Startup Parent

#014 — [10x10] Core Value #2. In this special mini-series, we’re looking at the 10 Core Values of the Startup Pregnant Philosophy. These are the values that underscore everything we do, how we do it, and even how we design our interviews!

In today’s episode, we unpack Core Value: #2: There is deep power in community and collaboration.

By and large, we aren’t meant to go it alone. The myth of and belief in individualism in Western society is pervasive, yet at Startup Pregnant, we believe we are meant to live, work, raise families and grow businesses together.

We aren’t born to live alone, and we’re not meant to parent alone, either. We are a social and communal species. For us, this translates across our startup, business, parenting, and pregnancy lives — and how we build and embrace communities of support across all of these experiences. We need teams, we need diverse communities, and especially at the beginning of adventures in entrepreneurship and parenting, we need lots and lots of support.

There’s an outsized burden on parents, and mothers, to try to do it all or somehow be everything to everyone. It’s an impossible goal, and something that sets us up for failure.

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/014.

10x10 CONTEST: THE QUESTION

From November 13th — November 30th, 2017, we're having a contest on www.startuppregnant.com/thanksgiving-contest! Head to our website to read the rules and prizes, be sure to listen in and leave a comment on every episode released during these two weeks. Head to the show notes listed above to be a part of the contest by leaving a comment! Ends November 30th, 2017.  

Question of this episode: What’s one way in which you’re trying to do it all yourself, and is there a way to ask for more help? How can you build in and prioritize discomfort in your life in the short-term in exchange for more long-term happiness?

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

On Being

Becoming Wise by Krista Tippett

Curiosity Podcast: How The Best Marriages Work

The New Better Off, by Courtney Martin

Happy Documentary

Ellen Langer from Harvard

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:   

Startup Pregnant 

Startup Pregnant on Facebook 

Startup Pregnant on Twitter 

#013 — Core Value #1. In this special mini-series, we’re looking at the 10 Core Values of the Startup Pregnant Philosophy. These are the values that underscore everything we do, how we do it, and even how we design our interviews! Over the next ten days, we’ll be releasing short 10-minute episodes looking at each of the core values of our philosophy.

In today’s episode, we unpack the first Core Value: #1: “We speak first using the words ‘in my experience.’

Listen in to hear why these three words are critical for any conversation, and why we can’t strive for “one perfect woman” archetype to be. There are multiple stories of what it looks like to be a parent and to be an entrepreneur, and there isn’t one size that fits everyone. The first principle or philosophy guides us and reminds us of this.  

In this vein, we take a generous stance. What works for one situation might not work for all situations. It can be a challenge in our human ways of understanding to operate from this place of “multiple perspectives.” Cognitive dissonance works against us, telling us that our past decisions must be ‘right’ and to defend against other choices that people make as ‘wrong,’ if they violate what we would have chosen. The wisdom calling is to see how different decisions can be right for people at different times. 

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/013. 

10x10 CONTEST:

From November 13th — November 30th, 2017, we're having a contest on www.startuppregnant.com/thanksgiving-contest! Head to our website to read the rules and prizes, be sure to listen in and leave a comment on every episode released during these two weeks. Head to the show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/013 to be a part of the contest by leaving a comment! Ends November 30th, 2017.  

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:   

Startup Pregnant 

Startup Pregnant on Facebook 

Startup Pregnant on Twitter 

Sponsor the Podcas

But is it really best to swoop in and save the day every time our kiddos face a challenging situation? Or are we missing an opportunity to teach them patience as well as the related skills of coping with frustration and delayed gratification? Are we missing an opportunity to teach ourselves? 

In Bringing Up Bébé, author Pamela Druckerman explores the idea of ‘the pause,’ taking a moment to exhale fully and breathe a full cycle of breath before moving forward. Today on this mini-episode of the podcast, I explore the practical applications of this concept, sharing how it can be applied not just to parenting, but also our working lives. 

I describe specific scenarios in which implementing ‘the pause’ has helped me practice patience, from the playground with my child to that moment just before hitting ‘send’ on an impulsive email response. I talk honestly about how I am working to incorporate a pause in my morning routine—with the goal of curbing my impulse to turn immediately to social media and email.  

