"They said 'Yes'"

The Spoiler team are back for one last hurrah! At the invitation of Siren Radio, sadly in its final week, Paul, Rachael, Andy and Jonny have reunited for a special LIVE look back on their time on Spoiler. They recall their humble beginnings in a small Lincoln pub and the dizzying heights of rubbing elbows with the stars at awards ceremonies.

They discuss the subjects they’d most like to have covered and each member of the team picks their best and worst moments. Everyone also chooses a funniest moment, all of which coincidentally, though unsurprisingly, involve Paul!

Elsewhere, there’s time to revisit a couple of classic features from the archives, one of Paul’s legendary audiobook remixes and one final poem from Andy.

“Hello and welcome to the first ever Spoiler awards”

In this special lockdown edition of Spoiler, an isolated and delusional Andy fantasises that he is the host of a large scale awards ceremony, The Spoilers, celebrating the cream of the talent involved in the films, TV shows and novels we’ve discussed in our previous fifty-five episodes. Created in conjunction with a feature we ran on our Facebook and Twitter pages in which listeners were asked to vote on nominees in various categories, The Spoilers features big name guests (most of whom decline to make speeches), musical interludes, cornball comedy and a chance to look back at some of the discussions that have made our little show the award-nominated phenomenon that it is! With Rachael, Paul and Jonny all reluctantly dragged along for Andy’s egotistical evening in the spotlight, we hope you’ll join us too to toast the winners, commiserate with the losers and relive those moments from the first five years (how long?!!) of Spoiler that helped us build a new podcast and new friendships. Stay safe everyone.

“When you're in a battle against an enemy so much bigger, so much stronger than you, to find out you had a friend you never knew existed, that's the best feeling in the world.”

Fans of fun, come on in! In our series 8 finale, the Spoiler team are watching Matthew Warchus’s biographical comedy-drama ‘Pride’ and there’s not a doubt in anyone’s mind that the whole team are going to love it. A traditional Spoiler love-in becomes a full-on celebration of love as the team share the moments that made them cry, laugh and cheer. Paul enthuses about the soundtrack, leading Andy to share his research on whether King, Queen, Prince and Princess have ever all been in the top 40 at the same time. Politics inevitably rears its head, with Rachael delivering a passionate viewpoint on the miners strike, while Paul defends his right to watch films on his phone. Andy waxes lyrical about the beauty of buying someone a pint and everyone takes a moment out to remember the genius of Victoria Wood. After a series in which every episode has seen the team divided, Pride at last unites the group for an uplifting finale.

Elsewhere, Andy looks at the growing prominence of LGBTQ representation in children’s TV shows, including ‘Arthur’, ‘The Legend of Korra’ and ‘Steven Universe’.

This week’s scale: Did it fill you with pride or Could you not abide pride so much you cried and you thought it was snide no matter how hard you tried you’ve gone against the tide no matter how well you hide inside you’ve died, your brains have been fried all because you couldn’t be plied with Pride!

“What if everything that came from the past was influenced by the future.”

This week we’re heading to Winden for the time-travelling Netflix drama ‘Dark’ and not everyone is overly impressed with this cult phenomenon. While Rachael is a dedicated fan immersed in the twists and turns of the show’s convoluted family tree, Andy is completely baffled, bored and ultimately bedraggled by his attempts to wade through all ten episodes. And while Paul is on the fence once again, he is disappointed by the fact that the series can travel to three completely different eras and not find a scrap of humour in any of them. While Andy moans endlessly about how thin and uninteresting the characters are, Rachael fights a gallant but losing battle to convince the others that ‘Dark’ is worth the hype. Paul considers whether an electric chair is an appropriate parenting aid and Andy weighs up whether he’d rather face the gallows or season 2 of ‘Dark’. Rachael bemoans the quality of the English dub and extols the importance of setting the language options correctly, something which a bewildered Andy has trouble with. Paul wonders if he’d look good in Jonas’s yellow coat. And while not everyone loves ‘Dark’, the whole team can at least agree on the greatness of Cyndi Lauper.

