Stay Bright Movement

This week is all about small and simple! Kristy shares research and her personal philosophy that when we make the effort to do small and simple things, we can have a BIG impact on others and that will in turn make a difference in our own lives. She also offers three easy tools we can put into action right away to help us start making a difference in the world and reaping the joy that comes with small acts of goodness. Pinkie swear, they really are simple!


RESOURCES AND REFERENCES:

1. Happy to Help? A Systematic Review and Meta-anaylsis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor

2. Just 7 Days of Small Acts of Kindness Will Make You Happier, Oxford Research Reveals

3. Why Random Acts of Kindness Matter to Your Well Being

4. Happy People Become Happier Through Kindness: A Counting Kindness Intervention

5. 100 Birds Taught Me To Fly

6. Mother Theresa's Words
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak. But their echos are truly endless.”

7. “Nourish what makes you feel confident, connected, contented. Opportunity will rise to meet you.”- Oprah Winfrey


CHAPTER MARKERS:

2.27- Study on using random acts of kindness to treat physical, emotional, and social problems

3:40- Pay it Forward

5:10- Story of Rachel and the tomato plants

9:45- Ideas to get motivated to do small and simple acts of kindness that make a big difference.

10:22- IDEA #1 Be a Copycat
Keep an inspiration journal and act
Take notes on people we meet to recall later
Note others' important events on our calendar

15:15- Angie story to never suppress a generous thought

19:00- IDEA #2 Let Creativity Work in You

19:32- Ashley Mae Hoiland's Be Brave Story

22:45- Ashley Mae Hoiland's GROW Story

24:19- Identifying and using our natural gifts to serve

27:45- IDEA #3 Celebrate the Small

29:02- Angie's story of losing a high school friend, and how kind words helped pull her through

31:14- Other ideas to practice small and simple acts of kindness

36:55- Our two requests this week:
Share our podcast with someone who may need more kindness in their life
Share with us your small and simple ideas to act in kindness 

This week the Stay Bright Podcast hosts Catina Haverlock in a special bonus episode. Catina shares tender lessons and personal wisdom about grief and choosing joy after her life took a sudden and unexpected turn. Catina is the mother of 22 year old, Adam who is profoundly affected by autism. She shares advice on how to avoid the comparison trap when we could be tempted to measure our happiness against others’ situations, why it’s ok to feel sad sometimes, and how to find daily bright spots of gratitude regardless of our circumstances.

RESOURCES AND REFERENCES:

Catina Haverlock:
Catina met her college sweetheart when she was 19. This year, they’ll celebrate their 26th wedding anniversary. They have four children, and after exploring different parts of the country, have laid down roots in Southern California. Catina is the co-author of two best-selling books, spent 8 years as a marketing director and professional for a Big Four public accounting firm. She served for seven years as communications director, training director and president for Nevada’s largest non-profit that serves individuals with autism and their families. Currently, she’s working on her third book and providing marketing and public relations support for a large non-profit in San Diego. She’s also Adam’s mom! Adam is 22 years old and is profoundly affected by Autism. 

1. The Autism Community in Action

2. Beyond The Novel

3. Catina's Blog

Stay Bright welcomes our first guest to the podcast! Musician Stacie Morris joins Kristy and Angie to share an unexpected lesson she learned about herself when a painful door closed in her life. Angie and Kristy discuss four tools that take us from wandering in our own emotional and spiritual wildernesses, to pointing our faith to the future. Lessons on the relationship between progress and obedience from the experiences of a developing Joseph Smith and encouraging words from Jeffrey R. Holland, John Bytheway, and Gordon B. Hinkley. 

RESOURCES AND REFERENCES:

1. Five Scriptures that Will Help You Through Almost Anything by John Bytheway

2. Saints

3. But if Not by Lance B. Wickman

4. Remember Lot's Wife - Faith is for the Future by Jeffrey R. Holland

5. 1 Corinthians 2:9

6. Believing Christ by Stephen Robinson

7. Isaiah 55:9

8. (Mosiah 15:7)


CHAPTER MARKERS:

1:30- Intro- Curveballs and unmet expectation

2:12- Lance B. Wickman- dwelling on questions

3:10- Kristy's story- "My ways are higher than your ways"

6:06- 1 Corinthians 2:9 

6:47- Tool #1- Trust the Author

7:02- We believe in Christ but do we believe Him??? 