‘The pause’ doesn’t have to revolutionize your approach to parenting or work, but the simple practice of taking a moment to breathe can help you embrace a little calmness and make conscious decisions. Listen in and consider how you might implement the idea of ‘the pause’ in your own life.  

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at www.startuppregnant.com/012. 

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER:   

Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: Taskerly! They’re a virtual assistant company that helps busy parents and entrepreneurs get more done at work by doing the things you can outsource of don’t have time for. Check them out at www.taskerly.co and mention the Startup Pregnant Podcast to get 10% off of your first three months working with them. 

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors 

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 

Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman  

Bébé Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman 

The Tim Ferriss Show 

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:   

Startup Pregnant 

Startup Pregnant on Facebook 

Startup Pregnant on Twitter 

#011 — How often do you stop and really tune into your body, taking time to recognize what you are feeling and how it is impacting you physically? 

What if we allowed ourselves radical honesty without judgement? What if we gave ourselves the space to tell the truth about what we are feeling—without having to do something about it right this minute? What if we took advantage of this feminine tool and learned to trust what our bodies are telling us?  

Molly Mahar was an overachiever who ‘did what she was supposed to.’ After earning her BS in Hotel Administration from Cornell, Molly spent five years in the industry and eventually landed a coveted job on the sales team of a sexy boutique hotel in Seattle. Then she had a quarter-life crisis and quit her job to travel the world with her now-husband Ken, figuring out what she was meant to do.  

Molly started the Stratejoy blog in 2009 because she needed it. She needed a place to talk about ambitious dreams, fears that she didn’t want to admit to, and how she feels about everything—from work to sex to money to motherhood. Now Molly has built a thriving community where women can be themselves without judgement and support each other in the pursuit of authentically joyous lives. 

Today, Molly shares the Stratejoy journey, from inception to its current exponential growth. I ask her about the stories women aren’t telling and her ‘word of the year’ practice. Listen in as Molly reveals how exploring the word PLEASURE impacted her relationship with her husband and how she incorporates stillness into her busy life as a busy entrepreneur and mother. 

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at www.startuppregnant.com/011. 

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER:   

Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: Aeroflow Breastpumps. They are dedicated to making the hassle of getting your breast pump a little bit easier—actually, a lot easier! Head to www.aeroflowbreastpumps.com/startup to have them help you qualify for a free breast pump through insurance. 

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors 

LEARN MORE ABOUT MOLLY MAHAR:  

Molly Mahar is the founder and CEO of Stratejoy, a vibrant training and coaching company aimed at empowering women to practice joy in a messy world. She is passionate about building a thriving community that helps women find joy in the tiny moments, go after the

#010 — Motherhood transforms you. There is no ‘bouncing back’ to your previous life. Being a mom requires that you ‘transform forward,’ creating a new, better version of yourself. And the feminine qualities essential to motherhood—loving, caring, nurturing, listening—also happen to be the qualities that the world is most yearning for in business, politics and the social sphere. 

Stephanie Jhala enjoyed a healthy, medically uneventful pregnancy. But at the very end of the planned home birth, something went wrong. Her baby was not breathing. After a transition to the hospital, Steph’s newborn daughter was on put on life support in the NICU, consigned to a cooling sack and connected to countless tubes. Doctors predicted her death.  

But Stephanie knew instinctively that her daughter would be fine. And she was right. Her daughter improved by leaps and bounds, and is now a thriving, feisty 10-month-old. How did Steph access that intuition? How does she continue to trust and cultivate her mind-body connection on a daily basis? And how is she using the tools she learned in her business as a leadership consultant to become a leader in motherhood? 

Steph created All the Mama Feels for her own sanity. The Instagram and Facebook accounts, along with the in-person meetup in Vancouver, function to show the real side of motherhood and provide the tools women need to reframe the context of motherhood from one of diminishment and invisibility to that of empowerment. Today she shares her definition of intuition and offers advice around accessing that instinct in the hospital environment. I ask Steph about the mind-body connection and how the gap in generational wisdom impacts our idea of mother’s intuition. Listen in to understand how the qualities required of motherhood translate to the business world and why we have a dire need for transformation in the workplace to make organizations more sustainable and family-friendly. 

