Startup Parent

#022 —Core Value #10 — Culture change starts with stories.

Stories are the first part of culture change. In order to create a new future, we have to tell the truth. Part of the process is unearthing all of the stories of what has already happened, and what is currently happening.

For Startup Pregnant in particular, so much of the stories of motherhood and parenting are hidden or silenced, not public. To change the narrative of motherhood, we need to start by first telling the stories of what motherhood looks like, from a place of truth, honesty, and compassion. 

The same is true for the entrepreneurship landscape. To be an entrepreneur can be lonely, frightening, and difficult. It can also be exhilarating, wonderful, and amazing. And again: it can be ordinary, steady, routine. The stories we tell will encompass all of these experiences.

How do we begin to make change? Through storytelling.

Empathy is the ability to understand what you can’t ever experience. We begin to experience the lives of others through the power of shared language and storytelling. In our work as peers and humans, we’re being called to greater levels of empathy— in both the workplace as well as in our social and family structures.

Your voice matters because it’s in a thousand voices that we change the culture.

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/022 

Questions of this episode: What stories have you held true in your life? Which ones have changed over time? When in your life have you woken up and realized that a story that you believed in was no longer true for you? Talk to us about a time when your story changed, or when your expectation changed.

Overall: Reflecting on all 10 core values: What have you learned through this exercise of sharing our core values? What principles have been true for you? Do you have your own core values?

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#021 — Core Value #9 — Most of us have a sixth gear we don’t know about.

We’re all capable of far more than we can imagine.

At Startup Pregnant, we believe in the power of human potential, both individual and collective. Parenting often teaches us that we have a previously-unknown-to-us “fifth gear,” and then when faced with a challenge, maybe even a sixth gear we can tap into. I first heard of this phrase from Mathias Jakobsen when we were chatting about the difficulties and challenges—and transformations—of parenting.

Watching humans give birth is one of the most extraordinarily humbling and simultaneously awe-inspiring feats of strength and power and courage. We also see this in the startup landscape, when people dig in, find their resolve and resilience, and make things happen despite all odds.

But there’s an important note to this core value: this does not mean that people are operating at full-tilt, 150%, all-the-time, driving themselves to the ground. The idea of “hustle” as an always-on phenomenon is not what we’re suggesting. Within the rhythm of life, there are times when you press the pedal down and accelerate to use your sixth gear. And there are times of rest.

Listen in for the conversation about this core value: Most people have a sixth gear that they don’t know about.

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/021

10x10 CONTEST: THE QUESTION

From November 13th — November 30th, 2017, we're having a contest on www.startuppregnant.com/thanksgiving-contest! Head to our website to read the rules and prizes, be sure to listen in and leave a comment on every episode released during these two weeks. Head to the show notes listed above to be a part of the contest by leaving a comment on this episode with the question below. Ends November 30th, 2017.  

Questions of this episode: When have you tapped into your own sixth gear? How does it feel to know that you might have one? Leave a comment with your responses on our blog over at Startup Pregnant.

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:   

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#020 — Core Value #8: Feelings Matter.

Carl Jung says that the paradox is one of our most valuable spiritual possessions. So it makes sense that this episode is both difficult and simple—the paradox of life, as always.

Our emotional landscapes, who we are inside, and all of our feelings — they matter.

But in the business culture and work life today, feelings are often ignored, undervalued, or actively suppressed.

Here at Startup Pregnant, we believe in the call for a greater emotional dexterity. We believe that it’s important for each of us to experience our emotions. Not just experience them, but feel them, name them, and work with the entire range of emotions that we’re given. To us, this means that you’re allowed to be your whole self. All of you is welcome here.

Does this mean we act on every emotion? Not necessarily. But we feel them first, because feelings are important, and they have a lot to teach us.  

And in the world of business, which boasts of companies that solve customer pain points for a living, wouldn’t it make sense to start to tap into this vital range of understanding?

Listen in for the conversation about this core value: Feelings Matter.

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/020

10x10 CONTEST: THE QUESTION

From November 13th — November 30th, 2017, we're having a contest on www.startuppregnant.com/thanksgiving-contest! Head to our website to read the rules and prizes, be sure to listen in and leave a comment on every episode released during these two weeks. Head to the show notes listed above to be a part of the contest by leaving a comment on this episode with the question below. Ends November 30th, 2017.  

Questions of this episode: How do you access your own emotions and feelings? What works have you not (ever) used to describe your emotions and feelings? And what is your response to the idea that feelings matter?

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:   

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#019 — Core Value #7: You don’t have to do things the way they’ve always been done.

And startups are one of the best places to imagine new futures.

It’s okay to break things, to rebuild things, and to do things differently than the way that they’ve always been done.

