Why do foster and adopted children so often assume everything is their fault? For children with developmental trauma, self-blame can become more than a thought—it can become a core belief.

A parent is upset, a friend acts differently, someone reschedules, a teacher corrects them…and their brain immediately fills in the blank: It must be because of me.

In this episode, I’m talking about what I call the blame reflex—our very human tendency to assign fault when something goes wrong. Blame can actually make us feel safer because if we can figure out why something happened, we can convince ourselves we can prevent it from happening again. But children who have experienced abuse, neglect, disrupted attachment, foster care, or other developmental trauma often turn that blame inward.

We’ll explore:

We’re helping them learn that sometimes they make mistakes, sometimes other people make mistakes, sometimes nobody made a mistake—and sometimes we simply don’t know why something happened. That ability to sit with uncertainty without automatically deciding “It was because of me” can be incredibly powerful for a child who has spent their life believing they are the problem.

Learn more about Stable Moments and our trauma-informed mentorship model: https://www.stablemoments.com Interested in doing your own deeper work around old stories, wounds, and patterns? Learn more about Heal Yourself, Heal the World: https://www.stablemoments.com/heal

Why would a child reject the very connection they desperately need?

In this episode of the Stable Moments Podcast, Rebecca Britt explores what she calls the Belonging Wound—a deep belief many children develop after experiencing abuse, neglect, foster care, adoption, or developmental trauma.

When a child believes they don't belong, that wound can show up in surprising ways. One child may push everyone away. Another may become a people pleaser. Some act like they know everything, while others become perfectionists or completely change their personalities to fit in.

These behaviors may look different, but they often come from the same core belief: "I don't belong."

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What the belonging wound is
• The difference between belonging and fitting in
• Why children reject connection before they can be rejected
• Why some kids become know-it-alls, people pleasers, perfectionists, or chameleons
• Practical trauma-informed responses for each presentation
• How consistent relationships help children heal developmental trauma

Whether you're a foster parent, adoptive parent, mentor, teacher, therapist, CASA volunteer, or child welfare professional, this episode will help you see behavior through the lens of trauma and belonging.

▶ Learn how to launch a Stable Moments mentorship program in your community: https://www.stablemoments.com/webinar

Stable Moments is a trauma-informed mentorship model pairing one caring adult with one child for one hour each week to build life skills, healthy relationships, and long-term resilience. Subscribe for weekly conversations about developmental trauma, foster care, adoption, mentorship, and practical strategies for helping children heal. #DevelopmentalTrauma #FosterCare #Adoption #TraumaInformed #ChildDevelopment #Mentorship #StableMoments

Heal Yourself Heal the World Course: https://stablemoments.com/heal

Many children who have experienced foster care, adoption, abuse, neglect, or developmental trauma carry complicated relationships with their memories. Some memories are painful.

Others are joyful but feel confusing because they are connected to people or places that others have labeled as "bad."

As caring adults, mentors, foster parents, teachers, and caregivers, we often avoid talking about a child's past because we're afraid of triggering them. But what if honoring positive memories is actually part of healing?

In this episode of the Stable Moments Podcast, I explore why memories matter for children with developmental trauma and share one of our favorite trauma-informed mentorship activities: the Memory Rock Activity.

You'll learn:
• Why foster and adopted children often struggle to organize and make sense of memories
• How positive memories support emotional regulation and self-worth
• Why children need permission to honor the good moments from difficult chapters of life
• How to use the Memory Rock Activity to create connection, grounding, and resilience
• Ways mentors, foster parents, and caregivers can have meaningful conversations without acting as therapists Whether you're a mentor, foster parent, adoptive parent, educator, social worker, or simply someone who wants to make a difference in a child's life, this episode offers practical tools you can use immediately.

🎴 Meaningful Moments Cards: https://stablemoments.com/store
🌐 Learn more about Stable Moments: https://stablemoments.com
 #FosterCare #TraumaInformed #DevelopmentalTrauma #TraumaInformedMentoring #FosterYouth #Adoption #ChildDevelopment #Mentorship #TraumaResponsive #FosterParenting #SocialWork #YouthMentoring #StableMoments #ChildhoodTrauma #EmotionalAwareness

What if mentorship isn’t about getting it right… but about staying responsive? In this episode of the Stable Moments Podcast, we explore what it really means to be trauma responsive in mentorship and why flexibility, curiosity, and connection matter more than perfect planning.

Many mentors feel pressure to create the “perfect” session, but children who have experienced foster care, adoption, abuse, neglect, or developmental trauma don’t need perfect adults. They need safe, connected relationships with adults who can stay calm, open, and responsive when things don’t go according to plan.

In this episode, we discuss:

What trauma-responsive mentorship actually means
Why responsive relationships help children heal
Real mentorship scenarios and examples
How to stay flexible during difficult moments
Why confidence comes from responsiveness, not perfection
How healthy relationships are built through curiosity and connection
Whether you’re a mentor, foster parent, educator, church leader, or community organization, this episode will help you better understand how to support children impacted by trauma through relationship-centered mentorship.

👉 Learn more about the Stable Moments model, watch our FREE webinar: https://www.stablemoments.com/webinar

#StableMoments #TraumaInformed #Mentorship #FosterCare #Adoption #TraumaResponsive

Worried about saying the wrong thing to a child who has experienced trauma? You’re not alone. One of the biggest reasons people hesitate to become mentors or work with foster and adopted youth is the fear of messing up. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to be perfect to make a difference. In this episode, we talk about the power of repair in trauma-informed mentorship — what it is, why it matters, and how it can actually strengthen your relationship with a child.