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at www.startuppregnant.com/010. 

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER:   

Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: Meet Edgar! Grab your free two-week trial of Meet Edgar, a social media scheduling tool that allows you to create content once and re-use it as much as you need, at http://ed.gr/startuppregnant. 

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors 

#009 — Having children invites chaos into your life. So if your work focuses on minimalism and simplicity, how do you align those themes with the bedlam of being a parent? For Erin Boyle, she says she seeks out the simple moments: The time spent reading stories to your kiddos at bedtime. The moments when your child is calmly eating cantaloupe. The five minutes in the morning you spend sitting on the kitchen floor with your three-year-old, drinking a smoothie. The entire day isn't simple, but parts of it can have calm and peace.  

Erin Boyle is the writer of and editor of the lifestyle blog, Reading My Tea Leaves. Based in Brooklyn, Erin spent time living in a 173-square-foot apartment which inspired her path towards a more minimal, and beautiful, lifestyle. She believes that the elements of living simply are beneficial and accessible to us all, no matter the circumstances.  

Now that she is the mother of two children under the age of four, with a six-month old in the house, simple moments are even more precious to Erin. Today she shares how her background in history and public humanities led her to explore the idea of ‘living small.’ I ask Erin about her gentle approach to self-improvement and how she defines courage within the context of being a parent. Listen in to learn how getting comfortable with uncertainty a big part of parenting, why she cautions against speaking about pregnancy in universal terms, and how you can embrace the ‘idyllic and beautiful’ moments in your life. 

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at www.startuppregnant.com/009. 

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER:   

Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: HippoGive! HippoGive is a new app that donates your change by rounding up your everyday transactions to the nearest dollar and gives it to the charities and non-profits of your choosing. 

If you’ve been wanting to donate to Planned Parenthood, the ACLU, or disaster relief you can use this app and it’s a piece of cake. All you need to do is create an account, choose your charity and then set a weekly donation cap. Head to HippoGive.com to sign up. 

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors 

LEARN MORE ABOUT ERIN BOYLE:  

Erin Boyle is a minimalist who loves a good story. Her approach to living simply recognizes that life isn’t always simple, ‘but the curtains can be.’ She grew up in a very old house on the Connecticut shoreline and developed an interest in what life looked like in the past. E

#008 — “My greatest satisfaction has not come—ever—from doing more. It’s come from being really present doing the things that matter the most.” It’s hard to argue with Kate Northrup’s contention that the eight-hour workday doesn’t work from a productivity standpoint. Study after study shows that only three (or so) of those eight hours are productive ones, and I think we can all get on board with the idea of getting better results—while putting in less time at work. The problem is, how do we shift that mindset? How do we shift the idea that tells us the only way to get what we want is to do more and more work? 

Kate Northrup always knew she wanted to be a mother, and she pursued entrepreneurship partly because of the freedom it could afford her to be there for her kids. What Kate wasn’t counting on was the way pregnancy would change her drive and refocus her energy when it came to the business.

She admits that it took her a long time to "get back in the game," and that her husband and business partner, Mike, picked up the slack. But Kate credits having her daughter, Penelope, with initiating a personal evolution that allowed her to clarify her desires and ultimately renew her interest in the business and the way she thought about showing up for work in the first place. 

Perhaps there was something revolutionary here: because, as she shares in this episode, she found that she was able to achieve more even while doing less. And that some of her most productive weeks happened when she was working only 20 hours a week on the business.    

Today Kate shares her "shocking and awesome" birth experience, explaining how parenthood impacted her business as well as her marriage. I ask her how she and Mike make their relationship work, and her take on what women need moving forward. Listen in to understand why it’s important for us all to initiate the difficult conversations around current events like Charlottesville, and how her latest project, Origin Collective, works to help entrepreneurial moms achieve greater results from doing less and showing up more fully with each other.  

FULL SHOW NOTES: 

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at www.startuppregnant.com/008. 