Startups and Pregnancy have a lot in common because they are both creators of new things—ideas, businesses, structures, life—and to do so, they harness a huge range of power. They require both creation and destruction.

Sometimes, things fall apart. Things break. And things are destroyed. Part of the nature of creation, of making new things, is that through the act of birth, you are creating both life and death.

While the pop culture phenomenon in Silicon Valley likes to glamorize disruption, making it sound glib and peaceful (“We’re going to be the Uber for burritos and disrupt the food industry,”), true destruction can wreak havoc. We’ve seen it in the onset of digital publishing, the contraction of the magazine industry, upending the cab industry, and there’s more coming in the future. These each have far-reaching creative and destructive aspects to them.

And on the pregnancy side, inviting a new human into your life is inviting chaos into your world. You start with yourself, or your family unit, or the way your partnership looks, and then you add an entirely new human into it, and it’s not just the child that’s born, it’s the mother, the father, the parents, the grandparents, the siblings — everything changes. Inviting a child into your life is disruptive.

The potential here is the idea that you don’t have to do things the way that they’ve always been done.

We have the power to do things differently than they’ve been done before.

You don’t have to do things the way they’ve always been done before.

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/019

Questions of this episode: What do you think about doing things they’ve always been done, versus doing them in a new way? If you had the power to one thing differently, what would you change?

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:   

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#018 — Core Value #6: What work looks like today is broken.

The current version of work—the idea that we work in offices, that we work from 9 to 5, that we’re continuously productive throughout the day, at equal measures—there is overwhelming evidence that this isn’t true. Research shows that we aren’t effective in an 8-hour workday.

We’re seeing the results of a broken workplace with the amount of people dropping out, the lack of diversity in the workplace, and more. Work is especially broken for women. And when we layer in parenting, and we try to make all of it fit together, within the paradigm that currently exists, well, what we see is that across the board, it doesn’t fully work.

In this core value, we take the stance that what work looks like today can be wildly improved on. We believe that the future of work can be far better than what we see today.

So, in this project, as part of the work of Startup Pregnant, we’re asking:  

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/018

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Episode #002 on Work Flexibility with Annie Dean

10x10 CONTEST: THE QUESTION

From November 13th — November 30th, 2017, we're having a contest on www.startuppregnant.com/thanksgiving-contest! Head to our website to read the rules and prizes, be sure to listen in and leave a comment on every episode released during these two weeks. Head to the show notes listed above to be a part of the contest by leaving a comment. Ends November 30th, 2017.  

Questions of this episode: What should work look like, and what will look like? More specifically: what does it mean to have your work, well, work, for you? What does a world of work look like in your vision?

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:   

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#018 — [10x10] Core Value #6: What work looks like today is broken.

The current version of work—the idea that we work in offices, that we work from 9 to 5, that we’re continuously productive throughout the day, at equal measures—there is overwhelming evidence that this isn’t true. Research shows that we aren’t effective in an 8-hour workday.

We’re seeing the results of a broken workplace with the amount of people dropping out, the lack of diversity in the workplace, and more. Work is especially broken for women. And when we layer in parenting, and we try to make all of it fit together, within the paradigm that currently exists, well, what we see is that across the board, it doesn’t fully work.

In this core value, we take the stance that what work looks like today can be wildly improved on. We believe that the future of work can be far better than what we see today.

So, in this project, as part of the work of Startup Pregnant, we’re asking:  

1. Why is work so broken?
2. What does the future of work look like?

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/018

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Episode #002 on Work Flexibility with Annie Dean

10x10 CONTEST: THE QUESTION

From November 13th — November 30th, 2017, we're having a contest on www.startuppregnant.com/thanksgiving-contest! Head to our website to read the rules and prizes, be sure to listen in and leave a comment on every episode released during these two weeks. Head to the show notes listed above to be a part of the contest by leaving a comment. Ends November 30th, 2017.  

Questions of this episode: What should work look like, and what will look like? More specifically: what does it mean to have your work, well, work, for you? What does a world of work look like in your vision?

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:   

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Startup Pregnant on Facebook 

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#017 — Core Value #5: Plans are important. And things rarely go according to plan.

A wise doula told me that in preparing for birth, she encourages women to consider the range of birth experiences and possibilities. In this way, designating “preferences” instead of a “plan,” we would be able to plan for something that was, effectively, unplannable.

Babies are the ultimate plan-changers! Inviting a human into your life is inviting chaos in. They have their own ideas and what happens is often different than what we planned or expected. 