8:35- Angie discusses humility and submissiveness 

10:27- Kristy's story about the blessing of not moving to Bend, Oregon

15:31- Questions to ask ourselves if we cannot find the open door

16:09- Tool #2- What are we being invited to learn about ourselves from this experience or this suffering?

16:23- John Bytheway- Story of Abraham

19:12- Stacie Morris' story of a closed door at Carnegie Hall

33:04- Tool #3- Don't underestimate obedience

33:35- Lesson on obedience: What we can learn from Joseph Smith

36:40- Exact obedience reference

37:26- Obedience is a form of humility and submissiveness

37:59- Tool #4- Look forward and not back

38:50- Ways that we look back

39:12- Holland quote- look forward

40:42- Rumination- unproductive thought

41:10- Can we see all things as the Lord being merciful? 

42:55- Our trust in God can be unbreakable

43:22- Greatest lesson learned from a missionary

43:47- Quote by Jenkin Lloyd Jones- "Life is like an old time rail journey..."

This is an episode for anyone who’s ready to look forward and not back! When doors in our lives close, we mourn the loss of what once was. Closed doors are hard. They should feel hard. Kristy leads a discussion on how to reframe our thinking to find other doors that can lead to new forms of opportunity, joy and beauty. These research-backed tools are especially helpful for navigating the unexpected changes of plans that life throws at us, and for the natural transitions we encounter along the way. Join us and get inspired to embrace the future with optimism and a determination to find happiness. 

RESOURCES AND REFERENCES:

1. Harvard Business Review: To Get People to Embrace Change Emphasize What Will Stay the Same.

2. Identifying Opportunity in Adversity

3. ERL: Do you see problems as Obstacles or opportunities?

4. The Benefits of Adversity are Very, Very Real

5. Tough Mudder Obstacles

6. Tell Your Heart to Beat Again Lyrics by Hilary Weeks


CHAPTER MARKERS:

1:12- Opening scenario- When a door in your life closes 

4:43- "When doors close we mourn the loss of what once was….closed doors are hard”  

5:44- Kristy story: Not getting motel manager opportunity but something better

10:38- Angie story: Missing out on buttery yellow house but meeting BFF 

15:47- Research backed tools to help us find the open door when one closes 

15:56- Tool #1- Accept and embrace that the old door has closed 

16:43- Continuity- An effective change leadership strategy (HBR)

17:45- Kristy story: Keeping things the same while in a 6-week hospital stay 

19:33- Finding comfort in continuity while facing long term and short term changes 

20:44- “In overcoming resistance to change…. communicate and appealing vision of change in combination with a vision of continuity” (HBR)

21:12- Angie story: Finding continuity during COVID-19 changes 

22:34- Tool #2- Believe another door is going to open and determine to find it

22:57- “…offsetting opportunity in every adversity and every obstacle…” Robert Ringer's experiences

25:22- Angie story: How moving strengthened her confidence and changed her perspective on what she’s capable of doing.  

27:25- Tough Mudder obstacles 

29:00- “Obstacles don’t have to stop you…..” (Michael Jordan) 

29:47- Tool #3- Find beauty in the transformation  

30:02- Kristy story:  Finding beauty in the transformation of her marital separation 

31:36- Kristy story: Metal being re-shaped 

32:24- Annihilation quote: What is indestructible and unbreakable in us?

33:23- Angie story: Transitioning from home to college  

36:00- Benefits of closing doors 

Most of us have more things expected of us than we can possibly do.  Our spiritual and physical health depend upon our ability to regularly assess what is needful in our lives and to let the rest go. Using the Savior’s admonition to Martha to choose what is needful, Angie leads a discussion on the four key relationships that will help us determine what is spiritually essential in our lives.


"I’m going to make a simple and bold statement: I believe it is vital for our spiritual and physical health to learn how to regularly assess what is needful in our lives and to let the rest go."


