatic Workbook for healing

Scarcity doesn't just affect your bank account—it affects the way you love, connect, parent, and show up in your marriage.

In this episode, I'm breaking down how the belief that there's "not enough" can quietly create anxiety, resentment, control, and disconnection. Whether it's not enough time, money, attention, love, or support, scarcity can keep us grasping for more or pulling away altogether.

You'll learn how to recognize when scarcity is running the show, interrupt those thoughts, and begin shifting into abundance—where you feel more relaxed, connected, grateful, and grounded in the belief that you are already enough.

If you've been feeling overwhelmed, reactive, or like your husband, marriage, or life just isn't giving you enough, this episode is for you.

If your ready for your next step come join me in my Business Of Marriage program you can apply HERE.

What do you actually want?

Not what makes sense. Not what everyone around you wants. Not what you think you're supposed to want.

In this episode, I'm joined by Carly Moore for a conversation about identity, desire, personal responsibility, marriage, energy, nervous-system regulation, and becoming the woman you actually want to be.

After 22 years behind the chair, Carly had to untangle her identity as a hairstylist and learn how to see herself differently before she could create the next chapter of her life.

We talk about:

• Why your identity can keep you stuck in an old version of your life • Getting clear on what you really want • Taking responsibility instead of waiting for other people to change • What happens when you stop trying to "coach" your husband • Creating safety to dream bigger • Future-self work and making decisions from the woman you're becoming • Bringing FUN back into your marriage, family, and business • Why healing can sometimes look like remembering who you already are

This conversation is fun, honest, a little woo-woo, a little science-y, and filled with reminders that you are allowed to want more—and you don't need everyone around you to change before you start creating it.

Connect with Carly on Instagram: @carly.salon360education

What if the biggest shift in your marriage didn't require your husband to change?

In this conversation, Tyona Vallejo shares her journey from struggling in her own marriage to discovering the power of coaching, nervous system regulation, and radical responsibility. Together we explore how control is often our nervous system searching for safety—and how true connection begins when we learn to trust ourselves first.

In this episode we discuss:

• Why waiting for your spouse to change keeps you stuck
• How nervous system regulation transforms conflict
• The connection between perfectionism, control, and safety
• Learning to trust yourself before expecting trust from your relationship
• Creating compassion instead of reacting during difficult moments
• Why healthy marriages are built through connection, not control

If you've ever felt like you're doing everything, carrying the emotional load, or trying to "fix" your marriage, this episode will offer a refreshing perspective on what real partnership can look like.

Come and follow Tyona HERE she is so fun and puts out awesome content!

What if the answer isn't learning how to control life better—but learning how to trust yourself?

In this episode, I'm talking about the difference between being your own authority and depending on other people to tell you what to think, feel, or do. We'll unpack how both people-pleasing and controlling can come from the same place: not trusting ourselves.

I'll share three simple practices to start building self-trust: let it be weird, pause, and take aligned action.

Because the more you trust yourself, the less you need everyone else to change.

And if your ready to take this practice into play come and apply for my 6 month program www.brookesann.com/apply