In life, making plans is great. We love plans and goals and ideas and visions. And we also know that more often than not, things don’t always go according to plan. So we act in the present, with the information we have, staying resilient and agile, understanding that the process is as important as the outcome. The ability to show up and be messy with it, as things are changing, is a skill we value.

But we also have to know that we don’t have control over everything.

There’s no right or perfect time to start the business, or to have kids. If you wait for the perfect moment, you’re just waiting.

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/017

Questions of this episode: When, in your life, have you had something not go according to plan, and what happened instead?

How does making plans in the face of uncertainty make you feel? When do your plans go better than your wildest dreams? When have things not gone according to plan, and change you because of it?

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:   

Startup Pregnant 

Startup Pregnant on Facebook 

Startup Pregnant on Twitter 

Sponsor the Podcast  

#017 — [10x10] Core Value #5: Plans are important. And things rarely go according to plan.

A wise doula told me that in preparing for birth, she encourages women to consider the range of birth experiences and possibilities. In this way, designating “preferences” instead of a “plan,” we would be able to plan for something that was, effectively, unplannable.

Babies are the ultimate plan-changers! Inviting a human into your life is inviting chaos in. They have their own ideas and what happens is often different than what we planned or expected. 

In life, making plans is great. We love plans and goals and ideas and visions. And we also know that more often than not, things don’t always go according to plan. So we act in the present, with the information we have, staying resilient and agile, understanding that the process is as important as the outcome. The ability to show up and be messy with it, as things are changing, is a skill we value.

But we also have to know that we don’t have control over everything.

There’s no right or perfect time to start the business, or to have kids. If you wait for the perfect moment, you’re just waiting.

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/017

10x10 CONTEST: THE QUESTION

From November 13th — November 30th, 2017, we're having a contest on www.startuppregnant.com/thanksgiving-contest! Head to our website to read the rules and prizes, be sure to listen in and leave a comment on every episode released during these two weeks. Head to the show notes listed above to be a part of the contest by leaving a comment. Ends November 30th, 2017.  

Questions of this episode: When, in your life, have you had something not go according to plan, and what happened instead?

How does making plans in the face of uncertainty make you feel? When do your plans go better than your wildest dreams? When have things not gone according to plan, and change you because of it?

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:   

Startup Pregnant 

Startup Pregnant on Facebook 

Startup Pregnant on Twitter 

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#016 — Core Value #4: Life is not all hard labor, and it’s not an all-out hustle sprint.

In pregnancy, there are distinct phases and changes, with deep periods of fatigue, moments of sickness, periods of high energy and excitement, and everything in between. When the days come when you’re set to deliver, the periods of labor and delivery represent an intense period of work for the mother birthing the child; and immediately afterwards, there’s a need for intense rest and recovery and adaptation to a new normal. The cycles and seasons of life come in rhythms and there isn’t one mode to dominate all of them.

Therefore, at Startup Pregnant, we don’t belief in the perpetual chase of “hustling harder.” There are certainly times for intense work! But not ALL the time as the default paradigm. Instead, we champion matching your energy and season with the work ahead of you, experimenting with new ways of showing up in parenting and work, and in bringing ideas of flexibility to the forefront of the conversation of what work can look like.

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/016

Questions of this episode: What does it mean to hear this idea that we don’t have to hustle all the time? And when you reflect on your own life and work culture, what would you say your “dial” is set to? Where are you dialed in to, and what is the expectation of a baseline?

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:   

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#015 — [10x10] Core Value #3. In today’s episode, we unpack Core Value: #3: Work-life balance is a myth. There is fit and there is tension.

The strive towards some sort of perfect work/life balance is a myth and a fruitless exercise. Life is always changing, and our goals—many of them—are often in tension with each other. That tension often creates interesting results; for example, many women have shared that they adore their businesses and work lives, and their families have created a hard edge and new set of boundaries in how they approach work. Instead of some idealized “balance,” we strive to find the right fit for us as individuals, in this moment, in this season.

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/015

10x10 CONTEST: THE QUESTION

From November 13th — November 30th, 2017, we're having a contest on www.startuppregnant.com/thanksgiving-contest! Head to our website to read the rules and prizes, be sure to listen in and leave a comment on every episode released during these two weeks. Head to the show notes listed above to be a part of the contest by leaving a comment. Ends November 30th, 2017.  

Questions of this episode: When you let go of the need to achieve a perfect set of balance, what does that free you up to do instead? How do you feel about the term work-life balance? Is it something you laugh at, struggle with, or want? Why or why not? 

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Cal Newport’s Deep Work

Susan Cain’s Quiet

Fallacy of the Open Office

The Work Revolution

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:   

Startup Pregnant 

Startup Pregnant on Facebook 

Startup Pregnant on Twitter 

Sponsor the Podcast