Children who have experienced abuse, neglect, or unstable relationships often internalize negative experiences and believe they are at fault. Repair helps shift that belief and teaches them that relationships can be safe, consistent, and forgiving.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

What “repair” means in trauma-informed care
Why perfection isn’t the goal in mentorship
How to respond when you say the wrong thing
Real examples of repair with kids
How repair builds trust, resilience, and connection
Whether you’re a mentor, foster parent, educator, or simply someone who wants to support children from hard places, this episode will give you a practical, powerful tool you can use right away.

👉 Learn more about Stable Moments: https://stablemoments.com/webinar
#StableMoments #TraumaInformed #Mentorship #FosterCare #Adoption #ChildDevelopment #HealingRelationships

Our Stable Moments color-coded activities may look simple on the surface, but they are intentionally designed to build specific life skills in kids who have experienced unstable beginnings.

In this episode, I break down one of our most powerful activities: Build a Bridge. This trauma-informed mentorship activity helps foster and adopted youth develop: 🟠 Independence 🔵 Responsibility 🟢 Self-Worth

We’ll walk through:

• The trauma lens behind why some kids shut down after failure
• How to guide problem-solving without fixing it for them
• How this activity strengthens resilience and confidence
• How you can start small on a tabletop and expand to bigger bridge challenges across a room

At Stable Moments, our color-coded activities are intentionally matched to each child’s individualized Plan of Care to target the specific life skills they need to strengthen. This isn’t just an engineering challenge. It’s developmental repair.

👉 Want to launch a Stable Moments program in your school, church, or community organization? Learn more about becoming a certified Stable Moments location here: https://www.stablemoments.com #StableMoments #TraumaInformed #FosterCare #Mentorship #SEL #ResilienceBuilding

Many children who have experienced foster care, adoption, abuse, neglect, or abandonment haven’t had the opportunity to discover who they are or what they’re good at. Instead of exploring interests and strengths, they learned how to survive — often by giving the “right” answer rather than the true one.

In this episode, we talk about why developing a sense of self is so important for children with developmental trauma and how mentors can support strength-building in safe, relational ways. We share practical strategies mentors can use in sessions, including Stable Moments’ All About Me activity, and why noticing and naming a child’s strengths in real time can be life-changing.

Whether you’re a mentor, foster parent, or professional supporting children in care, this conversation will help you better understand how identity, confidence, and self-worth develop through consistent, trauma-informed relationships.

Topics covered include:

#StableMoments #TraumaInformed #Mentorship #FosterCare #Adoption #ChildDevelopment #HealingRelationships

Some of the most powerful moments in a Stable Moments session happen between the activities — in the greeting, the transition, and the quiet spaces where connection grows.

💜 In this episode, Rebecca shares 10 simple trauma-informed practices — called Mini Moments — that mentors can use to build trust, support regulation, and strengthen key life skills with kids who have experienced trauma.

These practical tools don’t require supplies or planning, just presence and intention. Whether you’re a mentor, educator, or trauma-informed professional, you’ll leave with fresh ways to bring calm, connection, and confidence into every session. 🌱 ✨

Watch to learn:

💜 Read the full blog here

Get Your Trauma-Informed Responses cheat sheet: https://www.stablemoments.com/responses

#StableMoments #TraumaInformed #Mentorship #FosterCare #MiniMoments #YouthDevelopment #TraumaInformedCare

🎵 Music + Mentorship = Magic 🎵

In this episode, we sit down with Crystal Luk-Worrall, a London-based music therapist and EMDR practitioner, to explore how music can support children in foster care and adoption through trauma-informed mentorship.

Crystal shares why music matters, how it helps regulate the body and emotions, and five simple ways mentors can use music to build trust, connection, and healing. From creating playlists to drumming, humming, and turning feelings into music, these strategies give mentors practical tools they can use right away.

👉 Whether you’re a mentor, foster parent, or professional supporting children who have experienced developmental trauma, this conversation will show you how music can open doors where words may not.

📌 Topics Covered:

Why music supports trauma-informed mentorship
How music regulates the body and nervous system
Practical ways mentors can use music with children in care
Building trust and emotional safety through creativity

Crystal's Website: www.clapandtoot.com
Mentors can download a free guide of integrating creativity in their work here: https://www.clapandtoot.com/guidetocreativepractice 
 #StableMoments #TraumaInformed #Mentorship #FosterCare #Adoption #MusicTherapy

When I first became a mandated reporter, I thought it was simple: if a child disclosed abuse or neglect, I’d pick up the phone and call it in. But working with kids in foster care taught me that reporting isn’t always black and white. Sometimes disclosures are about survival, longing for home, wanting to leave a placement, or even seeking attention. In this episode of the Stable Moments Podcast, I share what it really means to be a mandated reporter when working with children who’ve experienced early developmental trauma.

We’ll cover:

Whether you’re a mentor, teacher, social worker, healthcare provider, or volunteer, this episode will help you navigate mandated reporting with empathy, clarity, and confidence.

👉 Watch until the end for practical steps you can take when a child shares sensitive information with you. 🌐 Learn more about the Stable Moments trauma-informed mentorship program and watch our free webinar: https://stablemoments.com/webinar

📌 Subscribe for more conversations on foster care, child welfare, and trauma-informed mentorship.  #StableMoments #MandatedReporter #TraumaInformed #FosterCare #ChildWelfare #Mentorship