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER:   

Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: Taskerly! They’re a virtual assistant company that helps busy parents and entrepreneurs get more done at work by doing the things you can outsource of don’t have time for. Check them out at www.taskerly.co and mention the Startup Pregnant Podcast to get 10% off of your first three months working with them. 

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors 

LEARN MORE ABOUT KATE NORTHRUP 

#007 — Rebuilding war-torn Columbia. How do you work your way back after experiencing the severe trauma of a great loss? What if that trauma was wrapped up in living through an armed conflict, either as a victim or aggressor? And what if a culture of violence was the only life you’d ever known? Today we talk to Natalia Quiñones of Dunna: Creative Alternatives for Peace.

The people of Colombia have been endured armed conflict since the mid-1960’s, when the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) and other guerrilla movements began fighting for influence in the country. Propelled by marked inequality in Colombian society, the violence among the FARC, the Colombian government, and paramilitary groups led to the deaths of more than 220,000 people, most of them civilians. More than five million civilians were displaced from their homes between 1985 and 2012, and one in three of the 7.6 million registered victims of the conflict were children. A peace agreement between the Colombian government and FARC was finally reached in November of 2016.

Natalia Quiñones grew up in Bogotá, Colombia, but knew little about the armed conflict. She was born to a privileged family and educated by American teachers in private bilingual schools, so it wasn’t until after graduation that Natalia became aware of the violence born of disparity that was happening right around the corner.

Yoga had helped Natalia cope with the loss of a close friend, and she believed that it could help heal and rebuild war-ravaged communities in Colombia—but the practice was only available to the elite. In 2010, Natalia and María Adelaida López founded Dunna: Creative Alternatives for Peace, to introduce basic poses to both the poor, mostly rural victims of the conflict and the guerilla fighters who once terrorized them.

The yoga classes have proven to reduce the symptoms of PTSD and equip locals with the tools to heal themselves.

Today Natalia shares the science behind yoga’s ability to heal, the similarities among victims and aggressors of the conflict, and her surprise at people’s capacity for change. I also ask about her unique parenting journey as part of a gay couple who adopted a daughter, which had been illegal in Colombia until November of 2015. Listen in to understand how becoming a parent changed Natalia, revitalizing her commitment to make the world a better place and cultivate creative alternatives for peace. 

FULL SHOW NOTES:

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at www.startuppregnant.com/007

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER:

Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: Aeroflow Breastpumps. They are dedicated to making the hassle of getting your breast pump a little bit easier—actually, a lot easier! Head to www.aeroflowbreastpumps.com/startup to have them help you qualify for a free breast pump through insurance.

 All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors

LEARN MORE ABOUT NATALIA QUINONES

Natalia Quiñones is the Co-founder and Legal Director of Dunna, a nonprofit created to research, design and implement intervention models in yoga and the arts, with the intention of constructing a peaceful society in Colombia after the armed conflict. Natalia is also a partner with Quiñones|Cruz, a consultancy in international taxation and tax litigation. She has served as both the president and chair of the Scientific Committee of the International Fiscal Association’s Colombian Branch as well as the editor-in-chief of the Colombian Institute of Tax Law Review. Natalia received her degree from the New York University School of L

#006 — Tamsen Webster, the Executive Producer of the oldest and one of the largest locally organized TED talk events in the world, describes herself as "pattern-driven." But pregnancy changed everything. Today, we talk about her journey into parenting, and how her ideas for pregnancy (and even marriage) were very different than reality.

She dove into her first pregnancy with a plan: she would have a natural birth and breastfeed her baby, as the research suggests. Her employer was supportive, agreeing to a shifted schedule when she returned from maternity leave. But nothing went according to plan. And later, when she returned to work, Tamsen discovered she had a new boss who wasn’t okay with the predetermined agreement.

“Once you’ve been through a series of things that are so defying of … what you thought you could handle, it resets your horizon—higher, broader, better.” 

Today, Tamsen shares her challenging parenting journey, admitting that having her sons ‘knocked her sideways.’ I ask her how pregnancy and motherhood prepared her for entrepreneurship and why we have such a narrow view of what it means to have children. Learn how the divorce made Tamsen a better mom, and listen in for her take on doing the ‘right thing’ as a parent.  