Elsewhere, Andy and Jonny go on a quest through time to find a lost gem amongst time-travel movies of the past, including ‘Biggles: Adventure in Time’, ‘12:01pm’ and ‘Timescape’.

This week’s scale: Dunkel (Dark) or Leicht Bewölkt (Slightly Overcast)

“You don't have time to think up there. If you think, you're dead.”

This week we’re watching Tony Scott’s action drama ‘Top Gun’ and, while the whole team is in agreement that Tom Cruise is a classic movie star, not everyone thinks this is a classic movie. Surprisingly, it's Andy who enjoyed it the most, leaving Rachael and Paul agog at his enthusiasm. Rachael recalls her old headmaster’s love of the film, while Paul relates his bizarre experience at a Tom Cruise lookalike competition. Rachael is shocked at just how cheesy and sweaty ‘Top Gun’ is, while Andy sets aside his appreciation of the film to examine the significant shortcomings of the script, which he feels contains one of the most offensive lines in 80s cinema. The whole team wince at Maverick’s obnoxious toilet-invading persistence and a steamy scene of stomach-turning snogging, before debating the relative merits of Val Kilmer. Paul shares his phobia of hot air balloons and everybody gets the giggles at the mere mention of the word “bogeys”. And the team discuss their hopes and reservations about the upcoming sequel ‘Maverick’.

Elsewhere, Andy takes a look at the relationship between cinema and flight, from the airborne derring-do of ‘Wings’ to the famous flying bicycles of ‘E.T.’

This week’s scale: Top Gun or Bottom Burp

“Mr Holmes, they were the footprints of a gigantic hound!”

This week we’re reading Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes mystery ‘The Hound of the Baskervilles’ and in a strange twist of events Rachael arrives underprepared while Paul has conducted extensive research! Rachael confesses that she left it until the last minute to read the book but attributes her mixed reaction to years of watching film and TV adaptations of this story which have drained away the element of surprise. Andy, a fan of the Sherlock Holmes stories, explains why a mystery with such a disappointing ending still stands out among Conan Doyle’s canon and Paul coerces everyone into admitting that Sherlock Holmes is a bit of a git. Andy recreates his experience of visiting 221B Baker Street and what a disappointment it was meeting the “real” Dr. Watson, while Rachael wonders whether a demon dog is any more cause for “brown trousers time” than a regular dog that still goes for your throat. And just what is a Grimpen Mire? Paul, of all people, has looked it up!

Elsewhere, Rachael looks at some of literature’s greatest haunted houses, including ‘Jane Eyre’s Thornfield Hall, ‘The Woman in Black’s Eel Marsh House and Edgar Allan Poe’s House of Usher.

This week’s scale: As dapper as a deerstalker or As stinky as a pipe filled with shag tobacco that’s been left to rot in the Grimpen Mire

“It goes on forever, six bloody minutes!”

This week we’re watching Bryan Singer and Dexter Fletcher’s Queen biopic ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. Not every member of the Spoiler team is a Queen fan and not everyone is a fan of this film either. While Rachael knows she’s being manipulated by the film but is happy to enjoy the experience, Andy unleashes a tirade against bad writing, overrated acting and cheap tactics. Paul, meanwhile, is on the fence but a wobblier fence that usual, with a dodgy recreation of Live Aid threatening to knock him off his splintered seat. The team finally find themselves in perfect harmony when they bond over some amazing isolated vocal tracks of Freddie Mercury and David Bowie, Rachael discusses the positive effect the film had on her nephew and Andy defends the film against accusations of homophobia. And, of course, we talk about those teeth!

Elsewhere, Paul takes a look back at Live Aid; the highs, the lows and the lasting legacy of the event.