RESOURCES AND REFERENCES:

1. Good, Better, Best by Dallin H. Oaks

2. Of Things That Matter Most by Dieter F. Uchtdorf

3. Martha and Mary, Ensign Magazine, April 2019 Camille Fronk Olson

4. The Power of Plainness by Marvin J. Ashton

5. Luke 10: 41-42 "And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her."

6. Matt 16:26 "For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?"

7. D&C 88:63 "Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."

8. John 6:35 "And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst."

9. Acts 2:17 "And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams:"

10. Mosiah 4:27 "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order."

11. Revelation for the Church Revelation for Our Lives by Russel M. Nelson

12. The Family: A Proclamation to the World

13. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Using concepts from Greg McKeown’s Book, Essentialism: The disciplined pursuit of less, Kristy makes the argument that only once we give ourselves permission to stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone, can we make your highest contribution towards the things that really matter. She teaches some key tenets of essentialism including the need to prioritize our own lives before everyone and everything else will. We explore some tools that help us decide what our highest work is, how to cut out good opportunities for something better and how to give a graceful no. Join us for a conversation that will help us commit to things that are truly important and restore the quality of our life’s work!


RESOURCES AND REFERENCES:
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown
Why So Many Successful People Wear the Same Outfit Everyday
Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport
Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships

Angie poses the question: Is worry a choice? And if so, what can we do to overcome it? She bases her spiritual tools for worry on the principles Paul taught about fear in 2 Timothy: Power, Love and a Sound Mind. She shares insights from those who survived the Great Depression and the Holocaust and issues a single challenge that will help you experience more peace and light and worry less. 

"...repeat after me, we are not puppets in the hands of fate, and no matter how dire our situation is, we are not designed to be acted upon."

RESOURCES AND REFERENCES:
Gordon B. Hinkley: God Hath Not Given Us the Spirit of Fear
D&C 50:23–24
Act in Doctrine: Spiritual patterns for turning from self to the Savior by David A. Bednar
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
2 Tim. 1:6–7

Managing emotions is a full-time job! And learning how to soothe worry is a fundamental life skill and a key component to emotional intelligence. In this episode, Kristy leads a discussion that helps us understand why we worry and guides us to make a healthy plan for managing it. We’ll explore how worry can actually be useful and give you tools to escape the riptides of worry - when worry runs amok! Also, tips on how to know if what you are feeling is more serious than run-of-the-mill worry. 

"We want a sense of self-mastery... that our emotional reactions are appropriate and proportionate to the situation."

RESOURCES AND REFERENCES:
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
Psychology Today- Emotional Intelligence
Worry and Generalized Anxiety Disorder: A Review...
How Worrying Affects Your Body
An Investigation of Worry Content Among Generally Anxious Individuals
Emotional First Aid by John Fishbein
The Opposite of Worry by Lawrence J. Cohen
A Smart Girl's Guide: Worry: How to Feel Less Stress and Have More Fun

In this episode, Angie shares tools to help us turn disabling shame into faithful action. Through the concept of divine discontent, we explore the usefulness of a healthy sense of guilt and how it can motivate us to strive for change. We learn to identify when our productive guilt has soured into paralyzing shame and what to do to break out of it. 

"Healthy and reasonable guilt is taking personal responsibility for our not acting in a way that honors our true potential . . . This is responsible and can even be hopeful and productive."

"There is a profound difference between shame and guilt." - Brene Brown

RESOURCES AND REFERENCES:
1. Brene Brown's thoughts on Shame vs. Guilt
2. Michelle D. Craig- Divine Discontent
3. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling
4. All In- Courtney Rich: My Recipe for Battling Depression Christ and Cake
5. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 Paul's thorn in the flesh reference. My grace is sufficient for thee. When I am weak, then I am strong.
6. Helaman 3:35 Wax stronger and stronger in humility and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ.
7. John 17:3 This is life eternal, that they may know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.

In the process of growing into more mature and developed versions of ourselves, we can sometimes compare where we are on the journey to where we feel like we should be. We can be our own worst critics. We might even call ourselves hypocrites. In this episode, Kristy breaks down the distinction between a true hypocrite - one who pretends to be something we are not in order to deceive, and a human - one who makes mistakes in the process of improving. She shares tools to help us take off our masks and view our own and others’ mistakes more compassionately.

RESOURCES AND REFERENCES:
The Origin of Hypocrite
Blog Post- Pastor Charles Pope
I Can Change -Brandon Flowers
Strategic Silence- Withholding Certification Status as a Hypocrisy Avoidance Tactic