The birth of her second son presented its own set of unexpected circumstances, and having kids exposed cracks in her marriage. Tamsen made the difficult decision to leave, but the resilience she gained from surviving those challenges, and the support of her second husband, helped give her the courage to take the leap into entrepreneurship.

Today, Tamsen Webster is a sought-after keynote speaker, ‘idea whisperer,’ and message strategist. She helps people and organizations like Verizon, Ericsson, and Disney uncover and communicate the power of their ideas. Tamsen also serves as Executive Producer of TEDxCambridge, one of the largest locally organized TED events in the world. 

FULL SHOW NOTES:

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at www.startupparent.com/006 

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER:

Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: Meet Edgar! Grab your free two-week trial of Meet Edgar, a social media scheduling tool that allows you to create content once and re-use it as much as you need, at http://ed.gr/startuppregnant.

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: www.startupparent.com/sponsors

LEARN MORE ABOUT TAMSEN WEBSTER:

Tamsen’s Website // YouTube // LinkedIn // Facebook // Twitter // Speaker Lab Podcast

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:

Tamsen’s Make-Sense Mandate Post

The Barefoot Executive: The Ultimate Guide for Being Your Own Boss and Achieving Financial Freedom by Carrie Wilkerson

‘On Children’ by Kahlil Gibran

Sweet Honey and the Rock

#005 — Why do we only show outgoing, extroverted, and confident business people as the model for success?

In a world where most successful entrepreneurs and business owners are afraid to show any weakness, Morra Aarons-Mele is a breath of fresh air. The author of  Hiding in the Bathroom: An Introvert’s Roadmap to Getting Out There (When You’d Rather Stay Home), Morra admits that we’re all just faking it, as she explores how to harness the power of your “only-ness” and make the work environment work for you.

“My daily life is a negotiation between the piece of me that wants to hide and stay in bed … and the piece of me that wants to get out there and kick butt.” — Morra Aarons-Mele

By the time Morra turned 30, she had quit nine different digital marketing jobs. Assuming the work itself was making her unhappy, she applied to graduate school to purse social work and began freelancing to finance her education. Much to Morra’s surprise, she found herself working harder than ever and truly enjoying the job. It wasn’t the work itself that had her crying in the bathroom, it was how she had to do it. As an extreme introvert, the flexibility of freelancing afforded her the opportunity to do her best work.

Today, Morra shares her approach to working from home, explaining what her ideal work week looks like and how she maintains a connection with peers. She addresses her ambition to speak up for people who don’t normally have a voice, her struggle with antenatal depression, and her ongoing quest for balance between professional satisfaction and quality time with family. I ask her about the challenges that come with being a ‘hermit entrepreneur’ and how her parenting journey aligns with the evolution of her business. Listen and learn how to sell as yourself and navigate the professional world as an ambitious introvert.

SPONSOR SHOUT-OUT:

HippoGive is a new app that donates your change by rounding up your everyday transactions to the nearest dollar and gives it to the charities and non-profits of your choosing.

All you need to do is create an account, choose your charity and then set a weekly donation cap. Head to HippoGive.com to sign up.

For every user that signs up through the Startup Parent podcast, they’re going to match your first one-time donation AND send you a $5 amazon gift card. Use the promo code PREGNANT to go help people and get yourself a gift card. Thanks, HippoGive!

Check out the rest of our sponsor offers and grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startupparent.com/sponsors

FULL SHOW NOTES:

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at www.startupparent.com/005

LEARN MORE ABOUT MORRA AARONS-MELE:

Morra Aarons-Mele is the founder of Women & Work, an award-winning social impact agency, and the author of Hiding in the Bathroom: An Introvert’s Roadmap to Getting Out There (When You’d Rather Stay Home). A prominent figure in the world of digital marketing, Morra has been working online since 1999, launching campaigns for the likes of the United Nations, the Malala Fund, Hillary Clinton for President, President Obama, and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. She has written for a number of well-known publications including The Harvard Business Review, The Huffington Post,  The New York Times, and The Guardian.