This week’s scale: Aaaaaayyyyyyy-ooooooooohhhh or Oooooooohhh-nooooooooo

“The sun’s in my heart and I’m ready for love”

The Spoiler team are back for series 8 and what better way to celebrate our 50th episode than by finally acknowledging the elephant in the recording studio that’s been hanging over Paul since series 1; Stanley Donen and Gene Kelly’s definitive film musical ‘Singin’ in the Rain’. It’s no secret that Andy and Rachael both adore this eternal classic but a self-sabotaging Paul is having none of it, putting off watching it until the first day back at work after the Christmas holidays and subsequently dismissing everything as annoying, bizarre and too yellow. That said, he just can’t get the ‘Good Morning’ song out of his head! Andy tells the story of his previous, magical viewing of the film on the big screen and Rachael warns of the dangers of trying to recreate the dance moves in real life. While everyone agrees that the central romance completely lacks chemistry, a grumpy Paul fails to get anyone else to say a bad word about Donald O’Connor’s Cosmo or the famous title routine, which he thinks Morecambe and Wise did better. And Andy gives Paul an intensive grilling with a specially-prepared set of notes designed to highlight the contradictions in our beloved host.

Elsewhere, Andy takes an in-depth look at a comparatively overlooked Hollywood musical, Mervyn LeRoy and Busby Berkley’s 1933 classic ‘Gold Diggers of 1933’.

This episode of Spoiler is brought to you by the letter C.

This week’s scale: Singin’ in the Rain or a wet Wednesday night in Wigan

“We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away.”

It’s the end of series 7 and the Spoiler team have finally got round to a Steven Spielberg film. So which classic have we gone for? ‘Jaws’? ‘Jurassic Park’? ‘Schindler’s List’ perhaps? No, we’ve opted for probably the most reviled film in this great director’s canon; the 2008 Indiana Jones revival ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’. With the intention of giving this fan-lambasted underdog a fair hearing, the team discover much to enjoy in the extremely-flawed but lively romp including a charisma-oozing Harrison Ford, the return of Karen Allen to our screens, a would-be-iconic reintroduction of the beloved central character and some fun, exciting action scenes. Hell, they even loved the ants! But don’t despair ‘...Crystal Skull’ haters, there’s plenty of downsides to discuss including easily-deletable characters, ropey CGI, cliched plot developments, awful accents and, of course, that lead-lined refrigerator. Also discussed is the ongoing debate on whether this film is better or worse than ‘Temple of Doom’, how Rachael was in love with practically every cast member from the original trilogy and why the blazes Paul has still not seen ‘...Last Crusade’. And just what is The ‘Ratatouille’ effect? Andy explains.

Elsewhere, Andy becomes a treasure hunter himself as he goes searching for hidden Easter Eggs in vinyl albums by The Beatles, the Monty Python team and ELO.

This week’s scale: A £500 bottle of Cristal from Fortnum and Mason or a bottle of Blue Nun from the corner shop

“Is it not better some things remain hidden from our minds?”

This week, against Paul’s express wishes, the Spoiler team have accepted a listener request and are reading Kazuo Ishiguro’s philosophical fantasy novel ‘The Buried Giant’. This dense meditation on collective memory pretty much splits the team three ways, with professed fantasy fan Rachael wishing for more fantastical elements and Andy, who is ambivalent at best about the fantasy genre, pleased to find the emphasis more on themes and ideas than on ogres and pixies. Paul, meanwhile, is perplexed and frustrated by the slow pace, the lack of action and the fact that everyone is so unnecessarily courteous. It doesn’t help that certain elements of the book also remind him of Chris de Burgh! Regardless of their opinions on the text itself, the team use it as a jumping-off point for interesting discussions on our reaction as human beings to concepts and events that we struggle to process. And everyone agrees that the numerous critical comparisons with ‘Game of Thrones’ are as lazy as DJs who play The Bangles ‘Manic Monday’ on a Monday morning.

Elsewhere, Rachael takes a sublimely uplifting look at Kazuo Ishiguro’s lesser-known stint as a jazz lyricist, with plenty of lovely musical interludes to enjoy.

This week’s scale: A giant in the world of fiction or a book that should be buried deep, deep in the ground